Edging Update with Slave J*

Day 4

I elected to orgasm and edge 3 times a day until directed to stop by my Mistress.

Day 5

I did as instructed and edged 3 times. The first time I was erect in about a minute. I think because I still feel the need to orgasm. I was able to edge for 1:15 seconds. A record of sorts. The second time I was erect in a little over 2 minutes. I was able to hold the edge for almost 50 seconds. The 3rd time I was erect in about 2 minutes. I was able to edge for about 50 seconds again. I am not getting much fluid but I feel like I am at the same point I was before I had an orgasm. I am very aroused. 

Day 6

I again edged 3 times. The first time it took me about a minute to get erect. I was able to edge for about 30 seconds before I stopped. The second time it took about a minute again to get erect and I could not edge very long at all, 10 seconds maybe. I am again getting lots fluid. The 3rd time I was erect in less than a minute. I reached the edge and stopped. I just had to stop. I fear what you will have me do if I orgasm.

My testicles are doing a constant dance. I feel them moving around all the time. Also it seems I have swelling between my legs. I can actually feel it when I sit. I am so aroused. I know you are at a party so there is no need to ask for relief because you will not see this till morning. This is turning into a masturbation marathon.I am starting to question my decision to orgasm earlier in the week Mistress.

Day 7

Since I had the day off I decided to edge earlier to get it over with. I am getting erect really fast because I am so aroused. I can not edge for more than 5 seconds or so. I just get so close to orgasm, when I get to edge, that anything will cause me to orgasm. I have to stop because I do not want to fail. My testicles have a mild ache every time I stopped today. They are also in perpetual motion. I never had any idea that it would be this much of a struggle. I thinking edging 3 times so close together was a bad idea too. Thank you Mistress for the next 2 days off from edging. I hope that relieves the frustration of feeling the need to orgasm. 

Teasers... with Pictures

I had a glorious weekend. Friday was Princess Gemini's Bunny Ball in Providence. The continued uncertainty of the weather in New England seemed to lead to a smaller crowd than our average Friday. But it's all good, most of my favorite people were there. Including this little smoke show, my stylist Miss Hazey

She wasn't what I was looking for, I put out an ad specifically looking for a gay, male stylist. Forgive my sexism here, but Mistress felt she needed a new dude friend who I would know with absolute certainty wasn't trying to get in my panties. And she is far younger than Mistress would normally be inclined to have much faith in. I love hanging out with twenty-somethings at parties. I especially love when I outlast them on the dance floor & they stare in awe when I say I do this 2-4 nights a week. But let's be honest,  the bubble-gum crowd isn't noted for their dedication or loyalty. Mistress needs to depend on her stylist. I need to know they'll remember the spare stockings, polish & quick dry for a touch up, I need to know they'll be on time and that they'll leave their noise & drama at home. But the little minx was persistent. She simply kept asking for a chance while simultaneously there was a distinct lack of 30-something gay stylist tripping over themselves to be my new bestie. Once I was quiet enough to hear, the universe really was trying to tell me this is the one. She's such a cutie. She is timely. A wee bit of noise & drama, but nothing Mistress can't correct with a low wattage zap collar. Two silly things cinched it. She wears a necklace that nearly matches my own. I have worn an octopus gripping a hematite globe for nearly 20 years now, I believe she said she's been rocking her talon gripped orb for 6. The other is that she identified herself as a "fisherman", lolz. Mistress makes no apologies for her super sized ego that needs constant feeding. How did exotic dancer Cassidy find the courage to be naked in a room full of strangers? How does Mistress Cassidy command the respect and admiration of her subbies & strangers? By knowing, at all times, I am the baddest bitch you will ever meet. There is little to no chance that I am ever going to share my body with you, but you will give me your soul and you will never, ever forget me. That's what my ego looks like, and it's maintenance requires constant vigilance. My Miss Hazey said to me in one of our first conversations, with her eyelashes flashing at me & the hand motions to go with the story, "I'm an ego-maniac. I love constant validation. So I am a fisherman. I bait the hook and just toss it out there. Do I look pretty in this color? Do you love my shoes? And then I reel that compliment right in.". Yes, that was the moment I recognized I found the right stylist. Now the little tease has Mistress all a flutter at our parties & business planning meetings. She 'submits' to my floggings at parties so she can torment me with that ass. She makes Mistress glow, and isn't that the job of a stylist?

Ahem
Let's not blow up that ego too quickly. She has her short-comings, minor as they are. Does she video call me at 10a, when she knows damn well my head only kissed my pillow 3 hours before? Yes she does. Does she lack a filter and an understanding of that what's appropriate for the dance floor is not appropriate for planning meetings? When the woman who will tag her metamor (poly term, it means partner of one's partner) on her personal facebook with a threat of sending our favorite sadist an invitation to beat her ass and tag her mother in the pictures of it, tells you that you lack a filter that's saying something.

