Q&A: Dungeons

slave allan asked: You mentioned your desire to have another dungeon in Richmond, Virginia. Would you describe your vision for this dungeon? Also if a reader would like to help with the dungeon, is there anything you would like in particular? 


There was a spelling error in your question allan, please be more attentive. Otherwise, perfect timing for this question. I am once again pro-actively looking for a permanent play space in Richmond. When the timeline didn't work out quite how I had planned for the first two months here, I had to make some adjustments to my plans. The condo my friend made available to me has been the perfect spot for contemplating my navel, regrouping after the drastic changes the past year has seen and planning what comes next. It is less than the perfect place for hosting BDSM sessions. 

I have finished the period of contemplation.
My vision is an attached garage. Attached is preferred to stand alone as I would rather not to have subs trekking across the backyard to reach the restroom. That is one of my only complaints about Safe Haven, that there wasn't a restroom in the space. A typical garage has the things I need, and is the right size. I need structure strong enough to attach hard points. Hard point, a hook or other tie off spot that can support the weight of an adult. At Safe Haven there is a simple, heavy duty chain hanging from the hard point. While it does its job, and one can clip off anywhere along the chain to accommodate people of any height, Mistress is tired of climbing a step ladder in heels. My space will have a pulley system. A pulley system will also allow for a sub to be restrained by his feet if I prefer. Short of having a sub stand on his head, I could not do that with the static chain at Safe Haven. I am all about inversion lately. There's an inversion table on my wishlist, and if a generous subbie doesn't bestow one on me soon, I do think it is going to be my Christmas present to myself.  I need a space that won't be damaged by having dozens of tie of spots along the walls & floors. My dungeon in Taunton had dozens of spots along the baseboard, a perk of being the home owner, I could make holes in the baseboard. I have missed those in the spaces I have utilized over the past 10 years. 
My vision for this space is cozy, warm and rustic. I want to hear the rain of the roof when I session on stormy days. I want it to be dark and cool, in August. 
One of my celebrity crushes is Alton Brown. He's smart, a little sadistic (have you watched Cut Throat Kitchen?) and he can cook, be still my heart. Anyway, back on Good Eats, he had great disdain for items he called uni-taskers. I too strongly dislike things that take up space and can only do one job. My space has to be a multitasker like me. It will be my space to record and broadcast from, and it will lend itself to photo shoots. It is my intention to make it available on Kink B&B (yes, that's a thing! How cool is that?) when I am in New England.  It will be a cozy space for small parties. And as I network here, I will make the space available to other professionals and players in the scene. 
There are several ways friends and fans can contribute if they wish. I have mentioned before that many of my pieces were destroyed while in storage when we moved from Virginia back to Massachusetts. The pieces acquired more recently were either co-owned with or belong to my ex. In an effort to minimize conflict, I relinquished any claim to co-owned items. I am reinvesting as quickly as I can in my own collection, but between moving, and my vanilla responsibilities, my savings and budget are screaming their safe words and begging me to have mercy.  So if you see a piece on my wishlist that you would love to explore with me, I will show my gratitude with an experience you will never forget. When the space is found, the goal is to start the New Year in this new space, I will need help with moving. There will be hardware to install, and heavy things to lift; I am not a damsel but these are skills not in my wheelhouse. Returning to Massachusetts for a visit, as I have tried to plan too many times now, would quiet my savings and budget quite nicely, and one can contribute to that here.  In the spring I will also need a hand in Massachusetts packing what is left of my belongings. As always though, friends support their friends' projects. The best way to do that is to comment, share, and echo my promotions where ever it is appropriate and safe for you to do so. 

Tuesday Q&A: Watch Me

Just a little off but not behind schedule this week. I can't be behind, Thursday's post already exists. I must be off though, here it is Tuesday and I am sitting at the keys. This will post today. I think I have shared my approach before, I prefer writing the week's posts on Sundays and scheduling them to post on the appropriate days. It gives me a chance to let my thoughts sit for a minute, then check for typos and edit before it goes live. There is a perk to same day posts though, they're just completely off the cuff so I am far less inclined to self-censor. I know you're laughing, you're saying she doesn't self-censor. I do, trust me, things infinitely more outrageous than what makes it to print float through my thoughts constantly. 

I think this post will lend itself really well to off the cuff, uncensored me. I think before I am done I am going to add an outrageously inappropriate for public photo to it, hit save and live with the consequences. It's Tuesday, the most muggle day of the week. Let's get in trouble. 

The idea for the post has been floating around for a week or two. There's a rough outline in my rough outline notebook. I have explained before how Q&A Tuesdays work. I have explained my ocd before, Tuesdays are for Q&As. I forgot to ask allan for questions again. I forgot to tell him to make it a standing order, questions every week allan by Friday. There check that off the To Do List. So I asked allan for questions on Saturday I think. He followed directions, he typically does. I didn't give him a theme, just send anything. He sent 3 great questions, that completely do not fit this week's agenda. But my ocd says that Tuesdays are for questions, preferably questions asked by slave allan. Although for the record if my followers wished to ask me a question, I'd be happy to add them to a Tuesday post. I'm going to answer a question allan asked in an email that he intended to be answered for him. 

The question was; is it appropriate for me to watch your broadcasts on Chaturbate I am your slave, should I see you this way? Let's expand this to fit here. 

Mistress Cassidy, I sessioned with you in 20**, I moved away, should I watch you?

Mistress I haven't seen you irl yet, but I intend to, should I watch you?

Cassidy we use to work parties together, should I watch you? 

Cassidy we go to the same parties, should I watch you?

Denise, we went to high school together, should I watch you? 

Denise- Cassidy, which do you prefer now? I am your BFF, should I watch you?

Well, are you my friend? Do you want to be? Are you cool? Is this one of my current projects? What do the cool people do? They support their friends projects. I feel like I have said this once or twice.  If you are awake at midnight I would love for you to come hang out with me while I broadcast. 

