My boi wrote this, I want to say for me. It reflects an assignment I gave him. It is just not accurate though to say that it is for me. I give him assignments that I believe bring out or showcase his strengths and his best. In turn, witnessing his best, that is for me. I am never disappointed, his best is beautiful.
We need a name to refer to my boi. We're working on it. I could, I believe I have consent, I could just state his name. He is pretty much as out in his life as I am in mine. Actually, he's kind-of more out in his life than I am in mine. I have no closets left of my own, but the nature of my business mandates that I safe guard other people's closets.
It is unfortunate that some people can not be out. Is this a spot where I need to remember that the language, the concepts that are part of my every day life, are not part of everyone's? The concept of "out" seems so basic to me. I learned the term in like 1987 or so, didn't everyone get the memo? Maybe if you're straight, monogamous, vanilla, believe that gender is binary, a follower of a mainstream religion, and the 101 things that many people aren't and feel unsafe disclosing, maybe you have no idea what it being out means. Congratulations, you're also probably a muggle. No judgment, but no magic for you either. Sorry, I don't usually harbor contempt for muggles, and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But there was some muggle-based friction in my Boi's life tonight, and I am still a bit angry about it. Angry that I couldn't stop it from touching him. It was thankfully nothing physically unsafe, and he handled it beautifully. But nonetheless it upsets me that he had to.
I am not qualified to be the spokesperson for being out. Of the things I listed, the things I claim as my identity are the things that are almost acceptable in polite society. They are things no one could tell by looking at me or a cursory look at my life. If I didn't tell you, I am a single, poly-amorous, pansexual, dominatrix, who believes in many deities, you wouldn't know. Other than being a woman moving about the world, I am not in any significant danger physically or emotionally for being who I am. I can opt to be quiet in any situation where that might not be true. My boi can not make those same statements. Yet he is bold, brave and out anyway.
Catching up with him has been on my To Do List for a week. We each have very busy lives, and our dynamic isn't finalized or formalized. No actual collar or contract, yet. Neither of us were slacking in our responsibilities to each other. He reached out to me to share what had happened, and I was able to carve some time to share with him. We had a great conversation that included clarification of how out he can be about our dynamic, and I was able to state my hopes for it. I want to share some of what I said, "I would like to claim you publicly if that is what you wish. You are one of my favorite humans and in some manner you are my responsibility and you belong to me." Can I share a thing? It was scary to say that out-loud to him. What if that was more than he was seeking? This is one of my closest friends. We do not have a romantic relationship. And yes, here I am using romantic to stand in place of sexual. He enthusiastically consented to my offer. We took a new step not only in our dynamic, but we took a new step out. There is little to no chance of negative blow-back for me, sharing our experiences will likely actually benefit me in my work life. You are enjoying reading this aren't you? I trust that he considered the chance of negative consequences to him, and decided they were an acceptable risk level. That touches my heart. I, his non-partner, non-romantic interest, his friend who wishes to baby, flog, care for & love him, I am worth some level of risk in his vanilla world.
Not everyone can safely be out. Not everyone wishes to be out. I said that recently, didn't I? The first statement saddens me. It is unconscionable to me that we have not evolved to a place where consenting adults can engage in any behavior they wish between them. That we are so emotionally immature as a society that how a person looks, prays, eats, who they love, etc can evoke such fear that one might feel justified in harming another person for it. Not everyone wishes to be out. I respect that, I have a hard time understanding it. Why would anyone choose to be untrue to themselves? Why would anyone choose to deny themselves? I again acknowledge I am not the person to speak on out-ness. I stayed quietly in the closet when there was a small risk of inconvenience to me if I had been out then, and again my closet wasn't even all that risky of a thing. I like pretty girls, big deal, the scariest members of our society are typically turned on by that. I am a dominant women in the BDSM community. Again, not something terribly threatening to the status quo or those who participate in it. I work in the safest corner of the adult industry. But as unqualified as I may be, and as hard as it is for me to accept that it is unsafe for some people to be out, I will continue to guard the secrets, hopes, fantasies and truths that people share with me.
Long Distance
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
Tuesday Q&A: The Things I Love
By now if we have been listening to Mistress, we know Mistress enjoys her floggers. In my opinion, Mistress Cassidy is an artist with them. That being said, Mistress may I ask what would be your next favorite thing to do in your dungeon?
As many times as I have been asked what I enjoy most over the years, (to give you an idea of how many times that is, I've been asked twice this week not including being asked by allan) I have no go-to, stock reply. I love everything I do. Well except writing ads and screening new clients. Aside from ads and screening, I love every single thing I do.
My job is the best job on the planet. I get to hear people's secrets. I get to see people be their most authentic self. Sometimes I help them come to terms with that. In a sense I am acting out my own fantasies. Do I have to remind you my fantasies have little to do with bumping and grinding? Someone who has known me since I was a child said to me the other day that I was always the save the world type. I am so arrogant, and I was so flattered by the observation, but my hubris is not quite that big. I am not saving the world, but sometimes I think I might be helping some clients save themselves. Sometimes my 'cross-dressing' clients are taking their first step towards coming out as trans. Sometimes my clients disclose to me the trauma they have carried their whole lives. Sometimes I see widows, who are lost without their partner. Sometimes I just smack people around who I suspect actually do deserve it. As a child the things I pretended I might be some day were a mommy, a teacher, a dancer, a circus performer, a writer, and a therapist. For real, I had the couch for it and everything. My approach to being a dominatrix, let's me be all of those things and more. I get to play dress-up. I get to use my imagination. Every session is a new playmate who contributes to how this round of make believe will unfold. They seldom unfold in a predictable manner, there is almost always a plot twist. No one talks to me about the weather. In Massachusetts, that in and of itself makes professional domination the best job in the state.
It is 2:30 in the morning. I love writing at this time of day. I love doing anything at this time of day. It does seem to cause me to be even more verbose than my already talkative self. There must be 300 words there, and I haven't answered the question.
Let's try again, I have insomnia.
