Done

 Have you missed me? How much? Prove it, comment on the post or maybe I'll never share my brilliance with you again. 

Nah for realz if you're happy to see that I am tapping these keys again you should totes thank Ms Dahlia. It is all her doing. 

Months ago Dahlia, Dez and Cass went on a most epic road trip. Much fun and giggles were had by everyone.

It was officially time that my besties should meet my top, or rather it was way past time but we were finally able to coordinate the schedules of all these alpha types. 

So we drove to the state where they have the very worst food from all over the globe, and had the very best time. You should see the pictures but you'd have to be my Fetlife friend to do that cuz ya know vanilla privacy and such. 

There was this moment. I believe I was bent over an easy chair. Master John had suggested he would stop paddling me as soon as one of my friends guessed the number he was thinking and I was crying and laughing at everyone in the room. You don't understand Sir they are not going to try. Never do they ever get to see Mistress Cassidy V Cream in a compromised, this person won't bend a rule for me position. And Dahlia and Dez, did I mention his sign? He totes means it, he is never going to stop. He is going to charge the red cape and hit my red ass until the end of time if one of you don't guess right. And it was right about then, if memory serves me, that Dahlia said something like: Oh hey while she's already in trouble, could you help me with something? For real, blind panic and terror. What is she going to ask him? Is she going to tell him what a cunt I am some mornings when it takes too long to get breakfast? Is she going to tell him about that one time when I <perhaps there's a small rule I may have broken, but I know you'll read this and I have right to not self incriminate Sir> FuckingA my ride or die, most loyal of friends is going to sell me out and watch me squirm. 

And she said, "Make her write in her blog again. She hasn't in months, and I miss it.".

Voyeuristic Thursday: 10 Weeks of Self-Inflicted Punishment

A kind and patient Mistress Cassidy

The following is slave allan's assignment from last week. If you missed my post last Thursday, his assignment was late, leaving Mistress to write her own post for Thursday at 3 in the morning. On the one hand, allan failed to complete a task by a specific deadline, and he failed to ask for an extension. I am a rather indulgent top. I said that to a very good friend of mine the other day, while her and I do not have a dynamic, she is active in the scene and knows me better than most. She laughed when I said I was indulgent. You cowered before me,I was frightening. <--- my favorite scene from my favorite movie, 100 cool points to whomever identifies it. I send candy to a little who is not My little because it warms my heart when she asks for more spankies please. I take calls from My Hazey kitten at 6 AM, that are not emergencies even after she has been told emergency calls only at that hour. If slave allan had simply asked for an extension, if he had even messaged me within say an hour of the deadline and explained what had happened, I would have said I understand. I would have said that it was OK allan, tend to your responsibilities and I hope you're not too uncomfortable after your procedure. I would have made a note to Myself to follow up and ask allan how he was feeling on Friday. I am typing this on that Friday, it will be next Thursday when this posts. How are you feeling slave?  Perhaps my indulgent nature is not appreciated because it has been awhile since I shared how strict I am in public. At parties we see Mistress Cassidy massage guests with Dreamer and Dancer, the volume seldom going past a moderate 6. On CB we hear Mistress patiently explain to would be subbie boys, please don't use dismissive terms like sweetie to compliment a top, Goddess is more appropriate and My Goddess is not if I haven't claimed you. I am so patient, how do you not know that? On the other hand, allan failed to complete a task. No further explanation or justification is needed for what comes next. 

slave you will not be released from your task. Your task is being expanded. You will continue to give yourself 5

 Mistress having far more fun 

whacks, once a week, on the same day. You are to pick a day and tell me via email within an hour of reading this. If you find you can not complete your task on the day you choose you are to send me an email explaining why and ask permission to swap days. (That should have been understood without me needing to explain that allan) And you will now do 10, You will first do 5 on the spot you last used, and then 5 more on a new spot. Are these written directions clear enough? If for example the last week you gave yourself 5 on your right inner thigh, this week you are to do 5 on your right inner thigh again and then 5 on say your left upper arm. The following week you would begin with your upper arm and then 5 on a fresh spot. You are then to send me an email with THREE sentences only. The post below, while it is very well written allan, it does illustrate that you still have not heard me when I say you need to be more concise. The 3 sentences will 1. verify the task was completed, 2. state where you delivered these slaps, and 3. one statement of your thoughts. You will be released from this task when I feel like releasing you, if ever. Do not ask to be excused from it again. 


Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack is a familiar sound to me. Five whacks applied to my inner thigh with a wooden shower brush once every week is the punishment given to me by Mistress Cassidy. Nine times this ritual has played out. This week being the tenth time. Why do I have to do this to myself, one might ask.  For that, there is no one better to tell you why than Mistress Cassidy herself. Here is the link to her post where I was assigned this task.
 http://mistresscassidycreamsmusings.blogspot.com/2018/08/q-tuesday-floggers-and-impact-toys.html