Why should you? Well aren't I the most charming person you know? Don't you want to spend time with me? More seriously, I am trying to build a following. The hours I am available to broadcast are not the busiest hours on the site. The number of people hanging out in a room is one of the factors that determines where one's room is shown on the list of broadcasters to choose from.  My public broadcasts are very conservative compared to other broadcasters. Viewers on Chaturbate can view and message broadcasters for free with or without signing up as a member. I save the most risque parts of my broadcasts for private shows when viewers pay for them.  One of things that keeps a viewer in your room, improving the probability that they will choose to engage in a private show, is how well the broadcaster is engaging with her followers. If my room is packed with my friends, it will be engaging. 

 

What will you see if you come hang out? You will see me start off the night looking pretty, I hope, with fresh make-up and my hair done. You'll see me being flirty. Which I think mostly looks silly. You'll probably see me roll my eyes at some of the screen names and pick up lines the muggles use. You'll hear me say no, a lot. You may hear me negotiate a private session, it may include some adult language but that is more commonly done in private messages. You may hear me retell stories you have heard before, and I bet a bunch that you have not. You may hear me tell a story about you, I promise I will protect your privacy and I assure you I only share stories that are happy memories. You will probably be flattered. You may see flashes of nudity.  You'll hear my favorite songs. You may see me quite enjoy myself, but not quite thoroughly enjoy myself. I save that for private sessions. I will duck out occasionally for private sessions as they happen. If you're so inclined, there's an option to spy on private sessions for a fee. For what it is worth, people spying on private shows are anonymous. Unless I happen to notice that the tip counter is moving at a rate reflecting that there additional viewers, I will not even know that someone is watching, I definitely won't know that it is you watching. Know how much time I spend worried about who spied on my shows? Exactly zero seconds. Watch me, I like an audience. I do not engage in anything, anywhere, that I wouldn't smile to know that every adult on the planet signed in to see and enjoyed. And when I come back from a private or at the end of the night, you may see me look tired, but quite satisfied. 

Tuesday Q&A: The Things I Love

By now if we have been listening to Mistress, we know Mistress enjoys  her floggers. In my opinion, Mistress Cassidy is an artist with them. That being said, Mistress may I ask what would be your next favorite thing to do in your dungeon? 


As many times as I have been asked what I enjoy most over the years, (to give you an idea of how many times that is, I've been asked twice this week not including being asked by allan) I have no go-to, stock reply. I love everything I do. Well except writing ads and screening new clients. Aside from ads and screening, I love every single thing I do. 
My job is the best job on the planet. I get to hear people's secrets. I get to see people be their most authentic self. Sometimes I help them come to terms with that. In a sense I am acting out my own fantasies. Do I have to remind you my fantasies have little to do with bumping and grinding? Someone who has known me since I was a child said to me the other day that I was always the save the world type. I am so arrogant, and I was so flattered by the observation, but my hubris is not quite that big. I am not saving the world, but sometimes I think I might be helping some clients save themselves. Sometimes my 'cross-dressing' clients are taking their first step towards coming out as trans. Sometimes my clients disclose to me the trauma they have carried their whole lives. Sometimes I see widows, who are lost without their partner. Sometimes I just smack people around who I suspect actually do deserve it.  As a child the things I pretended I might be some day were a mommy, a teacher, a dancer, a circus performer, a writer, and a therapist. For real, I had the couch for it and everything. My approach to being a dominatrix, let's me be all of those things and more. I get to play dress-up. I get to use my imagination. Every session is a new playmate who contributes to how this round of make believe will unfold. They seldom unfold in a predictable manner, there is almost always a plot twist. No one talks to me about the weather. In Massachusetts, that in and of itself makes professional domination the best job in the state. 
It is 2:30 in the morning. I love writing at this time of day. I love doing anything at this time of day. It does seem to cause me to be even more verbose than my already talkative self. There must be 300 words there, and I haven't answered the question. 
Let's try again, I have insomnia. 
I love tickling scenes. I don't see nearly enough tickle enthusiasts. When I find the right rhythm of switching back and forth between tickling and a little pain infliction, I can get a sub in such a frenzied state that just placing a finger tip on them makes them jump. I love that. I love paddling scenes. I might lay out a half a dozen implements, then ask the sub to look at them. I watch their face as they do. Which one makes their eyes go big? I love working on two subs at once. It is such a rare treat, but I had it just the other day. I warmed them both up with some playful, light flogging done to- this is so goofy, but it was so much fun, done to Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews singing Supercalifragiliisticexpialidious (even with Google helping I think there's a typo in there). Mary Poppins transitioned into White Zombie, and I asked each of them to watch me work the other so they might know what's in store for them next. They both whimpered for me. One spontaneously thanked me with each blow, and the other kept insisting she needed more spankies. I loved every single second of that scene.  I love CBT, which here does not mean cognitive behavior therapy, or maybe it does. The bottoms who ask for that are often very masculine in a traditional sense. My first ever CBT scene was on a man who was in the military. He stood at attention and said thank you Ma'am may I have another each time my knee connected.  I was mesmerized by the rainbow of colors his face shifted through, red, maroon, purple, and then quite alarmingly he went pale. He was OK, he was very experienced in this play and was absolutely aware that I was not at the time.  I love when I pull off nipple clamps and a sub mistakenly thinks they are getting relief. For those not experienced in extreme nipple play, the worst of the pain comes when the blood flows back in, think about when your foot falls asleep, it is like that. If a really cruel Mistress was to also tweak them around at that moment, a sub might just drop to his knees. I love when a sub drops to their knees. I love sensory deprivation and overload. I love the way a securely blindfolded sub will start to whip their head back & forth when I have created the illusion by soundlessly moving around them that maybe there are two people touching them now.  I love trampling. It is the only thing I offer that I feel poses a little risk to me. Standing on a live human, sometimes in high heels, and then walking on a shifting platform is exhilarating. I am very cautious with how I arrange for those scenes, but often as they unfold I find myself wanting to take small risks. I'll start to sway a little to the music, I might bounce and jump a little, and I often find myself laughing in these scenes. Laughing while standing on a human's barrel shaped chest is kind of scary, but I love that too. I love foot worship. It is the only flesh I allow subs to touch.  It is a firm boundary, one I have no interest in pushing or altering, that I do not allow "body worship" in my sessions. Some providers do, and I do not judge them for it; but it would not be pleasurable for me. Yet, I do need some intimacy in my scenes. I need to feel a connection. My feet are incredibly sensitive. Allowing a submissive to put their hands on my feet let's me feel some reciprocity in our scene but stays within my comfort zone.
I love keeping this blog. I am an exhibitionist. Do you want to see my everything? Well you can't. You probably can't. Well if you google the right combo of words maybe you can. Go, try, tell me what you find.  Today, you can not see my current everything. That level of exposure isn't enough for me anymore. Today you can see more than that, you can see my thoughts. Did we forget that I am also an ego-maniac? I am, and there will be no apologies. I love my thoughts. I love checking my blog stats and seeing that every post I share, the number of people who read not only the current post but all of my posts goes up. Sometimes it's just by a few readers, sometimes it's by a lot. You like reading my thoughts. You dirty, dirty voyeurs. I love voyeurs.  

