Really Cool Questions

Yesterday I posted something trivial about my dungeon on my personal Facebook account. A friend of mine from way back in grade school had some interesting questions based and it seemed like a great theme for a post...


1. What exactly happens in this dungeon? Alchemy, and magic. Well that's what I want to happen in my dungeon. Some sessions are, most aren't quite that cerebral. What exactly happens. Typically I arrive an hour before my scheduled session. I am about half transformed when I arrive, I finish getting into character (where going to come back to that term in a moment, I've already read through the questions) and set-up the dungeon for the scene in that hour. My client arrives, if they are a returning client there will be small talk, hugs, perhaps inquiries about their experience post-scene from their last scene. If they are a new-to-me client we will spend some time getting to know one another. I ask medical history questions. I explain how to use our safe words. I establish the boundaries for our time together, and I give them a chance to express their goals for our session. During this time I may answer questions about my gear, my experience with their kink, or how I would handle emergency situations. It surprises me that not every client asks those questions. Anyway, once those pleasantries are out of the way, the session begins. They're told to strip naked, and to leave their clothes in a specific manner. If they fail, they are told to do it over again. This is my thing, it's one of the few things in a session that is for my benefit. It's how I gauge how present they are. If their clothes wind up on a heap on the floor, it's probably nerves but they are clearly not all in and I won't have that. They will be given their instructions again and I will employ some tricks I know to insure their attention stays focused no matter how nervous they are. I may ask them to repeat back to me each thing I say to them. Or I may walk them through a breathing exercise. In any case I will not be ignored nor will I have a subbie smack their head off the beam in the ceiling because they were hyper focused on the tingly feeling in their privates. Each session is different, each sub has their own interests and the session does revolve around their interest. In no particular order I offer: tease & denial, CBT/NT (cock ball and nipple torture), sensory deprivation & overload, restraints, corporal punishment, impact play, piercings, cross-dressing, service training, etiquette training, chastity & key holding, adult baby/Little play, consensual/non-consent, fire play, puppy/kitten play, hypnosis, foot/shoe/stocking worship and probably a half a dozen things I am forgetting. There will be no more smoking fetish or human ashtray scenes though. There are a handful of things I only engage in with submissives I know well, like hard-core humiliation scenes and blood play. And there are a handful of common BDSM themes that I am just not into so they don't happen in my dungeon. When a scene is finished, I tend to my subs in whatever manner is appropriate, and typically we spend some time talking about the scene before they leave. If I have any reason to think that they are not ready to drive, I insist that they hang out longer & have a bite to eat or whatever until it seems they are back in their head properly.
2. Not judging, is this a vocation? Avocation? Both? People pay you? Yes, yes, yes and yes very well. At the risk of sounding silly, I do very much feel that this is my calling. I know a lot of people from all walks of life. The ones that I recognize as being the happiest are the ones that spend a significant amount of their free time doing what they do for a living. One of my best friends is a midwife, and an educator. When she isn't actively engaged in catching a baby or teaching her official students how to catch a baby, she's talking to someone about catching babies, about teaching, or about holding sacred space for women. She is on her best, right path, doing what she was called to do. I earn a living walking people through their fantasies, taking something that is in their head and turning it into something that happens in the flesh, in real life. When I am not doing this for a fee, I am here writing about it in my blog. I am encouraging my friends to pursue the thing that will make them happy (it's not always sexy fantasies that I walk people through). And when I have down time, private time, time for me, I am to the best of my ability turning my fantasies into realities.
3. U tie people up? Spank them? Mild torture for lack of a better term? Tie people up, yes. Spank them, among other things, yes. Mild torture, hmm. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes I wear gloves that go past my elbows and put down a painter's tarp. 4. Is there sex? There has to be some form of gratification, no? U dont get someone so worked up and then send them home do u? Oh DC, now I know you don't read my blog regularly. In my professional scenes there is no sex. At this time, in my private play dynamics, there is also no sex. I am certain my clients would tell you that they are satisfied. I often get people worked up and send them home. There are many ways gratification can manifest, and yes I totally know we are using code words here let's be blunt & vulgar instead. An orgasm isn't the only way to feel satisfied. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You also can't have an orgasm and also hold that precise moment before when every nerve ending in your body and every wire in your brain is vibrating and screaming this is the very best feeling that has ever been felt by anyone ever. Unless your top orders you to. Calling on that energy, and then intentionally harnessing it and redirecting it is it's own gratification for some.
5. How did u get into this? Go back to my first entry here. 6. Is it men? Women? Both? I see more men than women, but I see both. I also see people who identify as gender fluid, gender bending, non-binary and a host of other terms. And I work with couples.
7. Does it excite you or is it like a job? Your playing a role and when the play is over you come out of character?
It very much excites me, in the way someone who loves their job is excited by it. Again, you really should read the first post. I said in that entry, I do not turn up the volume to become Cassidy Cream, Cassidy Cream dials back the volume to pass as Denise in the real world. This is who I am, all the time.

