Do you like it? A Rant.

Mistress is in a mood. Mostly my mood is great. I am tackling my Sunday To Do List, my goal list is 95% checked and a new week starts tomorrow. We all remember that Monday's are my very most favorite day, right?

There's just this small part of my mood that wishes to poke a really sharp pencil in the eye of someone deserving of a pencil in their eye. I play Tori Amos Waitress in these moments. Truly, I believe in peace bitch. I do. But fuck you, you are annoying me and I can not suffer to be annoyed by a pain in the ass like you for another moment. I'll feel bad as soon as I stab you with the aforementioned pencil and then perhaps I can pity you and go back to being kind to you. I believe in peace bitch. The you in this case is just some random nobody on Fetlife. It could be a random nobody that pops into Chaturbate or Instagram or Wal-mart. You, random nobody are not allowed to be a pain in my ass. You are not allowed to ask me if I like it.
I love what I do. Listen I know in top mode all the dommes say, read my profile in it's entirety. Do not contact until you have read xy & z. I have said similar before. It is certainly helpful, and shows good manners if you do. But it is not really needed. You're busy? I get it, I am busy too. A quick scan, she offers impact play, she offers sounds, and she's in my area, perfect where's the contact information. I am perfectly OK with sessions that begin that way. I know that even if you only quick scan my profile, my ad, one entry here on my blog, whatever- one quick scan of anything I sat at the keys & penned will convey what I think is most important in a professional interaction. I love what I do. I am sincere, I am candid, and I am articulate as a mf'er. If you don't hear the respect I have for the community, if you can't hear the reverence that I hold for the scene, if you don't hear the love I have for my calling- you need to have your vision assessed.
Do I like it? There is one person on the planet who is allowed to ask me if I liked a thing related to BDSM. You are not him. Do you like this is a perfectly acceptable question for a Top to ask a bottom. I ask bottoms all the time if they like a thing. Anyone else, anyone presenting as a bottom, sub, slave, etc, asking should recognize how gross of a question it is, how thick with entitlement it is. You're not really asking if I like this activity, you're asking if I liked doing it with you. How dare you question me. I told you I love what I do, that statement does not imply anything positive or negative about how I feel about you. Nor does it need to. Do you ask your hair dresser if she likes cutting your hair? A hairdresser is an artist, called to a profession that's both emotionally and physically demanding. We can reasonably assume that every hair dresser on the planet loves what she does, but she might think you're an ass. If you ask if she likes it, she probably thinks you're an ass. Let me try again. Do you ask the emergency room doctor, the one you threw up on while she was arranging your broken arm for an X-ray if she likes her job? She loves her job. She should. She saves people. She helps people through emergencies. She is a God, and she is compensated well for it. And there are parts that are dangerous, dirty, and emotionally draining. There are times she doesn't like it. Their are patients who are rude, demanding, and ignorant; if she is a professional she treats them with compassion and kindness, but it is perfectly OK if she doesn't also like them.
Truthfully, I also like my job. I probably like you. I recognize that your faux pas are probably simply your unfamiliarity with protocols. Your poor manners, your bad breath, it is OK. We all have our shortcomings. We are sadly usually blind to them. Let me show you, correct you, guide you, gently,  into a more pleasing being. Let's make you the best version of yourself. It is going to be messy. It might be emotionally draining. It will probably hurt. We might not like it. Let's do it anyway.

Guess Who's Back?

I do so love being me. At the moment I love that people never really leave my life. It's true in my personal life, and it is true in my professional life where subbies I haven't seen in a decade contact me to bring me gifts, or this one after only a few months because he really misses doing tasks for me.

Do we all remember slave allan, My Q&A prompter? Say hello and welcome him back to the fold. Let's not feed his ego too much, but Mistress was missing him & his typos whenever she sat at a blank screen claiming she was working. He remains a free agent, he is not wearing my collar at this time, but still he's a thoughtful creature and he wanted to lend me a hand. Thank you slave.

