Tuesday Q&A: Watch Me

Just a little off but not behind schedule this week. I can't be behind, Thursday's post already exists. I must be off though, here it is Tuesday and I am sitting at the keys. This will post today. I think I have shared my approach before, I prefer writing the week's posts on Sundays and scheduling them to post on the appropriate days. It gives me a chance to let my thoughts sit for a minute, then check for typos and edit before it goes live. There is a perk to same day posts though, they're just completely off the cuff so I am far less inclined to self-censor. I know you're laughing, you're saying she doesn't self-censor. I do, trust me, things infinitely more outrageous than what makes it to print float through my thoughts constantly. 

I think this post will lend itself really well to off the cuff, uncensored me. I think before I am done I am going to add an outrageously inappropriate for public photo to it, hit save and live with the consequences. It's Tuesday, the most muggle day of the week. Let's get in trouble. 

The idea for the post has been floating around for a week or two. There's a rough outline in my rough outline notebook. I have explained before how Q&A Tuesdays work. I have explained my ocd before, Tuesdays are for Q&As. I forgot to ask allan for questions again. I forgot to tell him to make it a standing order, questions every week allan by Friday. There check that off the To Do List. So I asked allan for questions on Saturday I think. He followed directions, he typically does. I didn't give him a theme, just send anything. He sent 3 great questions, that completely do not fit this week's agenda. But my ocd says that Tuesdays are for questions, preferably questions asked by slave allan. Although for the record if my followers wished to ask me a question, I'd be happy to add them to a Tuesday post. I'm going to answer a question allan asked in an email that he intended to be answered for him. 

The question was; is it appropriate for me to watch your broadcasts on Chaturbate I am your slave, should I see you this way? Let's expand this to fit here. 

Mistress Cassidy, I sessioned with you in 20**, I moved away, should I watch you?

Mistress I haven't seen you irl yet, but I intend to, should I watch you?

Cassidy we use to work parties together, should I watch you? 

Cassidy we go to the same parties, should I watch you?

Denise, we went to high school together, should I watch you? 

Denise- Cassidy, which do you prefer now? I am your BFF, should I watch you?

Well, are you my friend? Do you want to be? Are you cool? Is this one of my current projects? What do the cool people do? They support their friends projects. I feel like I have said this once or twice.  If you are awake at midnight I would love for you to come hang out with me while I broadcast. 

Why should you? Well aren't I the most charming person you know? Don't you want to spend time with me? More seriously, I am trying to build a following. The hours I am available to broadcast are not the busiest hours on the site. The number of people hanging out in a room is one of the factors that determines where one's room is shown on the list of broadcasters to choose from.  My public broadcasts are very conservative compared to other broadcasters. Viewers on Chaturbate can view and message broadcasters for free with or without signing up as a member. I save the most risque parts of my broadcasts for private shows when viewers pay for them.  One of things that keeps a viewer in your room, improving the probability that they will choose to engage in a private show, is how well the broadcaster is engaging with her followers. If my room is packed with my friends, it will be engaging. 

 

What will you see if you come hang out? You will see me start off the night looking pretty, I hope, with fresh make-up and my hair done. You'll see me being flirty. Which I think mostly looks silly. You'll probably see me roll my eyes at some of the screen names and pick up lines the muggles use. You'll hear me say no, a lot. You may hear me negotiate a private session, it may include some adult language but that is more commonly done in private messages. You may hear me retell stories you have heard before, and I bet a bunch that you have not. You may hear me tell a story about you, I promise I will protect your privacy and I assure you I only share stories that are happy memories. You will probably be flattered. You may see flashes of nudity.  You'll hear my favorite songs. You may see me quite enjoy myself, but not quite thoroughly enjoy myself. I save that for private sessions. I will duck out occasionally for private sessions as they happen. If you're so inclined, there's an option to spy on private sessions for a fee. For what it is worth, people spying on private shows are anonymous. Unless I happen to notice that the tip counter is moving at a rate reflecting that there additional viewers, I will not even know that someone is watching, I definitely won't know that it is you watching. Know how much time I spend worried about who spied on my shows? Exactly zero seconds. Watch me, I like an audience. I do not engage in anything, anywhere, that I wouldn't smile to know that every adult on the planet signed in to see and enjoyed. And when I come back from a private or at the end of the night, you may see me look tired, but quite satisfied. 

Tuesday Q&A: The Things I Love

By now if we have been listening to Mistress, we know Mistress enjoys  her floggers. In my opinion, Mistress Cassidy is an artist with them. That being said, Mistress may I ask what would be your next favorite thing to do in your dungeon? 


