The Wheel

 It's almost my birthday <insert prezzies here> 

That's forty-eight years and three hundred, sixty-three days; unfiltered. 

I was at this event awhile back. They had a sign posted with their protocols, where to find the condoms, keep quiet if you're watching other's engage; you know standard party rules. But an item on the list was, "don't catch feels". I'm sure they intended it to be clever. But clearly it wasn't my scene. I'm here, on this planet, for nothing but the feels. There isn't anything else, I've looked. 

She told me, that she told him, that I loved him. Said it like she thought I was going to hurt her. To be fair, I was perched for bouncing a face off pavement. I had no idea what she was confessing. But did she think that was a secret? Never have I ever been accused of being hard to read. 

Nor would I wish to be. Someone was telling me about the worst sexual experience they had ever had. IDK, I have that vibe I guess. Anyway. The story was that someone tongue flicked their thigh for 5 minutes, super into it & unaware that it was a thigh they were flicking, then rolled over, jacked off and fell asleep. Did you tap them on the shoulder? Say ahem? Hit them with your riding crop? You didn't? You were there, right? 

I was at the mugglemarket yesterday. This (if I weren't committed) hardcore DILF was surfing a carriage. You know what I mean, holding himself up on the handle so his feet were off the ground, skating the carriage (buggy for my southern friends). I rolled up beside him, windows down and double dog dared him to take it across the whole lot. 

That's what middle age GenX'ers are going to be doing. 

Following our bliss, and living our best lives. 

For real, you should do the same. Like right now, there isn't anything else.  

Really It's a Pretty Wholesome Lifestyle

We're in my kitchen, there's a purple tablecloth on my table. It's not paisley, but it will make you think of Prince. Tupac is trying so hard to convince us he's a simple man, fuck the fame. Do simple men leave this mortal coil in a blaze of bullets, in Vegas? It's your story Mr Shakur, spin it anyway you wish. 

Yesterday Ms. Dahlia and I were being silly on the phone. Being silly on the phone with Dahlia is a line item on my resume. Anyway, I said, I feel like I have had a very conservative sex life. Then I said, many times, stop laughing. Right now, stop it. 

YouTube drift just gave me Powerman 5000, are you ready?  

My breakfast included Brussel sprouts and miso soup. I made it myself, like a boss. Sadly, today, I served myself, like a muggle. I feel like consuming Brussel sprouts before 9am is the epitome of wholesome. 

My top was the first man ever in the history of all time to ever... hmm. I'm going to finish that sentence when I copy this to Fetlife. I was 45. The missing words? They're really not that shocking, I think it's far more shocking that I was 45 the first time I experienced it. Listen, Mr Shakur might be a freak and let you get up on top of him. Bitches on top? We be wild up in here. 

Oh, well yes, that thing my top did? I have caused probably several thousands of men to do the same. Yes, to their own  {Fetlife edit}

Dahlia and I lived out one of our Sister Wives fantasies at Canobie Lake Park recently. Um, that is the fantasy. Put your junk away, no one's getting naked.  Sister Wives= women in a platonic relationship, who's immortality investments are raised, provided for and protected by a fierce collection of adults, mostly women.  Fantasizing about a conservative religious based practice seems pretty wholesome to me. I mean, as long we keep our clothes on. 

Oh right, I was also in trouble that day. I sent Master John more filtered pictures, He h8s them. We have very different top styles. I suspect astute lifestyle readers know exactly what's written in between the lines. Anyway, I sent filtered pictures the day before I was spending the day deep in vanilla, with a high probability of muggle interactions. And he tossed me right in the briar patch, who knew that would happen? I may share the deets on Fet. I don't know, as much as I did totes ask for it, it was a rather intense punishment. 

Sea moss, acai berry, water kefir smoothies. 

My poodle's name is Fiona, we call her FiFi sometimes.

Before bed FiFi and I chill out by watching videos of bento box ideas and charcuterie board building.

Today fairies from the Amazon are bringing me toothpicks with little ceramic animals, like sea turtles. 

There's both sprouts and micro-greens growing in my kitchen. 

June Cleaver, Donna Reed and Martha Stewart combined aren't as wholesome as me. 

And also

I met a client after an event. I was wearing an ethereal floaty sheer black ensemble with my spiked, cbt stems. I wore them at Canobie too. The woman behind me coming out of the Turkish Twist tapped me on the shoulder to declare, you're shoes are terrifying. I said please be careful, it's possible there's a little blood on them. Neither of us were fibbing. My client met me at an uppity mugglemarket, where I had him {fetlife edit} in the parking lot before he lived out his fantasy of taking a Goddess shopping while {more of the same}. 

Really, I live a wholesome, simple life. 