 Hi, Allan here. I served Mistress Cassidy faithfully for a year. I would still be wearing her collar, but personal reason prevented me from being able to continue that commitment. I may not serve Mistress Cassidy as a collared slave anymore, but that does not mean I do not continue to follow her on social media. So, when I read her post in her group on Fetlife asking for a guest post on her blog, something in me stirred (no not sexually) but a sense of obligation to Mistress Cassidy. You see it is because of Mistress Cassidy that I have found a new devotion. By having to keep a slave blog for Mistress Cassidy I discovered a passion to write. In fact, even since being released from my collar I continued to keep my two fictional stories alive. But during my freedom, I have been learning about earning money online. One driving reason is to find a revenue source that I can continue tributing Owner and possibly be collared once again. I realized this after reading the guest post from her LDR slave about his edging challenge and wished that it was me in that throbbing frustrated state. But back to earning money. I have discovered several websites that pay between $50 to $200 just for writing blogs or as they call it "content". I am about to start a series about my quest to earn money online and how I took the discipline I learned by being a slave and apply that to saving money and leaving it in the bank. I bet a lot of you reading this did not know that you could make money from apps that you can download onto your phone. I will be writing content for every app I try and will write my opinion on how profitable it is. Mistress Cassidy also introduces me to another marketing idea that I am now researching, and it looks promising. But to know about that one you're going to have to plead with Mistress Cassidy for me to guest post again sometime. I do have two other motives to want to make a little money. One is I still want to become a hypno slave. I would love to have the resources to submit to being dominated several times a month. YouTube files are fun. But in my opinion, you need a live person one on one to lead you into a trance. What is the next thing that motivates me to earn money online? I never got a chance to use my smartphone-controlled vibrator. I still fantasize about a Mistress ordering me to penetrate myself with the device then going out in public and being at a Mistress's wicked mercy. That would most definitely make an interesting blog post. But for now, those are just wishes and goals. But as I grow my understanding of online commerce, I will also continue to follow Mistress Cassidy and her exploits.

Bye for now

Allan

Are you doing something... sexual right now?

I'm not being provocative, it is quote from my favorite scene in one of my favorite movies.

Secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal 

The movie is Secretary, with (deep sigh) Maggie Gyllenhaal. Isn't she divine? Sorry, Mistress was distracted for a moment there. If you haven't seen the movie, you should- it's smart, sexy and yes at times the story line is a bit problematic but it is light years more entertaining than 32 hues of blue or whatever that  'bdsm' movie is called. Let me share the scene for those that haven't seen it. Maggie's character, Lee Halloway,  has just runaway from trying on her would-be mother-in-law's wedding dress for her upcoming nuptials with the definitely not-kinky, lamb-like Peter. She ran back to her boss/dom, played by James Spader, who is having something of an OCD/mental health crisis himself (it is his character that causes me to use the term problematic over and over again during the movie but that's a review for another day). Spader's character, E. Edward Grey, orders Lee to sit at this desk, with her elbows on the table until he returns. Then the ass goes off to work out, but that's not where I was going. Lee is sitting at this desk, for days,  and the fiance` she just bailed on comes in, rips her away from the desk and asks (accuses) her, "Are you doing something.... sexual right now?" She looks up and says, "Does this look sexual to you?".
Sometimes muggles don't get what I do. Sometimes would-be clients don't get what I do. The most common misconception is that professional domination is perhaps a code word for escort, which of course most people think of as a more polite term for prostitution.
Am I sex worker? Sometimes I help my subs ease their private parts into a metal cage, with or without internal spikes, and slap a padlock on it. Does that sound like something sexual to you?
Until recently I my favorite over-used statement was, I do not engage in anything as pedestrian as sucking and fucking with my submisives. I still don't, I am just trying harder not to judge other people's kinks- if vanilla sucking and fucking do something special for you, who am I to knock it.
Is BDSM just about sex with a kinky twist? I am engaged in several personal BDSM based relationships. I do not wish to be crude but for the sake of clarity I will say it plainly, only one includes sex. Yet they all include an intense level of intimacy. Intense, what do I mean when I say intense? I have what is largely a long distance, service oriented arrangement with a very dear friend of mine. He was actually the person who suggested this subject matter for an entry. I have known him for over a decade. Our friendship spanned a period of life changing personal experiences for each of us, a time when our families grew and a time when we each experienced painful losses. He is having surgery in a few weeks. It is my intention to take a week or maybe 2 off during the busiest season of my job. I am going to travel 600 miles to hold him. I will assist with caring for his family. I will feed him soup, home made.  And will spank, burn, flog or whatever activity he feels will best support & assist his healing whenever he wishes. I will tell him repeatedly that he is my good boy and that I am so proud of him. Does that sound like something sexual to you?
A BDSM session is of course an adult experience. It is often an exploration of fantasies that are sexual nature, but it is more than that. It is an exploration of one's identity, a time to expand or affirm one's boundaries, and  a safe space for exposing one's soul.