As many times as I have been asked what I enjoy most over the years, (to give you an idea of how many times that is, I've been asked twice this week not including being asked by allan) I have no go-to, stock reply. I love everything I do. Well except writing ads and screening new clients. Aside from ads and screening, I love every single thing I do. 
My job is the best job on the planet. I get to hear people's secrets. I get to see people be their most authentic self. Sometimes I help them come to terms with that. In a sense I am acting out my own fantasies. Do I have to remind you my fantasies have little to do with bumping and grinding? Someone who has known me since I was a child said to me the other day that I was always the save the world type. I am so arrogant, and I was so flattered by the observation, but my hubris is not quite that big. I am not saving the world, but sometimes I think I might be helping some clients save themselves. Sometimes my 'cross-dressing' clients are taking their first step towards coming out as trans. Sometimes my clients disclose to me the trauma they have carried their whole lives. Sometimes I see widows, who are lost without their partner. Sometimes I just smack people around who I suspect actually do deserve it.  As a child the things I pretended I might be some day were a mommy, a teacher, a dancer, a circus performer, a writer, and a therapist. For real, I had the couch for it and everything. My approach to being a dominatrix, let's me be all of those things and more. I get to play dress-up. I get to use my imagination. Every session is a new playmate who contributes to how this round of make believe will unfold. They seldom unfold in a predictable manner, there is almost always a plot twist. No one talks to me about the weather. In Massachusetts, that in and of itself makes professional domination the best job in the state. 
It is 2:30 in the morning. I love writing at this time of day. I love doing anything at this time of day. It does seem to cause me to be even more verbose than my already talkative self. There must be 300 words there, and I haven't answered the question. 
Let's try again, I have insomnia. 
I love tickling scenes. I don't see nearly enough tickle enthusiasts. When I find the right rhythm of switching back and forth between tickling and a little pain infliction, I can get a sub in such a frenzied state that just placing a finger tip on them makes them jump. I love that. I love paddling scenes. I might lay out a half a dozen implements, then ask the sub to look at them. I watch their face as they do. Which one makes their eyes go big? I love working on two subs at once. It is such a rare treat, but I had it just the other day. I warmed them both up with some playful, light flogging done to- this is so goofy, but it was so much fun, done to Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews singing Supercalifragiliisticexpialidious (even with Google helping I think there's a typo in there). Mary Poppins transitioned into White Zombie, and I asked each of them to watch me work the other so they might know what's in store for them next. They both whimpered for me. One spontaneously thanked me with each blow, and the other kept insisting she needed more spankies. I loved every single second of that scene.  I love CBT, which here does not mean cognitive behavior therapy, or maybe it does. The bottoms who ask for that are often very masculine in a traditional sense. My first ever CBT scene was on a man who was in the military. He stood at attention and said thank you Ma'am may I have another each time my knee connected.  I was mesmerized by the rainbow of colors his face shifted through, red, maroon, purple, and then quite alarmingly he went pale. He was OK, he was very experienced in this play and was absolutely aware that I was not at the time.  I love when I pull off nipple clamps and a sub mistakenly thinks they are getting relief. For those not experienced in extreme nipple play, the worst of the pain comes when the blood flows back in, think about when your foot falls asleep, it is like that. If a really cruel Mistress was to also tweak them around at that moment, a sub might just drop to his knees. I love when a sub drops to their knees. I love sensory deprivation and overload. I love the way a securely blindfolded sub will start to whip their head back & forth when I have created the illusion by soundlessly moving around them that maybe there are two people touching them now.  I love trampling. It is the only thing I offer that I feel poses a little risk to me. Standing on a live human, sometimes in high heels, and then walking on a shifting platform is exhilarating. I am very cautious with how I arrange for those scenes, but often as they unfold I find myself wanting to take small risks. I'll start to sway a little to the music, I might bounce and jump a little, and I often find myself laughing in these scenes. Laughing while standing on a human's barrel shaped chest is kind of scary, but I love that too. I love foot worship. It is the only flesh I allow subs to touch.  It is a firm boundary, one I have no interest in pushing or altering, that I do not allow "body worship" in my sessions. Some providers do, and I do not judge them for it; but it would not be pleasurable for me. Yet, I do need some intimacy in my scenes. I need to feel a connection. My feet are incredibly sensitive. Allowing a submissive to put their hands on my feet let's me feel some reciprocity in our scene but stays within my comfort zone.
I love keeping this blog. I am an exhibitionist. Do you want to see my everything? Well you can't. You probably can't. Well if you google the right combo of words maybe you can. Go, try, tell me what you find.  Today, you can not see my current everything. That level of exposure isn't enough for me anymore. Today you can see more than that, you can see my thoughts. Did we forget that I am also an ego-maniac? I am, and there will be no apologies. I love my thoughts. I love checking my blog stats and seeing that every post I share, the number of people who read not only the current post but all of my posts goes up. Sometimes it's just by a few readers, sometimes it's by a lot. You like reading my thoughts. You dirty, dirty voyeurs. I love voyeurs.  

Tuesday Q & A with Slave allan

My OCD feels that we should assign a specific day to be Q & A day. My awareness of my schedule suggests this will prove to be a silly idea. But let's try anyway. What day? Monday is my most favorite day of the week. Monday is for list making, and starting new projects. Mondays are for my thoughts. Monday will not be the day. Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week. It's a muggle day, very little probability of magic on a Tuesday. Wednesday is the first day of the weekend. Packing typically happens on Wednesday. Thursday is for travel. Friday and Saturday are for parties. Sunday, also know as Pre-Monday, is for aftercare, reflecting on a great week and preparing for Monday. I see it, let's try to elevate poor Tuesday. Tuesday will be for questions with slave allan. Just created the auto-post for this entry, this Tuesday is the last day of July. My quirky tendencies are happy with this, and to give it a little magic boost to kick off I scheduled it to post at 11:11. Make a wish, you're welcome.   
The last Q&A slave allan sent me had 3 questions. You'll notice there is only one here. slave allan is great at coming up with ideas for questions but they don't always fit my style or what I want to focus on at the time. Note to self: give allan some clearer directions for how to choose topics. 

slave allan: It's summertime let's daydream a bit. You have collared your dream
slave. You want to escape with said slave to have your way with him or her as you start their training. Where did you escape to and what isinvolved in that slave's training? 