8. Has it ever gone too far? By too far i mean someone hitting u back, sexual assault, someone stalking u?
I have never had a work situation go too far. I have never had a client actually or try to hit me, I have had incidental & accidental hits and kicks from a sub struggling in a session that I have agreed to allow this sort of play. I have worked in several professional vanilla gigs, there was far more inappropriate sexual contact & innuendo in those settings than there has been in 20 years as a dominatrix or the 10 years as a stripper before this. At parties, occasionally a newbie (or an asshole) doesn't know (or doesn't care) what the appropriate way to approach a woman might be. So in that setting yes, a random groping, swatting or off-color joke happens. But again, compared to going to a vanilla club for a night it's very minor & tame.

Guest Post: Slave Joe's Edging Adventures

I thought we should switch things up here a bit. Mistress has been naval gazing in her blog for a few entries now, which is my prerogative but I thought my mute little readers might like something new. To that end I requested my long distance slave, slave J* share his thoughts on his current experience. Mistress has introduced him to edging. I'm going easy on him, he's a newbie and I didn't wish to overwhelm him. The following are his thoughts in his words.

Day 1
When you gave me this edging task I kinda thought it would just be something new to try and it would be easy. It is harder than I thought. This morning it took me a little over 4 minutes to edge. I tried to hold as long as I could but after about 15 seconds I had to stop. I did not have an orgasm but fluid came out. I cleaned up but when I stood up more flowed out. For 2 hours after I really felt the urge to have an orgasm. Then this evening I went slower and it took me about 7 minutes to edge. I tried slowing down to almost stopping and then slowly masturbate again. I lasted 32 second this time. There was a lot more fluid this time and when I pulled my pants up and stood up, it just flowed out. I had to change my underpants. Now I just want to masturbate and reach orgasm. This is a very frustrating experience.

Day 2
This is a strange experience. I am masturbating in the morning before I go to work and again at night when I get home. It keeps me aroused all day long. It is really getting difficult Mistress. Today was not much different. In the morning I was erect in about 5 minutes and was able to stay on edge for 40 seconds. There was still a lot of fluid coming out. This evening it still took me about 5 minutes to edge but I could only edge for 10 seconds. I could tell if I did not stop I would have an orgasm. I did not have much fluid come out at all. I still feel very aroused though. 

I am really starting to struggle with the need for release. Mistress Cassidy may I Please! have an orgasm? ( Just received an email from my Mistress, she said no to continue edging). 

slave j*

It's Mistress again. He is actually on day 3 now, and I just sent him his instructions for tomorrow. Silly sub thought just because he said please I was going to let him orgasm. But he is doing such a good job, I thought I could extend just a little kindness so I gave him a choice. Tomorrow he may orgasm if he wishes, but he will have to find the time to edge 3 times a day daily for the next few days. Or if he chooses to delay one more day, he may orgasm on Friday and take the weekend off from his task. Let's see how much self-control he has. I am hoping that he has none! I think the entries from having to edge 3 times a day will be far more entertaining than an entry that reads I was a good sub, delayed my gratification and had a relaxing weekend.

Finally Mistress Sarah's First Session!!!

It has been quite some time since I last posted about apprenticing Mistress Sarah. Perhaps my faithful but mute readers thought that I had scared her off or something. That wasn't what happened at all. Mistress Sarah's day gig has a seasonal component to it, summer is her busiest time of year and this summer, in particular, was swamped for her.  We touched base a few times over the summer while waiting for her schedule to ease up a bit, and now that Labor Day has passed Mistress Sarah has time to swing her flogger.  Hooray!

