Voyeuristic Thursday: 10 Weeks of Self-Inflicted Punishment

A kind and patient Mistress Cassidy

The following is slave allan's assignment from last week. If you missed my post last Thursday, his assignment was late, leaving Mistress to write her own post for Thursday at 3 in the morning. On the one hand, allan failed to complete a task by a specific deadline, and he failed to ask for an extension. I am a rather indulgent top. I said that to a very good friend of mine the other day, while her and I do not have a dynamic, she is active in the scene and knows me better than most. She laughed when I said I was indulgent. You cowered before me,I was frightening. <--- my favorite scene from my favorite movie, 100 cool points to whomever identifies it. I send candy to a little who is not My little because it warms my heart when she asks for more spankies please. I take calls from My Hazey kitten at 6 AM, that are not emergencies even after she has been told emergency calls only at that hour. If slave allan had simply asked for an extension, if he had even messaged me within say an hour of the deadline and explained what had happened, I would have said I understand. I would have said that it was OK allan, tend to your responsibilities and I hope you're not too uncomfortable after your procedure. I would have made a note to Myself to follow up and ask allan how he was feeling on Friday. I am typing this on that Friday, it will be next Thursday when this posts. How are you feeling slave?  Perhaps my indulgent nature is not appreciated because it has been awhile since I shared how strict I am in public. At parties we see Mistress Cassidy massage guests with Dreamer and Dancer, the volume seldom going past a moderate 6. On CB we hear Mistress patiently explain to would be subbie boys, please don't use dismissive terms like sweetie to compliment a top, Goddess is more appropriate and My Goddess is not if I haven't claimed you. I am so patient, how do you not know that? On the other hand, allan failed to complete a task. No further explanation or justification is needed for what comes next. 

slave you will not be released from your task. Your task is being expanded. You will continue to give yourself 5

 Mistress having far more fun 

whacks, once a week, on the same day. You are to pick a day and tell me via email within an hour of reading this. If you find you can not complete your task on the day you choose you are to send me an email explaining why and ask permission to swap days. (That should have been understood without me needing to explain that allan) And you will now do 10, You will first do 5 on the spot you last used, and then 5 more on a new spot. Are these written directions clear enough? If for example the last week you gave yourself 5 on your right inner thigh, this week you are to do 5 on your right inner thigh again and then 5 on say your left upper arm. The following week you would begin with your upper arm and then 5 on a fresh spot. You are then to send me an email with THREE sentences only. The post below, while it is very well written allan, it does illustrate that you still have not heard me when I say you need to be more concise. The 3 sentences will 1. verify the task was completed, 2. state where you delivered these slaps, and 3. one statement of your thoughts. You will be released from this task when I feel like releasing you, if ever. Do not ask to be excused from it again. 


Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack is a familiar sound to me. Five whacks applied to my inner thigh with a wooden shower brush once every week is the punishment given to me by Mistress Cassidy. Nine times this ritual has played out. This week being the tenth time. Why do I have to do this to myself, one might ask.  For that, there is no one better to tell you why than Mistress Cassidy herself. Here is the link to her post where I was assigned this task.
 http://mistresscassidycreamsmusings.blogspot.com/2018/08/q-tuesday-floggers-and-impact-toys.html