Little Late: Tuesday Q&A with slave allan

Typically I try to write my posts on Sundays. They'll sit waiting for a last spellcheck and edit until the night before they're scheduled to post, but they're written ahead of time. This weekend was so full, and the start of this week has been more of the same, that I am all off schedule. Tuesday at 8:15p and I am starting from scratch. I didn't even remember to assign slave allan to come up with a question until like 4 in the morning today or last night. I hadn't slept yet, so it must still have been last night. So don't bother looking for typos, if there are any they'll be mine. If you correct me on my blog I'll poke you with a stick, and not in a way you'd like. 

I need another vacation stat

On to the question. 

slave allan: I have become friends with one of the male dom
members of our local community group on FetLife. He has since invited me to stop by and  visit. I should mention this is not a play visit. If you were to give your slave permission to go, how should I conduct myself? Should I be casual as if I am talking with an old friend? Or do I remain submissive, using proper titles and sub etiquette?

I would like you to pm me the person's Fetlife handle slave. I have every intention of giving you permission to meet with him, but I would like an opportunity to see who my slave is interacting with in the scene. I'll be curious to hear if your opinions of him post meeting match whatever opinions I may form checking out his profile. 

It is my opinion that you should exhibit the best manners that are appropriate for your vanilla community when meeting people in the scene if you do not have a dynamic or contractual obligation to do otherwise. You should address him by any name he invites you to use, as he should address you. If this were a meeting at a community event it may be appropriate to introduce yourself as Mistress Cassidy's slave allan. If it were a community event where this person was conducting a class, performing or the host, it would likely be appropriate to call him Mr. So & So. But a casual meeting in a person's home or at a munch simply requires that one use standard manners. Introduce yourself as allan. If he asks that you call him by a title, do so because you are in his home but know when you leave his home that you are welcome and encouraged to roll your eyes about it. Unless it is the cultural norm in your location to call people a title, it is not appropriate of a top to ask a submissive that is not theirs to call them a title in my not so humble opinion. Here in Massachusetts the norm in and out of the scene would be using first names. Many people are actually insulted if you call them ma'am or sir. It is assumed to be sarcastic. In some parts of the south, and near military bases, sir and ma'am are appropriate in vanilla settings, and therefor appropriate in scene settings too. If it is the norm when visiting a friend to bring a hostess gift, to shake hands, to air kiss, whatever- you should do those things in a scene setting too; but there is no need to do more simply because it is a get together of a couple of people who enjoy kink.  

VIRTUAL SPACES:
email: cassidycream15@gmail.com

Fetlife:MistressCassidyTwitter: Cassidy Cream
Insta: Cassidy Cream
Snap: cassidycream
KIK: Mistresscassidycream
Airtightlifestyle.com: Mistress Cassidy
Blog:
https://mistresscassidycreamsmusings.blogspot.com/

Tuesday Q & A with Slave allan

My OCD feels that we should assign a specific day to be Q & A day. My awareness of my schedule suggests this will prove to be a silly idea. But let's try anyway. What day? Monday is my most favorite day of the week. Monday is for list making, and starting new projects. Mondays are for my thoughts. Monday will not be the day. Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week. It's a muggle day, very little probability of magic on a Tuesday. Wednesday is the first day of the weekend. Packing typically happens on Wednesday. Thursday is for travel. Friday and Saturday are for parties. Sunday, also know as Pre-Monday, is for aftercare, reflecting on a great week and preparing for Monday. I see it, let's try to elevate poor Tuesday. Tuesday will be for questions with slave allan. Just created the auto-post for this entry, this Tuesday is the last day of July. My quirky tendencies are happy with this, and to give it a little magic boost to kick off I scheduled it to post at 11:11. Make a wish, you're welcome.   
The last Q&A slave allan sent me had 3 questions. You'll notice there is only one here. slave allan is great at coming up with ideas for questions but they don't always fit my style or what I want to focus on at the time. Note to self: give allan some clearer directions for how to choose topics. 

slave allan: It's summertime let's daydream a bit. You have collared your dream
slave. You want to escape with said slave to have your way with him or her as you start their training. Where did you escape to and what isinvolved in that slave's training? 

Mistress Cassidy: There you go again slave allan- suppose you could do anything you wanted, anywhere you wanted, what work would you want to do? I'm mostly teasing, but being a top to a real human is an investment of time and energy. It is work. Work I love, work that I identify as my calling, but it is work nonetheless. Even when we move past the blurry lines between what I do for a living and what I do in my personal dynamics, even when we are firmly in the this is my personal dynamic realm, it is still a position I take seriously. A new slave (and for the record in my personal life one who identifies as a slave would not likely be terribly compatible with me. I require my partner level playmates to have opinions, to have personality, to embrace their submission and to proactively wish to give it to me) back on track, no matter how dreamy this bottom may be, a new playmate and vacation do not really go together in my mind. I do not have my way with my subs privately or professionally. Ideally I have their way in a way that I very much enjoy. The getting to know a sub happens long before I offer them my collar, especially in a personal dynamic.   