Catch Me if You Can

Busy season has officially begun, hooray! My calendar is filling up nicely. I am going to the best events, meeting the coolest people and starting a bunch of projects that I am super excited about. Watch for updates on said cool projects soon, but in the mean time you can find me at the following events. You must have a Fetlife account to access the links, but it's super easy to set up an account and if you fancy yourself part of the scene you really need to have a Fetlife account.

Girls Only Sleepover with Princess-Geminihttps://fetlife.com/events/657843

Friday, April 27, 2018 · 3:00 PM –
Saturday, April 28, 2018 ·12:00 PM 

Flowerween - Chains Galore!https://fetlife.com/events/654579
Saturday, April 28, 2018 · 7:00 PM – 2:00 AM

2nd Annual Aprilweenhttps://fetlife.com/events/651585
Saturday, April 28, 2018 · 8:00 PM – 3:00 AM

https://fetlife.com/events/657855

Oh did you notice I have myself committed to two events on the same day and a third that overlaps the other two? I wasn't playing when I said it was busy season. 

Sunday April 29th 

Private sessions available in my private, central Mass, dungeon. 

Monday April 30th 

Traveling to Newport RI to play tourist for the day with a couple girlfriends. Would welcome an indulgent subbie companion to help keep us amused. 

Stoughton Munch
Wednesday, May 02, 2018 · 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM 

https://fetlife.com/events/657145
Princess Gemini's: May the 4th Be With You
Friday, May 04, 2018 · 9:00 PM – 2:00 AM

https://fetlife.com/events/658175
Princess-Gemini presents Purgatory Swingers & Fetish Newbie night
Wednesday, May 09, 2018 · 9:00 PM – 1:00 AM

https://fetlife.com/events/657854
Princess-Gemini's Providence Munch Free Video Game Arcade BAR
Wednesday, May 16, 2018 · 8:00 PM –11:00 PM

There are so many more events that need to be added here but Mistress is tired and still lacks a media manager. Come out to one of the weekend's parties, and watch this space for updates.

Eye Candy to make sure you make it all the way til the end of the post. I have the very best life and the very best job on the planet 

VIRTUAL SPACES:

Fetlife.com: MistressCassidy
email: cassidycream15@gmail.com
Twitter: Cassidy Cream
Insta: Cassidy Cream
Snap: cassidycream
KIK: Mistresscassidycream
Airtightlifestyle.com: Mistress Cassidy

TEXT ONLY: 401-287-2877

don't try to call me at that number, it is for text ONLY

and of course my currently defunct website www.cassidycream.com that I desperately need the assistance of web designer to get back up.

Guest Post: Slave Joe's Edging Adventures

I thought we should switch things up here a bit. Mistress has been naval gazing in her blog for a few entries now, which is my prerogative but I thought my mute little readers might like something new. To that end I requested my long distance slave, slave J* share his thoughts on his current experience. Mistress has introduced him to edging. I'm going easy on him, he's a newbie and I didn't wish to overwhelm him. The following are his thoughts in his words.

