Midnight Navel Gazing: Thoughts on Being "Out"

My boi wrote this, I want to say for me. It reflects an assignment I gave him. It is just not accurate though to say that it is for me. I give him assignments that I believe bring out or showcase his strengths and his best. In turn, witnessing his best, that is for me. I am never disappointed, his best is beautiful.
We need a name to refer to my boi. We're working on it. I could, I believe I have consent, I could just state his name. He is pretty much as out in his life as I am in mine. Actually, he's kind-of more out in his life than I am in mine. I have no closets left of my own, but the nature of my business mandates that I safe guard other people's closets.
It is unfortunate that some people can not be out. Is this a spot where I need to remember that the language, the concepts that are part of my every day life, are not part of everyone's? The concept of "out" seems so basic to me. I learned the term in like 1987 or so, didn't everyone get the memo? Maybe if you're straight, monogamous, vanilla, believe that gender is binary, a follower of a mainstream religion, and the 101 things that many people aren't and feel unsafe disclosing, maybe you have no idea what it being out means. Congratulations, you're also probably a muggle. No judgment, but no magic for you either. Sorry, I don't usually harbor contempt for muggles, and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But there was some muggle-based friction in my Boi's life tonight, and I am still a bit angry about it. Angry that I couldn't stop it from touching him. It was thankfully nothing physically unsafe, and he handled it beautifully. But nonetheless it upsets me that he had to.
I am not qualified to be the spokesperson for being out. Of the things I listed, the things I claim as my identity are the things that are almost acceptable in polite society. They are things no one could tell by looking at me or a cursory look at my life. If I didn't tell you, I am a single, poly-amorous, pansexual, dominatrix, who believes in many deities, you wouldn't know. Other than being a woman moving about the world, I am not in any significant danger physically or emotionally for being who I am. I can opt to be quiet in any situation where that might not be true. My boi can not make those same statements. Yet he is bold, brave and out anyway.
Catching up with him has been on my To Do List for a week. We each have very busy lives, and our dynamic isn't finalized or formalized. No actual collar or contract, yet. Neither of us were slacking in our responsibilities to each other. He reached out to me to share what had happened, and I was able to carve some time to share with him. We had a great conversation that included clarification of how out he can be about our dynamic, and I was able to state my hopes for it. I want to share some of what I said, "I would like to claim you publicly if that is what you wish. You are one of my favorite humans and in some manner you are my responsibility and you belong to me." Can I share a thing? It was scary to say that out-loud to him. What if that was more than he was seeking? This is one of my closest friends. We do not have a romantic relationship. And yes, here I am using romantic to stand in place of sexual. He enthusiastically consented to my offer. We  took a new step not only in our dynamic, but we took a new step out. There is little to no chance of negative blow-back for me, sharing our experiences will likely actually benefit me in my work life. You are enjoying reading this aren't you?  I trust that he considered the chance of negative consequences to him, and decided they were an acceptable risk level. That touches my heart. I, his non-partner, non-romantic interest, his friend who wishes to baby, flog, care for & love him, I am worth some level of risk in his vanilla world.
Not everyone can safely be out. Not everyone wishes to be out. I said that recently, didn't I?  The first statement saddens me. It is unconscionable to me that we have not evolved to a place where consenting adults can engage in any behavior they wish between them. That we are so emotionally immature as a society that how a person looks, prays, eats, who they love, etc can evoke such fear that one might feel justified in harming another person for it. Not everyone wishes to be out. I respect that, I have a hard time understanding it. Why would anyone choose to be untrue to themselves? Why would anyone choose to deny themselves? I again acknowledge I am not the person to speak on out-ness. I stayed quietly in the closet when there was a small risk of inconvenience to me if I had been out then, and again my closet wasn't even all that risky of a thing. I like pretty girls, big deal, the scariest members of our society are typically turned on by that. I am a dominant women in the BDSM community. Again, not something terribly threatening to the status quo or those who participate in it. I work in the safest corner of the adult industry. But as unqualified as I may be, and as hard as it is for me to accept that it is unsafe for some people to be out, I will continue to guard the secrets, hopes, fantasies and truths that people share with me.