Mistress Cassidy: There you go again slave allan- suppose you could do anything you wanted, anywhere you wanted, what work would you want to do? I'm mostly teasing, but being a top to a real human is an investment of time and energy. It is work. Work I love, work that I identify as my calling, but it is work nonetheless. Even when we move past the blurry lines between what I do for a living and what I do in my personal dynamics, even when we are firmly in the this is my personal dynamic realm, it is still a position I take seriously. A new slave (and for the record in my personal life one who identifies as a slave would not likely be terribly compatible with me. I require my partner level playmates to have opinions, to have personality, to embrace their submission and to proactively wish to give it to me) back on track, no matter how dreamy this bottom may be, a new playmate and vacation do not really go together in my mind. I do not have my way with my subs privately or professionally. Ideally I have their way in a way that I very much enjoy. The getting to know a sub happens long before I offer them my collar, especially in a personal dynamic.   

Let's take this in another direction entirely. At this time I am more or less single. I have no interest in vanilla dating and no interest in a new personal dynamic with males. I wish to be vanilla-single for the foreseeable future. Before this current round of singleness, I have been single for a grand total of 20 months since I was 13. Nineteen months of which happened in 2000-2001 when my other adult relationship of much significance ended.There are things I wish to do, goals I have set and ideas I want to explore for myself, by myself. Yet as into me as I intend to be, I am as far as I know, human. I do enjoy the company of other adult humans and from time to time, and I may require a bit more than their conversation. So let's try describe the person I would wish to spend time with while I explore my singleness. I would like to meet a submissive or more bottom-than-top switch of a woman. They would enjoy being pampered as much as they enjoyed serving. They would have a moderate to heavy pain tolerance or being willing to build to one. Articulate, and verbose, but equally able to be quiet & listen. Self-confidence that borders or ever so gently crosses the line into arrogant. I have a weakness for arrogance, it must be reality based and it must be slight, but I do enjoy someone who knows they are special. Independent, self-sufficient but maybe cling just a little bit during a thunderstorm or scary movie. It would probably be best if she currently or has ever worked in the adult industry and that it was a positive experience for her. I am so over explaining to other feminist in the vanilla world that I am not exploited, that I love what I do, that the adult industry has been liberating, empowering and wonderful to me. It would be best if we were on the same page in that area. I like indulging kittens, puppies, little/middles, but my preference is a princess like myself. I'll sound so narcissistic saying this, but the more a person reminds me of myself the more attractive I tend to find them. They should identify as poly/non-mono, but truthfully I would probably prefer that they not have another relationship of significance. I do not mean to sound selfish, but I am newly navigating poly myself. The first year didn't quite unfold as I had anticipated and I just don't have the patience for ever expanding rings of partners and partners of partners. I am over the never ending let's talk about our feelings, again. Oh did that read like I feel exploring polyamory was a mistake? That isn't what I meant. It should have conveyed that while I am certain that I am 'poly' I am equally certain that I am meant to be mostly single while I learn what style of non-monogamy is right for me. Casually dating others, while able to demonstrate that they value their safety and health as much as I value my own, would work for me. A schedule that somehow matches my own bizarre schedule that completely lacks rhyme or reason so that we may spend a day together often and an occasional weekend away. 
Now to try to bring it back to your questions allan; once I got to know my new princess, when I knew if she liked exhibitionist play (I do hope she does), when I knew if thuddy or stingy was her preference, and when I knew all the spots that bring her to her knees, I'd put a sparkly collar on my prize and bring her anywhere in the world she wished to go. 

Be sure to check out slave allan's blog too: https://slaveallan68.blogspot.com/2018/07/i-wager.html

slave allan can't stay away- Q&A returns to Mistress's Blog

1: You recently mentioned wanting to create an RV dungeon. I do have to apologize though. My first mental images were that of Walter White standing in his underwear next to his RV on Breaking Bad.

Or Robin Williams misadventure in his movie called RV, when I first read your idea. So for clarification purposes, would you describe for us what Mistress's RV dungeon would look like to you? 

lolz allan, that was a great opening for a series though wasn't it? So, I have only the roughest ideas of what the RV should look like. I had a cute little tow behind vintage Scotty for ages, don't ask what became of it, it's a scary story.

Anyway, I have a thing for vintage campers and RVs. I'm not afraid of driving something old enough to buy itself a drink. I trust the universe will put the right unit in my path at the right time, and I will do my best to be patient (god damn that's so hard for me) in the meantime. When the right one finds its way to me the right vibe for the dungeon will make itself known too. What I do have imagined in technicolor detail is what this adventure is going to look like, and how it is going to work, and I am so super excited about it, I'm going to act like that's what you asked and ramble on about it.

