My Hands are Tied, My Body Bruised

 Sleight of hand and twist fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait. 

Do you know how many not just good, but truly amazing things have come to be as a direct result of me choosing to do a thing I knew I shouldn't do? How many times I have thought, this could really be a mistake, a big one, a wicked big one, but let's see what happens. I don't mean illegal things, or really even immoral things. I mean things that everyone knows you are supposed to do this way. Everyone agrees that way is best, and I swear I'm not trying to be difficult. I can see, yes it probably is best to do X this way; but fuckingA it sounds boring as fuck. And I just can't. I can't do it that way. Let's do it the way that's fastest, or the way that's scariest, or the way with the biggest potential to just, well just anything that isn't boring. We're going to start calling those moments Big D Moments, and you with your dirty mind are going to think I am referring to The D, I'm not. And those who know me, are going to think I am referring to my vanilla self, and I am not. If ya really knew me, you'd remember I am the Little D, there are things we never outgrow. 

This is not a Big D Moment, this moment is the amazing one, the direct result part. This is me, 49 years and 4 days. I was trying to take pictures of my bum, it's covered in bruises. Fiona is on the other side of the bed, I'll share that picture in a minute. She's chewing on her caterpillar toy, as happy with her lot in life as I am. I'm trying to take pictures because that's what I do. I'm 49 and 4 days, and I earn a living by, along with other things, taking pictures of my bum. Earlier in the day, Master John and I were just kicked back, basking after the activities that lead to the bruising mentioned above and catching up. And I said a thing, the verbatim is lost, the essence was that I have been a professional domme for over 20 years, and on a regular I am still, what? You want me to do what? Pinch me, I'm dreaming, this is what I get paid for Sir. And we shared a giggle that echoed back to the intersections of all the Big D Moments that lead and landed me right there.  

Done

 Have you missed me? How much? Prove it, comment on the post or maybe I'll never share my brilliance with you again. 

Nah for realz if you're happy to see that I am tapping these keys again you should totes thank Ms Dahlia. It is all her doing. 

Months ago Dahlia, Dez and Cass went on a most epic road trip. Much fun and giggles were had by everyone.

It was officially time that my besties should meet my top, or rather it was way past time but we were finally able to coordinate the schedules of all these alpha types. 

So we drove to the state where they have the very worst food from all over the globe, and had the very best time. You should see the pictures but you'd have to be my Fetlife friend to do that cuz ya know vanilla privacy and such. 

There was this moment. I believe I was bent over an easy chair. Master John had suggested he would stop paddling me as soon as one of my friends guessed the number he was thinking and I was crying and laughing at everyone in the room. You don't understand Sir they are not going to try. Never do they ever get to see Mistress Cassidy V Cream in a compromised, this person won't bend a rule for me position. And Dahlia and Dez, did I mention his sign? He totes means it, he is never going to stop. He is going to charge the red cape and hit my red ass until the end of time if one of you don't guess right. And it was right about then, if memory serves me, that Dahlia said something like: Oh hey while she's already in trouble, could you help me with something? For real, blind panic and terror. What is she going to ask him? Is she going to tell him what a cunt I am some mornings when it takes too long to get breakfast? Is she going to tell him about that one time when I <perhaps there's a small rule I may have broken, but I know you'll read this and I have right to not self incriminate Sir> FuckingA my ride or die, most loyal of friends is going to sell me out and watch me squirm. 

And she said, "Make her write in her blog again. She hasn't in months, and I miss it.".

This Could Be the Best Place Yet

But you must overcome your fears. 

I'm not sure on the obscure factor here. Do you know it? 

It is time to pack up Cabin Cassidy Next, and prepare for our next adventure. Tomorrow I'm checking in to a beautiful place a bit further south. Time is such a funny thing, even when I am mindful of slowing down and savoring every moment, which is a challenge for my fast paced nature, still even when I try, it just moves so fast. 

I spent 30 days here. It rained so much. I spent a great quantity of quality time with those we do not discuss in this space. We had delicious meals, deep conversations and much playfulness. And in the time left over, I engaged, created, promoted. In that mode too there was much playfulness. There is no sadness for leaving it behind, I intend for there to be even more of the same at the next stop. 