I adore her though.

She understands Tops need aftercare sometimes too

Truly from the bottom of my icy heart, I just love her.

I have plans for her. Watch for the announcement, it'll be a big one.

Guest Post: Slave Joe's Edging Adventures

I thought we should switch things up here a bit. Mistress has been naval gazing in her blog for a few entries now, which is my prerogative but I thought my mute little readers might like something new. To that end I requested my long distance slave, slave J* share his thoughts on his current experience. Mistress has introduced him to edging. I'm going easy on him, he's a newbie and I didn't wish to overwhelm him. The following are his thoughts in his words.

Day 1
When you gave me this edging task I kinda thought it would just be something new to try and it would be easy. It is harder than I thought. This morning it took me a little over 4 minutes to edge. I tried to hold as long as I could but after about 15 seconds I had to stop. I did not have an orgasm but fluid came out. I cleaned up but when I stood up more flowed out. For 2 hours after I really felt the urge to have an orgasm. Then this evening I went slower and it took me about 7 minutes to edge. I tried slowing down to almost stopping and then slowly masturbate again. I lasted 32 second this time. There was a lot more fluid this time and when I pulled my pants up and stood up, it just flowed out. I had to change my underpants. Now I just want to masturbate and reach orgasm. This is a very frustrating experience.

Day 2
This is a strange experience. I am masturbating in the morning before I go to work and again at night when I get home. It keeps me aroused all day long. It is really getting difficult Mistress. Today was not much different. In the morning I was erect in about 5 minutes and was able to stay on edge for 40 seconds. There was still a lot of fluid coming out. This evening it still took me about 5 minutes to edge but I could only edge for 10 seconds. I could tell if I did not stop I would have an orgasm. I did not have much fluid come out at all. I still feel very aroused though. 

I am really starting to struggle with the need for release. Mistress Cassidy may I Please! have an orgasm? ( Just received an email from my Mistress, she said no to continue edging). 

slave j*

It's Mistress again. He is actually on day 3 now, and I just sent him his instructions for tomorrow. Silly sub thought just because he said please I was going to let him orgasm. But he is doing such a good job, I thought I could extend just a little kindness so I gave him a choice. Tomorrow he may orgasm if he wishes, but he will have to find the time to edge 3 times a day daily for the next few days. Or if he chooses to delay one more day, he may orgasm on Friday and take the weekend off from his task. Let's see how much self-control he has. I am hoping that he has none! I think the entries from having to edge 3 times a day will be far more entertaining than an entry that reads I was a good sub, delayed my gratification and had a relaxing weekend.