Day 1
When you gave me this edging task I kinda thought it would just be something new to try and it would be easy. It is harder than I thought. This morning it took me a little over 4 minutes to edge. I tried to hold as long as I could but after about 15 seconds I had to stop. I did not have an orgasm but fluid came out. I cleaned up but when I stood up more flowed out. For 2 hours after I really felt the urge to have an orgasm. Then this evening I went slower and it took me about 7 minutes to edge. I tried slowing down to almost stopping and then slowly masturbate again. I lasted 32 second this time. There was a lot more fluid this time and when I pulled my pants up and stood up, it just flowed out. I had to change my underpants. Now I just want to masturbate and reach orgasm. This is a very frustrating experience.

Day 2
This is a strange experience. I am masturbating in the morning before I go to work and again at night when I get home. It keeps me aroused all day long. It is really getting difficult Mistress. Today was not much different. In the morning I was erect in about 5 minutes and was able to stay on edge for 40 seconds. There was still a lot of fluid coming out. This evening it still took me about 5 minutes to edge but I could only edge for 10 seconds. I could tell if I did not stop I would have an orgasm. I did not have much fluid come out at all. I still feel very aroused though. 

I am really starting to struggle with the need for release. Mistress Cassidy may I Please! have an orgasm? ( Just received an email from my Mistress, she said no to continue edging). 

slave j*

It's Mistress again. He is actually on day 3 now, and I just sent him his instructions for tomorrow. Silly sub thought just because he said please I was going to let him orgasm. But he is doing such a good job, I thought I could extend just a little kindness so I gave him a choice. Tomorrow he may orgasm if he wishes, but he will have to find the time to edge 3 times a day daily for the next few days. Or if he chooses to delay one more day, he may orgasm on Friday and take the weekend off from his task. Let's see how much self-control he has. I am hoping that he has none! I think the entries from having to edge 3 times a day will be far more entertaining than an entry that reads I was a good sub, delayed my gratification and had a relaxing weekend.

Let's Talk About Language: Part One

In every pursuit one might investigate, there is a certain learning curve associated with learning the language of the particular interest. A sewing bobbin is not the same as a fishing bobbin, for example. Until you know what the unique meaning of a term is within a particular community, you won't be able to fully understand any instructional presentations and you won't be able to fully participate in the activities. In the BDSM scene specifically, not understanding the terms used by experienced players may compromise your safety or it may prevent you from meeting others best matched with your interests. Sometimes you can figure things out as you go, but this approach may lead to creating poor first impressions, or worse.
I'm going to share with you a few commonly used words and terms, and a quick definition of what I understand each to mean within the BDSM community. This is a list for beginners, just the basics for now. A couple will have multiple meanings, I will try to give an example that illustrates the context. Some may have other meanings within subsets of interests in the scene or may have a different meaning in your local community, I can not begin to know all of the possible meanings in those settings, so when you hear a word used in a context that doesn't fit your understanding of the word, politely ask for clarity from the person using the term. Take some comfort in remembering that everyone was a newbie at one time, and even seasoned professionals come across new to them terms occasionally.
Now, in no particular order, the words a new comer to BDSM should know:

• BDSM: Let's just start here, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sado- Masochism. Turn to your dictionary for the definitions of each. Here understand that it is short hand for all the fetishes, kinks, quirks and activities that fall, broadly, under one or more of those categories. Some activities associate with the bdsm scene may not fit neatly into one of those categories, Let's use cross dressing as an example. Cross dressing might be used as a form of humiliation or discipline, but cross dressing in & of itself, strictly speaking, doesn't quite fit. Yet, in my opinion, I would include it under the wide umbrella of bdsm. Let's not get too bogged down in details. BDSM: adult activities that cover a wide range of interests, that typically include bondage, discipline and/or sado-masochism.
• Vanilla: Like the ice cream, it implies things that are plain, ordinary or uncomplicated. I don't know that is a fair way to think of vanilla ice cream or vanilla life, both do have their subtle complexities & some of us consider vanilla our favorite, but all the same, 'vanilla' covers anything that isn't bdsm/scene related. One might use vanilla to refer to topics that are off-limits or out of bounds in the scene. We might refer to our family, job, or our interest in ice cream, as part of our vanilla life. For some there is barely any line between their vanilla and their scene identities & lives; for others there is an absolute, clearly established, 20 foot wall between their worlds. Whatever your own divide looks like, everyone should show the utmost respect to the divides of others.   
• Mistress/Master, Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/Dominant: I'm lumping these together to streamline the list. They are almost interchangeable but there might be subtle differences for the persons choosing them for themselves. Collectively they are probably the most commonly used titles and terms for females or males who are---funny, I am having such a hard time breaking this down for the imagined new comer I am explaining it to, We might say they are used for the person in charge, or the person presenting as the 'top' either in all matters or in a specific scene, but neither of those statements are really true. The Mistress/Master or Domme/Dominant is the person in the position of responsibility either in all matters or in a specific scene.  There, that is more accurate. Of this list, I personally do not care for the term "domme". After 16 years in the scene, I am still not certain how it is to be pronounced, I have heard it said the exact same way as 'dom', I have heard "do-me","dough-me", "dough-may" and "do-may". It is intended, I believe, to be the feminine version of dom which is the abbreviation for dominant. I find dominant to be gender neutral, and the use of domme to be unnecessary and redundant. But some women in the scene seem to like it, so if you are told to refer to someone as such, do so. 
• Slave/submissive/sub: In my opinion, these terms are less interchangeable than the terms for tops. To experienced players they often imply very different meanings, but they are commonly used interchangeably in various representations of the scene. Each suggests a person who has considered and negotiated their interests and boundaries and who wish to relinquish, temporarily or long-term, some or all of their responsibilities to another. A submissive might enjoy receiving discipline, may wish to be of service, or any one of countless activities associated with submitting one's self to another. A slave implies one who has, or who wishes to, submit more formally to another, For me, it implies one who is in service, or is seeking to be in service, typically under a well defined contract, which may be short term or long term, with specific, agreed to, limits and responsibilities assigned to each within the contract. The term "Collared", would also be appropriate for one in an on-going, formally agreed to situation.
• Switches, Bottoms & Tops: These words, while they do mean different things, are more alike than any other of the combos above. A switch is a person who moves between these definitions. It may be clearly defined roles, they submit to Mistress X but they dominate Person Y. Or that in different situations they enjoy different roles; in public they like to submit, in private the prefer to dominate. And it may be that they wear these different hats equally as often or that one is a rare activity while the other is their primary interest. One is a switch if they say they are a switch, and they are free to define it however it fits for them. A bottom is one who is in the position of receiving an action typically for a specific act without any implication of ongoing submission. A good example would be agreeing to receive a flogging for a demonstration on safe flogging practices. The receiver, the bottom, might be a submissive, they might be a dominant, they might be an adventurous vanilla person; whatever else they might be in the situation they are the bottom in that scene. A top is essentially the reverse of a bottom. A person who in a specific situation is administering an action, directing a scene or taking the responsibility of the scene. Again this may or may not be the hat they typically wear, but they are wearing it now. An example may be a submissive who is partnered with someone who identifies as a switch. They may not have an interest in this position, but they have agreed to for this scene with their dominant. Or if we applied to the demonstration example given for a bottom, they could be a dominant but they are not this bottom's Master. Their responsibility to this bottom will end when the scene ends.    

When I sat down to pen these ideas I had for an entry, I had no idea it would be so long. I've only covered half of the words I intended to, and the entry is about twice as long as I had imagined it would be. If you haven't already, create a bookmark so you won't miss part 2.