Let's take this in another direction entirely. At this time I am more or less single. I have no interest in vanilla dating and no interest in a new personal dynamic with males. I wish to be vanilla-single for the foreseeable future. Before this current round of singleness, I have been single for a grand total of 20 months since I was 13. Nineteen months of which happened in 2000-2001 when my other adult relationship of much significance ended.There are things I wish to do, goals I have set and ideas I want to explore for myself, by myself. Yet as into me as I intend to be, I am as far as I know, human. I do enjoy the company of other adult humans and from time to time, and I may require a bit more than their conversation. So let's try describe the person I would wish to spend time with while I explore my singleness. I would like to meet a submissive or more bottom-than-top switch of a woman. They would enjoy being pampered as much as they enjoyed serving. They would have a moderate to heavy pain tolerance or being willing to build to one. Articulate, and verbose, but equally able to be quiet & listen. Self-confidence that borders or ever so gently crosses the line into arrogant. I have a weakness for arrogance, it must be reality based and it must be slight, but I do enjoy someone who knows they are special. Independent, self-sufficient but maybe cling just a little bit during a thunderstorm or scary movie. It would probably be best if she currently or has ever worked in the adult industry and that it was a positive experience for her. I am so over explaining to other feminist in the vanilla world that I am not exploited, that I love what I do, that the adult industry has been liberating, empowering and wonderful to me. It would be best if we were on the same page in that area. I like indulging kittens, puppies, little/middles, but my preference is a princess like myself. I'll sound so narcissistic saying this, but the more a person reminds me of myself the more attractive I tend to find them. They should identify as poly/non-mono, but truthfully I would probably prefer that they not have another relationship of significance. I do not mean to sound selfish, but I am newly navigating poly myself. The first year didn't quite unfold as I had anticipated and I just don't have the patience for ever expanding rings of partners and partners of partners. I am over the never ending let's talk about our feelings, again. Oh did that read like I feel exploring polyamory was a mistake? That isn't what I meant. It should have conveyed that while I am certain that I am 'poly' I am equally certain that I am meant to be mostly single while I learn what style of non-monogamy is right for me. Casually dating others, while able to demonstrate that they value their safety and health as much as I value my own, would work for me. A schedule that somehow matches my own bizarre schedule that completely lacks rhyme or reason so that we may spend a day together often and an occasional weekend away. 
Now to try to bring it back to your questions allan; once I got to know my new princess, when I knew if she liked exhibitionist play (I do hope she does), when I knew if thuddy or stingy was her preference, and when I knew all the spots that bring her to her knees, I'd put a sparkly collar on my prize and bring her anywhere in the world she wished to go. 

Be sure to check out slave allan's blog too: https://slaveallan68.blogspot.com/2018/07/i-wager.html

slave allan can't stay away- Q&A returns to Mistress's Blog

1: You recently mentioned wanting to create an RV dungeon. I do have to apologize though. My first mental images were that of Walter White standing in his underwear next to his RV on Breaking Bad.

Or Robin Williams misadventure in his movie called RV, when I first read your idea. So for clarification purposes, would you describe for us what Mistress's RV dungeon would look like to you? 

lolz allan, that was a great opening for a series though wasn't it? So, I have only the roughest ideas of what the RV should look like. I had a cute little tow behind vintage Scotty for ages, don't ask what became of it, it's a scary story.

Anyway, I have a thing for vintage campers and RVs. I'm not afraid of driving something old enough to buy itself a drink. I trust the universe will put the right unit in my path at the right time, and I will do my best to be patient (god damn that's so hard for me) in the meantime. When the right one finds its way to me the right vibe for the dungeon will make itself known too. What I do have imagined in technicolor detail is what this adventure is going to look like, and how it is going to work, and I am so super excited about it, I'm going to act like that's what you asked and ramble on about it.

I haven’t announced any of this on my blog yet, have I? Well either this is the announcement or I'm going to have to scramble & write that post before scheduling this one. Mistress is going to become a Gypsy (I so love that word; please forgive me I know it's less than PC to use) Dominatrix. Surprise!

For now, Massachusetts is going to remain my primary residence, and I am going to continue to run the dungeon for Princess Gemini Enterprises. When the time comes I will work out a schedule with Princess that will probably be something like our first and second Friday of the month parties and 2 of our mid-week, Purgatory at Platforms, parties.  I've also just begun, this Thursday is the first, hosting my own small gatherings at Safe Haven. This Thursday is a foot worshiping party, the next one planned will be announced soon. Anyway, assuming those come together as expected, I will continue to host 2 of those during the weeks I am in Massachusetts. I've also got one more idea that I was about to unveil soon, might as well do it now. I am going to start hosting an Aftercare Potluck one Sunday a month. I'm picturing not quite a munch and totally not a party get together.  No cover for anyone who has attended a Princess Gemini, Safe Haven, or Twizted Acre event within the previous month or anyone who is a regular submissive of mine, low donation for new friends. This will be my event, I am simply extending the offer to guests of those venues because I love the guests at those venues. I'm picturing barbecues, tapping friends who offer Reiki & other forms of bodywork, and I'll offer guided meditation and/or hypnosis. I'm picturing just a casual networking and community building event that brings local kinksters together. So Princess Gemini parties, Thursday parties, Aftercare Potluck, of course, I will visit Twizted when I am home, and I will see my local submissives while I am home. I'll also spend time with my vanilla people, eating the best seafood in the US and riding my pony while I'm home.