I haven’t announced any of this on my blog yet, have I? Well either this is the announcement or I'm going to have to scramble & write that post before scheduling this one. Mistress is going to become a Gypsy (I so love that word; please forgive me I know it's less than PC to use) Dominatrix. Surprise!

For now, Massachusetts is going to remain my primary residence, and I am going to continue to run the dungeon for Princess Gemini Enterprises. When the time comes I will work out a schedule with Princess that will probably be something like our first and second Friday of the month parties and 2 of our mid-week, Purgatory at Platforms, parties.  I've also just begun, this Thursday is the first, hosting my own small gatherings at Safe Haven. This Thursday is a foot worshiping party, the next one planned will be announced soon. Anyway, assuming those come together as expected, I will continue to host 2 of those during the weeks I am in Massachusetts. I've also got one more idea that I was about to unveil soon, might as well do it now. I am going to start hosting an Aftercare Potluck one Sunday a month. I'm picturing not quite a munch and totally not a party get together.  No cover for anyone who has attended a Princess Gemini, Safe Haven, or Twizted Acre event within the previous month or anyone who is a regular submissive of mine, low donation for new friends. This will be my event, I am simply extending the offer to guests of those venues because I love the guests at those venues. I'm picturing barbecues, tapping friends who offer Reiki & other forms of bodywork, and I'll offer guided meditation and/or hypnosis. I'm picturing just a casual networking and community building event that brings local kinksters together. So Princess Gemini parties, Thursday parties, Aftercare Potluck, of course, I will visit Twizted when I am home, and I will see my local submissives while I am home. I'll also spend time with my vanilla people, eating the best seafood in the US and riding my pony while I'm home.

But who cares what I will do when I am home? The exciting part is the part when I am not home! My current goal is to head out the first week of July. I was hoping for sooner, I was hoping for last week, but apparently things take time and patience. Whatever, Mistress has neither of those and I don't see the value in acquiring them. The first trip will be local, a week up to Maine to spend time with my family and to test the roadworthiness of the RV. I will probably not offer sessions during that trip. Then Virginia!!! My last trip was just not long enough at all. Two weeks this time, at least! I couldn’t make it down to take care of my Baby Boy I mentioned in the post about BDSM & Sex recently, and I have so much guilt over that, I am working on a special idea for him when I do make it down. Maybe if you ask nicely he'll consent to sharing pictures. I'm hoping my Hazey will be able to make this trip with me. She works just as hard as Mistress behind the scenes to keep my world spinning smoothly, she deserves an amazing adventure too. While I will obviously see new-to-me submissives in Virginia, I will be carefully screening for long-term compatibility, Richmond will be a frequent stop for me and having my needs met while I am there is, of course, a priority. There may be an adventure within an adventure with a side trip to see my top, but that's none of your business nosy little voyeurs. I am planning, preparing and budgeting for 6 months of travelling. If there are unexpected bumps in the beginning I want to stick it out at least that long to see if the bumps have solutions. If it smooth sailing and as magical as I imagine it will be, I am thinking this might be what the next couple years of my life looks like. The stops during those months will likely be Maine, Ohio, Virginia Beach, Richmond, VA, Western Virginia (not West Virginia, Mistress has no friends in WV at this time send an application if you'd like to be a WV friend lol), North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Austin, Texas. There was also a hope that I would make it to Toronto this summer, but sadly I think that may need to be penciled in for Spring of 2019.

2: Staying with the same theme. If money was not a factor. What would Mistress's RV dungeon be like. Would you remodel a 53-foot truck and trailer to build your dungeon in? Or go for a bus style Motor Coach to be your workspace?

Who said money was a factor now? Money is a resource and a tool, and there is an incredible abundance of it in the universe. While I don't happen to be in possession of very much of it at this moment, when I need it I can find it. My dream space would be a collection of cottages in quiet settings around the country in the places I love.

My OCD would like them all to be nearly identical, with duplicates of my gear and costumes in each so I don't have to pack & schlep them around. I would spend whatever season I like best in that location and move to the next when the whim struck me. I would skip the RV entirely in this fantasy and travel in a different fashion between each. A train when moving between ones that had mountains along the route, a boat to an island getaway, etc.

I've edited the last question from the original conversation between slave allan and I. I didn't love the way it read and even with repeated editing it just wouldn't flow smoothly. Mistress is in a little bit of a funk, and that is probably playing a part in my inability to edit for smoothness. The RV I was so looking forward to seeing this past weekend is most definitely not The One. It's OK, I trust the universe will bring me the best & right one at the right time, but truly patience is not a particularly defining characteristic of mine.  

Really Cool Questions

Yesterday I posted something trivial about my dungeon on my personal Facebook account. A friend of mine from way back in grade school had some interesting questions based and it seemed like a great theme for a post...