Release & Restructure

Not that sort of release you dirty pervs, get your mind out of the gutter.
This will likely prove to be a far more somber entry. Mistress has been debating the appropriateness of sharing this for weeks, and after determining that it is not only appropriate but necessary, the words have been challenging to find.
Astute readers may have caught the small mention in my previous post. Among my responsibilities I shared I stated that I have or rather had two collared submissives. Mistress had two collared subs, slave allan that assisted with maintaining my blog, among other things, and who had served me faithfully for over a year as a long distance sub. And slave **** who assisted in keeping my dungeon in order, and served in person and online for oh about 6 months now.
As I've mentioned many times here, for months Mistress has been keeping an incredibly hectic schedule. Adjusting to the responsibilities and schedule that came with signing on with Princess Gemini Enterprises has proved especially challenging, but I absolutely love the experience. There aren't enough words to adequately convey how much this experience is giving to me. I clearly see Gemini's vision for her company, our company, and I am so blessed to be part of her team. While it is taxing, I would not walk away from it for anything.
My sabbatical had several hiccups and nearly failed to launch at all. New England weather lead to what should have been my last party, the budget I had planned for my trip, rescheduling for the following week. My vacation should have been 10 days, with a monetary buffer to insure my comfort until I returned. Instead, with the reschedule I could choose between carving out 5 days, 2 spent driving and a budget that didn't really include the gas to get home or putting off my trip until at least April or more realistically May. But Mistress aren't professional dommes independently wealthy and above such mundane BS like how to travel 800 miles on a shoe string? Maybe some are, Mistress Cassidy is not. Beginning in November my one on one sessions, my bread & butter, tend to slow down to a couple a week. In December, you know with all the expenses of the holidays and the uptick weather related expenses, I am happy if I see 5 clients all month. I don't know if I have ever seen a submissive in January. Sometimes February will bring a couple of brave souls out to see me, March finally starts to see my calendar filling up again and then the busy season is in full swing again. As you already know, I opted to take the 5 days rather than delay. It was the right decision.
While on my trip, each of my collared slaves asked to be released. I saw that this was likely coming at least a month before. If there were more hours in a day perhaps I could have prevented it. Perhaps I could have carved out more time to meet their needs and tend to them properly, but as often as I petition the universe for more, there are still only 24 hours in a day. Are you confused by the words I used? Tend to them, meet their needs; don't subs exist to serve their Mistress? Sure, in the spank bank world subs are mindless, patient, giving beings with no needs of their own who live on sunshine and the occasional smile from their Mistress or Master. I play with real humans though. Fragile, vulnerable, flawed humans with needs and wants of their own. They serve me, they do as I wish and do it to the best of their abilities but it is not a one way street. They need to be thanked properly. They need to be reminded that they serve me because they enjoy my company, by you know actually being in my company. They need the insights, they need to know me, to feel they serve someone worthy of their devotion. I failed to deliver those things with consistency, and I lost two devoted subs as a result. Of course I released them, nothing else would have been ethical. I sincerely wish them each the best and thank them for our time together and the services they provided.
On to restructure: 
I've made another decision about my one on one sessions. I am still sorting out the fine details about how it will work in practice, but I have decided that I will only session privately with subs under contract with, collared by me. I will no longer session privately with newbies or new to me clients. It's a huge financial risk, as I have said private sessions are what pays the bills.
I've been home from my trip for 11 days, I jumped right back into the same crazy schedule I left and I have looked at my calendar every single day & contemplated when can I fit another escape. How soon? Can I do it tomorrow? The question I needed to ask, how can a make it so I don't feel I need to escape. Oh, don't misread that, I love the people I spent time with, I will spend more time with them in the future, in the near future even. When there actually is time, not when I am stealing that time from my responsibilities. What can I change in my life so I don't need to escape it. When I sat with that question, when I really looked at what I do, what I value, and what just doesn't work, I finally saw it. I do love working with newbies. I feel a responsibility to the community that has been so good to me, to give back and play my part introducing new explorers. I do that best at parties. At a party I can give a new person a taste of what a session can be like. If there is a connection, they come back to me. A relationship can develop and I can invite them to my dungeon if I wish. Private sessions with newbies requires hours of preparation for someone who might simply not be a good match. While it pays well in the short term, it is a poor investment strategy. More than financial, the energy invested is best returned at parties. I can always earn more, I can not buy back my time.
As I fine tune how exactly I am going to implement this expect updates. In the interim if we have talked before but not sessioned yet, I will still session with you. If we haven't talked before, but you have been trying to work up the nerve to schedule now is the time.

Mistress's Escape: Part 2

Can you see that glow? 

So Mistress spent 2 days in Richmond with her friends, and then jetted further south to spend time with someone special. Now Mistress isn't the kind of woman to kiss and tell, so you little voyeurs are going to be disappointed on that front. I mention it at all only because the traveling portion of my vacation greatly outpaced the visiting portions of my vacation. Over the course of 5 days, I had around 30 hours alone with my thoughts behind the wheel. I love time alone behind the wheel, I should pencil in these trips far more often. 

A couple things that I have held as hard limits as a professional dominatrix unexpectedly crossed my mind for reconsideration during my travel time. I am the first to acknowledge that as a professional I am a pretty conservative dominatrix. Safety, in all forms, is always a top priority for me. I don't just mean the safety of a specific act, I also mean the well-being and emotional safety of my submissives. I play in many settings, with people I have varying degrees of relationships with. The one on one professional scenes I engage in with clients are in many ways more intimate than any of the other settings. What a submissive client shares with me is often what they can not share with anyone else. I strive to create an atmosphere without judgement, and for this I am rewarded with candor and raw honesty from my clients. When their interests match my own, an amazing experience unfolds. I love this about my vocation. The flip side of this is when a scene ends, my clients return to their vanilla lives alone. I am available should my subs reach out for follow-up or aftercare; but I can not usually reach out to them. I can not compromise their vanilla life to inquire if they're experiencing sub drop, if their bruises are fading (or remaining) as they wished. And, I feel like most people don't consider this component of a professional dommes life, I can not reach out when I need aftercare. Tops drop too. I am a verbose, articulate person. After play with my partners or friends I can say I need feedback, I need cuddling, I need a sandwich and my needs are met. It's just not an option after sessions as a professional. I strayed off subject here a little bit from my intended subjects, but I'm not going to edit. 

Back on track now, what specifically crossed my mind for reconsideration was cold starts, and tapping out. For those who may be unfamiliar with those terms, a cold start is a scene that has been pre-negotiated and begins without further discussion when those engaging come together. Kidnapping scenes for example might be best played out with a cold start. Tapping out I imagine is a more recognizable term, using one's safe word, calling the scene, tapping out. Whatever one may call it, by tapping out I mean ending an activity because one has reached and perhaps breached their limit. 