But who cares what I will do when I am home? The exciting part is the part when I am not home! My current goal is to head out the first week of July. I was hoping for sooner, I was hoping for last week, but apparently things take time and patience. Whatever, Mistress has neither of those and I don't see the value in acquiring them. The first trip will be local, a week up to Maine to spend time with my family and to test the roadworthiness of the RV. I will probably not offer sessions during that trip. Then Virginia!!! My last trip was just not long enough at all. Two weeks this time, at least! I couldn’t make it down to take care of my Baby Boy I mentioned in the post about BDSM & Sex recently, and I have so much guilt over that, I am working on a special idea for him when I do make it down. Maybe if you ask nicely he'll consent to sharing pictures. I'm hoping my Hazey will be able to make this trip with me. She works just as hard as Mistress behind the scenes to keep my world spinning smoothly, she deserves an amazing adventure too. While I will obviously see new-to-me submissives in Virginia, I will be carefully screening for long-term compatibility, Richmond will be a frequent stop for me and having my needs met while I am there is, of course, a priority. There may be an adventure within an adventure with a side trip to see my top, but that's none of your business nosy little voyeurs. I am planning, preparing and budgeting for 6 months of travelling. If there are unexpected bumps in the beginning I want to stick it out at least that long to see if the bumps have solutions. If it smooth sailing and as magical as I imagine it will be, I am thinking this might be what the next couple years of my life looks like. The stops during those months will likely be Maine, Ohio, Virginia Beach, Richmond, VA, Western Virginia (not West Virginia, Mistress has no friends in WV at this time send an application if you'd like to be a WV friend lol), North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Austin, Texas. There was also a hope that I would make it to Toronto this summer, but sadly I think that may need to be penciled in for Spring of 2019.

2: Staying with the same theme. If money was not a factor. What would Mistress's RV dungeon be like. Would you remodel a 53-foot truck and trailer to build your dungeon in? Or go for a bus style Motor Coach to be your workspace?

Who said money was a factor now? Money is a resource and a tool, and there is an incredible abundance of it in the universe. While I don't happen to be in possession of very much of it at this moment, when I need it I can find it. My dream space would be a collection of cottages in quiet settings around the country in the places I love.

My OCD would like them all to be nearly identical, with duplicates of my gear and costumes in each so I don't have to pack & schlep them around. I would spend whatever season I like best in that location and move to the next when the whim struck me. I would skip the RV entirely in this fantasy and travel in a different fashion between each. A train when moving between ones that had mountains along the route, a boat to an island getaway, etc.

I've edited the last question from the original conversation between slave allan and I. I didn't love the way it read and even with repeated editing it just wouldn't flow smoothly. Mistress is in a little bit of a funk, and that is probably playing a part in my inability to edit for smoothness. The RV I was so looking forward to seeing this past weekend is most definitely not The One. It's OK, I trust the universe will bring me the best & right one at the right time, but truly patience is not a particularly defining characteristic of mine.  

Really Cool Questions

Yesterday I posted something trivial about my dungeon on my personal Facebook account. A friend of mine from way back in grade school had some interesting questions based and it seemed like a great theme for a post...


1. What exactly happens in this dungeon? Alchemy, and magic. Well that's what I want to happen in my dungeon. Some sessions are, most aren't quite that cerebral. What exactly happens. Typically I arrive an hour before my scheduled session. I am about half transformed when I arrive, I finish getting into character (where going to come back to that term in a moment, I've already read through the questions) and set-up the dungeon for the scene in that hour. My client arrives, if they are a returning client there will be small talk, hugs, perhaps inquiries about their experience post-scene from their last scene. If they are a new-to-me client we will spend some time getting to know one another. I ask medical history questions. I explain how to use our safe words. I establish the boundaries for our time together, and I give them a chance to express their goals for our session. During this time I may answer questions about my gear, my experience with their kink, or how I would handle emergency situations. It surprises me that not every client asks those questions. Anyway, once those pleasantries are out of the way, the session begins. They're told to strip naked, and to leave their clothes in a specific manner. If they fail, they are told to do it over again. This is my thing, it's one of the few things in a session that is for my benefit. It's how I gauge how present they are. If their clothes wind up on a heap on the floor, it's probably nerves but they are clearly not all in and I won't have that. They will be given their instructions again and I will employ some tricks I know to insure their attention stays focused no matter how nervous they are. I may ask them to repeat back to me each thing I say to them. Or I may walk them through a breathing exercise. In any case I will not be ignored nor will I have a subbie smack their head off the beam in the ceiling because they were hyper focused on the tingly feeling in their privates. Each session is different, each sub has their own interests and the session does revolve around their interest. In no particular order I offer: tease & denial, CBT/NT (cock ball and nipple torture), sensory deprivation & overload, restraints, corporal punishment, impact play, piercings, cross-dressing, service training, etiquette training, chastity & key holding, adult baby/Little play, consensual/non-consent, fire play, puppy/kitten play, hypnosis, foot/shoe/stocking worship and probably a half a dozen things I am forgetting. There will be no more smoking fetish or human ashtray scenes though. There are a handful of things I only engage in with submissives I know well, like hard-core humiliation scenes and blood play. And there are a handful of common BDSM themes that I am just not into so they don't happen in my dungeon. When a scene is finished, I tend to my subs in whatever manner is appropriate, and typically we spend some time talking about the scene before they leave. If I have any reason to think that they are not ready to drive, I insist that they hang out longer & have a bite to eat or whatever until it seems they are back in their head properly.
2. Not judging, is this a vocation? Avocation? Both? People pay you? Yes, yes, yes and yes very well. At the risk of sounding silly, I do very much feel that this is my calling. I know a lot of people from all walks of life. The ones that I recognize as being the happiest are the ones that spend a significant amount of their free time doing what they do for a living. One of my best friends is a midwife, and an educator. When she isn't actively engaged in catching a baby or teaching her official students how to catch a baby, she's talking to someone about catching babies, about teaching, or about holding sacred space for women. She is on her best, right path, doing what she was called to do. I earn a living walking people through their fantasies, taking something that is in their head and turning it into something that happens in the flesh, in real life. When I am not doing this for a fee, I am here writing about it in my blog. I am encouraging my friends to pursue the thing that will make them happy (it's not always sexy fantasies that I walk people through). And when I have down time, private time, time for me, I am to the best of my ability turning my fantasies into realities.
3. U tie people up? Spank them? Mild torture for lack of a better term? Tie people up, yes. Spank them, among other things, yes. Mild torture, hmm. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes I wear gloves that go past my elbows and put down a painter's tarp. 4. Is there sex? There has to be some form of gratification, no? U dont get someone so worked up and then send them home do u? Oh DC, now I know you don't read my blog regularly. In my professional scenes there is no sex. At this time, in my private play dynamics, there is also no sex. I am certain my clients would tell you that they are satisfied. I often get people worked up and send them home. There are many ways gratification can manifest, and yes I totally know we are using code words here let's be blunt & vulgar instead. An orgasm isn't the only way to feel satisfied. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You also can't have an orgasm and also hold that precise moment before when every nerve ending in your body and every wire in your brain is vibrating and screaming this is the very best feeling that has ever been felt by anyone ever. Unless your top orders you to. Calling on that energy, and then intentionally harnessing it and redirecting it is it's own gratification for some.
5. How did u get into this? Go back to my first entry here. 6. Is it men? Women? Both? I see more men than women, but I see both. I also see people who identify as gender fluid, gender bending, non-binary and a host of other terms. And I work with couples.
7. Does it excite you or is it like a job? Your playing a role and when the play is over you come out of character?
It very much excites me, in the way someone who loves their job is excited by it. Again, you really should read the first post. I said in that entry, I do not turn up the volume to become Cassidy Cream, Cassidy Cream dials back the volume to pass as Denise in the real world. This is who I am, all the time.