I love tickling scenes. I don't see nearly enough tickle enthusiasts. When I find the right rhythm of switching back and forth between tickling and a little pain infliction, I can get a sub in such a frenzied state that just placing a finger tip on them makes them jump. I love that. I love paddling scenes. I might lay out a half a dozen implements, then ask the sub to look at them. I watch their face as they do. Which one makes their eyes go big? I love working on two subs at once. It is such a rare treat, but I had it just the other day. I warmed them both up with some playful, light flogging done to- this is so goofy, but it was so much fun, done to Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews singing Supercalifragiliisticexpialidious (even with Google helping I think there's a typo in there). Mary Poppins transitioned into White Zombie, and I asked each of them to watch me work the other so they might know what's in store for them next. They both whimpered for me. One spontaneously thanked me with each blow, and the other kept insisting she needed more spankies. I loved every single second of that scene. I love CBT, which here does not mean cognitive behavior therapy, or maybe it does. The bottoms who ask for that are often very masculine in a traditional sense. My first ever CBT scene was on a man who was in the military. He stood at attention and said thank you Ma'am may I have another each time my knee connected. I was mesmerized by the rainbow of colors his face shifted through, red, maroon, purple, and then quite alarmingly he went pale. He was OK, he was very experienced in this play and was absolutely aware that I was not at the time. I love when I pull off nipple clamps and a sub mistakenly thinks they are getting relief. For those not experienced in extreme nipple play, the worst of the pain comes when the blood flows back in, think about when your foot falls asleep, it is like that. If a really cruel Mistress was to also tweak them around at that moment, a sub might just drop to his knees. I love when a sub drops to their knees. I love sensory deprivation and overload. I love the way a securely blindfolded sub will start to whip their head back & forth when I have created the illusion by soundlessly moving around them that maybe there are two people touching them now. I love trampling. It is the only thing I offer that I feel poses a little risk to me. Standing on a live human, sometimes in high heels, and then walking on a shifting platform is exhilarating. I am very cautious with how I arrange for those scenes, but often as they unfold I find myself wanting to take small risks. I'll start to sway a little to the music, I might bounce and jump a little, and I often find myself laughing in these scenes. Laughing while standing on a human's barrel shaped chest is kind of scary, but I love that too. I love foot worship. It is the only flesh I allow subs to touch. It is a firm boundary, one I have no interest in pushing or altering, that I do not allow "body worship" in my sessions. Some providers do, and I do not judge them for it; but it would not be pleasurable for me. Yet, I do need some intimacy in my scenes. I need to feel a connection. My feet are incredibly sensitive. Allowing a submissive to put their hands on my feet let's me feel some reciprocity in our scene but stays within my comfort zone.
I love keeping this blog. I am an exhibitionist. Do you want to see my everything? Well you can't. You probably can't. Well if you google the right combo of words maybe you can. Go, try, tell me what you find. Today, you can not see my current everything. That level of exposure isn't enough for me anymore. Today you can see more than that, you can see my thoughts. Did we forget that I am also an ego-maniac? I am, and there will be no apologies. I love my thoughts. I love checking my blog stats and seeing that every post I share, the number of people who read not only the current post but all of my posts goes up. Sometimes it's just by a few readers, sometimes it's by a lot. You like reading my thoughts. You dirty, dirty voyeurs. I love voyeurs.
As many times as I have been asked what I enjoy most over the years, (to give you an idea of how many times that is, I've been asked twice this week not including being asked by allan) I have no go-to, stock reply. I love everything I do. Well except writing ads and screening new clients. Aside from ads and screening, I love every single thing I do.
My job is the best job on the planet. I get to hear people's secrets. I get to see people be their most authentic self. Sometimes I help them come to terms with that. In a sense I am acting out my own fantasies. Do I have to remind you my fantasies have little to do with bumping and grinding? Someone who has known me since I was a child said to me the other day that I was always the save the world type. I am so arrogant, and I was so flattered by the observation, but my hubris is not quite that big. I am not saving the world, but sometimes I think I might be helping some clients save themselves. Sometimes my 'cross-dressing' clients are taking their first step towards coming out as trans. Sometimes my clients disclose to me the trauma they have carried their whole lives. Sometimes I see widows, who are lost without their partner. Sometimes I just smack people around who I suspect actually do deserve it. As a child the things I pretended I might be some day were a mommy, a teacher, a dancer, a circus performer, a writer, and a therapist. For real, I had the couch for it and everything. My approach to being a dominatrix, let's me be all of those things and more. I get to play dress-up. I get to use my imagination. Every session is a new playmate who contributes to how this round of make believe will unfold. They seldom unfold in a predictable manner, there is almost always a plot twist. No one talks to me about the weather. In Massachusetts, that in and of itself makes professional domination the best job in the state.
It is 2:30 in the morning. I love writing at this time of day. I love doing anything at this time of day. It does seem to cause me to be even more verbose than my already talkative self. There must be 300 words there, and I haven't answered the question.
Let's try again, I have insomnia.
I love tickling scenes. I don't see nearly enough tickle enthusiasts. When I find the right rhythm of switching back and forth between tickling and a little pain infliction, I can get a sub in such a frenzied state that just placing a finger tip on them makes them jump. I love that. I love paddling scenes. I might lay out a half a dozen implements, then ask the sub to look at them. I watch their face as they do. Which one makes their eyes go big? I love working on two subs at once. It is such a rare treat, but I had it just the other day. I warmed them both up with some playful, light flogging done to- this is so goofy, but it was so much fun, done to Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews singing Supercalifragiliisticexpialidious (even with Google helping I think there's a typo in there). Mary Poppins transitioned into White Zombie, and I asked each of them to watch me work the other so they might know what's in store for them next. They both whimpered for me. One spontaneously thanked me with each blow, and the other kept insisting she needed more spankies. I loved every single second of that scene. I love CBT, which here does not mean cognitive behavior therapy, or maybe it does. The bottoms who ask for that are often very masculine in a traditional sense. My first ever CBT scene was on a man who was in the military. He stood at attention and said thank you Ma'am may I have another each time my knee connected. I was mesmerized by the rainbow of colors his face shifted through, red, maroon, purple, and then quite alarmingly he went pale. He was OK, he was very experienced in this play and was absolutely aware that I was not at the time. I love when I pull off nipple clamps and a sub mistakenly thinks they are getting relief. For those not experienced in extreme nipple play, the worst of the pain comes when the blood flows back in, think about when your foot falls asleep, it is like that. If a really cruel Mistress was to also tweak them around at that moment, a sub might just drop to his knees. I love when a sub drops to their knees. I love sensory deprivation and overload. I love the way a securely blindfolded sub will start to whip their head back & forth when I have created the illusion by soundlessly moving around them that maybe there are two people touching them now. I love trampling. It is the only thing I offer that I feel poses a little risk to me. Standing on a live human, sometimes in high heels, and then walking on a shifting platform is exhilarating. I am very cautious with how I arrange for those scenes, but often as they unfold I find myself wanting to take small risks. I'll start to sway a little to the music, I might bounce and jump a little, and I often find myself laughing in these scenes. Laughing while standing on a human's barrel shaped chest is kind of scary, but I love that too. I love foot worship. It is the only flesh I allow subs to touch. It is a firm boundary, one I have no interest in pushing or altering, that I do not allow "body worship" in my sessions. Some providers do, and I do not judge them for it; but it would not be pleasurable for me. Yet, I do need some intimacy in my scenes. I need to feel a connection. My feet are incredibly sensitive. Allowing a submissive to put their hands on my feet let's me feel some reciprocity in our scene but stays within my comfort zone.
I love keeping this blog. I am an exhibitionist. Do you want to see my everything? Well you can't. You probably can't. Well if you google the right combo of words maybe you can. Go, try, tell me what you find. Today, you can not see my current everything. That level of exposure isn't enough for me anymore. Today you can see more than that, you can see my thoughts. Did we forget that I am also an ego-maniac? I am, and there will be no apologies. I love my thoughts. I love checking my blog stats and seeing that every post I share, the number of people who read not only the current post but all of my posts goes up. Sometimes it's just by a few readers, sometimes it's by a lot. You like reading my thoughts. You dirty, dirty voyeurs. I love voyeurs.
Monday, August 27, 2018
Monday: Where is Mistress this Week?