When I started the task I confess I did silently question the punishment. I reread the post because I didn't think I had said something so terribly wrong. Even after rereading the post I said "Really" in my private thoughts. But I did not challenge Mistress's assignment, I just gather up the tools I needed for the task and set myself to it. I stripped completely, pulled on the panties and sat on the edge of my bed. I picked up the brush looked at my target spot and swung. I remember thinking "l know when it is going hit. Where is the anticipation in this? "CRACK" the back of the shower brush connected with flesh. The result was surprising. When the brush first hit I was startled by the noise it made. That commanding thud of the impact and the higher pitch ricochet sound resulting from exploding flesh. I saw my skin turn red and my nerve ending was sending a message to my brain saying "I feel a sting". I brought the brush down equally as hard the second time, having the same reaction and actually saying out loud "Ouch! that hurt". I wimped out on number 3 and more or less just patted the skin. I was afraid of the hit. I immediately felt bad though. As a slave I had a feeling Mistress would disapprove of me holding back. So, on hits 4 and 5 I returned to the intensity of the first two impacts. I marveled at the darkness of the red forming on the impact zone. I then laid back and fought off the urge to brink myself to a release, But I did enjoy the stinging sensation for about 20 minutes before it diminished away. Over the next few weeks, I carried out the routine obediently as a good slave should. At some point, I realized I was looking forward to changing into panties and carrying out my task. I would try every few weeks to change it up and increase the force of the blow. I also started to wonder what it would feel like to strike other areas on my body. I contemplated trying to spank my backside, but I came to a conclusion first. It dawned on me then that I was thinking about this task all wrong. It wasn't a task to get me to like the feeling of spanking myself. No, It was a lesson for me to learn that I chose to be Mistress's slave and in doing so I am to carry out what she demands of me. My servitude is not solely for getting a tickle in my shorts. I knew then and there that I was doing this task, not for sexual gratification. I was spanking my thigh each week so Mistress would be pleased with my effort and hoping in return to hear her say "Good Slave". So for me now as Mistress Cassidy slave, I strive to complete a task not for what reward is in it for me. I complete it because it is what Mistress told me to do, and if she is happy when I am done. Then I did my part right.

 

As for the present task, I have asked Mistress for release from it. You can see the request in her group on FetLife at https://fetlife.com/groups/175329/group_posts/13352079?page=1#group_comment_120208815 Mistress has chosen to have me carry on for now. Tomorrow is a big one for this assignment, it is the tenth week. This time I have been asked to provide pictures of the task while in progress. I also think for week ten I will try an impact or two using the bristle side of the brush. What do you think?

Mistress Cassidy's New Contract

Until recently I wasn't especially attracted to formal contracts. Until I wish to offer a sub a collar there is no reason whatsoever to create one for professional sessions. And with subs that transition from clients to collared by the time I am offering them my collar we have already established the ground rules that guide our dynamic. I may jot them down or truthfully I have on a few occasions tasked my sub with writing what they understood the expectations to be and I simply correct any mistakes and sign off on what they have presented me. I do love to write, but overly formal, wordy, micro-managing is just not a hot button for me. I had never been terribly impressed with what I saw in other's contracts either, slave will suck my dick on demand. Well I lack the appendage and I am not a big fan of demands in either direction. I much prefer my personal subbies long for me, and beg for me. Collared subbies that came via the professional route are never, ever going to be allowed to suck my anything and they are well aware of that limit before accepting my collar. I came across a contract that I really appreciated though. I no longer recall where, so unfortunately I can not credit the creator. Other than the first line of the bottoms guidelines, this is not a copy of that contract. What I liked was that the requirements for the sub focused on the well-being of the sub, not how the sub was expected to serve. The responsibilities of the top were more clearly defined in my opinion than those for the bottom. I want a sub who seeks my collar to know exactly how I conduct myself. I want them to know my style, my preferences and to recognize that what I give them is a significant piece of my life and my energy. If this is not what they seek, if they simply want to be told that they will perform on demand, I am not the right dominant for them. 

So this is the blue-print for my new contract. It will be augmented to reflect the specifics of the bottom it is edited for, but I had two bottoms I in mind when I wrote it. With my upcoming move, my intention to essentially live in two states that are separated by 600 miles, I wish to find the best among the submissives that currently serve me informally and to transition them into collared positions. For my plans to go smoothly I will require the devotion and dedication that comes from a committed sub. I will print no more than 9 copies in the next year, and  I may print less. But I suspect 3 subs in Massachusetts, 3 subs in Virginia and 3 virtual subbies is what I will require. I will continue to see newbies, and uncollared subs, but my focus will be on and my attention will be given to those who serve me formally.   

Mistress Cassidy V. Cream recognizes that your skills, attitude and general demeanor is pleasing to her and does wish to extend a formal offer of my collar to you. I wish for you to be my _________, and I will refer to you as__________at community events and in private. As my _________ you will be expected to follow the following rules at all times, to the best of your ability. You will without hesitation disclose any infractions immediately. 