8. Has it ever gone too far? By too far i mean someone hitting u back, sexual assault, someone stalking u?
I have never had a work situation go too far. I have never had a client actually or try to hit me, I have had incidental & accidental hits and kicks from a sub struggling in a session that I have agreed to allow this sort of play. I have worked in several professional vanilla gigs, there was far more inappropriate sexual contact & innuendo in those settings than there has been in 20 years as a dominatrix or the 10 years as a stripper before this. At parties, occasionally a newbie (or an asshole) doesn't know (or doesn't care) what the appropriate way to approach a woman might be. So in that setting yes, a random groping, swatting or off-color joke happens. But again, compared to going to a vanilla club for a night it's very minor & tame.

Guess Who's Back?

I do so love being me. At the moment I love that people never really leave my life. It's true in my personal life, and it is true in my professional life where subbies I haven't seen in a decade contact me to bring me gifts, or this one after only a few months because he really misses doing tasks for me.

Do we all remember slave allan, My Q&A prompter? Say hello and welcome him back to the fold. Let's not feed his ego too much, but Mistress was missing him & his typos whenever she sat at a blank screen claiming she was working. He remains a free agent, he is not wearing my collar at this time, but still he's a thoughtful creature and he wanted to lend me a hand. Thank you slave.

 Hi, Allan here. I served Mistress Cassidy faithfully for a year. I would still be wearing her collar, but personal reason prevented me from being able to continue that commitment. I may not serve Mistress Cassidy as a collared slave anymore, but that does not mean I do not continue to follow her on social media. So, when I read her post in her group on Fetlife asking for a guest post on her blog, something in me stirred (no not sexually) but a sense of obligation to Mistress Cassidy. You see it is because of Mistress Cassidy that I have found a new devotion. By having to keep a slave blog for Mistress Cassidy I discovered a passion to write. In fact, even since being released from my collar I continued to keep my two fictional stories alive. But during my freedom, I have been learning about earning money online. One driving reason is to find a revenue source that I can continue tributing Owner and possibly be collared once again. I realized this after reading the guest post from her LDR slave about his edging challenge and wished that it was me in that throbbing frustrated state. But back to earning money. I have discovered several websites that pay between $50 to $200 just for writing blogs or as they call it "content". I am about to start a series about my quest to earn money online and how I took the discipline I learned by being a slave and apply that to saving money and leaving it in the bank. I bet a lot of you reading this did not know that you could make money from apps that you can download onto your phone. I will be writing content for every app I try and will write my opinion on how profitable it is. Mistress Cassidy also introduces me to another marketing idea that I am now researching, and it looks promising. But to know about that one you're going to have to plead with Mistress Cassidy for me to guest post again sometime. I do have two other motives to want to make a little money. One is I still want to become a hypno slave. I would love to have the resources to submit to being dominated several times a month. YouTube files are fun. But in my opinion, you need a live person one on one to lead you into a trance. What is the next thing that motivates me to earn money online? I never got a chance to use my smartphone-controlled vibrator. I still fantasize about a Mistress ordering me to penetrate myself with the device then going out in public and being at a Mistress's wicked mercy. That would most definitely make an interesting blog post. But for now, those are just wishes and goals. But as I grow my understanding of online commerce, I will also continue to follow Mistress Cassidy and her exploits.

Bye for now

Allan

Electric Q&A with Mistress Cassidy & slave allan

I think that this Q and A will have some shocking revelations. You could say that you got a jolt out of it. Or maybe you will get all charged up. And I better stop making bad puns before Mistress decides to light my butt cheeks up. If you didn't get a light bulb going off over your head the topic today is electricity. More to the point using specific toys to deliver electrical stimulation during a session to tease and train your sub. So without using another pun, we hand things over to Mistress Cassidy.

 Groan, really slave? 
Before we begin discussing electric play, I'd like to issue a disclaimer. I love electric play and have been offering it in my sessions for about a decade now. While I feel confident in how my tools work, and how to use them properly; I am not an electrician or a doctor. I initially learned how to use my TENS unit through my chiropractor, who was aware that the tutorial was for the purpose of BDSM play. While I don't care for receiving electric shock, I also allowed a partner to extensively test my equipment on me before ever using it with a submissive. I periodically submit to equipment checks to ensure everything continues to work properly and as expected. If a reader was interested in learning to use electric equipment I would strongly suggest that they seek out in-person instructions from a professional. 