1. What exactly happens in this dungeon? Alchemy, and magic. Well that's what I want to happen in my dungeon. Some sessions are, most aren't quite that cerebral. What exactly happens. Typically I arrive an hour before my scheduled session. I am about half transformed when I arrive, I finish getting into character (where going to come back to that term in a moment, I've already read through the questions) and set-up the dungeon for the scene in that hour. My client arrives, if they are a returning client there will be small talk, hugs, perhaps inquiries about their experience post-scene from their last scene. If they are a new-to-me client we will spend some time getting to know one another. I ask medical history questions. I explain how to use our safe words. I establish the boundaries for our time together, and I give them a chance to express their goals for our session. During this time I may answer questions about my gear, my experience with their kink, or how I would handle emergency situations. It surprises me that not every client asks those questions. Anyway, once those pleasantries are out of the way, the session begins. They're told to strip naked, and to leave their clothes in a specific manner. If they fail, they are told to do it over again. This is my thing, it's one of the few things in a session that is for my benefit. It's how I gauge how present they are. If their clothes wind up on a heap on the floor, it's probably nerves but they are clearly not all in and I won't have that. They will be given their instructions again and I will employ some tricks I know to insure their attention stays focused no matter how nervous they are. I may ask them to repeat back to me each thing I say to them. Or I may walk them through a breathing exercise. In any case I will not be ignored nor will I have a subbie smack their head off the beam in the ceiling because they were hyper focused on the tingly feeling in their privates. Each session is different, each sub has their own interests and the session does revolve around their interest. In no particular order I offer: tease & denial, CBT/NT (cock ball and nipple torture), sensory deprivation & overload, restraints, corporal punishment, impact play, piercings, cross-dressing, service training, etiquette training, chastity & key holding, adult baby/Little play, consensual/non-consent, fire play, puppy/kitten play, hypnosis, foot/shoe/stocking worship and probably a half a dozen things I am forgetting. There will be no more smoking fetish or human ashtray scenes though. There are a handful of things I only engage in with submissives I know well, like hard-core humiliation scenes and blood play. And there are a handful of common BDSM themes that I am just not into so they don't happen in my dungeon. When a scene is finished, I tend to my subs in whatever manner is appropriate, and typically we spend some time talking about the scene before they leave. If I have any reason to think that they are not ready to drive, I insist that they hang out longer & have a bite to eat or whatever until it seems they are back in their head properly.
2. Not judging, is this a vocation? Avocation? Both? People pay you? Yes, yes, yes and yes very well. At the risk of sounding silly, I do very much feel that this is my calling. I know a lot of people from all walks of life. The ones that I recognize as being the happiest are the ones that spend a significant amount of their free time doing what they do for a living. One of my best friends is a midwife, and an educator. When she isn't actively engaged in catching a baby or teaching her official students how to catch a baby, she's talking to someone about catching babies, about teaching, or about holding sacred space for women. She is on her best, right path, doing what she was called to do. I earn a living walking people through their fantasies, taking something that is in their head and turning it into something that happens in the flesh, in real life. When I am not doing this for a fee, I am here writing about it in my blog. I am encouraging my friends to pursue the thing that will make them happy (it's not always sexy fantasies that I walk people through). And when I have down time, private time, time for me, I am to the best of my ability turning my fantasies into realities.
3. U tie people up? Spank them? Mild torture for lack of a better term? Tie people up, yes. Spank them, among other things, yes. Mild torture, hmm. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes I wear gloves that go past my elbows and put down a painter's tarp. 4. Is there sex? There has to be some form of gratification, no? U dont get someone so worked up and then send them home do u? Oh DC, now I know you don't read my blog regularly. In my professional scenes there is no sex. At this time, in my private play dynamics, there is also no sex. I am certain my clients would tell you that they are satisfied. I often get people worked up and send them home. There are many ways gratification can manifest, and yes I totally know we are using code words here let's be blunt & vulgar instead. An orgasm isn't the only way to feel satisfied. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You also can't have an orgasm and also hold that precise moment before when every nerve ending in your body and every wire in your brain is vibrating and screaming this is the very best feeling that has ever been felt by anyone ever. Unless your top orders you to. Calling on that energy, and then intentionally harnessing it and redirecting it is it's own gratification for some.
5. How did u get into this? Go back to my first entry here. 6. Is it men? Women? Both? I see more men than women, but I see both. I also see people who identify as gender fluid, gender bending, non-binary and a host of other terms. And I work with couples.
7. Does it excite you or is it like a job? Your playing a role and when the play is over you come out of character?
It very much excites me, in the way someone who loves their job is excited by it. Again, you really should read the first post. I said in that entry, I do not turn up the volume to become Cassidy Cream, Cassidy Cream dials back the volume to pass as Denise in the real world. This is who I am, all the time.

8. Has it ever gone too far? By too far i mean someone hitting u back, sexual assault, someone stalking u?
I have never had a work situation go too far. I have never had a client actually or try to hit me, I have had incidental & accidental hits and kicks from a sub struggling in a session that I have agreed to allow this sort of play. I have worked in several professional vanilla gigs, there was far more inappropriate sexual contact & innuendo in those settings than there has been in 20 years as a dominatrix or the 10 years as a stripper before this. At parties, occasionally a newbie (or an asshole) doesn't know (or doesn't care) what the appropriate way to approach a woman might be. So in that setting yes, a random groping, swatting or off-color joke happens. But again, compared to going to a vanilla club for a night it's very minor & tame.