When I started the task I confess I did silently question the punishment. I reread the post because I didn't think I had said something so terribly wrong. Even after rereading the post I said "Really" in my private thoughts. But I did not challenge Mistress's assignment, I just gather up the tools I needed for the task and set myself to it. I stripped completely, pulled on the panties and sat on the edge of my bed. I picked up the brush looked at my target spot and swung. I remember thinking "l know when it is going hit. Where is the anticipation in this? "CRACK" the back of the shower brush connected with flesh. The result was surprising. When the brush first hit I was startled by the noise it made. That commanding thud of the impact and the higher pitch ricochet sound resulting from exploding flesh. I saw my skin turn red and my nerve ending was sending a message to my brain saying "I feel a sting". I brought the brush down equally as hard the second time, having the same reaction and actually saying out loud "Ouch! that hurt". I wimped out on number 3 and more or less just patted the skin. I was afraid of the hit. I immediately felt bad though. As a slave I had a feeling Mistress would disapprove of me holding back. So, on hits 4 and 5 I returned to the intensity of the first two impacts. I marveled at the darkness of the red forming on the impact zone. I then laid back and fought off the urge to brink myself to a release, But I did enjoy the stinging sensation for about 20 minutes before it diminished away. Over the next few weeks, I carried out the routine obediently as a good slave should. At some point, I realized I was looking forward to changing into panties and carrying out my task. I would try every few weeks to change it up and increase the force of the blow. I also started to wonder what it would feel like to strike other areas on my body. I contemplated trying to spank my backside, but I came to a conclusion first. It dawned on me then that I was thinking about this task all wrong. It wasn't a task to get me to like the feeling of spanking myself. No, It was a lesson for me to learn that I chose to be Mistress's slave and in doing so I am to carry out what she demands of me. My servitude is not solely for getting a tickle in my shorts. I knew then and there that I was doing this task, not for sexual gratification. I was spanking my thigh each week so Mistress would be pleased with my effort and hoping in return to hear her say "Good Slave". So for me now as Mistress Cassidy slave, I strive to complete a task not for what reward is in it for me. I complete it because it is what Mistress told me to do, and if she is happy when I am done. Then I did my part right.

 

As for the present task, I have asked Mistress for release from it. You can see the request in her group on FetLife at https://fetlife.com/groups/175329/group_posts/13352079?page=1#group_comment_120208815 Mistress has chosen to have me carry on for now. Tomorrow is a big one for this assignment, it is the tenth week. This time I have been asked to provide pictures of the task while in progress. I also think for week ten I will try an impact or two using the bristle side of the brush. What do you think?

Voyeuristic Thursday: slave allan's reward

You may, as a reward, view up to an hour of adult material of your choosing in the 24 hours following this going live. Note, if you don't see this until it has been live over 24 hours, sorry for your loss the reward will have expired. Also note, what you view will be part of your assignment for next Thursday. So choose a thing you are comfortable disclosing publicly.

Thank you, Mistress, for your reward. I was lucky enough to have read the post before the reward had expired. Being faced with the hard truth that in the near future, when I am once again locked into a contract as Mistress's collared slave. These simple interests are going to be off limits to me. So what do I watch with only one hour that Mistress has granted me? To use a metaphor, I feel as though the virtual collar is on me now. It just doesn't have the virtual lock snapped into place yet. That will come in due time.

Having been given permission to search for adult material. I spent 20 minutes searching Google compiling a library of pictures that I can use in future post for my blog and for Mistress's Q and A. I also like to post pictures on my FL profile. I guess with the ban on adult material, I will have to use something else for pictures once I use up the library. OMG. Mistress it just dawned on me. Will I still be allowed to look into my saved file of images for my blog once I am under contract? I do not have an interest in seeing couples having sex. I prefer teasing pictures. The white feather on one's side or the photo of an ice cube on a defenseless sub's nipple.

Light predicament bondage catches my eye too. The ones where as long as the sub stays on his/her tiptoes. They prevent the endless edging from a vibrator. Or being in the predicament of being tied to a wooden horse. I find myself easily imagining myself as the slave in those pictures. But mostly I enjoy both photos with captions. Or as they are called today, memes. I am particularly fond of femdom, CFNM, and erotic hypnosis caption. I also admire the simple hand-drawn photos. I am astounded how an artist using lines and shading can make a scene jump off the page. Once fully collared these memes will probably be the first violation I will have to confess to. For example, recently I have been searching for memes to send Mistress to help aid her with quitting smoking. But I found myself typing in BDSM Minions. That kind absent mindlessness could find me once again being dressed down on a future Thursday post. Or something worse. So I save several in those first 20 minutes for future use if I am allowed too.

Rationing my remaining time, I decide to listen to one last hypnosis file. I had to forego my favorite file that technically is a JOI theme script. But with my particular male member refusing to make an appearance. I substituted my family jewels to tormenting my nipples. Sadly this file was too long to listen to with my remaining time. So I listened to a 22-minute piece about nipples. In the introduction part the session, the hypnotist claims that with continuous listening my nipples will become the center of my sexual being. It is suggested that I will crave nipple play over any other stimulation. A wonderful thought for someone with E.D. I enjoy listing to the sultry sounding voice and find the piece quite relaxing. As to the claim of making my nipple replace my penis as the central sexual focus on my body is still up for debate.