 1: What is electrostimulation or a phrase I just read this weekend electrosex?

 Electro-stimulation and electrosex are just what they sound like, using an electric pulse to create a pleasurable sensation or a painful sensation that one happens to find pleasure in experiencing.  

2: Before going too far, Mistress. Could you tell us the dangers or safety concerns involved with electro stimulation and how to keep a session from going terribly wrong? 

 While I think of electric play, with proper equipment, as being a moderately safe form of play, it poses some significant risks for some people. For people with heart conditions and people with epilepsy, it is, in my opinion, a high-risk activity. Electric play with people with those conditions falls outside of my comfort level, but I don't propose to tell others where their risk-taking meter ought to be set. Ages ago, I had a client create a DIY TENS unit, as much as I wanted to learn about electric play, I declined his offer to be a guinea pig. I believe electric play must be with manufactured devices that meet current safety standards for personal use. My TENS unit is what my chiropractor recommended. There are many inexpensive models available that are safe and appropriate for at home use. 

 3: What is a TENS unit, and how is it used in a session? 

 TENS stands for Transcutaneous Electric Nerve Stimulation.  I have an extensive collection of attachments that can be used with my unit. 

 4: What is a violet wand, and why are they so popular?

As I understand it, violet wands began as something of a medical and beauty product, that they were marketed as a way to have clearer skin through increasing the blood flow to an area, or something like that. As far as I know, they have proven unsuccessful in that endeavor but some kinky bastard saw their pervertable potential. I lack the technical terms to best describe what they are but I assume my readers have access to google. 

 5: You said once that you mostly session with males. So what is an electric urethral sound and how does it work?

 An electric urethral sound could be used on a woman as well. Again for technical specifics, try google. Simple description? It's a sound rod that is attached to a TENS unit that can be inserted into the urethral opening and then an electric charge can be sent through it.

6: Sorry Mistress I was ready to wrap it up with 5 questions when this popped into my head. I have been researching TENS unit for my vanilla pain relief. In that research, I found a TENS unit controlled with a smartphone. I am interested in it so my question is. Do you think it can be used as a pervertable to be used in a long distance training and would you think it would be safe?

 Hmm. This is the first time I have come across this idea. I'm sure it could be used for long distance training. I suspect it would be relatively safe, but as it is new to me I'd want to consider it longer and I would try to seek out some guidance from a Domme or sub who had first-hand experience with it.

Another Round of Q&A

  Today we venture back to Mistress's studio to find Mistress Cassidy. Mistress has agreed to answer some more questions for us. The topic today is about general BDSM practices. In future Q and A's, if Mistress permits me, I would like to focus on just one topic. That way the people coming into the scene can benefit form Mistress Cassidy's experience. Also, keep an eye out for my blunder. Even with just asking questions a slave can get into trouble. I better get this started before Mistress decides to snap her whip

Could Mistress describe for those new to the scene, what is wax play?I would put wax play under the umbrella of sensory play. Wax play might take the form of simply dripping candle wax from a low-temp burn candle onto a partner's or one's own skinor it could be an elaborate scene of layering waxes, that one might sculpt, carve, peel or whatever your wicked imagination can come up with.


What are sounds?

 Urethra sounds are wands/rods that are inserted into the urethra. They should be medical grade stainless steel and properly sterilized between use or disposable catheters may be used. 

When you watch a BDSM scene on a video clip, when a sub is being flogged the motion of the flogger looks like it is only lightly caressing the sub. Is there a level of pain and discomfort for the sub during these punishments? 
 Floggers are made out of many materials from tickling fur to biting stiff leather. There are many ways to swing a flogger and a whole body's worth of places to land the swing.  I don't know what flogging movies you have viewed so I can't speak to what the sub may have been experiencing. My go-to floggers are a pair of red and black suede floggers with weighted handles. I have been swinging this specific set for at least a decade now, so they are well broken in. I can swing these so they don't touch the sub's skin but simply cause a stir of the air, I can caress like a massage with them, I can do thuddy, rhythmic flogging or I can cause welts with them. I often use them in one hand, doubling the impact. I sometimes hold them above a sub's flesh & just shake them so they tickle the sub. When I do two-handed flogging I might swing them in unison, I might do an alternating swing or if I am feeling particularly rhythmic I might do one forward & one back- I often goof this up after a half dozen swings though. I have several floggers. I have mentioned a few of my other favorites in previous entries. I have a short, maybe 15" stiff rubber that seems to have been made from the same material as a car floor mat. Again, a soft swing will just make a thuddy impact. A swing with some weight behind it will bring welts. I have a super stiff purple leather, that's around 30"s and I would love it except it has a less than comfortable handle. A heavy swing with that will break the skin. Then I have my silver handled weighted, black leather that has 24" or so fells. The handle is very comfortable, and it will also break the skin. I have paracord floggers, I had a beaded flogger- not sure what happened to that now that I am thinking of it. I have latex floggers in a range of lengths, including 6" nipple teasers. Material & swing determine how it feels against the skin. 
   

In a BDSM scene, do some dominants actually use bull whips, cattle prods, and shock collars? Or is that a myth?

 Some dominants use bullwhips. Some use cattle prods. Some use shock collars. At one time I owned an elastarator (gizmo used to castrate goats & cattle), and I used that several times before becoming annoyed with always dropping the itty bitty elastics all over my space & retiring the piece. I have never used a bullwhip, cattle prod or shock collar in a scene. My space is not big enough to use a bullwhip in, and I do not know a qualified user to tutor me in proper use. I imagine cattle prods & shock collars are probably similar to using a TENs unit, but I do not have any personal experience with either.
Have you ever heard of the term pervertable? And if you have, could you tell the new people to the scene what it means?
 A pervertable is a vanilla item that can be used as a kink item. I have a pair of paper holders, I suppose they were intended to hold phone messages or something like that- alligator clips on a spiral of wire attached to a weighted base. Since I use them to clip nipples, we could say that they are a pervertable. A feather duster is a pervertable, a leather belt is a pervertable. There is a song from a kid show that's name is escaping me that features a song called "Anything Can Be a Bookmark" and the lyrics go on to suggest you can use all sorts of things including your grandma as a bookmark. It's quite silly, but just as anything can be a bookmark, anything can be a pervertable. 