There was another interview with Nicholas from Your Kinky Friends. Go watch it here: Your Kinky Friends

I approached Nicholas a little bit ago about helping me kick off a new idea, and I announced it during his show. Nicholas is going to give me a hand, he's agreed to be my first guest and this week we're going to add podcast host to our adventure resume. 

There will also be The (virtual) Party of the Season this week. Our most magical friend is celebrating her birthday Wednesday. 

I miss her horrifically but also, can I say again how great it is to live in the future? Can you imagine what this time would be like if we were in our homes alone, and our only confirmation of the state of our long distance friends and family, was via the mail, phone calls at a dollar a minute and news at 6? 

Starting tomorrow I'll be live on OnlyFans at 10p for at least an hour. It may be sexy time, or it may be watch Cassidy re-watch The Magicians, who knows. I'm going to commit to this scheduled time for the next 10 days at new place. We'll see how it goes before I commit to it longer. I suspect many of the 10 broadcasts will be from the over sized, sunken, gorgeous bath in the master suite of the new place, but you'll have to stop in to see. 

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Tits on a Bull, Panic and Other Things without Value

Photo Credit: Meep! DM me to follow her work.
Your big sister promo'ing you on her adult sites can be ackward

Before this is over I may overshare. 

What? Not you Cass, you're normally so quiet and keep to yourself. 

Did you get your giggles out? Good, let's focus now.

 

For real, good. Everyone seems to have lost their gd mind, laughing should give you a little serotonin boost and your immune system appreciates it.

 

Also for real, there is much I do not share. Mistress Cassidy, Cassidy Cream, they're talkative, excitable, let's just do this already, characters. They are natural extensions of myself, but Denise is much quieter and reserved than her public faces. 

A few weeks ago a chain of events began. I was in a place of if this happens I will do that, and if that happens I will do this. That well describes my approach to life in general. While I talk about and live outside of the main-stream, I do my best to flow with the currents of my stream. So the this-es that happened lead to the decision to put all my worldly possession in storage, pack some gear, some clothes and the precious cargo we do not discuss in adult spaces but everyone knows I have; and follow my bliss while I considered the possibilities.

 

I am so grateful that over the past couple months Dahlia went on this Youtube University kick, and began daily sending me podcasts, Ted talks and assorted interesting clips. Everyone on the internets may have known who Seth Godin was since the dawn of time. I heard him say consider the possibilities like a month ago. It's still fresh in my mind. My mind is a busy place, freshness has a special value. 

How blessed am I to have a friend who vibes at a near match frequency. Who intuits what I will need before I will need it.

 

I choose the filters I see my reality through. There is a filter I could snap on here that would read much differently. It would be a tangled mess, the editing would leave much to be desired and neither of us would enjoy it. 

Now I am a sadist. I'm not terribly concerned about your enjoyment, but I will have mine.

 

Dahlia also re-introduced me to Abraham & Esther Hicks. I jumped out of a plane without a parachute, it'll be over soon. Actually that's so completely inaccurate I am contemplating backspacing it. It doesn't look like a parachute, that's more accurate and I'm totally winging the analogies here.  It doesn't look like a parachute- maybe it is a quick inflate bounce house, maybe it is a raft, or maybe it is a jet pack. Who cares?  If it is a rock it'll be over soon and if I have nothing tangible of value, I know how to duck and roll. 

I really wanted to share the dick hands story, but I couldn't find a smooth transition. Oh well, come back for the next post maybe that's the right spot for it. 

There's a Fet Post  I enjoyed writing you may wish to check out. Again, must be a Fetlife member to read things there. Their rules, not mine.

I've also extended my intro special on https://onlyfans.com/cassidycream I am hardcore in love with OnlyFans. Not just as a creator, I love the concept. I love that I can support creators who are making the erotica I enjoy, and know absolutely they are creating out of passion and joy. The level of access and interaction is brilliant. Do you enjoy porn without a side dish of human trafficking? Buy direct from adult performers and creators. And if you can't tell the difference between someone who loves what they are engaged in and someone who doesn't, I bet there's a video on Youtube University that can explain it to you. I don't have time to explain how pupils dilate, and blood flow increases, I have to decide where my bliss is calling me to follow and I must pack.     