In less than 2 weeks Mistress Cassidy kicks of her Richmond, Virginia adventure. Also referred to in the vanilla world as Operation Go Home. August has been a whirlwind of work, trips, and more work. Somehow I do not feel exhausted. Oh there have been moments of exhaustion; but there have been far more moments of exhilaration. An idea I had been trying to quiet for years, just wouldn't go away. So I really contemplated it. It seemed it might work. If this happened, if that happened, maybe I could make this work. I believe in fate, in kismet, in the serendipitous nature of life. That was even the name of my farm, Serendipity. And while I believe this is a manifestation of those concepts, that this is the next best and right thing for me, getting here has not been all navel gazing and lounging poolside. I made a plan. I put it in action. I did the work. I want this, I deserve this, and I will have it.
My sessions these past few weeks have been amazing. New submissives, returning clients, an eclectic range of themes; every one of them has just felt more magical. slave allan has been a helpful little slave doing what I have asked of him. I guided my boi through some challenges. I have a new devoted subbie that I am contemplating collaring. My top heard my moments of anxiety, and helped me stay focused through them. It has not been easy, but my efforts have netted results.
Where can one find Mistress this week? Sadly this is the point where I must say if you haven't already confirmed an appointment with me, chances are you will not be able to until I return in October. If you had been penciled in but have failed to confirm, reach out now. I forgot my calendar somewhere last night, fate may have saved your spot for you. I am picking it up momentarily. I am available on a catch me if you can basis for phone and cam sessions. This week is fully booked, and then my attention will be turned only to last visits with those I share DNA with and packing. My return in October is absolute. I am already booking appointments for it. If any Virginia soon-to-be fans have found their way to my blog, now is the time to contact for your time with me in September. I expect to be settled in to my new space by the 15th. Haven't found it yet, but I trust that I will.
Promotions and groups specifically for my Virginia subs will be set-up soon, but in the mean time follow me in the following spaces to stay in the loop.
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Thursday, August 23, 2018
Voyeuristic Thursday: slave allan's reward
You may, as a reward, view up to an hour of adult material of your choosing in the 24 hours following this going live. Note, if you don't see this until it has been live over 24 hours, sorry for your loss the reward will have expired. Also note, what you view will be part of your assignment for next Thursday. So choose a thing you are comfortable disclosing publicly.
Thank you, Mistress, for your reward. I was lucky enough to have read the post before the reward had expired. Being faced with the hard truth that in the near future, when I am once again locked into a contract as Mistress's collared slave. These simple interests are going to be off limits to me. So what do I watch with only one hour that Mistress has granted me? To use a metaphor, I feel as though the virtual collar is on me now. It just doesn't have the virtual lock snapped into place yet. That will come in due time.
Having been given permission to search for adult material. I spent 20 minutes searching Google compiling a library of pictures that I can use in future post for my blog and for Mistress's Q and A. I also like to post pictures on my FL profile. I guess with the ban on adult material, I will have to use something else for pictures once I use up the library. OMG. Mistress it just dawned on me. Will I still be allowed to look into my saved file of images for my blog once I am under contract? I do not have an interest in seeing couples having sex. I prefer teasing pictures. The white feather on one's side or the photo of an ice cube on a defenseless sub's nipple.
Light predicament bondage catches my eye too. The ones where as long as the sub stays on his/her tiptoes. They prevent the endless edging from a vibrator. Or being in the predicament of being tied to a wooden horse. I find myself easily imagining myself as the slave in those pictures. But mostly I enjoy both photos with captions. Or as they are called today, memes. I am particularly fond of femdom, CFNM, and erotic hypnosis caption. I also admire the simple hand-drawn photos. I am astounded how an artist using lines and shading can make a scene jump off the page. Once fully collared these memes will probably be the first violation I will have to confess to. For example, recently I have been searching for memes to send Mistress to help aid her with quitting smoking. But I found myself typing in BDSM Minions. That kind absent mindlessness could find me once again being dressed down on a future Thursday post. Or something worse. So I save several in those first 20 minutes for future use if I am allowed too.
Rationing my remaining time, I decide to listen to one last hypnosis file. I had to forego my favorite file that technically is a JOI theme script. But with my particular male member refusing to make an appearance. I substituted my family jewels to tormenting my nipples. Sadly this file was too long to listen to with my remaining time. So I listened to a 22-minute piece about nipples. In the introduction part the session, the hypnotist claims that with continuous listening my nipples will become the center of my sexual being. It is suggested that I will crave nipple play over any other stimulation. A wonderful thought for someone with E.D. I enjoy listing to the sultry sounding voice and find the piece quite relaxing. As to the claim of making my nipple replace my penis as the central sexual focus on my body is still up for debate.
With only 18 minutes remaining I have two things I want to do. First I want to write a new post on nipple play. Sadly I am having a problem to come up with a theme. Hoping for inspiration I did a Google search. I found one description that sounded promising. It was a 54-minute video clip. Of course, knowing I couldn't watch the full thing so I started leapfrogging through it. Unfortunately, I didn't find any new inspiration for my blog, But the scenes that I did watch were interesting. The clip was not what I call the fluffy production type. This one was rawer. For all, I know it could be a couple who uploaded one of their scenes online. Trying to keep to my interest it was a femdom, CFNM video. In the video I was introduced to a new nipple device that I did not know of. The Mistress called it a nipple stretcher. He being gaged had little to say. These things are about 8 inches long with a metal arch. Through the arch is a threaded rod which is attached to a clover clamp. The slave in the video wore them by have the clamps attached to his nipples, which are stretched by the threaded rod, pulling the device tighter to his chest. Periodically through the video, the Mistress would twist the threaded rod a couple of revolutions pulling the slave's nipples that much more. Oh what a lucky slave.
With only seven minutes remaining, I gave up the video to read a short story I found the internet. This one is a short tale about a newlywed lady who thought she had received a gift from her husband that was away on a business trip. Upon opening the box she discovers a chastity belt. Which is of course equipped with the expected butt plug and vibrator attachments. There is a love note attached saying that if you love me you will wear this for me until I return. And to contact him once she put it on. Excitedly the wife puts the device on and locks it. She then quickly calls and tells her husband that she put it on. But instead of a fun conversation with her lover. She is greeted with an evil laugh from the man that she married. He goes on to tell her that the relationship and marriage were all staged and that she had been selected to becomes a sex slave to this multinational group. She still thinks that he's playing a game until he asked if she read the instructions. She reads a welcoming message to her new life as a slave, followed by a lengthy contract which states that by locking the device she has agreed with the terms of the contract. The story then goes on to tell about her training by what turns out to be a remote control belt at the command of some mystery woman. During the training stage of the story, the slave is taught obedience by receiving multiple hours of edging or forced orgasms by the chastity belt for not complying. The rest of the story is about the different people she's required to submit to.
So that is how I spent the hour that Mistress Cassidy rewarded me with. I am still stuck for an idea to use in a nipple tormenting post for my blog. I am open to suggestions.