For newbies among us. Is there a difference between Femdomme and serving a Mistress?

There is or there isn't based on what the terms mean to the person using them. A Mistress may or may not be a professional Mistress, a Femdomme may or may not be a professional Domme/Dominatrix. One might serve, see or session with either or with a woman who identifies herself as one or the other. Femdomme sometimes means dommes who enjoy a female supremacy style of sessioning.

What is a Findomme, is it a fetish with fish, or a preference to dommes from Finland? ;)

Edit: I remember when I was responding to this Q&A with slave allan. I was in an incredibly cranky mood. I think that contributed to the less than complete response here. A findomme is also a specific fetish. From what I understand as it is not really a type of play I engage in, it is typically strictly about an exchange of money or gifts. The sub enjoys gifting, indulging, perhaps providing for his dominant and his dominant enjoys receiving. But it is also, incorrectly I might add, used as I described below. /End edit 

A Findomme is an (IMO) stupid word someone coined to described a professional dominant woman, aka a woman who charges you to beat your ass. While some women seem to embrace the term, and that's their prerogative, I find it silly at best. Forevermore I'm going to think of a Finish Domme with a Fish thanks to your question. I prefer the term professional, and the average person shouldn't have such a difficult time understanding that professional means one who is compensated for their service. But yet every day I encounter a new newbie who has to have that explained to him, who then often tosses an "Oh you're just a Findomme then and it's all about the money for you" at me. It's late now, I am overtired we may edit this before publication. But you touched a pet peeve of mine. Does the average dude believe that they can contact a stranger, include a dick pic and ask her to truss him up like the Christmas goose and light his ass on fire and that the average woman is going to jump at such a glorious opportunity? And if the average dude knows women who would, he should contact those women & not me. It is not "all about the money", what a ridiculous accusation; but I know of no one who loves their job so much that they do it for strangers for free. I love what I do as much if not more than any of my friends seem to love their job, it is completely reasonable that one of the reasons I love it is because I am compensated very well to do it.  ( I am pleased to say that slave allan was not punished for making Mistress think of a Finish domme with a fish)

What would you say was the most interesting thing you ever did to a sub with ice.
 The most interesting things I have done with ice specifically have been during my personal time not during a session. I have a bit of a thing for ice, I think I forgot to mention that a few Q&As back when you asked about my fetishes. I guess I have done a thing or two with ice in sessions that I suppose is interesting in their own right. I will use ice and my hot stones during a sensory scene.  I have slipped ice into the plastic-wrapped subbie burrito. I have fed bound subs ice when they seem to be overheating. 


I don't know if you're a cold weather girl? Have you ever done an outside winter scene with a sub?
 I am very much a cold weather woman. Also don't refer to me as a girl again. If I opt to on occasion that is my prerogative; you will remember I am an adult, your superior and your owner. I have not actually done any outdoor winter scenes. While I love outdoor play, it is especially challenging. I think it is in very poor taste to expose others who have not consented to be part of your scene to session activities, even if one is very covert about it. Finding a place that one can reasonably expect will be free from mundane by-standers is a challenge on its own, finding an accessible spot in poor weather is more so. 

(I am very sorry Mistress, for displeasing you by me referring to you as a girl)

Other than the obvious, is there very much difference between a male and female session?Truthfully I have not had a session with an AFAB (assigned female at birth) woman professionally. I have had a limited number of couples session with me over the years. In my experiences with couples, it has been that the male partner was the primary submissive and the female partner either wished to learn a specific skill and/or wished to witness her partner's session. So even in my experience with couples, I have not really played with a female submissive professionally. Women, in my experience, do not seek professional scenes. I am sure the biggest reason for that is women seldom have a hard time finding a partner who will say that they will accommodate their interests. Which I think is in a way unfortunate, and likely leads to submissive women having much less than ideal experiences with partners of various skill levels before finding a skilled partner that they also connect with.  I wish that more women viewed their fantasy life in the same light they view their other personal needs. I don't think anyone would consider seeing a professional masseuse, for example, inappropriate while in a relationship with someone capable of rubbing their shoulders. While a massage is an intimate experience, no one would think if it as cheating or straying to see a professional when one needs the skill level of a professional.On your FetLife profile, you have pictures of some custom made collars. How would an individual be able to acquire one?

 Those are collars made by Master Paine, who I have mentioned a few times here. If one was interested in a custom collar or other leather piece, they should let me know & I will relay the information. Master Paine has a vanilla life too and I am not at liberty to give his contact info to strangers. 
Post editting note: Master Paine has now, finally, set-up a Fetlife profile. He can be found their under the handle "MisterPeterPain". 
  This is a shout out for Kinky Social at http://www.kinky-social.com/user/MistressCassidy  Are you enjoying the site?

I am. I love Fetlife, I have been a member there for many years. But right now on Kinky-Social, as a new site, it is pretty quiet when I visit. If I want to post a blog entry or comment on another's post I can do so without being interrupted by private messages. I am certain that soon enough that will change as the site gains momentum, but for now, I will enjoy the quietness.What is the name of your website again, for a first-time fan? 
cassidycream.comOnce again it has been a pleasure having Mistress Cassidy enlighten us with her knowledge of BDSM. Please make a point of visiting her profile on both Kinky Social and FetLife and say hello. Just remember, if you wish for Mistress to continue contacting you please always be polite and respectful and that will help. I am leaving Mistress's studio almost unscathed today. I must never refer to Mistress with anything less than a woman. Not with a girl, never never again. If anyone has any ideas for future topics, please let Mistress Cassidy know, and if you ask nicely enough she might put you in contact with me, so I can include your query in a future Q and A.