Long Distance

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Gifts, Blessings and Delight

How blessed am I to know such suffering.
I've added so many mantras in the last year. Gifts largely given by my top, and some from my partner/muse/soulmate, Mistress Dahlia. The above is one of hers. We are not of the favor tallying style of friends, but I owe her a thing for that. Give me a minute, when the moment is right, I promise I will deliver.
Pain, suffering, regret; that chapter has closed.
Blessed, without limits and never ending.
The universe delights when I receive the gifts it bestows upon me.
That gem I found on my own. It is a summary of thing I wrote here months ago.
Let this chapter, and all those to come, focus on the many blessings and gifts the universe bestows.
I have a new sub. Well, no, not quite yet. You thought I was talking about Livy, again. Rest assured I will be talking about Livy again, probably before I wrap this up. What I meant to say is I met a new sub. I meet new-to-me submissives often, why is this one of note? He contacted me months ago. He was ever so slightly outside of my travel zone, and his kink, is pretty far outside of my comfort zone.  Let me clarify that statement. Remember when I talked about what limits have remained constant and which fell away when I pushed on them? I talked about how hard it was for me to explore degradation, specifically homophobic based degradation. Yet, when I embraced my discomfort, when I recognized that this is what some of my subs need, it has become a form of play that I love. It is still challenging for me, I suspect it always will be. There are times when being comfortable is a needed respite, but excitement, adventure, exhilaration are not synonyms of comfort. So for clarity, his kink does not violate my moral compass, it is not bizarre or abnormal; it is simply not a thing I have experience with, and outside of my comfort zone. It is actually a thing I began getting many requests for a few months back. A dozen or more texts were responded to with, "Thank you for the inquiry, but Mistress Cassidy does not offer that scene. Best wishes finding the right match for you.".   I have no idea what this sub said differently. How he caught my attention enough that I opted to respond with more than my polite but curt standard reply. He did though, and I did. And from that chance encounter, a whole new chapter is unfolding.
Just outside of my travel zone. I love Richmond. It is a vibrant community. I have an established network of friends and contacts that support everything that matters to me in the vanilla world. Art, culture, a thriving poly community, things we do not discuss in my adult themed blog, all of that is in Richmond. What isn't there? My clients. Oh they're there, somewhere. I know they are, but getting settled took longer than I allotted. Networking a new area, while maintaining my client base in New England, and juggling my vanilla life; I said it recently, it just isn't sustainable. Know what else I love? The beach. Virginia beach specifically. When I lived in Richmond before, the 2 hour drive to the ocean was my only complaint. Last Wednesday I signed a lease on a gorgeous apartment, approximately 10 minutes from the ocean. I'm on the side of the bridge (and traffic ) that equals Richmond is just over an hour away. I feel so strongly that this space is the most perfect spot where my professional and my private life needs will be best met.
Does a butterfly remember when it was a caterpillar? Does it carry the experience of turning to goo forever? If it must, if that is how the universe works, then I hope it also knows that it does not, that it actually can not, ever experience it again.
While I am all unpacked, my ocd does not abide by living in boxes,  I am still settling in to my new routine and new space. I am once again in the first days of quitting smoking. How many times we fall doesn't matter, as long as we get up one time more than that. My schedule will be posted on Monday, but I am beginning to pencil in next week now. Feel free to inquire if you are hoping to see me soon. Chaturbate may or may not happen this weekend. You know where the announcements will be made it if it does.
Also note, I have not cancelled the Why Bee Normal giveaway. Just pinned it for when I am settled.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulation on the new apartment, the new sub and a bright new beginning :)

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