With only 18 minutes remaining I have two things I want to do. First I want to write a new post on nipple play. Sadly I am having a problem to come up with a theme. Hoping for inspiration I did a Google search. I found one description that sounded promising. It was a 54-minute video clip. Of course, knowing I couldn't watch the full thing so I started leapfrogging through it. Unfortunately, I didn't find any new inspiration for my blog, But the scenes that I did watch were interesting. The clip was not what I call the fluffy production type. This one was rawer. For all, I know it could be a couple who uploaded one of their scenes online. Trying to keep to my interest it was a femdom, CFNM video. In the video I was introduced to a new nipple device that I did not know of. The Mistress called it a nipple stretcher. He being gaged had little to say. These things are about 8 inches long with a metal arch. Through the arch is a threaded rod which is attached to a clover clamp. The slave in the video wore them by have the clamps attached to his nipples, which are stretched by the threaded rod, pulling the device tighter to his chest. Periodically through the video, the Mistress would twist the threaded rod a couple of revolutions pulling the slave's nipples that much more. Oh what a lucky slave.

With only seven minutes remaining, I gave up the video to read a short story I found the internet. This one is a short tale about a newlywed lady who thought she had received a gift from her husband that was away on a business trip. Upon opening the box she discovers a chastity belt. Which is of course equipped with the expected butt plug and vibrator attachments. There is a love note attached saying that if you love me you will wear this for me until I return. And to contact him once she put it on. Excitedly the wife puts the device on and locks it. She then quickly calls and tells her husband that she put it on. But instead of a fun conversation with her lover. She is greeted with an evil laugh from the man that she married. He goes on to tell her that the relationship and marriage were all staged and that she had been selected to becomes a sex slave to this multinational group. She still thinks that he's playing a game until he asked if she read the instructions. She reads a welcoming message to her new life as a slave, followed by a lengthy contract which states that by locking the device she has agreed with the terms of the contract. The story then goes on to tell about her training by what turns out to be a remote control belt at the command of some mystery woman. During the training stage of the story, the slave is taught obedience by receiving multiple hours of edging or forced orgasms by the chastity belt for not complying. The rest of the story is about the different people she's required to submit to.

So that is how I spent the hour that Mistress Cassidy rewarded me with. I am still stuck for an idea to use in a nipple tormenting post for my blog. I am open to suggestions.

Thank you once again, Mistress, for allowing me to be part of your Thursday blog.

Voyeuristic Thursday: slave allan Public Virtual Punishment

It is Sunday, August 12th and Mistress is at Safe Haven enjoying the sounds of another rain storm. I love these moments. I have this odd relationship with time. I am very much an in the moment sort of person, but I also love to reflect and I love to look ahead. Revisit the best, daydream about the future, but I do not get so caught in either that I miss the moment I am in. I love that I am typing on Sunday a thing that will not be seen until Thursday. There's this silly, little risk, what if things do not unfold how you wish. It might be embarrassing. If I say I am going to do a thing and then the thing doesn't happen, I might look like I don't keep my word. I might look like I do not know what I am talking about. Those are not things I take lightly. My word is my wand. My reputation is of the utmost value to me. But you know what? Things typically work out how I wish. I do not enjoy it, but if I have to I can get past being slightly embarrassed, there are far worst things one can be. I know that people who know me know that most of the time, I know what I am talking about. I know myself better than anyone. When this posts, I'll be four days without a cigarette. I haven't yet written the post for tomorrow, Monday. I am contemplating making the announcement in that post. Accountability. I created it already here, but quitting is awful. I did it just a little bit ago. I remember quite clearly where my pitfalls were. Extra accountability won't hurt. Let's see how this unfolds. 