Thank you once again, Mistress, for allowing me to be part of your Thursday blog.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Doubling Down
It does. It does so very much. Almost 10 years ago, in November of 2018, I moved to Richmond, Virginia. I arrived on my 36th birthday, which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year. It was a poorly planned move. I had been intending to move to Maine. Don't ask how one ends up in Virginia when one intends to move to Maine. These things happen in my universe. Poor planning aside, it is among the Top 10 Best Decisions I have ever made. I found a community, my tribe, I felt I was home. My business took a serious nose-dive during the years I lived there though. The recession was in full swing. I was busy with vanilla responsibilities. If I had stayed in Virginia, I would probably now be engaged in a full-time muggle gig, hopefully with a dynamic or two that kept me entertained at least. Why plan? Things happen when they are meant to happen. If you point yourself more or less in the direction you want to go, you'll probably wind up there. Or you'll wind up somewhere better. Well that's how it works out for me. So far.
I hold many conflicting beliefs. Everyone does, I just embrace them. I love to plan. I obsessively write lists. They're color-coded by the day of the week. The portion where I write To Call:, that portion is alphabetized and sub-categorized by relation to me. Family first, personal second, business third. I have a detailed, high-lighted, multi-listed, agenda titled "Operation Go Home". It outlines my budget for returning to Virginia, who I have to see before I leave, finding the right space and how to utilize said space when I find it. At the half way point between when I said out-loud this is what I am doing next, and when I intend to do it, things are just shy of completely on target. So close I am splitting hairs to say that it is not 100% on target. I am to the spot where if nothing else came together properly, I can still make this happen. I'll be working with a shoe string & Ramen noodle budget, but that does not scare me. I have done more with less in the past. It seems the universe is enthusiastically endorsing my plans.
This is what scares me, just a little. Things are coming together perfectly. A small hiccup or two, but really green lights at every intersection. It is not just the universe smiling upon me. I am doing my part. I am working, and I am putting everything I have in. The past few weeks have been hard. Over and over again, I have held cards that I have no idea their value and pushed all my chips in. Sorry, most of you are not privy to my poker analogies. Inside joke. I have no poker face, I don't even know how to play poker. There, I tipped my hand entirely. That is my approach. Hey, here's what I got, I trust you to tell me if I won. The pot keeps getting bigger, the risk higher and I am going to keep playing the way that works for me. Everyone knows my method now. The universe knows my strategy now.
What if this last push is a mistake?
What if the scene in Richmond is still barely breathing even now in this (almost) post-recession economy? What if my networking abilities are not as strong as I believe them to be? What if I have all the parts but I put them together wrong? I am a planner. I have a list. I'm human, I make mistakes. What if this is one of them?
Who cares?
I want this and I am going to have it. If it all goes up in flames, I'll break out the marshmallows. I am a risk-taker. I improvise.
I hold contradicting beliefs, but I embrace them.
Mistress Cassidy V. Cream is going to Richmond on September 7th, 2018. The most perfect space will make itself known to me within a week. By September 15th some variation of my new dungeon will be ready for sessions. I will be back in Massachusetts before October 15th, to tend to details and pack. October 15th through November 15th I will be sessioning at Safe Haven.
Mistress is doubling down, and inviting my subs and would-be subs to do the same. It is your goal to please me, yes? Refer back to the schedule I outlined above, for the remainder of this time in Mass, my first block of time in Richmond and my next return to Mass, clients who send their deposits now will be credited double their deposit, and those who prepay in full, I will double their time. Standard tributes, no other special applies. A deposit of $50 per hour will be credited at $100, or prepay by the hour for double the time, up to 6 hours for 3 hours tribute. Double time applies to text, phone and cam sessions as well. Shoot me an email cassidycream15@gmail.com with your interests, a quick synopsis of your previous experiences and when you hope to schedule your session. Be prepared to send your deposit or tribute as soon as I approve your appointment via PayPal. Time wasters, will not be indulged for a moment.
Voyeuristic Thursday: slave allan Public Virtual Punishment
It is Sunday, August 12th and Mistress is at Safe Haven enjoying the sounds of another rain storm. I love these moments. I have this odd relationship with time. I am very much an in the moment sort of person, but I also love to reflect and I love to look ahead. Revisit the best, daydream about the future, but I do not get so caught in either that I miss the moment I am in. I love that I am typing on Sunday a thing that will not be seen until Thursday. There's this silly, little risk, what if things do not unfold how you wish. It might be embarrassing. If I say I am going to do a thing and then the thing doesn't happen, I might look like I don't keep my word. I might look like I do not know what I am talking about. Those are not things I take lightly. My word is my wand. My reputation is of the utmost value to me. But you know what? Things typically work out how I wish. I do not enjoy it, but if I have to I can get past being slightly embarrassed, there are far worst things one can be. I know that people who know me know that most of the time, I know what I am talking about. I know myself better than anyone. When this posts, I'll be four days without a cigarette. I haven't yet written the post for tomorrow, Monday. I am contemplating making the announcement in that post. Accountability. I created it already here, but quitting is awful. I did it just a little bit ago. I remember quite clearly where my pitfalls were. Extra accountability won't hurt. Let's see how this unfolds.
The following is slave allan's response to having been chastised in his last post. He is a good sub, he knows that I recognize how much help he is to me. Yet there are things he could work on, things I need to guide him through. It is a funny thing, he needs to shelf his fantasies to have them. You can not have your cake and eat it too. I never cared for that expression as a child. It seemed stupid, what else would one do with cake? I looked up the history of the expression years ago, when google became a thing. While the expression is in English, a thing is lost in translation of time. It means just what I questioned, it is just said in an archaic way. It should be said something like, one can not eat cake now and also save it for later.
Slave allan asked for a fantasy to be his new reality. He will have to continuously choose if he wants it now or later. If you missed it, slave allan is a long, long, long distance sub. He can opt to withhold information from me, he can opt to pretend to do at least some of the things I will ask of him. He could opt to pretend to experience his fantasy, or he will choose to actually surrender his ideas and have his fantasy. Will I know the difference? I might. allan and I have been friends for I believe over a year now. He was already my collared long distance sub for several months. I know his writing style well, I may catch changes in it if he were choosing to fake it. But truthfully, I probably won't. If he wished to simply read my instructions, and file them in his- well let's not be vulgar, his ***** bank, he could probably write a convincing enough emails that there wouldn't be a tell. It would be his loss. He asked for real, I will deliver real. If he squanders it that is on him.
I on the other hand have made my choices. I will always have my cake now.
The following is slave allan's response to having been chastised in his last post. He is a good sub, he knows that I recognize how much help he is to me. Yet there are things he could work on, things I need to guide him through. It is a funny thing, he needs to shelf his fantasies to have them. You can not have your cake and eat it too. I never cared for that expression as a child. It seemed stupid, what else would one do with cake? I looked up the history of the expression years ago, when google became a thing. While the expression is in English, a thing is lost in translation of time. It means just what I questioned, it is just said in an archaic way. It should be said something like, one can not eat cake now and also save it for later.
Slave allan asked for a fantasy to be his new reality. He will have to continuously choose if he wants it now or later. If you missed it, slave allan is a long, long, long distance sub. He can opt to withhold information from me, he can opt to pretend to do at least some of the things I will ask of him. He could opt to pretend to experience his fantasy, or he will choose to actually surrender his ideas and have his fantasy. Will I know the difference? I might. allan and I have been friends for I believe over a year now. He was already my collared long distance sub for several months. I know his writing style well, I may catch changes in it if he were choosing to fake it. But truthfully, I probably won't. If he wished to simply read my instructions, and file them in his- well let's not be vulgar, his ***** bank, he could probably write a convincing enough emails that there wouldn't be a tell. It would be his loss. He asked for real, I will deliver real. If he squanders it that is on him.