Self-Care Sunday

Of the authentic variety, not the bubble bath version. Authentic self-care is a concept I have been working on embracing for the past year or so. Build a life you do not wish or need to escape. The bubble bath variety has merit, but selfcare via bath bombs and pedicures is at best a bandaid or a pacifier. As someone with many little vanilla responsibilities I value bandaids and pacifiers greatly. But also, one should learn to avoid things that cut them and one should plan for how they meet their needs so as not to frequently require a distraction from the discomfort of an unmet one.

It is a grey, wet, slightly chilly Sunday. I loved every word in that sentence. Mondays are my favorite, you know that already, but Sundays are pretty cool too. Fridays and Saturdays are more challenging to enjoy. Enjoying the end of a week for me is tied tightly to whether I feel like the week went in the direction I wished it to go, the direction I worked for it to go. Sunday anything is possible, there is just a little pressure to plan with foresight. Anything is possible, so let's choose the best of the possibilities.
I pen my schedule on Sundays, I do this after I consider my goals for the week. This week's goals includes re-committing to writing here. There is a second post scheduled for Wednesday. We'll see how that works. Slave alan and I have been playing the ball is in your court now with a couple ideas that we can't seem to find a moment to fully flesh out. They're cool ideas though, hold your breath and watch for them. I think they'll come together soon.

I continue to love broadcasting with Streamates: Follow Me Here I very much want to bend my schedule until I can fit 20 hours of live broadcasts a week, best I can do so far is nine. I will be camming Sunday, Wednesday and Friday evenings from 10pm til 1am EST. I may get there earlier some days. There may be bonus broadcasts some days. Follow my platforms below so you don't miss those. Sun, Wed and Fri are set in stone until further notice.

Private sessions, online and in person, are available on Monday, and  Tuesday this week. That schedule is not set in stone, that only applies this week. Wednesday day is all about the new project Jeunesse . Do you see that picture? Forty-six and 11/12ths. Yep, mostly that is the DNA fairy dealing me a very nice hand, and my avoidance of vices stronger than insomnia, caffeine and nicotine. I see a glow and sparkle that wasn't there two months ago though. I tap on Instantly Ageless, and I watch my laugh lines erase themselves. I haven't lied about my age since I was 15, and I have no intention of ever doing so again. I am all about owning my experience and my endurance, but I am also all about doing so while looking hotter than the sun and feeling healthier than I have in a decade or more.  I picked up an extra box of this tube of immortality to share, ask nicely and perhaps I'll hook you up. Thursday I will be completely unavailable to you unless you carry my DNA. About two months ago I declared that there would be a mandatory vanilla day every week. I kept with this plan for about 3 weeks. Then work picked up, I was submerged in I love my job energy and next thing I knew 3 weeks had gone by. This week, Thursday will be mandatory vanilla day.

There is one more thing. Do I announce it now or wait until it is fully fleshed out? Hmm, have you ever known me to wait until I thing is finished to announce it? Have you ever known me to exhibit self-control and patience? Ready? Ask nicely...Princess Gemini and I will be collaborating together again! We have a couple things on the drawing board. There is the vanilla thing you've seen me leak teasers about if you know me in the vanilla world. That launches this week, I mean it this time. I have said it here now, it must be true. The other projects are not as far along. They're not nearly as far along as Gemmi who's all, Cassidy I am growing a whole human being, my plate is full. And I'm all, here's your unicycle.

Virtual Spaces

Camming: Streamates

Immortality: Jeunesse  

email: cassidycream15@gmail.com

Fetlife: MistressCassidy

Twitter: Cassidy Cream

Insta: CassidyCreamV2

Snap: cassidycream

KIK: Mistresscassidycream

Amazon: wishlist

Who Knew Mornings Looked Like This?

Since April 28th I have taken a photo every morning for my top. I am not a morning person. I have never, ever, under any circumstance, been a morning person. I often stay up all night and I see the sunrise from that angle. I can't recall a time I saw it after waking up. 

I started working out a few times a week on that date too. It was suppose to be daily. I wasn't very good at keeping to that request. My argument went something like: I am incredibly active, I get at least 25 minutes of aerobic activity a day, I've been a 2 pack a day smoker for 30 years and btw there are only 24 hours in a day.

On July 24th an awful thing happened. Remember I asked you to respect my privacy on that one. I am still holding you to that request. I am only referring back to it so I might say, on July 25th I decided I had to again make dramatic changes to how I do things. 

That happens. There is a yin-yang tattoo on the back of my neck, balance.  Balance isn't a static thing. It is not this and that being equal at all times. It is this grows, so that shirks. This expands and that must contract. It is this approach worked for all this time, but time has moved forward and so must you. 

One of the first things I had to address was my finances. I don't wish to overshare on my blog. Stop laughing. Showing my breasts is not oversharing, that's just playful teasing. Sharing my bank statements, that's oversharing. Those that know me know the circumstances that returned me to Virginia, and those that do not, well you probably don't need to know. My finances did not, that could be the complete statement right there. My finances did not. I entertained a couple of ideas. They all would have ended with sacrificing one or the other of the two things I feel most passionately about. Everyone reading knows what one of those is, right? I am not ready to retire. Some of you know what the other is, I am not asking that corner of my world to make another sacrifice ever again.