The following is slave allan's response to having been chastised in his last post. He is a good sub, he knows that I recognize how much help he is to me. Yet there are things he could work on, things I need to guide him through. It is a funny thing, he needs to shelf his fantasies to have them. You can not have your cake and eat it too. I never cared for that expression as a child. It seemed stupid, what else would one do with cake? I looked up the history of the expression years ago, when google became a thing. While the expression is in English, a thing is lost in translation of time. It means just what I questioned, it is just said in an archaic way. It should be said something like, one can not eat cake now and also save it for later.  
Slave allan asked for a fantasy to be his new reality. He will have to continuously choose if he wants it now or later. If you missed it, slave allan is a long, long, long distance sub. He can opt to withhold information from me, he can opt to pretend to do at least some of the things I will ask of him. He could opt to pretend to experience his fantasy, or he will choose to actually surrender his ideas and have his fantasy. Will I know the difference? I might. allan and I have been friends for I believe over a year now. He was already my collared long distance sub for several months. I know his writing style well, I may catch changes in it if he were choosing to fake it. But truthfully, I probably won't. If he wished to simply read my instructions, and file them in his- well let's not be vulgar, his ***** bank, he could probably write a convincing enough emails that there wouldn't be a tell. It would be his loss. He asked for real, I will deliver real. If he squanders it that is on him. 

I on the other hand have made my choices. I will always have my cake now. 

Having been dressed down

Hello Mistress Cassidy.
I was not sure whether to directly post this in the comments on your post. Or send it here for you to view before posting it. I finally choose the safest route by sending it here. Once again, Mistress, I give my consent for you to use this for another guest blog posting.

Yes, Mistress, we are crystal clear on where I stand. I wished to be a slave, and a slave I will be. I feel that after reading your blog and your comments I owe you a thank you, Mistress. Not only did you point out a positive point that made me feel proud inside. You also provide a reality check to what I'm getting myself into. You mentioned in a message that you were going to publicly dress me down on your blog. And a scolding you gave me.  The verbal tongue lashing
you provided was probably just as stinging as any lashing I could have received. You are getting through to me Mistress. I am learning. As of now, I am discarding all of my preconceived ideas and fantasies of what a collared slave should be. I plan to take what you are going to teach me and apply it to the process of becoming a better slave. My goal Mistress is to try and get more rewarding praise, than facing another scolding or worse.

I would like to say sorry for asking you to restate what you have offered me. I am extremely proud that you have offered me a collar again. Plus I am deeply humbled by you providing a task-based tribute. It wasn't until I saw it in words (collared, personal submissive) that I understood what you were offering. I will soon be composing another letter proclaiming I would like to wear your collar. Plus preparing myself to sign a slave contract.

No Mistress, I hope you do not reconsider your offer. I wish there was a way for me to convey an image of me on my knees pleading and offering you anything. Just so you wouldn't reconsider. Yes, Mistress. I have not asked about the task I will be doing. I didn't bring them up before because I did not want to bother you by asking about them, and truthfully I was afraid too. I presume we will be talking about them before signing the final contract. As a sub and presumably as a collared slave. I am extremely grateful with how much or how little time you are able to give me. I have to realize that you are a busy woman, and have a business to run. I have read through your template for the slave contract in your previous post, it looks fantastic. It is also an honor that I'm one of the people being considered for the LDR collar. 

I should wrap up with a final thought. Just like an RL slave receiving a flogging, I will take the sting from my verbal flogging, and bask in the knowledge that I have an Owner who cares about me.

Thank you allan. 

Little Late: Tuesday Q&A with slave allan

Typically I try to write my posts on Sundays. They'll sit waiting for a last spellcheck and edit until the night before they're scheduled to post, but they're written ahead of time. This weekend was so full, and the start of this week has been more of the same, that I am all off schedule. Tuesday at 8:15p and I am starting from scratch. I didn't even remember to assign slave allan to come up with a question until like 4 in the morning today or last night. I hadn't slept yet, so it must still have been last night. So don't bother looking for typos, if there are any they'll be mine. If you correct me on my blog I'll poke you with a stick, and not in a way you'd like. 

I need another vacation stat

On to the question. 

slave allan: I have become friends with one of the male dom
members of our local community group on FetLife. He has since invited me to stop by and  visit. I should mention this is not a play visit. If you were to give your slave permission to go, how should I conduct myself? Should I be casual as if I am talking with an old friend? Or do I remain submissive, using proper titles and sub etiquette?