I on the other hand have made my choices. I will always have my cake now.
Having been dressed down
Hello Mistress Cassidy.
I was not sure whether to directly post this in the comments on your post. Or send it here for you to view before posting it. I finally choose the safest route by sending it here. Once again, Mistress, I give my consent for you to use this for another guest blog posting.
Yes, Mistress, we are crystal clear on where I stand. I wished to be a slave, and a slave I will be. I feel that after reading your blog and your comments I owe you a thank you, Mistress. Not only did you point out a positive point that made me feel proud inside. You also provide a reality check to what I'm getting myself into. You mentioned in a message that you were going to publicly dress me down on your blog. And a scolding you gave me. The verbal tongue lashing
you provided was probably just as stinging as any lashing I could have received. You are getting through to me Mistress. I am learning. As of now, I am discarding all of my preconceived ideas and fantasies of what a collared slave should be. I plan to take what you are going to teach me and apply it to the process of becoming a better slave. My goal Mistress is to try and get more rewarding praise, than facing another scolding or worse.
you provided was probably just as stinging as any lashing I could have received. You are getting through to me Mistress. I am learning. As of now, I am discarding all of my preconceived ideas and fantasies of what a collared slave should be. I plan to take what you are going to teach me and apply it to the process of becoming a better slave. My goal Mistress is to try and get more rewarding praise, than facing another scolding or worse.
I would like to say sorry for asking you to restate what you have offered me. I am extremely proud that you have offered me a collar again. Plus I am deeply humbled by you providing a task-based tribute. It wasn't until I saw it in words (collared, personal submissive) that I understood what you were offering. I will soon be composing another letter proclaiming I would like to wear your collar. Plus preparing myself to sign a slave contract.
No Mistress, I hope you do not reconsider your offer. I wish there was a way for me to convey an image of me on my knees pleading and offering you anything. Just so you wouldn't reconsider. Yes, Mistress. I have not asked about the task I will be doing. I didn't bring them up before because I did not want to bother you by asking about them, and truthfully I was afraid too. I presume we will be talking about them before signing the final contract. As a sub and presumably as a collared slave. I am extremely grateful with how much or how little time you are able to give me. I have to realize that you are a busy woman, and have a business to run. I have read through your template for the slave contract in your previous post, it looks fantastic. It is also an honor that I'm one of the people being considered for the LDR collar.
I should wrap up with a final thought. Just like an RL slave receiving a flogging, I will take the sting from my verbal flogging, and bask in the knowledge that I have an Owner who cares about me.
Thank you allan.
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Q&A Tuesday: Floggers and Impact Toys
This past week was a bit hectic for me. Typically allan sends me a list of questions, I choose which I want to answer, and short hand my responses. He types, formats and returns it to me to post. It is a system that has worked well and saved me quite a bit of time. Time got away from me, I didn't have my response prepared and at the end of the day, I am a reasonable person. slave allan has vanilla commitments that I would not wish to take a moment from, it would be both unreasonable and unfair to demand that he complete a task in less than half the time I normally allow. So I told him I would do the entry myself, and gave him a little time off. He must have been sitting at the computer because his response came quickly. It is the portion that is in bold print. I am certain he didn't see what he did. Do you see what he did? I have said it a couple times here, give up your ideas of what you think this should look like. Did you say to me that an assignment to spank yourself would lack suspense? The implication clear that the lack of suspense would be disappointing. Your satisfaction in the assignments I give you is not my concern. Satisfying me is your concern. I happened to have had a conversation just the other day with a sub who has an ongoing directive to flog herself on a certain day, in her top's presence. The idea spoke to me, and I pinned it for future use. Seems it is the future now allan. Pick a day that fits your vanilla schedule, find an implement- might I suggest a ruler or a wooden spoon. Inner thigh, while seated, 5 slaps for now, same thigh for all 5. Every week. I may ask you to video it for me. Find your satisfaction or deal with your disappointment, but do not disappoint me slave.
I will admit that I never had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of a flogging. I know there are several impact toys at your disposal. Other than the floggers that you seem to enjoy so much. What other impact implements do you favor? And why do you prefer them?
That's the impact toy one right? Sadly that is one part of a LDR. Even if
you told me to spank myself. It would lack suspense knowing when each
blow was coming. Oh well one can dream. I look forward to reading your
post.
Now then, on to the questions.
First of all I love flogging. I love watching other's yield a flogger. I love watching a body receive a flogging at the hand of another. I love a watching a new player swing a flogger the first time. Will they go over or under? Side to side? Do they instantly have a sense of balance, or does it take a few swings for them to get the feel of it? I love dancing with Dreamer and Dancer, my velvety soft purple and red pigskin floggers, that I requested of Mister Pain that they have extra thick handles, and be as full as cheerleader pompoms. I love putting both in one hand, giving them a twist & bringing them down, surprising a body with their ability to give a little sting after dozens of teasing, massaging landings. I love the little drops of plasma I can bring to the surface with a sub that enjoys play of that nature. I love working wax off a body with my easy to clean after rubber flogger. I love teasing myself with the return of a swing in a public scene. I am actually, really going to pause here for a moment and give dreamer and dancer a little attention. I do that often when I am alone in my dungeon. I just swing them in the air, or aimed at the empty bench, or cross. Does my aim become more precise as I go on or do I wear out quickly and get sloppy after a few songs? The answer is different depending on the day.
That was wonderful. Invigorating today. I suppose at 12:42am, invigorating might prove to be inconvenient when I do decide to lay my head on my pillow.
Mistress <3's Floggers.
I also have many other pieces I love. I have a beautiful, well composed collection of gear that is versatile, and durable. Leather paddles, fur-backed paddles, Pain Sticks, slappers, crops, rods, a rug beater replica done in red coated wire with a copper handle. I am sure there are many pieces that I am forgetting. Yet I found myself lamenting to a Top at Pain's party Friday, that I miss having a collection of pervertables. There are a few in the dungeon, standard stuff, wooden spoons, a shoe horn that belongs to Pain, and a couple of train bumpers. When I was first starting I was blessed with a sub who was both willing to be a guinea pig to an aspiring Dominatrix, and to generously help begin my toy collection. I was a dominatrix for several years before Pain and I met, and he too generously helped to grow my collection with his truly beautiful and durable pieces. I have cuffs that are in perfect working order that actually predate our relationship, his work. In between generous first client and dating a master leather craftsman, I fleshed out my collection with many pervertables. I had a pair of pink, dish scrubbing brushes that fit perfectly in my hand and instead of holding dish soap I would fill them with oil or ice water. I had several back scratches of various materials and styles. I had a metal shoe horn and a leather razor strop. Somewhere I do still have a pair of note holding paper weights. Two plastic blocks, with a spiral of metal that ends in alligator clips. I would attach fishing weights to the spiral for subbies who craved intense NT. Oh, and I had a light up toy baton. I bounced that off of dozens of bottoms. I have watched some amazingly intense scenes at Twizted Acres that were done with a collection exclusively made of pervertables. There is this adorable Top who I watched alternate between wailing on and rolling against a bottom with a rolled up no-slip, bath mat. It was brilliant, and creative. The beauty and the downside of a pervertable is that they are typically repurposed, inexpensive items one might find in their home already. They are not typically durable. They may be hard to clean properly. They may not look the way a Top wants their collection to look. There wasn't an exact moment when I said, OK I am too cool now to use a pervertable, but at some point in the past 20 years replacing pieces as they wore out fell off my radar. I think my new dungeon will have a fun,little collection of pervertables.