I am uploading daily to my OnlyFans while on this adventure. For weeks I had been saying, if only I had the peace & quiet to really focus on Only Fans. Sorry, I didn't know this is how the universe would deliver my wishes, but it does always deliver. 

All Around the World Statues Crumble for Me

Have I ever shared how much I appreciate when one is just a little bit over the line between arrogant and confident? Yes, a toe into the arrogant zone, maybe a whole leg. Listen sincere confidence is hard sometimes. Sometimes one does have to fake it, or at least that's been my experience. If someone appears truly confident, a socially acceptable level, I'm like I don't know if I can roll with you. What if it really is 100% sincere?  If I catch you acting a little arrogant, just a little, then I know you have something, I may not know the specific thing, but ya flashed your cards a little, and now I know there's something you're not so confident about. I love a contradiction, and I know I have said that here before.

I had plans. I had plans to go to Vegas. Said that here back in December when I was so very confident it was a done deal. Wasn't a paid deal, but hey little bravado and suddenly the universe is manifesting your every wish. Or at least that's been my experience.

I had plans to go to the art museum. Mandatory vanilla day, right? Were we Insta friends? You've

seen me post about Mandatory vanilla day. No one sent the memo to the intended museum that Monday's are the best day of the week.

See, I need an assistant. Because also, Mistress Cassidy didn't bother to check the museum's website for their posted hours.

Whatever, found a way cool new-to-me playground and that's as cool as an art museum on mandatory vanilla day. And I heard Sugar Ray, who at 20-something I thought was just way too arrogant but at 47, I'm like ya I hear you.

The event I wished to attend in Vegas was cancelled the night before. The universe grants my every wish, except when it would be best for me if it doesn't.

I have new plans. Hold your breath. I'm going to master this thing called patience because I am so fucking over the pop quizzes.

Travel plans will be posted when the tickets are in my inbox or maybe when we're in the air.

Quickly because I still need to Pack

It's Monday. It's raining. I have a 12 hour car adventure planned in about 48 hours. There are lists that need to be written. I am going to see some of my most favorite people. I am destined to meet new cool people. And I will have all of the people I created myself in the same space at the same time.
Little more vanilla sharing than I am normally inclined to do, but it stays. It's the sentence that most verifies how very blessed I am.

There's no need to recap the minor setbacks and snafus of last week. Last week is o-v-e-r, today is Monday. All hail Monday.
Truth be told, I am feeling just a wee bit under the gun to put it all together and pull it all off. Of course the bigger truth is that I really like that pressure of the imaginary deadlines I create.
This post was intended to be written last Thursday, posted today. I was intending to leave for my adventures tomorrow, not Wednesday. Packing would have happened yesterday. Picnic basket packing would be happening now. I love picnic basket packing. I love each of those words individually and exponentially when we put them all together. Picnics are the best, baskets are so pretty & pragmatic, and packing is the precursor to adventures.
Remember I was asking you if you want to come along with me in the last post? Remember how I have been saying things are going to be changing? Let me refresh you, this is the Cassidy show all day every day. I'm teasing. I'm not really that much of an ego maniac but I am, for real, approaching things differently. This will be one of the first manifestations of it. Shh, all that excitement above, even way cool badass dominatrix sometimes have to bounce off a little nervous energy when they're about to try a new thing.

There are things that need to be done. There is more on my plate than I wish to consume. I have had boys pay to drink my bath water, certainly a bite off my plate is even more appealing?
Virginia bottoms, it is so last minute (see above when I mentioned snafus) but my car is in need of a quick once over before I embark on my adventures. A simple vacuuming and fluid check, I know it is mechanically up for the trip. Ideally a subbie will step forward from those who have already sessioned with me here. However, if we have a shared friend within the local scene who is willing to vouch for you, I will grant an audience to a new-to-me bottom.
New England bottoms, it is your lucky day.
While in Massachusetts I intend to have: fried clams from McMenamy's, hamburg pizza from Linwood's and a steak & cheese from D'Angelos.  Those who wish to enjoy my company may arrange lunch with me. If you're one of my shy fans, you may show your thoughtfulness and send a gift card for one of those.  Lunch could be coupled with a spa day if any of my sissy subs in Mass wanted to do a girls day together. I also require an escort for at least one event. Your responsibilities will include carrying my gear, availability to bottom or assist in any scene I opt to engage in and general attentiveness to my needs.Your rewards will include spending downtime with me and my friends, aka the coolest people in the New England scene, and the opportunity to appear in my holiday content. The event that is set in stone is Aqua's private holiday party in NH, I will see to your vetting, on Friday, December 13th. There are two other events that I may attend, shoot me a message if you wish to be considered.