I would like you to pm me the person's Fetlife handle slave. I have every intention of giving you permission to meet with him, but I would like an opportunity to see who my slave is interacting with in the scene. I'll be curious to hear if your opinions of him post meeting match whatever opinions I may form checking out his profile. 

It is my opinion that you should exhibit the best manners that are appropriate for your vanilla community when meeting people in the scene if you do not have a dynamic or contractual obligation to do otherwise. You should address him by any name he invites you to use, as he should address you. If this were a meeting at a community event it may be appropriate to introduce yourself as Mistress Cassidy's slave allan. If it were a community event where this person was conducting a class, performing or the host, it would likely be appropriate to call him Mr. So & So. But a casual meeting in a person's home or at a munch simply requires that one use standard manners. Introduce yourself as allan. If he asks that you call him by a title, do so because you are in his home but know when you leave his home that you are welcome and encouraged to roll your eyes about it. Unless it is the cultural norm in your location to call people a title, it is not appropriate of a top to ask a submissive that is not theirs to call them a title in my not so humble opinion. Here in Massachusetts the norm in and out of the scene would be using first names. Many people are actually insulted if you call them ma'am or sir. It is assumed to be sarcastic. In some parts of the south, and near military bases, sir and ma'am are appropriate in vanilla settings, and therefor appropriate in scene settings too. If it is the norm when visiting a friend to bring a hostess gift, to shake hands, to air kiss, whatever- you should do those things in a scene setting too; but there is no need to do more simply because it is a get together of a couple of people who enjoy kink.  

VIRTUAL SPACES:
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Voyeuristic Thursday- slave allan's negotiations

It has always been my intention for this blog to find a rhythm. Of all the things I do as a domme, keeping this blog is among my very most favorite things. Yet like most of my favorite things, it kept finding itself as the last item on my To Do List. I fully understand the juxtaposition that is a top and bottom at play. My subs are in charge, I am responsible. My top creates the perfect illusion that I answer to him so I might justify having, and making time for what I want. But when I am alone, who am I? When who I am is not defined by my relationship to another, who am I? I am in charge and I am responsible. If this is among my favorite things, I will not deny myself the pleasure it brings me. So let's establish the rhythm and keep the beat. 

The following is an excerpt, shared with permission, of slave allan's negotiations to a new offer of collaring. slave allan served me well for several months as my long distance, collared submissive. Due to many factors both personal and dynamic in nature he asked to be released in March. Since March he has continued to be a good friend, and a helpful service sub. 

Hello once again Mistress
This part of my response is typed in a fashion that if you want to release
it on your blog, you have my consent. I have to admit a quiver ran down my
spine, and I felt like a silly schoolboy, after reading that you were
smiling and giggling as you were typing. Then let's face it my overactive
imagination kicks in. I envision you sitting comfortably at your keyboard
devising plans for scenes, or tasks and mountains of misery with maple
syrup for your collared slave. I also figured that if I returned to the
collar that you would conceive some consequence for me for asking to leave
in the first place. A consequence so amusing for you that it causes you to
giggle.
<There will not be a consequence for asking to be released. I am aware that you experienced tremendous loss by asking to be released. >
I know I am being silly, it's just that my mind keeps conjuring things
up. You also asked the holy grail of question, Do I want to wear your
collar again? To once again be your slave submitting to your training.
Serving for your pleasure. Following the rules set forth in my contract.
Giving up certain privileges like being able to read or view whatever adult
material I please. To again give up my ability to release whenever I wish,
having to return to asking or begging for permission for my release.
Knowing that displeasing behaviors and actions could find me facing a very
mentally or painfully punishment at your hand. To return to a
life of complete obedience. To once again be called the collared slave of
Mistress  Cassidy. To this, my reply would be a formal yes Mistress. <edited for excessive words> Primarily this message was to answer the
wearing of your collar question. There is another topic I need to know
before I would sign a contract. You mentioned in your post (I am going to
need you to work on some things though).<another edit> I plead that you will inform me what are these
things you say I have to work on? <and yet another> You use too many words slave. 