1. Each morning you will state a thing you like about yourself. It should be an original thought each day. At any time I may ask you what your statement was that day, you should be prepared to disclose it.
2. You will check-in once per week via_____ on _____day. At which time you will update me on any projects we are working on, your schedule for the following week and you will share one statement that you used the previous week. 
3. You will disclose to me your fantasies, your hopes, and your goals. Both as they are currently, and ongoing as they change. 
4. You will refrain from self-harm, and negative internal chatter. If this proves to be difficult for you, you will bring it to my attention so we may develop a strategy to address it.  
5. You will disclose your fears, concerns, and limitations. Including but not limited to hard limits, phobias, medical conditions and the state of your emotional well-being. Again this will be both as the are currently and as needed should they change. 
6. You will protect yourself in and out of scenes. You will, to the best of your ability, avoid toxic people, and unsafe situations. 
7. You will use your safe word of ______ in scenes as needed, without fear of repercussion, at any time for any reason. You are trusted and encouraged to know your limits, to know when you are ready to push on them and when to hold firmly to them.  
8. You are my property and I expect you to maintain yourself in a manner that reflects the value I recognize in you. 
9. When I am in _______ you will be available to me ___________. I will use ______ to contact you. You are expected to acknowledge my messages within _______., to carry out any task that I may ask of you or to ask for additional time if needed. 
10. When I am away, in my absence you will be expected to continue with all rules listed, to complete any on-going projects or tasks. And to communicate with me via _______, _________.
11. In an emergency in my absence you are to contact ________ via__________ and to heed her advice as if it were mine. 
12.  At scene events and in private you are to refer to me as _________, In vanilla public settings and around muggles, you may simply call me Cassidy. Your overall demeanor at these times should reflect your respect and affection for me, but I do not expect you to out yourself. 
13. If ever you do not understand the instructions I have given you, you may respectfully ask for "clarity" and expect that I will clarify my instructions without frustration.

As your ___________ you are my property and you will be treated with the utmost respect and care. I place the highest value on my belongings. The following are my promises and responsibilities to you. 

1. I will guide you through your experiences in submission with love and affection. 
2. I will not withhold affection or attention as a form of punishment.
3. I will never strike you or otherwise cause you pain out of anger or frustration. I do not hurt people out of malice, I hurt people because I enjoy it. 
4. I will be available to you for after care in whatever form best matches your needs immediately after all scenes and as needed in the days that follow. 
5. I will include you in community events that I deem appropriate for you. I will give you clear expectations for any event we attend.
6. I will reply to your messages within 24 hours, in the event of an emergency and an emergency only you may contact me via _________. An emergency is to be understood to mean that you are in immediate risk of harm or have sustained an injury of significance. 
7. Should I come to be disappointed in your behavior it will be addressed quickly, kindly, using precise language, examples of the behavior and with clear instructions with how I expect it to be remedied. I do not expect my submissives to be mind readers and I would never intentionally set you up to fail.
8.  When I feel our dynamic has reached it's natural end or should you seek to be released from my ownership, I will release you with kindness, grace and gratitude. I will maintain your privacy and my respect for you until the end of time. 

Ch-Ch-Changes

I do so wish I had delayed the last post a little longer, but I had no reason to think we were going to jump in this new direction today.
A while back I mentioned I was considering no longer sessioning with new-to-me clients. I could link to that entry here, maybe I will edit & add that later. It's late, I'm nearly out of smokes and planning on quitting tomorrow, not tonight.
It's been on my mind for some time. It's a huge risk. I love huge risks. But truthfully I would have stood on this cliff for a really long time, maybe forever. I debated this already in the entry I am not linking to now. I do enjoy seeing new clients. New-to-me and total noobs are equally cool once they're in my dungeon. The never ending advertising, screening, and the god damn dick pics I have to weed through from wankers & time wasters to get to the actual subs, that's the part I could do without. That's the part that sucks my time, annoys me, puts me off my lunch and really, enough already.

I'm not doing it anymore. 

Effective immediately. 

Did I really scare you there? Don't panic you silly little mutes. I stood on this high risk cliff for over a month because I was certain there must be a way that I can avoid all that noise & bullshit and still see new submissives. It presented itself tonight.
Princess Gemini Enterprises has been debating what to do with our Wednesday parties for some time now. I talked them up in the last entry, the one I wished I had delayed posting. Every word was absolutely true, still true even. Omitted was the part that Wednesday parties as they were are unsustainable. The decision to drop our price and do one price for all was made earlier. That alone was a brilliant idea. Maybe that alone would have changed things, but that wouldn't have lead to me making the announcement I made above. Without being a part of the behind the scenes of a party, the way this ties together may not be readily apparent. Stay with me, you don't have to see the way it all ties together you can just trust me that it does.
We will now be hosting a $10 Wednesday party every week. The whole crew will not be necessarily be present every week. We will each choose which weeks we wish to be part of the party and we (or at least I) will do it based on what we have planned. At Wednesday parties I will no longer be engaging in performance scenes, I will be offering private, mini sessions. This will be the ONLY  route to a full, one on one session with me for the foreseeable future if we haven't sessioned together before. My tribute will be greatly reduced, as will the list of potential themes. Both to be determined shortly. You will contact me before Tuesday if you wish to be considered for a Wednesday session, we will have our time together and if I wish to see you again we will arrange a one on one at my dungeon. I will no longer need to do excessive screening as you are coming to a public venue. I will not require a deposit, as I will not be going out of my way to go to my dungeon for a sub who may get cold feet. I suppose as a woman on the internet, my inbox will remain a landing spot for unwanted, gross dick pics but now I can delete without opening! If I don't have an ad actively running and an email has an attachment, I will know you are just a random wanker & not a hopeful subbie sending a simple candid photo so I might know who I am sessioning with. You may enjoy the rest of the night at the party just like any other party, there will still be vendors, a DJ, and bar. Other crew members may opt to do performance scenes as they wish and Princess Gemini has several other great ideas that will be introduced over the next few weeks.