Another Round of Q&A

  Today we venture back to Mistress's studio to find Mistress Cassidy. Mistress has agreed to answer some more questions for us. The topic today is about general BDSM practices. In future Q and A's, if Mistress permits me, I would like to focus on just one topic. That way the people coming into the scene can benefit form Mistress Cassidy's experience. Also, keep an eye out for my blunder. Even with just asking questions a slave can get into trouble. I better get this started before Mistress decides to snap her whip

Could Mistress describe for those new to the scene, what is wax play?I would put wax play under the umbrella of sensory play. Wax play might take the form of simply dripping candle wax from a low-temp burn candle onto a partner's or one's own skinor it could be an elaborate scene of layering waxes, that one might sculpt, carve, peel or whatever your wicked imagination can come up with.


What are sounds?

 Urethra sounds are wands/rods that are inserted into the urethra. They should be medical grade stainless steel and properly sterilized between use or disposable catheters may be used. 

When you watch a BDSM scene on a video clip, when a sub is being flogged the motion of the flogger looks like it is only lightly caressing the sub. Is there a level of pain and discomfort for the sub during these punishments? 
 Floggers are made out of many materials from tickling fur to biting stiff leather. There are many ways to swing a flogger and a whole body's worth of places to land the swing.  I don't know what flogging movies you have viewed so I can't speak to what the sub may have been experiencing. My go-to floggers are a pair of red and black suede floggers with weighted handles. I have been swinging this specific set for at least a decade now, so they are well broken in. I can swing these so they don't touch the sub's skin but simply cause a stir of the air, I can caress like a massage with them, I can do thuddy, rhythmic flogging or I can cause welts with them. I often use them in one hand, doubling the impact. I sometimes hold them above a sub's flesh & just shake them so they tickle the sub. When I do two-handed flogging I might swing them in unison, I might do an alternating swing or if I am feeling particularly rhythmic I might do one forward & one back- I often goof this up after a half dozen swings though. I have several floggers. I have mentioned a few of my other favorites in previous entries. I have a short, maybe 15" stiff rubber that seems to have been made from the same material as a car floor mat. Again, a soft swing will just make a thuddy impact. A swing with some weight behind it will bring welts. I have a super stiff purple leather, that's around 30"s and I would love it except it has a less than comfortable handle. A heavy swing with that will break the skin. Then I have my silver handled weighted, black leather that has 24" or so fells. The handle is very comfortable, and it will also break the skin. I have paracord floggers, I had a beaded flogger- not sure what happened to that now that I am thinking of it. I have latex floggers in a range of lengths, including 6" nipple teasers. Material & swing determine how it feels against the skin. 
   

In a BDSM scene, do some dominants actually use bull whips, cattle prods, and shock collars? Or is that a myth?

 Some dominants use bullwhips. Some use cattle prods. Some use shock collars. At one time I owned an elastarator (gizmo used to castrate goats & cattle), and I used that several times before becoming annoyed with always dropping the itty bitty elastics all over my space & retiring the piece. I have never used a bullwhip, cattle prod or shock collar in a scene. My space is not big enough to use a bullwhip in, and I do not know a qualified user to tutor me in proper use. I imagine cattle prods & shock collars are probably similar to using a TENs unit, but I do not have any personal experience with either.
Have you ever heard of the term pervertable? And if you have, could you tell the new people to the scene what it means?
 A pervertable is a vanilla item that can be used as a kink item. I have a pair of paper holders, I suppose they were intended to hold phone messages or something like that- alligator clips on a spiral of wire attached to a weighted base. Since I use them to clip nipples, we could say that they are a pervertable. A feather duster is a pervertable, a leather belt is a pervertable. There is a song from a kid show that's name is escaping me that features a song called "Anything Can Be a Bookmark" and the lyrics go on to suggest you can use all sorts of things including your grandma as a bookmark. It's quite silly, but just as anything can be a bookmark, anything can be a pervertable. 

For newbies among us. Is there a difference between Femdomme and serving a Mistress?

There is or there isn't based on what the terms mean to the person using them. A Mistress may or may not be a professional Mistress, a Femdomme may or may not be a professional Domme/Dominatrix. One might serve, see or session with either or with a woman who identifies herself as one or the other. Femdomme sometimes means dommes who enjoy a female supremacy style of sessioning.

What is a Findomme, is it a fetish with fish, or a preference to dommes from Finland? ;)

Edit: I remember when I was responding to this Q&A with slave allan. I was in an incredibly cranky mood. I think that contributed to the less than complete response here. A findomme is also a specific fetish. From what I understand as it is not really a type of play I engage in, it is typically strictly about an exchange of money or gifts. The sub enjoys gifting, indulging, perhaps providing for his dominant and his dominant enjoys receiving. But it is also, incorrectly I might add, used as I described below. /End edit 