My initial plan was to head to the studio for a few hours of non-sessioning work; work on some hypnosis recordings, update the blog and my fingers were crossed that the photographer I'm working with would be available to take some pictures for me. My morning went all shades of wrong, with assorted vanilla errands that I was unsuccessful in completing through no fault of my own.Then the photographer let me know that she wasn't going to be available. Last I had checked in with Mistress Sarah it didn't seem like our schedules were going to line up either. But then, largely because my errands didn't get accomplished, my open time changed to fit hers. Shortly after realizing that I got a text from a subbie I have known for ages but haven't sessioned with in a decade. He wanted to see if I had time that day. Normally I frown on same day appointments, do you think Mistress Cassidy sits around holding her breath for you to contact me? And legitimately, I can rarely make them fit into my schedule. But again, thanks to things not working out, I could this day. So a quick check with Ms. Sarah that she felt up for a warm body and verifying that my subbie would be cool being worked over by two Dommes, and a new, equally cool day fell into place. 

Miss Sarah and I had a little bit of time before sub arrived. I shared some of my thoughts on what being a dominatrix is like, the things I might do differently if I knew then the things I know now. For what it's worth, there isn't much about my career trajectory that I would change. I didn't become a dominatrix through an apprenticeship route. I may have avoided some minor snafus over the years had I had a mentor, but I learned and grew from my mistakes. 

My subbie arrived and became my prop for the next couple hours. At each step, I would stop the flow to explain why I did something or what might be different with someone I didn't know as well as this subbie. I showed her how I gauge how likely a sub is inclined to bruising. This sub wishes not to have lasting marks, so I showed Miss Sarah the tools I would use to accommodate that request. This sub arrived in a chastity device (remember Mistress Cassidy quite enjoys chastity devices), so subbie stood so I could show Miss Sarah some of the features of his model and explained how others might differ.   While subbie was restrained and blindfolded I motioned Mistress Sarah over to give the fur paddle a go. I wonder if subbie knew? Was there a noticeable difference in tempo or intensity? I have no idea, but it was fun to be an observer in my studio. I teased subbie with the possibility of not returning his cage key to him when he left. A completely empty threat when one is locked in a silicone cage. Of course, I returned his key to him so he wouldn't have to destroy his cage when he is ready to remove it. Later I also gave sub the option of release from his cage at the end of his session, and he wished to remain caged! I really would have loved to have retained his key, but this is not a collared subbie of mine. His obligation to chastity ends when he passes back over my threshold into the mundane world. Oh well, next caged subbie might be one who can carry our scene into the mundane & be the one who's key hangs on my necklace next. 

I've had a quick check in with Mistress Sarah since our session, and I am thrilled to hear she enjoyed the session as much as I. 

A Quick Post by Mistress, Link to a New Post by slave allan

As I said in my last post, I am just swamped with electronic-paperwork and assorted projects in and out of the dungeon. A new one was added to my plate last night, my landlord has asked if I could move from my lovely second-floor space to his third-floor unit. In truth, the third floor is in better condition overall; but smoking Mistress Cassidy wants to climb 2 flights of stairs not the fuck at all. There was a legitimate and acceptable reason for the move, and I will be accommodating his request while swearing quite a bit about it. Local subbies wishing to be of service, message me immediately to help me move my gear.
While tackling some of the assorted, never-ending electric paper stuff this rainy afternoon, I had a notification that my LD collared slave allan had updated his blog. I assigned him a subject matter earlier in the week, and then quite forgot about it. The ding of the notification was a welcomed break from the monotonous youtube video I was watching that explains the steps for a vanilla project I am working on. slave allan's assignment was to write about chastity devices. I love chastity devices & key holding. I may write an entry about it soon, but this isn't that entry. I know chastity is not a hot button for slave allan. I believe he would endure it if I requested it, but it would be impractical at this time for the dynamics of our contract. It has been my intention recently to assign him tasks and administer punishments that are outside of his knowledge base but of course within his comfort zone. Remind me to share the story about why he had to stick his hand in maple syrup for 10 minutes. Chastity training fit that bill for this week's blog assignment. As I knew it would be, his entry is a quick but thorough exploration of the history of male chastity devices, well-worded commentary on current use and a few picture examples of modern devices. The history component was his own spin on the assignment, which I appreciate. I  have no use for mindless drones who write what I dictate without expanding on the ideas. After the maple syrup punishment, I felt my devoted secretary slave would appreciate a little public praise.
So go check out his blog, and wait for my follow up on what I love about chastity training soon.

secretary slave allan