I think I strayed from the questions this week. Mistress is tired now. This posts on Tuesday, but I am writing it on Sunday. In a moment I am going to light my last smoke, and go gift Safety Dave with the ones I have left.
I will admit that I never had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of a flogging. I know there are several impact toys at your disposal. Other than the floggers that you seem to enjoy so much. What other impact implements do you favor? And why do you prefer them?
That's the impact toy one right? Sadly that is one part of a LDR. Even if
you told me to spank myself. It would lack suspense knowing when each
blow was coming. Oh well one can dream. I look forward to reading your
post.
Now then, on to the questions.
First of all I love flogging. I love watching other's yield a flogger. I love watching a body receive a flogging at the hand of another. I love a watching a new player swing a flogger the first time. Will they go over or under? Side to side? Do they instantly have a sense of balance, or does it take a few swings for them to get the feel of it? I love dancing with Dreamer and Dancer, my velvety soft purple and red pigskin floggers, that I requested of Mister Pain that they have extra thick handles, and be as full as cheerleader pompoms. I love putting both in one hand, giving them a twist & bringing them down, surprising a body with their ability to give a little sting after dozens of teasing, massaging landings. I love the little drops of plasma I can bring to the surface with a sub that enjoys play of that nature. I love working wax off a body with my easy to clean after rubber flogger. I love teasing myself with the return of a swing in a public scene. I am actually, really going to pause here for a moment and give dreamer and dancer a little attention. I do that often when I am alone in my dungeon. I just swing them in the air, or aimed at the empty bench, or cross. Does my aim become more precise as I go on or do I wear out quickly and get sloppy after a few songs? The answer is different depending on the day.
That was wonderful. Invigorating today. I suppose at 12:42am, invigorating might prove to be inconvenient when I do decide to lay my head on my pillow.
Mistress <3's Floggers.
I also have many other pieces I love. I have a beautiful, well composed collection of gear that is versatile, and durable. Leather paddles, fur-backed paddles, Pain Sticks, slappers, crops, rods, a rug beater replica done in red coated wire with a copper handle. I am sure there are many pieces that I am forgetting. Yet I found myself lamenting to a Top at Pain's party Friday, that I miss having a collection of pervertables. There are a few in the dungeon, standard stuff, wooden spoons, a shoe horn that belongs to Pain, and a couple of train bumpers. When I was first starting I was blessed with a sub who was both willing to be a guinea pig to an aspiring Dominatrix, and to generously help begin my toy collection. I was a dominatrix for several years before Pain and I met, and he too generously helped to grow my collection with his truly beautiful and durable pieces. I have cuffs that are in perfect working order that actually predate our relationship, his work. In between generous first client and dating a master leather craftsman, I fleshed out my collection with many pervertables. I had a pair of pink, dish scrubbing brushes that fit perfectly in my hand and instead of holding dish soap I would fill them with oil or ice water. I had several back scratches of various materials and styles. I had a metal shoe horn and a leather razor strop. Somewhere I do still have a pair of note holding paper weights. Two plastic blocks, with a spiral of metal that ends in alligator clips. I would attach fishing weights to the spiral for subbies who craved intense NT. Oh, and I had a light up toy baton. I bounced that off of dozens of bottoms. I have watched some amazingly intense scenes at Twizted Acres that were done with a collection exclusively made of pervertables. There is this adorable Top who I watched alternate between wailing on and rolling against a bottom with a rolled up no-slip, bath mat. It was brilliant, and creative. The beauty and the downside of a pervertable is that they are typically repurposed, inexpensive items one might find in their home already. They are not typically durable. They may be hard to clean properly. They may not look the way a Top wants their collection to look. There wasn't an exact moment when I said, OK I am too cool now to use a pervertable, but at some point in the past 20 years replacing pieces as they wore out fell off my radar. I think my new dungeon will have a fun,little collection of pervertables.
I think I strayed from the questions this week. Mistress is tired now. This posts on Tuesday, but I am writing it on Sunday. In a moment I am going to light my last smoke, and go gift Safety Dave with the ones I have left.
Monday, August 13, 2018
Reflecting and Looking Forward
Last week was a great week. I saw two new submissives. Each very different, but each very enjoyable for me. Do you like to see the things Mistress finds challenging? There's not many, but this is one of them. I am an exhibitionist. I had two great sessions. I want to share every last salacious detail, I may even have photos of said details. But alas, I do not have consent to share such details and my ethics out way my kink. No gossip for you. Know what makes accepting that easier? I am also an apologetic tease.
There was Mister Pain's Fire and Ice party here at Safe Haven Friday. Did you miss it? Oh, sorry for you. There are things I can share here though, some things anyway. I picked up platypus stuffies for some of my favorite littles.
Yes they are puppy toys. There's a lot of cross over in the scene and Mistress loves a pervertable. Let it be known, if you see a pretty girl with a platypus stuffie, she might be one of my pets, and she is most definitely a woman I am very fond of. A new guest at the party greeted me with a huge smile and, "Oh, you're the famous Mistress Cassidy.". Or maybe he said infamous. ToMAYto, tomato. He went on to say that he has known of me since I sessioned in Raynham. Do you know when my dungeon was in Raynham? 1999 through 2002. Feed my ego subbie boy, we can be friends forever. I don't know where it came from, but I am feeling rather playful now. I could swear I was a little tired when I put my fingers on the keys. More seriously, he was a great guest and I wish I had had a little more free time to spend with him. How closely do you pay attention admirer from 1999? Get in touch before I head to Virginia. There was another great first time guest, with a great name. I do hope he's a fan as well and I wish him every happiness on his upcoming adventure. What else? My Hazey was here, but she had to leave early. Silly girl is always over-committing herself. With Hazey's early departure I found myself in need of a body for my ice and wax show. A regular at our events and a known face in the local scene graciously offered himself. It was wonderful to engage in some of my favorite play with a new-to-me body. Thank you again Knotty. Mr Pain threw a great party, Safety Dave is an accommodating venue owner and Miss Sunshyne as always reminds me why her scene name is her scene name. Thank you for keeping me supplied with chocolate, circus music and whatever other unreasonable requests I made of you.
Now onto the upcoming week:
There was Mister Pain's Fire and Ice party here at Safe Haven Friday. Did you miss it? Oh, sorry for you. There are things I can share here though, some things anyway. I picked up platypus stuffies for some of my favorite littles.
