Really Cool Questions

Yesterday I posted something trivial about my dungeon on my personal Facebook account. A friend of mine from way back in grade school had some interesting questions based and it seemed like a great theme for a post...


1. What exactly happens in this dungeon? Alchemy, and magic. Well that's what I want to happen in my dungeon. Some sessions are, most aren't quite that cerebral. What exactly happens. Typically I arrive an hour before my scheduled session. I am about half transformed when I arrive, I finish getting into character (where going to come back to that term in a moment, I've already read through the questions) and set-up the dungeon for the scene in that hour. My client arrives, if they are a returning client there will be small talk, hugs, perhaps inquiries about their experience post-scene from their last scene. If they are a new-to-me client we will spend some time getting to know one another. I ask medical history questions. I explain how to use our safe words. I establish the boundaries for our time together, and I give them a chance to express their goals for our session. During this time I may answer questions about my gear, my experience with their kink, or how I would handle emergency situations. It surprises me that not every client asks those questions. Anyway, once those pleasantries are out of the way, the session begins. They're told to strip naked, and to leave their clothes in a specific manner. If they fail, they are told to do it over again. This is my thing, it's one of the few things in a session that is for my benefit. It's how I gauge how present they are. If their clothes wind up on a heap on the floor, it's probably nerves but they are clearly not all in and I won't have that. They will be given their instructions again and I will employ some tricks I know to insure their attention stays focused no matter how nervous they are. I may ask them to repeat back to me each thing I say to them. Or I may walk them through a breathing exercise. In any case I will not be ignored nor will I have a subbie smack their head off the beam in the ceiling because they were hyper focused on the tingly feeling in their privates. Each session is different, each sub has their own interests and the session does revolve around their interest. In no particular order I offer: tease & denial, CBT/NT (cock ball and nipple torture), sensory deprivation & overload, restraints, corporal punishment, impact play, piercings, cross-dressing, service training, etiquette training, chastity & key holding, adult baby/Little play, consensual/non-consent, fire play, puppy/kitten play, hypnosis, foot/shoe/stocking worship and probably a half a dozen things I am forgetting. There will be no more smoking fetish or human ashtray scenes though. There are a handful of things I only engage in with submissives I know well, like hard-core humiliation scenes and blood play. And there are a handful of common BDSM themes that I am just not into so they don't happen in my dungeon. When a scene is finished, I tend to my subs in whatever manner is appropriate, and typically we spend some time talking about the scene before they leave. If I have any reason to think that they are not ready to drive, I insist that they hang out longer & have a bite to eat or whatever until it seems they are back in their head properly.
2. Not judging, is this a vocation? Avocation? Both? People pay you? Yes, yes, yes and yes very well. At the risk of sounding silly, I do very much feel that this is my calling. I know a lot of people from all walks of life. The ones that I recognize as being the happiest are the ones that spend a significant amount of their free time doing what they do for a living. One of my best friends is a midwife, and an educator. When she isn't actively engaged in catching a baby or teaching her official students how to catch a baby, she's talking to someone about catching babies, about teaching, or about holding sacred space for women. She is on her best, right path, doing what she was called to do. I earn a living walking people through their fantasies, taking something that is in their head and turning it into something that happens in the flesh, in real life. When I am not doing this for a fee, I am here writing about it in my blog. I am encouraging my friends to pursue the thing that will make them happy (it's not always sexy fantasies that I walk people through). And when I have down time, private time, time for me, I am to the best of my ability turning my fantasies into realities.
3. U tie people up? Spank them? Mild torture for lack of a better term? Tie people up, yes. Spank them, among other things, yes. Mild torture, hmm. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes I wear gloves that go past my elbows and put down a painter's tarp. 4. Is there sex? There has to be some form of gratification, no? U dont get someone so worked up and then send them home do u? Oh DC, now I know you don't read my blog regularly. In my professional scenes there is no sex. At this time, in my private play dynamics, there is also no sex. I am certain my clients would tell you that they are satisfied. I often get people worked up and send them home. There are many ways gratification can manifest, and yes I totally know we are using code words here let's be blunt & vulgar instead. An orgasm isn't the only way to feel satisfied. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You also can't have an orgasm and also hold that precise moment before when every nerve ending in your body and every wire in your brain is vibrating and screaming this is the very best feeling that has ever been felt by anyone ever. Unless your top orders you to. Calling on that energy, and then intentionally harnessing it and redirecting it is it's own gratification for some.
5. How did u get into this? Go back to my first entry here. 6. Is it men? Women? Both? I see more men than women, but I see both. I also see people who identify as gender fluid, gender bending, non-binary and a host of other terms. And I work with couples.
7. Does it excite you or is it like a job? Your playing a role and when the play is over you come out of character?
It very much excites me, in the way someone who loves their job is excited by it. Again, you really should read the first post. I said in that entry, I do not turn up the volume to become Cassidy Cream, Cassidy Cream dials back the volume to pass as Denise in the real world. This is who I am, all the time.

8. Has it ever gone too far? By too far i mean someone hitting u back, sexual assault, someone stalking u?
I have never had a work situation go too far. I have never had a client actually or try to hit me, I have had incidental & accidental hits and kicks from a sub struggling in a session that I have agreed to allow this sort of play. I have worked in several professional vanilla gigs, there was far more inappropriate sexual contact & innuendo in those settings than there has been in 20 years as a dominatrix or the 10 years as a stripper before this. At parties, occasionally a newbie (or an asshole) doesn't know (or doesn't care) what the appropriate way to approach a woman might be. So in that setting yes, a random groping, swatting or off-color joke happens. But again, compared to going to a vanilla club for a night it's very minor & tame.