There are a couple other ways you may be able to engage with me during this trip. I wish to create content with themes of tickle torture, and  foot worship with extreme CBT and/or trampling. I still need to tackle holiday shopping, which everyone who pays attention knows how much I hate. A sub with masochistic tendencies to accompany me to the mall/maul would be so helpful. 
Following me on all of my online platforms will insure that you are kept abreast of changes to my schedule, live broadcasts at events, as well as sneak peek and full version sharing of the content I create alone and with my friends.

Virtual Spaces

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Streamate Cam  Live broadcasts several times a week

Be Thoughtful: December Wishes

email: cassidycream15@gmail.com

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Interview: Your Kinky Friends

Want to Come on Adventures with Me?

There's an episode of Beavis and Butthead where they are capping on Madonna's video for the song Secret. They say something about how she could be anyone's white haired granny. Then both acknowledge that they'd still do her. Later Butthead remarks on how Madonna is always masturbating in her videos. Beavis replies he always masturbates when Madonna's videos are on too. To which Butthead says, but she's doing Madonna when she masturbates.
Madonna was 36 when Secret was released in 1994.

Next Sunday, November 24th, Mistress Cassidy will be celebrating forty-seven revolutions around the sun. When I touch myself....

Let's recap 46:

• A few hundred hours engaged with clients
• More or less an equal amount of time camming
• Approximately 4 times the combined total of the 1st two items, advertising, screening, setting up and cleaning up for the 1st item. 
• Less than 75 days spent with those I have a personal dynamic with, total
• About 70 nights in hotels
• Six trips to Massachusetts/New England 
• An equal number of trips to states I am not at liberty to disclose 
• dozens of munches and small venue demo events
• 2 conventions
• 4 party or club events 
• Hosted 3 parties

If we compared 46 to 45, most would stay the same but the parties would rise dramatically. I believe I was the dungeon Mistress for around 30 parties in 2018. 

I miss dancing at parties. I miss having dozens of fresh bodies under Dreamer and Dancer. Thirty is too many, 3 is too few. Twelve work-cations is about the right number, but half to the same destination is not. 

Happiness lies in your own hands...

The decision to take a sabbatical from professional sessions is part of my ever fine-tuning to bring my reality more perfectly inline with being everything I wish it to be. 

My 47th year will include a trip to Las Vegas, and another to Orlando. Did you know that Iceland has one of the only Toys R Us that didn't go out of business? How about that there is some tourist trap in Punta Cana that is the "Home of Sponge Bob"? Thanks to YouTube, a little person reminds me of these facts a couple hundred times a day. Those trips are really more apt to happen in 2021, but sketching them out has begun. 

I will be hosting parties again, locally and out of state. 

I intend to prepare for my Reiki master attunement. I wish to learn more about Tantric massage.  

I wish to explore the depths of my dynamics. I will engage with submissives who truly wish to serve. I will indulge in the activities I enjoy, and give exactly no fucks about how my exhibitionism or my submission to my top impacts my brand.

Do you want to come with me? I want you to come with me. Cue Hed PE, I want you to cum for me, just cum for me...

Seriously though there are ways you can be part of this, and I do want you to be a part of this. 

You can follow my platforms. You are suppose to be following my platforms already. Listen though, this is important. You really need to follow me on multiple platforms, all of them if you can. Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat have all announced new guidelines aimed at harming the businesses of those of us who work in the adult industry. I will likely tackle this subject in an entry soon, but I am not dragging out that soapbox tonight.  Please follow multiple platforms because on a whim, at any time, IG, FB and SC can opt to disappear my account. My content will be lost, my connections, fans and anyone I network with through that platform will be gone if I don't have those things duplicated, triplicated, written in ink on the inside of my binder like this is the stone ages. My understanding is that even promoting this blog on my personal Facebook account puts that account at risk. 

Fetlife isn't any more stable than the vanilla platforms. The guidelines for professionals on Fetlife have never been fully welcoming, FL could opt to tighten them at any time.