Yes they are puppy toys. There's a lot of cross over in the scene and Mistress loves a pervertable. Let it be known, if you see a pretty girl with a platypus stuffie, she might be one of my pets, and she is most definitely a woman I am very fond of. A new guest at the party greeted me with a huge smile and, "Oh, you're the famous Mistress Cassidy.". Or maybe he said infamous. ToMAYto, tomato. He went on to say that he has known of me since I sessioned in Raynham. Do you know when my dungeon was in Raynham? 1999 through 2002. Feed my ego subbie boy, we can be friends forever. I don't know where it came from, but I am feeling rather playful now. I could swear I was a little tired when I put my fingers on the keys. More seriously, he was a great guest and I wish I had had a little more free time to spend with him. How closely do you pay attention admirer from 1999? Get in touch before I head to Virginia. There was another great first time guest, with a great name. I do hope he's a fan as well and I wish him every happiness on his upcoming adventure. What else? My Hazey was here, but she had to leave early. Silly girl is always over-committing herself. With Hazey's early departure I found myself in need of a body for my ice and wax show. A regular at our events and a known face in the local scene graciously offered himself. It was wonderful to engage in some of my favorite play with a new-to-me body. Thank you again Knotty. Mr Pain threw a great party, Safety Dave is an accommodating venue owner and Miss Sunshyne as always reminds me why her scene name is her scene name. Thank you for keeping me supplied with chocolate, circus music and whatever other unreasonable requests I made of you.
Now onto the upcoming week:
I debated if I was going to share it here. Accountability overruled risk of embarrassment and the promise of a surprise. I am horrible with surprises, and I will go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment. Of course I am going to share it here. I am quitting again tomorrow. I have worked through my disappointment in how it went the last time, and I recognize now the things that helped and the things that did not. I am embracing my OCD tendencies. There are 7 vapes pictured, one that fits perfectly in my hand, makes an obnoxious cloud and is filled with my favorite strawberry milk flavored oil. Two that are similar and filled with my back-up flavors. Three mouth to lung devices filled with high nicotine oil for when the cravings are physical. And one special let's take a nap device filled with a completely legal here substance that is not nicotine. I am prepared, motivated and ready to do this. For those who may wish to be helpful I have a couple of ideas. Share my promotional stuff if you can. I know, you can't on Facebook so many muggles, but you can on Fetlife. I can't sit at the keyboard for the first few days. I need to not lose my presence online while I focus on real life. If you need to reach me, text is best. For the first week or so, please my wonderful smoking friends, I promise to do whatever you ask of me to assist you if you're ever trying to quit and to not bug you about quitting when I am successful, please say no to me when I ask. I'll do my best not to ask, but it is so hard. Encouragement in the form of flowers and chocolates is never a bad idea either. I will never say, oh no really I have too much chocolate and no place to put more flowers.
What else is on the agenda? My plans to go to Virginia at the beginning of September are coming together perfectly. The universe is giving me everything I asked for and I am checking off goals daily. I am still available for sessions with new and returning submissives, but I am going to take a pass at parties this weekend. A week smoke-free is too fragile to hang out with my smoking friends, or worse smoking strangers who I haven't asked nicely to say no to me. I am virtual dungeon hunting, packing and super excited to see how every thing I am doing is bringing me measurably closer to what I wish for, it confirms for me that this was a great idea.
There is a post written, scheduled to go live Thursday. Before this day is over, another will be added for Tuesday. There are few more things on my Pre-Monday To Do List, and I trust that by the time this post is live, all will be good and right in the universe again. After all Monday is the very best day of the week.
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Thursday, August 9, 2018
Voyeuristic Thursday: slave allan's August Goals
The following is slave allan's assignment for the week. I wish for voyeuristic Thursday to be a thing, and this is my universe so now it is. So add read Mistress Cassidy's blog to your Thursday To Do List. allan's words will be in black, mine will be italicized and in purple, defiant purple. That is an insider joke between my sort of or once was metamour, Miss Sunshyne and I. Perhaps if you beg I might be inclined to share that story another day.
For the first time in a long time I am sitting at my keyboard typing out
sentences for a topic that I didn't come up with. This time I have a direct
order form Mistress Cassidy, and if I don't want to end up on KP duty. I
better do it. But before I get started. There is something I would like to
say formally.
*Yes!* Mistress Cassidy. I would like to be your collared slave.
Okay that is one item off the list. You see Mistress has task me with
providing my personal and BDSM goal for the next month. My proclamation was
my foremost goal for both personal and BDSM.
Alright lets start with personal stuff as the appetiser. And keep the BDSM
for the main course, And since losing some weight is always part of my
personal goal. I will have to pass on dessert :)
<Mistress Cassidy opted to edit for privacy>
<Note to slave allan: I have talked to you about that before, I will remind you of where the boundary is on that subject>
I am blessed to be living halfway between two of Canada's bigger
cities. Both the country's second biggest city Montreal, and the nations
capital, Ottawa, is an hour drive from us. I want to take the family to the
top of Mount Royal in Montreal. Especially at night. The lights of the
city are breath
taking. Staying with Montreal, all hands would enjoy spending time at
the historic Old Port of Montreal. While at the Port I would like to
take everyone
on a Dinner Cruise. That one is a big personal goal.
Now on another day I would like to
pile everyone into the van and visit Ottawa. We would visit the
parliament buildings. While we're on parliament hill we will go up to
the top of The Peace Tower, and if we are lucky, we might even witness
The Changing of the Guard ceremony. I personally want to visit the
newly renovated Museum of Science and Technology. And it wouldn't be a
family trip to Ottawa if we didn't stop at the airport to watch the planes
takeoff and land.
The other thing I want to do is expand on my knowledge of online
commerce. There is money to be made online. <edit>. I didn't do much in the month of
July. This month I want to make time to launch a few ideas that I saw
on YouTube. I have found 2 individual on YouTube that I find genuine and honest.
They both release videos about different sites that they have tried
and made money from. Let me point out these are not pie in sky
opportunities. These are small task jobs that pay you for your work.
For me the amount I earn is based on my efforts, and I want to apply
myself more. So over the next month I want to choose two sites. Learn
how to use them, and see if I can generate some revenue. I also want
to write more content for my BDSM blog and start a vanilla blog about
my journey into the online market. I guess for the next month that's it for
my personal goals.
BDSM goals for the month. I mentioned the most important one at the
beginning of this post. I also want to apply myself more for when
Mistress Cassidy ask me to do some training. There is also the new
contract to take in to account. I need to be ready both mental and
physically whenever Mistress Cassidy present me with it. I want to
find the necklace that represent my collar from my last contract. I
might be required to have it again. Working at improving my
schedule is important. So I can provide Mistress Cassidy time to do
my task-based tribute. And silly me. I can't remember where I hid
those lacey panties.
At one time Mistress and I talked about recording a hypnosis session.
I would like to find out if Mistress still wants to do the recording.
I am not getting myself excited about a hypnosis session. It is summer
time and Mistress is very busy. <edit> A. So after establishing if
Mistress is even still interested. We can figure out when to do a
session. I also need to retrain my mind this next month, to the fact that
I have agreed to become someone's slave. I have to also remember that Mistress
Cassidy will once again be my owner, and I have to obey her. Also this month I
have to practice what I promised in a previous post. I need to stop
fantasizing about
what I believe a collared slave is.
So a lot of this month's goals are learning how to think like a
collared slave. This is an important goal to remember. I am Mistress's
slave, and my job is to help her,
and to see that she is happy with my efforts. Also before the month
is up. I hope to have replace my thinking, that a punishment is fun. A
punishment comes from making Mistress upset. Which goes against my primary
objective of keeping Mistress happy. I want, to the best of my
abilities to stay away from being punished. I also think this goal is
important. Too enjoy this experience.