Guest Post: Slave Joe's Edging Adventures

I thought we should switch things up here a bit. Mistress has been naval gazing in her blog for a few entries now, which is my prerogative but I thought my mute little readers might like something new. To that end I requested my long distance slave, slave J* share his thoughts on his current experience. Mistress has introduced him to edging. I'm going easy on him, he's a newbie and I didn't wish to overwhelm him. The following are his thoughts in his words.

Day 1
When you gave me this edging task I kinda thought it would just be something new to try and it would be easy. It is harder than I thought. This morning it took me a little over 4 minutes to edge. I tried to hold as long as I could but after about 15 seconds I had to stop. I did not have an orgasm but fluid came out. I cleaned up but when I stood up more flowed out. For 2 hours after I really felt the urge to have an orgasm. Then this evening I went slower and it took me about 7 minutes to edge. I tried slowing down to almost stopping and then slowly masturbate again. I lasted 32 second this time. There was a lot more fluid this time and when I pulled my pants up and stood up, it just flowed out. I had to change my underpants. Now I just want to masturbate and reach orgasm. This is a very frustrating experience.

Day 2
This is a strange experience. I am masturbating in the morning before I go to work and again at night when I get home. It keeps me aroused all day long. It is really getting difficult Mistress. Today was not much different. In the morning I was erect in about 5 minutes and was able to stay on edge for 40 seconds. There was still a lot of fluid coming out. This evening it still took me about 5 minutes to edge but I could only edge for 10 seconds. I could tell if I did not stop I would have an orgasm. I did not have much fluid come out at all. I still feel very aroused though. 

I am really starting to struggle with the need for release. Mistress Cassidy may I Please! have an orgasm? ( Just received an email from my Mistress, she said no to continue edging). 

slave j*

It's Mistress again. He is actually on day 3 now, and I just sent him his instructions for tomorrow. Silly sub thought just because he said please I was going to let him orgasm. But he is doing such a good job, I thought I could extend just a little kindness so I gave him a choice. Tomorrow he may orgasm if he wishes, but he will have to find the time to edge 3 times a day daily for the next few days. Or if he chooses to delay one more day, he may orgasm on Friday and take the weekend off from his task. Let's see how much self-control he has. I am hoping that he has none! I think the entries from having to edge 3 times a day will be far more entertaining than an entry that reads I was a good sub, delayed my gratification and had a relaxing weekend.

Mistress's Escape: Part 2

Can you see that glow? 

So Mistress spent 2 days in Richmond with her friends, and then jetted further south to spend time with someone special. Now Mistress isn't the kind of woman to kiss and tell, so you little voyeurs are going to be disappointed on that front. I mention it at all only because the traveling portion of my vacation greatly outpaced the visiting portions of my vacation. Over the course of 5 days, I had around 30 hours alone with my thoughts behind the wheel. I love time alone behind the wheel, I should pencil in these trips far more often. 

A couple things that I have held as hard limits as a professional dominatrix unexpectedly crossed my mind for reconsideration during my travel time. I am the first to acknowledge that as a professional I am a pretty conservative dominatrix. Safety, in all forms, is always a top priority for me. I don't just mean the safety of a specific act, I also mean the well-being and emotional safety of my submissives. I play in many settings, with people I have varying degrees of relationships with. The one on one professional scenes I engage in with clients are in many ways more intimate than any of the other settings. What a submissive client shares with me is often what they can not share with anyone else. I strive to create an atmosphere without judgement, and for this I am rewarded with candor and raw honesty from my clients. When their interests match my own, an amazing experience unfolds. I love this about my vocation. The flip side of this is when a scene ends, my clients return to their vanilla lives alone. I am available should my subs reach out for follow-up or aftercare; but I can not usually reach out to them. I can not compromise their vanilla life to inquire if they're experiencing sub drop, if their bruises are fading (or remaining) as they wished. And, I feel like most people don't consider this component of a professional dommes life, I can not reach out when I need aftercare. Tops drop too. I am a verbose, articulate person. After play with my partners or friends I can say I need feedback, I need cuddling, I need a sandwich and my needs are met. It's just not an option after sessions as a professional. I strayed off subject here a little bit from my intended subjects, but I'm not going to edit. 

Back on track now, what specifically crossed my mind for reconsideration was cold starts, and tapping out. For those who may be unfamiliar with those terms, a cold start is a scene that has been pre-negotiated and begins without further discussion when those engaging come together. Kidnapping scenes for example might be best played out with a cold start. Tapping out I imagine is a more recognizable term, using one's safe word, calling the scene, tapping out. Whatever one may call it, by tapping out I mean ending an activity because one has reached and perhaps breached their limit. 