<edit> As you said we will leave the detail
for a private conversation. So I will present some things here for your
consideration and ultimately your decision and final say on the idea.
Correct me if I am wrong.<I do not need to be told when to correct a slave> A slave is to some extent kept to a
strict sort of structure.<if that is what his/her top wishes> Now I know that you are busy and daily contact
with you is next to impossible. But is it possible to have 1 or 2 schedule
messages a week? <here we are this was the spot I was happy with & wanted to highlight, slave allan articulated what his needs/hopes are, I can now make a decision if I can meet them and decline or counter if I wish>The message could be as simple as (Are you behaving
slave?) Opening my inbox and seeing your name in bold print goes a long
way.<I understand this> I don't have to read the message, <if I take the time to message you, you need to read it as quickly as reasonably possible> just the bold print make me feel
secure and safe. Is that corny? <No allan, it's a normal way for a bottom to feel> There is a place where I need disciplinary
help. There is no denying we are friends and at times I managed to get my
leash long than I deserve. So where am I heading with this? Strict
deadlines. In our LDR physical bondage is for the most part not happening.
So might mental restraint such deadlines replace the physical ones. I
figure a deadline can restrain my mind almost as tight as cuffs on my
wrist. Plus it is a reminder to me that no matter how friendly we are. You
will always be my superior and owner, and no matter how friendly we are,
miss a deadline and my next message from you could be less enjoyable.
This next idea came to me as I am writing this and it leans to me being
control. You have several dominant friends that you trust a lot listed on
your profile. If I had to be in their friends' list, I would then be on
their radar, and if I venture out of my boundaries on Fetlife, one of them
might notice and tell you. <I appreciate the fantasy you are entertaining here allan, but not only no but hell no. It is pretty presumptuous to think my friends would want to keep an eye on you, my friends are as busy as I am & have no contractual or friendship based responsibility to you>  Knowing that someone might be watching for you
will keep me on my toes. It just an idea. I also have another idea to
suggest, but it could be an entire post itself. So it can wait for now.
<edit>
Since at the moment I am still a free agent I am able to speak with
slightly more freedom. I hope it is okay that I ask this question. <you may be a free agent, you are still a bottom and not my equal. If you find yourself pondering is it OK to ask this question, you should think on it until you are sure of the answer. You may ask whatever you wish, but if you insult me or annoy me I will dismiss you and be done, do you understand?>  Does
Mistress want me wearing her collar? An LDR takes two participants, and as
much as I can say yes to wanting the collar, there is an equal if not more
important opinion that matters. Yours. For me it is simple, I just have to
follow and obey. Which is easier than leading. <you narrowly wiggled through so boundary testing here. I am going to allow it this time because I am feeling oh so generous. And because I am feeling oh so generous I am going to indulge your need for public humiliation. I suspect it will not be such a sexy feeling when I am finished. Do not suggest that you, a player of like a year or two can tell me about what makes a good dynamic or an LDR. Do not ask me to restate a thing I have already stated- ie, I asked you if you wanted my collar back, I acknowledged your value to me and agreed to a task based tribute. Essentially moving you out of client realm and into collared, personal submissive realm. I do not recall hearing a thank you for my offer by the way.  Do you want me to reconsider? What does slave allan need to work on if we are going to have a new LDR collared commitment? Well he does always talk about the desire for realness while simultaneously requesting things like can I arrange for beautiful dominant women to cyber stalk him. You are being offered real, you will be shelving your fantasy Rolodex and serving me- full stop. I will give you as much or as little time as I wish, for any reason or no reason at all. It's noteworthy that you have failed to ask what tasks you might be expected to complete for me. It is likely that how much time I have for you will  be in some relation to how much of my time you are able to free up for me by completing what I ask of you. But this is not quid pro quo. This is you wish to be a slave, and you accept your station. Are we clear slave?> 

I better conclude here, so I can edit this and get it out to you before
time runs out. Whoa. One last thing, a task you assigned at the end of your
last post. Mistress as a sub I want to thank you for pointing out my errors
in my letter and for being merciful and not punishing me for them. I am
also starting to form a phobia to maple syrup :)
Bye

Mistress's Weekend Plans

Here it is Thursday afternoon and I realized that while my weekends are normally swamped with vanilla commitments this weekend is not! This weekend Mistress is going to a private fetish party and has ample time available for swinging my flogger at my studio too!  