<I'd like to state here that this is a thing that is different in an online dynamic than one in real time with me. I believe I have said it here before, I say it in real life often. I do not hurt people out of anger or frustration, I hurt people because I enjoy it. Innocent, non-pathological sadism; armchair self-diagnosis. An online dynamic is different. I have changed my approach to online dynamics, in truth until about 2 years ago I did not engage in virtual domination. One might mistakenly think it is easier than real time play. There's no set up or clean up, and I do appreciate that. Aside from that though, it really is not easier and in some ways it is far more challenging. I can swing a flogger for hours, body after body and dance when I am finished. It is typically 2 days before the adrenaline flood wears off and I need to rest. An online dynamic requires creativity, requires a different type of thought process and presentation to keep both the engagement of my sub and my own. So yes, in virtual play a sub will be punished for disobeying or disappointing me. If I can not have the reward of gifting my sub with a physical experience that I enjoy, then except few if any disappointments and I will take what pleasure I can find via a virtual punishment when there is a need for one.>
So these are the goals I have to work and improve on over the next
month. Lastly this month I want to plant the seeds to establishing my
true BDSM identity.
Bye
A little wordy slave, but as you didn't have a word limit it is acceptable. Over all a good job allan. By the time this actually publishes I believe you will be locked back into a contract and as you know you will no longer be able to peruse erotica or smut. You may, as a reward, view up to an hour of adult material of your choosing in the 24 hours following this going live. Note, if you don't see this until it has been live over 24 hours, sorry for your loss the reward will have expired. Also note, what you view will be part of your assignment for next Thursday. So choose a thing you are comfortable disclosing publicly.
For the first time in a long time I am sitting at my keyboard typing out
sentences for a topic that I didn't come up with. This time I have a direct
order form Mistress Cassidy, and if I don't want to end up on KP duty. I
better do it. But before I get started. There is something I would like to
say formally.
*Yes!* Mistress Cassidy. I would like to be your collared slave.
Okay that is one item off the list. You see Mistress has task me with
providing my personal and BDSM goal for the next month. My proclamation was
my foremost goal for both personal and BDSM.
Alright lets start with personal stuff as the appetiser. And keep the BDSM
for the main course, And since losing some weight is always part of my
personal goal. I will have to pass on dessert :)
<Mistress Cassidy opted to edit for privacy>
<Note to slave allan: I have talked to you about that before, I will remind you of where the boundary is on that subject>
I am blessed to be living halfway between two of Canada's bigger
cities. Both the country's second biggest city Montreal, and the nations
capital, Ottawa, is an hour drive from us. I want to take the family to the
top of Mount Royal in Montreal. Especially at night. The lights of the
city are breath
taking. Staying with Montreal, all hands would enjoy spending time at
the historic Old Port of Montreal. While at the Port I would like to
take everyone
on a Dinner Cruise. That one is a big personal goal.
Now on another day I would like to
pile everyone into the van and visit Ottawa. We would visit the
parliament buildings. While we're on parliament hill we will go up to
the top of The Peace Tower, and if we are lucky, we might even witness
The Changing of the Guard ceremony. I personally want to visit the
newly renovated Museum of Science and Technology. And it wouldn't be a
family trip to Ottawa if we didn't stop at the airport to watch the planes
takeoff and land.
The other thing I want to do is expand on my knowledge of online
commerce. There is money to be made online. <edit>. I didn't do much in the month of
July. This month I want to make time to launch a few ideas that I saw
on YouTube. I have found 2 individual on YouTube that I find genuine and honest.
They both release videos about different sites that they have tried
and made money from. Let me point out these are not pie in sky
opportunities. These are small task jobs that pay you for your work.
For me the amount I earn is based on my efforts, and I want to apply
myself more. So over the next month I want to choose two sites. Learn
how to use them, and see if I can generate some revenue. I also want
to write more content for my BDSM blog and start a vanilla blog about
my journey into the online market. I guess for the next month that's it for
my personal goals.
BDSM goals for the month. I mentioned the most important one at the
beginning of this post. I also want to apply myself more for when
Mistress Cassidy ask me to do some training. There is also the new
contract to take in to account. I need to be ready both mental and
physically whenever Mistress Cassidy present me with it. I want to
find the necklace that represent my collar from my last contract. I
might be required to have it again. Working at improving my
schedule is important. So I can provide Mistress Cassidy time to do
my task-based tribute. And silly me. I can't remember where I hid
those lacey panties.
At one time Mistress and I talked about recording a hypnosis session.
I would like to find out if Mistress still wants to do the recording.
I am not getting myself excited about a hypnosis session. It is summer
time and Mistress is very busy. <edit> A. So after establishing if
Mistress is even still interested. We can figure out when to do a
session. I also need to retrain my mind this next month, to the fact that
I have agreed to become someone's slave. I have to also remember that Mistress
Cassidy will once again be my owner, and I have to obey her. Also this month I
have to practice what I promised in a previous post. I need to stop
fantasizing about
what I believe a collared slave is.
So a lot of this month's goals are learning how to think like a
collared slave. This is an important goal to remember. I am Mistress's
slave, and my job is to help her,
and to see that she is happy with my efforts. Also before the month
is up. I hope to have replace my thinking, that a punishment is fun. A
punishment comes from making Mistress upset. Which goes against my primary
objective of keeping Mistress happy. I want, to the best of my
abilities to stay away from being punished. I also think this goal is
important. Too enjoy this experience.
<I'd like to state here that this is a thing that is different in an online dynamic than one in real time with me. I believe I have said it here before, I say it in real life often. I do not hurt people out of anger or frustration, I hurt people because I enjoy it. Innocent, non-pathological sadism; armchair self-diagnosis. An online dynamic is different. I have changed my approach to online dynamics, in truth until about 2 years ago I did not engage in virtual domination. One might mistakenly think it is easier than real time play. There's no set up or clean up, and I do appreciate that. Aside from that though, it really is not easier and in some ways it is far more challenging. I can swing a flogger for hours, body after body and dance when I am finished. It is typically 2 days before the adrenaline flood wears off and I need to rest. An online dynamic requires creativity, requires a different type of thought process and presentation to keep both the engagement of my sub and my own. So yes, in virtual play a sub will be punished for disobeying or disappointing me. If I can not have the reward of gifting my sub with a physical experience that I enjoy, then except few if any disappointments and I will take what pleasure I can find via a virtual punishment when there is a need for one.>
So these are the goals I have to work and improve on over the next
month. Lastly this month I want to plant the seeds to establishing my
true BDSM identity.
Bye
A little wordy slave, but as you didn't have a word limit it is acceptable. Over all a good job allan. By the time this actually publishes I believe you will be locked back into a contract and as you know you will no longer be able to peruse erotica or smut. You may, as a reward, view up to an hour of adult material of your choosing in the 24 hours following this going live. Note, if you don't see this until it has been live over 24 hours, sorry for your loss the reward will have expired. Also note, what you view will be part of your assignment for next Thursday. So choose a thing you are comfortable disclosing publicly.
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