I have never allowed cold starts in my professional sessions. I maintained that it simply was not a safe way to play with a stranger. At the start of a session I ask my subs about their health, I reiterate the interests they have shared with me previously and I establish my boundaries & expectations for our time together. It has worked quite well for nearly 20 years, but it is not without flaws. I decline scenes that I believe I would enjoy if they don't lend themselves to this ritual. Transitioning from welcoming, inquiring behavior into the actual scene can be challenging for me even after all these years and I have always recognized that most subs have a difficult time switching gears too. I am an experienced player. My negotiation skills are beyond reproach. Why am I denying myself experiences I know I will enjoy? Do I trust my screening process? Is my faith in my skill set false bravado? Am I doing what I have always done just because it's what I have always done? I pondered those questions for many miles. I am ready to expand my experiences, and I'm going to offer cold starts when appropriate. 

Tapping out. I instruct my submissives to use a traffic light colors for their safe words. Yellow if they need me to ease up, red if they need a full, immediate stop. I spend so much time on this pre-scene. To new subs I say, "As this is our first time playing together, for today only if you say stop, don't,or no I am going to pause. I am going to ask you for clarity, do you mean to say red or do you wish to continue? We will proceed from there accordingly." That's a lot of words. I have also always taken great pride in being able to say that the only subs who tap out in my scenes are those who have specifically asked to be pushed to their limits. I am now not only not proud of that statement, in truth I think I am a bit embarrassed by it. Subs are needy little creatures, they stumble in their nervousness and stutter when I demand they bare their soul to me. It is a rare day that I get a brave soul who can articulate that what they really want is to be taken beyond their limits, to be pushed to breaking down. Yet I do know, truly know, no one seeks out an experienced dominant because they wish to play with a kitten. Hard limits are hard limits, boundaries are for expanding. I am not a kitten.  I know the limits of my gear. My tools are very much an extension of myself in my hands. Have you seen me swing? Why do I give my subs safe words if I do not trust them to use them? I play with adults. I play with competent people who have worked up the nerve to seek out what they need. I am confident in my ability to comfort my subs and tend to their broken selves. Mistress has expanded her boundaries. I wish to be able to say that the majority of my submissives tap out when we play. 

Travel Q&A with Mistress Cassidy & slave allan

1: Now that the two month of 2018 is behind us and we look ahead to spring is upon us. Does the rebirth of spring have Mistress Cassidy planning any changes to yourself or to your dungeon and what interesting events are upcoming for you and the dungeon crew?

There is so much going on with both my dungeon at Safe Haven and with Princess Gemini Enterprises. Most of these things are still in the planning, not ready for disclosing just yet stage. But stay posted. Mistress is also moving very soon, and I may need some subbies to haul my gear where ever I'm going next. Yes, Mistress needs to move in about 6 weeks, and as of yet, I have no idea where I am going. 

2: You mentioned either to me or on your FetLife profile that you would like to pack your toy bag and travel more this year to offer your domination to other willing subs. I realize that traveling to my neck of the woods is

not in the plans but is there some destinations that you may be considering.

Canada actually is on the agenda for July, but I am looking at Toronto to visit a friend of mine.

Let's see what's on the calendar so far... I'm heading to Richmond next Sunday, March 4th. I'll be there for 2 or 3 days, and sessions will be available while I am there.

Then Mistress is heading to Myrtle Beach, SC for more of a workcation

And then the whirlwind trip will wrap up with Mistress spending a few days having some glorious downtime with a playmate in xxxxxxxx. No sessions will be happening during that leg of the trip.

Austin is tentatively on the calendar for June. There are a couple more trips also penciled on the calendar, but those like the plans for the dungeon & parties are still in that not ready to announce stage.

3: You mentioned on FetLife that you need some help and you have a need for an assistant. For those fans who choose not to be on FetLife, would Mistress like to mention here for them what assistance you are looking
for.

I'm not sure which post you're referring to, I have been looking for several professionals. I was looking for a stylist, but I have found Miss Hazy and so far, she's working out quite well.

I also need a web designer to do some work on my site. 

I could use a media manager, especially when I try again to quit smoking. It's impossible for me to manage my accounts during the first few days quitting, it has been my downfall twice now.

Another Round of Q&A

  Today we venture back to Mistress's studio to find Mistress Cassidy. Mistress has agreed to answer some more questions for us. The topic today is about general BDSM practices. In future Q and A's, if Mistress permits me, I would like to focus on just one topic. That way the people coming into the scene can benefit form Mistress Cassidy's experience. Also, keep an eye out for my blunder. Even with just asking questions a slave can get into trouble. I better get this started before Mistress decides to snap her whip

Could Mistress describe for those new to the scene, what is wax play?I would put wax play under the umbrella of sensory play. Wax play might take the form of simply dripping candle wax from a low-temp burn candle onto a partner's or one's own skinor it could be an elaborate scene of layering waxes, that one might sculpt, carve, peel or whatever your wicked imagination can come up with.


What are sounds?

 Urethra sounds are wands/rods that are inserted into the urethra. They should be medical grade stainless steel and properly sterilized between use or disposable catheters may be used. 