A Findomme is an (IMO) stupid word someone coined to described a professional dominant woman, aka a woman who charges you to beat your ass. While some women seem to embrace the term, and that's their prerogative, I find it silly at best. Forevermore I'm going to think of a Finish Domme with a Fish thanks to your question. I prefer the term professional, and the average person shouldn't have such a difficult time understanding that professional means one who is compensated for their service. But yet every day I encounter a new newbie who has to have that explained to him, who then often tosses an "Oh you're just a Findomme then and it's all about the money for you" at me. It's late now, I am overtired we may edit this before publication. But you touched a pet peeve of mine. Does the average dude believe that they can contact a stranger, include a dick pic and ask her to truss him up like the Christmas goose and light his ass on fire and that the average woman is going to jump at such a glorious opportunity? And if the average dude knows women who would, he should contact those women & not me. It is not "all about the money", what a ridiculous accusation; but I know of no one who loves their job so much that they do it for strangers for free. I love what I do as much if not more than any of my friends seem to love their job, it is completely reasonable that one of the reasons I love it is because I am compensated very well to do it.  ( I am pleased to say that slave allan was not punished for making Mistress think of a Finish domme with a fish)

What would you say was the most interesting thing you ever did to a sub with ice.
 The most interesting things I have done with ice specifically have been during my personal time not during a session. I have a bit of a thing for ice, I think I forgot to mention that a few Q&As back when you asked about my fetishes. I guess I have done a thing or two with ice in sessions that I suppose is interesting in their own right. I will use ice and my hot stones during a sensory scene.  I have slipped ice into the plastic-wrapped subbie burrito. I have fed bound subs ice when they seem to be overheating. 


I don't know if you're a cold weather girl? Have you ever done an outside winter scene with a sub?
 I am very much a cold weather woman. Also don't refer to me as a girl again. If I opt to on occasion that is my prerogative; you will remember I am an adult, your superior and your owner. I have not actually done any outdoor winter scenes. While I love outdoor play, it is especially challenging. I think it is in very poor taste to expose others who have not consented to be part of your scene to session activities, even if one is very covert about it. Finding a place that one can reasonably expect will be free from mundane by-standers is a challenge on its own, finding an accessible spot in poor weather is more so. 

(I am very sorry Mistress, for displeasing you by me referring to you as a girl)

Other than the obvious, is there very much difference between a male and female session?Truthfully I have not had a session with an AFAB (assigned female at birth) woman professionally. I have had a limited number of couples session with me over the years. In my experiences with couples, it has been that the male partner was the primary submissive and the female partner either wished to learn a specific skill and/or wished to witness her partner's session. So even in my experience with couples, I have not really played with a female submissive professionally. Women, in my experience, do not seek professional scenes. I am sure the biggest reason for that is women seldom have a hard time finding a partner who will say that they will accommodate their interests. Which I think is in a way unfortunate, and likely leads to submissive women having much less than ideal experiences with partners of various skill levels before finding a skilled partner that they also connect with.  I wish that more women viewed their fantasy life in the same light they view their other personal needs. I don't think anyone would consider seeing a professional masseuse, for example, inappropriate while in a relationship with someone capable of rubbing their shoulders. While a massage is an intimate experience, no one would think if it as cheating or straying to see a professional when one needs the skill level of a professional.On your FetLife profile, you have pictures of some custom made collars. How would an individual be able to acquire one?

 Those are collars made by Master Paine, who I have mentioned a few times here. If one was interested in a custom collar or other leather piece, they should let me know & I will relay the information. Master Paine has a vanilla life too and I am not at liberty to give his contact info to strangers. 
Post editting note: Master Paine has now, finally, set-up a Fetlife profile. He can be found their under the handle "MisterPeterPain". 
  This is a shout out for Kinky Social at http://www.kinky-social.com/user/MistressCassidy  Are you enjoying the site?

I am. I love Fetlife, I have been a member there for many years. But right now on Kinky-Social, as a new site, it is pretty quiet when I visit. If I want to post a blog entry or comment on another's post I can do so without being interrupted by private messages. I am certain that soon enough that will change as the site gains momentum, but for now, I will enjoy the quietness.What is the name of your website again, for a first-time fan? 
cassidycream.comOnce again it has been a pleasure having Mistress Cassidy enlighten us with her knowledge of BDSM. Please make a point of visiting her profile on both Kinky Social and FetLife and say hello. Just remember, if you wish for Mistress to continue contacting you please always be polite and respectful and that will help. I am leaving Mistress's studio almost unscathed today. I must never refer to Mistress with anything less than a woman. Not with a girl, never never again. If anyone has any ideas for future topics, please let Mistress Cassidy know, and if you ask nicely enough she might put you in contact with me, so I can include your query in a future Q and A. 

Monday: May 8th 2017

It's a week into May, and so far, it's getting a mixed review from me. While it hasn't been utterly dead in the studio, it has been slower than I would like. I have been clicking away at the keyboard. I've made steady and significant progress on several projects, but I haven't completed one yet. The garden is exploding with flowers from all the rain, while the riding ring  is ankle deep mud. Over all I suppose all is well, but there is definitely room for improvement. 

Let's get on with the list. 