Do you enjoy the stories I share? Want to hear more? What if I promised to tell you what my top growled in my ear the last time we were playing? I bite my lip whenever I remember the moment.
Do you like the photos I share? Want to see more? 

I am exhibitionist. I am also just a little uptight. Protocol, manners, and etiquette matter to me. Not being vulgar, not being inappropriate matters to me. I want you to watch. I want you to lean in close even. But I will not be posting the video of me gagging on....see, I'm not going to finish that sentence. You know where it was going. I am not sharing that video just any place. It's not going to be lost among the never ending clicks of next on Pornhub. It is not going to be blasted on adult Twitter. My videos will never be the reason that some mom is mortified when she hands off her phone to do nanny duty and a little vanilla person opens the wrong app.
I think Megadeth should pen another stanza to Peace Sells. What do you mean I don't follow community standards? 

Do you want to watch it though? Ask nicely, I'll send you an invitation. Maybe a front row seat.
  

You want to see want to see how Mistress Cassidy plays in private? Do you want to follow me to Vegas? Aqua's going with that heart-shaped, Kevlar ass of hers. Mistress Dahlia, oh my- Mistress Dahlia and all the magic she is will be in Vegas.

Do you want to see the morning pictures I send to my top every day? Hear how we engage in the time in between in-person time?

Should my travels bring me to your area, do you hope to meet me?
Want to come to my events for a special rate?

When you finally work up the nerve to approach me about the possibility of serving me, do you want me to even entertain the possibility?

Go on, try to tell me that none of that made your panties a little damp. Then when we're done being fibbers, watch for the link.

Subscribe to my OnlyFans, and be part of my 47th year of adventures.   

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Gifts, Blessings and Delight

How blessed am I to know such suffering.
I've added so many mantras in the last year. Gifts largely given by my top, and some from my partner/muse/soulmate, Mistress Dahlia. The above is one of hers. We are not of the favor tallying style of friends, but I owe her a thing for that. Give me a minute, when the moment is right, I promise I will deliver.
Pain, suffering, regret; that chapter has closed.
Blessed, without limits and never ending.
The universe delights when I receive the gifts it bestows upon me.
That gem I found on my own. It is a summary of thing I wrote here months ago.
Let this chapter, and all those to come, focus on the many blessings and gifts the universe bestows.
I have a new sub. Well, no, not quite yet. You thought I was talking about Livy, again. Rest assured I will be talking about Livy again, probably before I wrap this up. What I meant to say is I met a new sub. I meet new-to-me submissives often, why is this one of note? He contacted me months ago. He was ever so slightly outside of my travel zone, and his kink, is pretty far outside of my comfort zone.  Let me clarify that statement. Remember when I talked about what limits have remained constant and which fell away when I pushed on them? I talked about how hard it was for me to explore degradation, specifically homophobic based degradation. Yet, when I embraced my discomfort, when I recognized that this is what some of my subs need, it has become a form of play that I love. It is still challenging for me, I suspect it always will be. There are times when being comfortable is a needed respite, but excitement, adventure, exhilaration are not synonyms of comfort. So for clarity, his kink does not violate my moral compass, it is not bizarre or abnormal; it is simply not a thing I have experience with, and outside of my comfort zone. It is actually a thing I began getting many requests for a few months back. A dozen or more texts were responded to with, "Thank you for the inquiry, but Mistress Cassidy does not offer that scene. Best wishes finding the right match for you.".   I have no idea what this sub said differently. How he caught my attention enough that I opted to respond with more than my polite but curt standard reply. He did though, and I did. And from that chance encounter, a whole new chapter is unfolding.
Just outside of my travel zone. I love Richmond. It is a vibrant community. I have an established network of friends and contacts that support everything that matters to me in the vanilla world. Art, culture, a thriving poly community, things we do not discuss in my adult themed blog, all of that is in Richmond. What isn't there? My clients. Oh they're there, somewhere. I know they are, but getting settled took longer than I allotted. Networking a new area, while maintaining my client base in New England, and juggling my vanilla life; I said it recently, it just isn't sustainable. Know what else I love? The beach. Virginia beach specifically. When I lived in Richmond before, the 2 hour drive to the ocean was my only complaint. Last Wednesday I signed a lease on a gorgeous apartment, approximately 10 minutes from the ocean. I'm on the side of the bridge (and traffic ) that equals Richmond is just over an hour away. I feel so strongly that this space is the most perfect spot where my professional and my private life needs will be best met.
Does a butterfly remember when it was a caterpillar? Does it carry the experience of turning to goo forever? If it must, if that is how the universe works, then I hope it also knows that it does not, that it actually can not, ever experience it again.