I have never allowed cold starts in my professional sessions. I maintained that it simply was not a safe way to play with a stranger. At the start of a session I ask my subs about their health, I reiterate the interests they have shared with me previously and I establish my boundaries & expectations for our time together. It has worked quite well for nearly 20 years, but it is not without flaws. I decline scenes that I believe I would enjoy if they don't lend themselves to this ritual. Transitioning from welcoming, inquiring behavior into the actual scene can be challenging for me even after all these years and I have always recognized that most subs have a difficult time switching gears too. I am an experienced player. My negotiation skills are beyond reproach. Why am I denying myself experiences I know I will enjoy? Do I trust my screening process? Is my faith in my skill set false bravado? Am I doing what I have always done just because it's what I have always done? I pondered those questions for many miles. I am ready to expand my experiences, and I'm going to offer cold starts when appropriate. 

Tapping out. I instruct my submissives to use a traffic light colors for their safe words. Yellow if they need me to ease up, red if they need a full, immediate stop. I spend so much time on this pre-scene. To new subs I say, "As this is our first time playing together, for today only if you say stop, don't,or no I am going to pause. I am going to ask you for clarity, do you mean to say red or do you wish to continue? We will proceed from there accordingly." That's a lot of words. I have also always taken great pride in being able to say that the only subs who tap out in my scenes are those who have specifically asked to be pushed to their limits. I am now not only not proud of that statement, in truth I think I am a bit embarrassed by it. Subs are needy little creatures, they stumble in their nervousness and stutter when I demand they bare their soul to me. It is a rare day that I get a brave soul who can articulate that what they really want is to be taken beyond their limits, to be pushed to breaking down. Yet I do know, truly know, no one seeks out an experienced dominant because they wish to play with a kitten. Hard limits are hard limits, boundaries are for expanding. I am not a kitten.  I know the limits of my gear. My tools are very much an extension of myself in my hands. Have you seen me swing? Why do I give my subs safe words if I do not trust them to use them? I play with adults. I play with competent people who have worked up the nerve to seek out what they need. I am confident in my ability to comfort my subs and tend to their broken selves. Mistress has expanded her boundaries. I wish to be able to say that the majority of my submissives tap out when we play. 

Mistress's Escape: Part 1

Let's call this Before. This was the last party before my vacation. I sincerely had a great night, and loved every moment of it. This was taken at about 3am. I had been in the ER with a family member 7 hours before. I had left another party 24 hours before. I had oh, maybe 3 hours of sleep in those 24 hours. 

Despite a couple of significant hiccups, Mistress's much needed vacation was amazing, refreshing and everything I had hoped it would be. I made it home safely, and was back in the dungeon swinging Dreamer and Dancer with renewed vigor within 8 hours of returning. 

My trip was very much a planned sabbatical. If you read this blog regularly, or follow me on the various other platforms I maintain my professional presence, you are aware that I maintain a very hectic, demanding schedule. Most weeks I am in my dungeon on Tuesdays and Thursdays for private sessions. Every Friday night, and 2 Wednesdays a month I am the lead dungeon Mistress for Princess Gemini Enterprises. Saturdays I typically spend at Safe Haven or Twizted Acres, as a guest to enjoy downtime with my partners, friends and playmates. However the tight-knit nature of the scene community dictates that there are many points where crossover between play mode Mistress Cassidy and work mode Mistress Cassidy occurs. Saturdays are when that crossover most often occurs. There are several monthly munches I try to attend. Of course behind the scenes I have many additional responsibilities. I have, or rather had, two collared long distance submissives. I often have short term contracts with additional long distance submissives. There are photo shoots, planning meetings, and recruiting vendors. We are about to expand our schedule to include a monthly aftercare gathering, and we are in negotiations with several local and out of state venues. We are in the pre-production stages of offering a monthly podcast, video content, and live cam viewing of events. Oh I forgot the most time consuming part of my profession, networking and promoting. Can't have the best parties in New England if we don't find the best players in the community and invite them to be our guests. Can't be a resource for exploring and growth, if newbies don't know where to find us. Can't sink my floggers into tender flesh, if willing flesh doesn't know how to contact me. And all of this is in addition to my vanilla responsibilities. I have many vanilla responsibilities. I am a volunteer leader for a large organization that would be inappropriate to name here, but I give them several hours of my time weekly year round. My pony is a great source of stress release for me weekly, that requires hours of care & maintenance daily. 

Let's call this During. I am about to meet one of my best friends for sushi.

When viewed through one lens, the timing of my vacation was poorly planned. I have too much on my plate to jet to Richmond to have sushi with my bestie. When viewed through the other lens, the timing of my vacation was long overdue and could not be put off another moment. Jetting to Richmond for sushi with my friend was the only thing that mattered that day.

This will have to be a two or more part post, I have officially run out of time and quiet for blog updates.