While the party is a venue I am unfamiliar with and I am going with just one trusted friend, I am super excited to be having some fetish filled downtime. I have a pleasant hum of nervousness for meeting new people, and I high level of expectation for having a wonderful time. 

And I have time for weekend sessions! So many of my favorite subbies to play with have schedules that make weekends better than weekdays. It is so rare that I can accommodate the weekend requests, but this weekend I can. I wish I had taken a peek at my agenda sooner so I could have better shared my availability. But it's all good, my mute little subbies here will know I'm available once I hit "Publish".  

Let me wave my magic wand a bit and craft the perfect weekend, jump right in where you see you can be of service to me:

Early Friday I would like a pretty, slutty, little sissy in my studio. I need to play closet to decide what to wear and what toys to bring to the party. I'd like a girlfriend to help me decide. I'll put them in my pretty wigs and practice some extreme makeup ideas I'm contemplating for the party.

Saturday, while I won't be hungover, Mistress doesn't drink, I will be out late and perhaps not my most perkiest of selves. I need a good, working, service oriented slave to come serve me. I may very well wind up with a small afterparty at my studio if the new friends I meet are interesting enough. The floors may need to be scrubbed, and Mistress's feet will most definitely need servicing. And if you do a good job being my bitch, maybe I'll secure you to my doorway and lazily flog your bottom. 

Sunday. I need to recheck the forecast, but I think I saw that we'll have more rain on Sunday. Mistress loves rainy days. Sunday, rain or shine, Mistress would be down with a sensory session. Oh OK, Mistress is always down for a sensory session. Did I mention I picked up 3' wide plastic wrap for my playroom and a new blindfold? I have some new naughty ideas I want to try- ideas borrowed from others that I recently realized really spark my interest. Like mummified, blinded, scent identification. I want to tease a little cocooned subbie with my favorite scents, rewarding them for proper identification and lighting their ass on fire if they fail. 

Alright Mistress is going back to jamming to Shikira to get in the mood for tomorrow night.... if you are an established subbie & know my number, you have my permission to call today. If you are new subbie hoping to fit into my weekend you may email cassidycream15@gmail.com And should it come to pass that any of my subbies are going to be at the private party I mentioned, I expect that you will check in today so we can discuss my expectations for socializing outside of the studio. Assume that you can speak to me during my downtime without previous permission will not be met with kindness. I will assume that you are giving your consent to a public display of your worthlessness. 

Let's Talk About Language: Part One

In every pursuit one might investigate, there is a certain learning curve associated with learning the language of the particular interest. A sewing bobbin is not the same as a fishing bobbin, for example. Until you know what the unique meaning of a term is within a particular community, you won't be able to fully understand any instructional presentations and you won't be able to fully participate in the activities. In the BDSM scene specifically, not understanding the terms used by experienced players may compromise your safety or it may prevent you from meeting others best matched with your interests. Sometimes you can figure things out as you go, but this approach may lead to creating poor first impressions, or worse.
I'm going to share with you a few commonly used words and terms, and a quick definition of what I understand each to mean within the BDSM community. This is a list for beginners, just the basics for now. A couple will have multiple meanings, I will try to give an example that illustrates the context. Some may have other meanings within subsets of interests in the scene or may have a different meaning in your local community, I can not begin to know all of the possible meanings in those settings, so when you hear a word used in a context that doesn't fit your understanding of the word, politely ask for clarity from the person using the term. Take some comfort in remembering that everyone was a newbie at one time, and even seasoned professionals come across new to them terms occasionally.
Now, in no particular order, the words a new comer to BDSM should know:

• BDSM: Let's just start here, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sado- Masochism. Turn to your dictionary for the definitions of each. Here understand that it is short hand for all the fetishes, kinks, quirks and activities that fall, broadly, under one or more of those categories. Some activities associate with the bdsm scene may not fit neatly into one of those categories, Let's use cross dressing as an example. Cross dressing might be used as a form of humiliation or discipline, but cross dressing in & of itself, strictly speaking, doesn't quite fit. Yet, in my opinion, I would include it under the wide umbrella of bdsm. Let's not get too bogged down in details. BDSM: adult activities that cover a wide range of interests, that typically include bondage, discipline and/or sado-masochism.
• Vanilla: Like the ice cream, it implies things that are plain, ordinary or uncomplicated. I don't know that is a fair way to think of vanilla ice cream or vanilla life, both do have their subtle complexities & some of us consider vanilla our favorite, but all the same, 'vanilla' covers anything that isn't bdsm/scene related. One might use vanilla to refer to topics that are off-limits or out of bounds in the scene. We might refer to our family, job, or our interest in ice cream, as part of our vanilla life. For some there is barely any line between their vanilla and their scene identities & lives; for others there is an absolute, clearly established, 20 foot wall between their worlds. Whatever your own divide looks like, everyone should show the utmost respect to the divides of others.   
• Mistress/Master, Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/Dominant: I'm lumping these together to streamline the list. They are almost interchangeable but there might be subtle differences for the persons choosing them for themselves. Collectively they are probably the most commonly used titles and terms for females or males who are---funny, I am having such a hard time breaking this down for the imagined new comer I am explaining it to, We might say they are used for the person in charge, or the person presenting as the 'top' either in all matters or in a specific scene, but neither of those statements are really true. The Mistress/Master or Domme/Dominant is the person in the position of responsibility either in all matters or in a specific scene.  There, that is more accurate. Of this list, I personally do not care for the term "domme". After 16 years in the scene, I am still not certain how it is to be pronounced, I have heard it said the exact same way as 'dom', I have heard "do-me","dough-me", "dough-may" and "do-may". It is intended, I believe, to be the feminine version of dom which is the abbreviation for dominant. I find dominant to be gender neutral, and the use of domme to be unnecessary and redundant. But some women in the scene seem to like it, so if you are told to refer to someone as such, do so. 
• Slave/submissive/sub: In my opinion, these terms are less interchangeable than the terms for tops. To experienced players they often imply very different meanings, but they are commonly used interchangeably in various representations of the scene. Each suggests a person who has considered and negotiated their interests and boundaries and who wish to relinquish, temporarily or long-term, some or all of their responsibilities to another. A submissive might enjoy receiving discipline, may wish to be of service, or any one of countless activities associated with submitting one's self to another. A slave implies one who has, or who wishes to, submit more formally to another, For me, it implies one who is in service, or is seeking to be in service, typically under a well defined contract, which may be short term or long term, with specific, agreed to, limits and responsibilities assigned to each within the contract. The term "Collared", would also be appropriate for one in an on-going, formally agreed to situation.
• Switches, Bottoms & Tops: These words, while they do mean different things, are more alike than any other of the combos above. A switch is a person who moves between these definitions. It may be clearly defined roles, they submit to Mistress X but they dominate Person Y. Or that in different situations they enjoy different roles; in public they like to submit, in private the prefer to dominate. And it may be that they wear these different hats equally as often or that one is a rare activity while the other is their primary interest. One is a switch if they say they are a switch, and they are free to define it however it fits for them. A bottom is one who is in the position of receiving an action typically for a specific act without any implication of ongoing submission. A good example would be agreeing to receive a flogging for a demonstration on safe flogging practices. The receiver, the bottom, might be a submissive, they might be a dominant, they might be an adventurous vanilla person; whatever else they might be in the situation they are the bottom in that scene. A top is essentially the reverse of a bottom. A person who in a specific situation is administering an action, directing a scene or taking the responsibility of the scene. Again this may or may not be the hat they typically wear, but they are wearing it now. An example may be a submissive who is partnered with someone who identifies as a switch. They may not have an interest in this position, but they have agreed to for this scene with their dominant. Or if we applied to the demonstration example given for a bottom, they could be a dominant but they are not this bottom's Master. Their responsibility to this bottom will end when the scene ends.    

When I sat down to pen these ideas I had for an entry, I had no idea it would be so long. I've only covered half of the words I intended to, and the entry is about twice as long as I had imagined it would be. If you haven't already, create a bookmark so you won't miss part 2.