When you watch a BDSM scene on a video clip, when a sub is being flogged the motion of the flogger looks like it is only lightly caressing the sub. Is there a level of pain and discomfort for the sub during these punishments? 
 Floggers are made out of many materials from tickling fur to biting stiff leather. There are many ways to swing a flogger and a whole body's worth of places to land the swing.  I don't know what flogging movies you have viewed so I can't speak to what the sub may have been experiencing. My go-to floggers are a pair of red and black suede floggers with weighted handles. I have been swinging this specific set for at least a decade now, so they are well broken in. I can swing these so they don't touch the sub's skin but simply cause a stir of the air, I can caress like a massage with them, I can do thuddy, rhythmic flogging or I can cause welts with them. I often use them in one hand, doubling the impact. I sometimes hold them above a sub's flesh & just shake them so they tickle the sub. When I do two-handed flogging I might swing them in unison, I might do an alternating swing or if I am feeling particularly rhythmic I might do one forward & one back- I often goof this up after a half dozen swings though. I have several floggers. I have mentioned a few of my other favorites in previous entries. I have a short, maybe 15" stiff rubber that seems to have been made from the same material as a car floor mat. Again, a soft swing will just make a thuddy impact. A swing with some weight behind it will bring welts. I have a super stiff purple leather, that's around 30"s and I would love it except it has a less than comfortable handle. A heavy swing with that will break the skin. Then I have my silver handled weighted, black leather that has 24" or so fells. The handle is very comfortable, and it will also break the skin. I have paracord floggers, I had a beaded flogger- not sure what happened to that now that I am thinking of it. I have latex floggers in a range of lengths, including 6" nipple teasers. Material & swing determine how it feels against the skin. 
   

In a BDSM scene, do some dominants actually use bull whips, cattle prods, and shock collars? Or is that a myth?

 Some dominants use bullwhips. Some use cattle prods. Some use shock collars. At one time I owned an elastarator (gizmo used to castrate goats & cattle), and I used that several times before becoming annoyed with always dropping the itty bitty elastics all over my space & retiring the piece. I have never used a bullwhip, cattle prod or shock collar in a scene. My space is not big enough to use a bullwhip in, and I do not know a qualified user to tutor me in proper use. I imagine cattle prods & shock collars are probably similar to using a TENs unit, but I do not have any personal experience with either.
Have you ever heard of the term pervertable? And if you have, could you tell the new people to the scene what it means?
 A pervertable is a vanilla item that can be used as a kink item. I have a pair of paper holders, I suppose they were intended to hold phone messages or something like that- alligator clips on a spiral of wire attached to a weighted base. Since I use them to clip nipples, we could say that they are a pervertable. A feather duster is a pervertable, a leather belt is a pervertable. There is a song from a kid show that's name is escaping me that features a song called "Anything Can Be a Bookmark" and the lyrics go on to suggest you can use all sorts of things including your grandma as a bookmark. It's quite silly, but just as anything can be a bookmark, anything can be a pervertable. 

For newbies among us. Is there a difference between Femdomme and serving a Mistress?

There is or there isn't based on what the terms mean to the person using them. A Mistress may or may not be a professional Mistress, a Femdomme may or may not be a professional Domme/Dominatrix. One might serve, see or session with either or with a woman who identifies herself as one or the other. Femdomme sometimes means dommes who enjoy a female supremacy style of sessioning.

What is a Findomme, is it a fetish with fish, or a preference to dommes from Finland? ;)

Edit: I remember when I was responding to this Q&A with slave allan. I was in an incredibly cranky mood. I think that contributed to the less than complete response here. A findomme is also a specific fetish. From what I understand as it is not really a type of play I engage in, it is typically strictly about an exchange of money or gifts. The sub enjoys gifting, indulging, perhaps providing for his dominant and his dominant enjoys receiving. But it is also, incorrectly I might add, used as I described below. /End edit 

A Findomme is an (IMO) stupid word someone coined to described a professional dominant woman, aka a woman who charges you to beat your ass. While some women seem to embrace the term, and that's their prerogative, I find it silly at best. Forevermore I'm going to think of a Finish Domme with a Fish thanks to your question. I prefer the term professional, and the average person shouldn't have such a difficult time understanding that professional means one who is compensated for their service. But yet every day I encounter a new newbie who has to have that explained to him, who then often tosses an "Oh you're just a Findomme then and it's all about the money for you" at me. It's late now, I am overtired we may edit this before publication. But you touched a pet peeve of mine. Does the average dude believe that they can contact a stranger, include a dick pic and ask her to truss him up like the Christmas goose and light his ass on fire and that the average woman is going to jump at such a glorious opportunity? And if the average dude knows women who would, he should contact those women & not me. It is not "all about the money", what a ridiculous accusation; but I know of no one who loves their job so much that they do it for strangers for free. I love what I do as much if not more than any of my friends seem to love their job, it is completely reasonable that one of the reasons I love it is because I am compensated very well to do it.  ( I am pleased to say that slave allan was not punished for making Mistress think of a Finish domme with a fish)

What would you say was the most interesting thing you ever did to a sub with ice.
 The most interesting things I have done with ice specifically have been during my personal time not during a session. I have a bit of a thing for ice, I think I forgot to mention that a few Q&As back when you asked about my fetishes. I guess I have done a thing or two with ice in sessions that I suppose is interesting in their own right. I will use ice and my hot stones during a sensory scene.  I have slipped ice into the plastic-wrapped subbie burrito. I have fed bound subs ice when they seem to be overheating. 