While I am all unpacked, my ocd does not abide by living in boxes,  I am still settling in to my new routine and new space. I am once again in the first days of quitting smoking. How many times we fall doesn't matter, as long as we get up one time more than that. My schedule will be posted on Monday, but I am beginning to pencil in next week now. Feel free to inquire if you are hoping to see me soon. Chaturbate may or may not happen this weekend. You know where the announcements will be made it if it does.
Also note, I have not cancelled the Why Bee Normal giveaway. Just pinned it for when I am settled.

Oh Mercury...

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Adjusted My Point of View

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It is Still Monday

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Reflections and Echoes

It was my intention to post my schedule for my trip today. Well yesterday by the time I wrap this up & post. 
I have committed to dates. I will be heading north in 9 days, on the 10th of February. I will be in New England at least until the 27th. Time will be spent in New Hampshire, central Massachusetts, and Rhode Island, just like the last trip but with a little more thought and logic applied to when I will be where.
I had thought I would share my itinerary here as well. It would, I believe, help me to streamline scheduling if I could post, I will be in Manchester on 2/xx and I have openings from 1p to 6p. 
Safety. I have a directive from my top to maintain my safety. 

When I began dancing at 20, before I went to my first party, I remember feeling so panicked that people would find out I was doing this. I imagined that I would be embarrassed if they did. I worried that maybe my friends would think poorly of me, maybe my family would disown me. I went to my first party, and I knew I had found a thing that was right for me. My concerns about what others might think, gone. If others didn't see how this made me glow. If others didn't see how well it fit my life at the time.  If others didn't respect my autonomy and my ability to make good choices for myself. Well then others didn't know me very well and I would not be stifled by their opinions. 

There were just a couple of spots of concern in my new found, I am the baddest bitch on the planet facet of my personality. My mother was among them. I was a college student and working full-time. I was living in my own home, with my partner and raising a family. I was, in all manner, a responsible adult. And I was 20 years old, I desperately wanted to avoid disappointing my mother.     

My mother's response? Will you be safe? What will you do to insure that you will be safe? Her response was first such a huge relief. Then it gave me pause. I may not have her words verbatim here, but what I typed reflects what she said. Is it safe in general, do you travel with bouncers, or security of some variety. She also conveyed, quite clearly, I was choosing to travel a path outside of the well worn ones, and because of that I was accepting a greater responsibility for my own well-being. 

I have a collection of things I do to mitigate my risks. I do not share them publicly and that too is a safety measure. Many of them are just second nature to me now, and I no longer consciously think about them. Occasionally I recognize a thing that did not occur to me before, and I adjust my strategies accordingly at those times. I take my physical safety seriously, and I am confident in the choices I make regarding it. 

A thing happened, a thing that will not be shared here, but it reminded me that there are other risks beyond physical. Areas where I am perhaps, sometimes, just a little bit reckless. Or if not reckless, comparably less conservative. 

I am confident that sharing my itinerary publicly for this trip would not jeopardize my physical safety. It would make a small thing a bit easier. Having been given this moment to reflect on the other areas that I should tend to with more care, I am not going to give advanced notice of my entire itinerary. My party is on Valentine's Day in Rhode Island. I will be attending one day of the Flea, contact me if you wish to arrange to see me there. If I am attending any other events during this trip, I will rsvp via normal channels. I have a few appointments still available, more or less evenly divided between central Mass, Rhode Island and southern New Hampshire. Which just leaves the matter of my broadcasts...

Did you notice the new feature above? It is still in testing stage. Assuming it performs as expected, which I intend to verify tomorrow evening, when I broadcast it will appear here as well. You can view my public broadcast right here in my blog. If you wish to join the conversation or view my private broadcasts, you will need to follow the link to Chaturbate. I will announce as I always do when I am about to sign on. 

Oh There You Are

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