• New Toys: It's been a few weeks since I mentioned picking this up, I finally had a chance to try it out. (The picture will be at the bottom. I can't seem to post it here without messing up the formatting.) It's the pink seat bouncy seat with a built in, vibrating, oh I hate to be vulgar but I'm at a loss for a delicate term for it. The pink seat with the big vibrating cock. There just say it and move on. It came from Love Honey, which you will find the link to right over there----> on the sidebar, and if you order through that link I will get a little commission. I forget the exact price, but it was under $40 and my order qualified for free shipping. The shipping was lightning fast, and the packaging was completely discreet. Just another big brown box like my mail carrier is use to dropping on my doorstep every few days. It has to be blown up of course, I don't know if you could affix a bicycle pump to the valve. I know if you are me you can hand it off to a slutty sissy submissive (try saying that 3 times fast), and promise them they can be the first to try it out if they blow it up. I think most ladies would find the toy to be a great size, and the range of vibration to be pretty standard. My slutty sissy submissives though will probably think it looks a bit too small and then find it is actually a bit too big when they try to use it. Covered with latex and plenty of lube, with patience it'll fit.Because it's a seat, and we had it set up on the floor, gravity wanted to challenge patience and have it slide home faster. Setting it up on the edge of a bed may make it easier to use, and I suspect for taller than average subs, it would be much more comfortable on a surface higher than the floor. I'm very happy with the purchase. There are certainly better, oh here we go again with the vulgarity, there are better fucking machines on the market. They sell for significantly more than $40 bucks. This was inexpensive, seems very durable, and it is easy to clean. If one doesn't have a private playroom where one can display big pink cocks on a bouncy chair, inflating and deflating for storing after each use might become a pain in the ass. But in my studio it can sit right in the middle of my toy room. 
• Nails & Toes: They're naked again. I have a professional mani & pedi scheduled later this week. 
• New Projects: I believe I will be unveiling the project I've been fine-tuning this week. The next entry should be the big announcement and I think the next entry will be on Wednesday. Another project that really needs to go on the To Do List, is creating an email sign-up gadget. Then you'd be notified whenever there was a new post or project. 
• Looking Forward To (Scene): I believe I am going to do a double Mistress scene with a very good friend, a talented life style player I've been trying to convince to join me in sessions for years, later in the month. For now it is a one time engagement, but my fingers are crossed that she'll love it and regularly join me in the dungeon. 
• Looking Forward To (Vanilla): Things are relatively quiet in my vanilla life. It's almost, but not quite time to schedule the first camping trip of the season. Almost but not quite time to open the pool for the summer. 

And there it is in all it's vulgar glory. 

Tuesday is the New Monday

What's better than any Monday? A Monday that also happens to be the first of a new month! If Monday is a new notebook, with infinite possibilities; a month starting on a Monday is a new Trapper Keeper with matching folders. Mistress is a bit of a dork, I am OK with this. You should be too or you should look for a new dominant to follow and/or serve. 

• New Toys: If I'm not mistaken this will be the third time I type, no new toys lately. It's almost like my wishlist isn't posted on my website & my subbies don't know what I need. 
• Nail & toe polish: Completely naked on both fronts. I've been in the garden or the stable every moment it hasn't been raining. A deep moisturizing session is in order before fresh paint. 
• New Projects: Steady progress is being made on the as yet unrevealed new project. I'm hoping it will be ready for sharing in the next week or so...hold your breath for me, it may make me work faster. Oh OK that's a fib, but it will amuse me if you turn blue like a smurf for a minute or two.
• Ebook Updates: Progress here! Yay! My muse started singing and I banged out another few pages and edited what was done previously. I'm going to remove my self-imposed deadline here. It was intended to motivate me, it failed.The ideas come when the ideas come, forcing it when it's just not happening makes it sound awkward and labored.  
• Looking forward to (scene): I have a couple of old friends stopping in the studio over the next few days. Looking forward to some extended scenes. There's also a couple of rough draft entries awaiting tidying up & posting here. Watch for them. 
• Looking forward to (vanilla): We can probably just always assume that this space will contain the words horse, garden in some combination until summer. At that time it will be edited to say horse, garden, pool, beach. 

These are a few of my favorite things...

Two of my very favorite things are Mondays and lists.
I read an article 20 or more years ago that said a disproportional percentage of people die on Mondays. The author speculated this was because a disproportionate number of people hate their jobs. It's been a long time, I don't recall fact checking the article. Maybe it was all hokum, but it stuck with me all the same. It seems like it could be true. Mondays have always been my favorite day of the week. I vowed to never work a job that I hate and ruin the best day of the week by dying on it some day while stuck in traffic.
Mondays are the best day of the week because it's a new start. Whatever went wrong last week is over, on Monday there is the potential for every thing to go perfectly. Monday is a new notebook and a freshly sharpen pencil.
Which brings me to one of my other favorite things. Lists. I love lists. I am mildly OCD. At the start of the day I find my list reassuring. This is what I am going to do, and I am prepared to do it. At the end of the day my list with a column of neat little checks is a reward. Even items that don't have a check, items that didn't get competed, they're no big deal. There they are ready to be transposed to tomorrow's list. Without a list those items would bounce around in my thoughts and keep me from sleeping until they were completed.
All of this was to say I have a new idea for this blog, an idea that combines my favorite things, a Monday List. Each Monday I will post a list of what's going on in the studio. So without further ado, the first Monday List.

• Available Days: Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday
• New toys: Pink bouncy seat that I believe I have posted a picture of recently
• New Projects: Mistress is starting an ebook tentative release date May 1st
• Looking forward to (scene): a session with a subbie that first contacted me over a decade ago, but was unable to follow through at the time. 
• Looking forward to (vanilla): Trail time with my pony :)