I don't know if you're a cold weather girl? Have you ever done an outside winter scene with a sub?
 I am very much a cold weather woman. Also don't refer to me as a girl again. If I opt to on occasion that is my prerogative; you will remember I am an adult, your superior and your owner. I have not actually done any outdoor winter scenes. While I love outdoor play, it is especially challenging. I think it is in very poor taste to expose others who have not consented to be part of your scene to session activities, even if one is very covert about it. Finding a place that one can reasonably expect will be free from mundane by-standers is a challenge on its own, finding an accessible spot in poor weather is more so. 

(I am very sorry Mistress, for displeasing you by me referring to you as a girl)

Other than the obvious, is there very much difference between a male and female session?Truthfully I have not had a session with an AFAB (assigned female at birth) woman professionally. I have had a limited number of couples session with me over the years. In my experiences with couples, it has been that the male partner was the primary submissive and the female partner either wished to learn a specific skill and/or wished to witness her partner's session. So even in my experience with couples, I have not really played with a female submissive professionally. Women, in my experience, do not seek professional scenes. I am sure the biggest reason for that is women seldom have a hard time finding a partner who will say that they will accommodate their interests. Which I think is in a way unfortunate, and likely leads to submissive women having much less than ideal experiences with partners of various skill levels before finding a skilled partner that they also connect with.  I wish that more women viewed their fantasy life in the same light they view their other personal needs. I don't think anyone would consider seeing a professional masseuse, for example, inappropriate while in a relationship with someone capable of rubbing their shoulders. While a massage is an intimate experience, no one would think if it as cheating or straying to see a professional when one needs the skill level of a professional.On your FetLife profile, you have pictures of some custom made collars. How would an individual be able to acquire one?

 Those are collars made by Master Paine, who I have mentioned a few times here. If one was interested in a custom collar or other leather piece, they should let me know & I will relay the information. Master Paine has a vanilla life too and I am not at liberty to give his contact info to strangers. 
Post editting note: Master Paine has now, finally, set-up a Fetlife profile. He can be found their under the handle "MisterPeterPain". 
  This is a shout out for Kinky Social at http://www.kinky-social.com/user/MistressCassidy  Are you enjoying the site?

I am. I love Fetlife, I have been a member there for many years. But right now on Kinky-Social, as a new site, it is pretty quiet when I visit. If I want to post a blog entry or comment on another's post I can do so without being interrupted by private messages. I am certain that soon enough that will change as the site gains momentum, but for now, I will enjoy the quietness.What is the name of your website again, for a first-time fan? 
cassidycream.comOnce again it has been a pleasure having Mistress Cassidy enlighten us with her knowledge of BDSM. Please make a point of visiting her profile on both Kinky Social and FetLife and say hello. Just remember, if you wish for Mistress to continue contacting you please always be polite and respectful and that will help. I am leaving Mistress's studio almost unscathed today. I must never refer to Mistress with anything less than a woman. Not with a girl, never never again. If anyone has any ideas for future topics, please let Mistress Cassidy know, and if you ask nicely enough she might put you in contact with me, so I can include your query in a future Q and A. 

Let's Talk About Language: Part One

In every pursuit one might investigate, there is a certain learning curve associated with learning the language of the particular interest. A sewing bobbin is not the same as a fishing bobbin, for example. Until you know what the unique meaning of a term is within a particular community, you won't be able to fully understand any instructional presentations and you won't be able to fully participate in the activities. In the BDSM scene specifically, not understanding the terms used by experienced players may compromise your safety or it may prevent you from meeting others best matched with your interests. Sometimes you can figure things out as you go, but this approach may lead to creating poor first impressions, or worse.
I'm going to share with you a few commonly used words and terms, and a quick definition of what I understand each to mean within the BDSM community. This is a list for beginners, just the basics for now. A couple will have multiple meanings, I will try to give an example that illustrates the context. Some may have other meanings within subsets of interests in the scene or may have a different meaning in your local community, I can not begin to know all of the possible meanings in those settings, so when you hear a word used in a context that doesn't fit your understanding of the word, politely ask for clarity from the person using the term. Take some comfort in remembering that everyone was a newbie at one time, and even seasoned professionals come across new to them terms occasionally.
Now, in no particular order, the words a new comer to BDSM should know:

• BDSM: Let's just start here, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sado- Masochism. Turn to your dictionary for the definitions of each. Here understand that it is short hand for all the fetishes, kinks, quirks and activities that fall, broadly, under one or more of those categories. Some activities associate with the bdsm scene may not fit neatly into one of those categories, Let's use cross dressing as an example. Cross dressing might be used as a form of humiliation or discipline, but cross dressing in & of itself, strictly speaking, doesn't quite fit. Yet, in my opinion, I would include it under the wide umbrella of bdsm. Let's not get too bogged down in details. BDSM: adult activities that cover a wide range of interests, that typically include bondage, discipline and/or sado-masochism.
• Vanilla: Like the ice cream, it implies things that are plain, ordinary or uncomplicated. I don't know that is a fair way to think of vanilla ice cream or vanilla life, both do have their subtle complexities & some of us consider vanilla our favorite, but all the same, 'vanilla' covers anything that isn't bdsm/scene related. One might use vanilla to refer to topics that are off-limits or out of bounds in the scene. We might refer to our family, job, or our interest in ice cream, as part of our vanilla life. For some there is barely any line between their vanilla and their scene identities & lives; for others there is an absolute, clearly established, 20 foot wall between their worlds. Whatever your own divide looks like, everyone should show the utmost respect to the divides of others.   
• Mistress/Master, Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/Dominant: I'm lumping these together to streamline the list. They are almost interchangeable but there might be subtle differences for the persons choosing them for themselves. Collectively they are probably the most commonly used titles and terms for females or males who are---funny, I am having such a hard time breaking this down for the imagined new comer I am explaining it to, We might say they are used for the person in charge, or the person presenting as the 'top' either in all matters or in a specific scene, but neither of those statements are really true. The Mistress/Master or Domme/Dominant is the person in the position of responsibility either in all matters or in a specific scene.  There, that is more accurate. Of this list, I personally do not care for the term "domme". After 16 years in the scene, I am still not certain how it is to be pronounced, I have heard it said the exact same way as 'dom', I have heard "do-me","dough-me", "dough-may" and "do-may". It is intended, I believe, to be the feminine version of dom which is the abbreviation for dominant. I find dominant to be gender neutral, and the use of domme to be unnecessary and redundant. But some women in the scene seem to like it, so if you are told to refer to someone as such, do so. 
• Slave/submissive/sub: In my opinion, these terms are less interchangeable than the terms for tops. To experienced players they often imply very different meanings, but they are commonly used interchangeably in various representations of the scene. Each suggests a person who has considered and negotiated their interests and boundaries and who wish to relinquish, temporarily or long-term, some or all of their responsibilities to another. A submissive might enjoy receiving discipline, may wish to be of service, or any one of countless activities associated with submitting one's self to another. A slave implies one who has, or who wishes to, submit more formally to another, For me, it implies one who is in service, or is seeking to be in service, typically under a well defined contract, which may be short term or long term, with specific, agreed to, limits and responsibilities assigned to each within the contract. The term "Collared", would also be appropriate for one in an on-going, formally agreed to situation.
• Switches, Bottoms & Tops: These words, while they do mean different things, are more alike than any other of the combos above. A switch is a person who moves between these definitions. It may be clearly defined roles, they submit to Mistress X but they dominate Person Y. Or that in different situations they enjoy different roles; in public they like to submit, in private the prefer to dominate. And it may be that they wear these different hats equally as often or that one is a rare activity while the other is their primary interest. One is a switch if they say they are a switch, and they are free to define it however it fits for them. A bottom is one who is in the position of receiving an action typically for a specific act without any implication of ongoing submission. A good example would be agreeing to receive a flogging for a demonstration on safe flogging practices. The receiver, the bottom, might be a submissive, they might be a dominant, they might be an adventurous vanilla person; whatever else they might be in the situation they are the bottom in that scene. A top is essentially the reverse of a bottom. A person who in a specific situation is administering an action, directing a scene or taking the responsibility of the scene. Again this may or may not be the hat they typically wear, but they are wearing it now. An example may be a submissive who is partnered with someone who identifies as a switch. They may not have an interest in this position, but they have agreed to for this scene with their dominant. Or if we applied to the demonstration example given for a bottom, they could be a dominant but they are not this bottom's Master. Their responsibility to this bottom will end when the scene ends.    

When I sat down to pen these ideas I had for an entry, I had no idea it would be so long. I've only covered half of the words I intended to, and the entry is about twice as long as I had imagined it would be. If you haven't already, create a bookmark so you won't miss part 2. 

Timing is a funny thing sometimes.
Before writing the last post about my intention to begin offering online & distance training, I set a task for My secretary slave. His task was to find 3 adult websites that have affiliate marketing programs. I had found one on my own that I was excited to work with, a company that I use often for adult items. I had hoped to do regular reviews of their products here in my blog. You'll notice I'm not referring to them by name. When I was nearly finished with their application process, their terms of agreement doc was the last to check off on & submit. They don't allow adult websites & blogs to market their products. A company that specializes in dildos & cock rings, doesn't want to be associated with adult websites. Go figure.
Anyway, back to the story. I didn't give him parameters. I didn't say, I'm not interested in sketchy websites selling penis enlargement supplements, for example. I'm not at all interested in those programs of course, but it was a test. Would he, after several months of online communication, know that I am only interested in reputable companies offering quality products. Products I would honestly be interested in trying out and if happy with, would be confident in suggesting them to my subs & readers.
I'm happy to say he passed. He completed the task before the deadline & sent companies that I will likely feature here & on my website Cassidy Cream  in the future. One in particular stood out, so I choose to investigate that one further first.
And this is it. Adult toys that can be remotely controlled from anywhere with a phone app. Considering my intention to begin offering distance training, this is exactly what I need that I didn't know existed. I am absolutely stoked by the idea of sending my online subs out into the real world, stuffed & plugged under their vanilla garments, and that I can, at my whim, start their bottoms humming. I am a safety conscious Domme, I would of course know their schedule well enough to not have them distracted while driving or operating dangerous equipment; but I would so set them to throb while they were at a pub after work or while they went for their afternoon jog.
Use the link above if you wish to purchase a toy for yourself, use this link if you'd like to gift Me with something fun:  https://www.lovense.com/wish-list/zxfm