A very good friend of mine had talked to me a couple of times about the company they were investing their time in, and I revisited the idea with them. And I went in circles with the idea for a little bit. I have done direct sales before. I am pretty sure I promoted Avon on this blog for a little while, remember? I love Avon. I have a package of Skin So Soft wipes in my purse right now, and another in my glove box. And, I bet the other 6 Avon Ladies that live in my complex do too. I support my friends who work in direct sales. Because when it comes down to it, it is a form of business ownership that is within the reach of most people's budgets. I love Athena's toys, and when I am in the mood for a new battery powered partner, I need to check my notes to remember which of my Goddess friends I ordered from last time.  This company is brand new to the US market, my upline is part of the team bringing it to the US. I love Jamberry Nails, but when I want to change the color on my toes, I don't want to bust out my hair dryer. Jeunesse is health and wellness, there are no gimmicks in any of our lines. Wait, that may be the conflict I can't get past there. Health and wellness. Anyone who has eaten at my table has been subjected to a lecture on denatured proteins that happen when cereal is created using high heat extrusion to create puffs, flakes & special shapes. Anyone who has eaten at my table has likely been fed tomato sauce that was canned in my kitchen from tomatoes grown in my garden, seasoned with basil from my window box. My credibility on a subject I am passionate about can not be bought with an all expenses paid trip to Orlando. Even if I am put up in a suite at the Hyatt Regency on the 14th floor with a breathtaking view, an oversized bathtub and treated like a princess. Thankfully, it can be leased.  The science behind our skincare line is cutting edge. The nutritional composition of our supplements is based on a sound research.  And if you can't just take my word for it, because a woman who looks like me can't possibly also understand complex studies, or advanced scientific theories, I'll just smile and send you the links. 

I started taking Jeunesse AM & PM supplements the last week of July. Since then I have added several other products to my routine, but those were what I opted to try first.

Every day since August 1st I have worked out for a half hour within the first hour I am awake. 

One of the ethical standards hammered home in the training through Jeunesse is full disclosure. No trick lighting, no claims of curing illness, if other things factored into the results your presenting- state them. So in the name of full disclosure, on August 7th I began taking Wellbutrin to assist with the next thing I am going to state. 

On August 9th, which for the record was fifty-four days ago, I quit smoking.  

That's a photo I sent to my top maybe a week ago. It was around 9:30 in the morning. I had worked out already. I had meditated. Breakfast soup was simmering. Cassidy's Castle had been tidied up. Showering, supplements, medicine and day make-up were all checked off my To Do List. I don't think I had had my caffeine yet. I may have, and I don't want to fib. But um, ya, kind of look a little like a morning person.  I look like I am happy about it too. This is what every morning looks like now. 

And yes, I do want to grow my team. Why wouldn't I? This has been an amazing journey for me already and I know it's only going to grow from here. So go check out my site and shoot me a text. Because I haven't said anything about the travel opportunities or the philanthropy arm of the company, Jeunesse Kids, yet.  I haven't said anything about my upline and how much I have learned from them already. I suppose I implied how well the products work, but I haven't shown ya the video of wrinkles erasing themselves. 

Next entry, I promise I won't make you wait a month again for the next entry, we'll get back to indulging all you little voyeurs. 

New Projects!

Mistress has a bunch of new projects kicking off next week, and I so want to share them with my mute friends here but I'm not quite ready for that....
Hmm- what can I share?
I can share that I am really enjoying the new fetish/social network being offered HERE. While there aren't many members yet, that's kind of nice. Meet the other first members without having too many groups, blogs & chatting to distract you.
I can share that I am actively looking for subs interested in being filmed. Must be willing to sign a model release and provide a copy of your ID, but face obscured is A-OK with me.
And I can share that I am officially adding ASMR to my repertoire. I have a short shopping list of items I'd like to play with, but  I know I could have an interesting ASMR session working with what I have already on hand.
Three posts in one week. Is that a sign of what to expect as the seasons change? I don't know, it might be. Hold your breath and stayed tuned.

Q & A with Mistress Part Two

I enjoyed how the first Q&A (click here to read) went and hope to make it a regular feature. Of course it would be much easier to insure that it becomes a regular feature if all my mute fans would submit a question or two for me to answer.  Poor slave allan is going to run out of questions. 

Once again my owner has graced us with the answers to a couple of my question. So, who am I. Simply put, I am Mistress Cassidy collared slave allan, otherwise referred to as her secretary slave. This is the second time Mistress has given us a glimpse behind the women who owns me. And with luck this will not be the last time either. If you have not read Mistress’s first Q@A please take a moment later on to check it out. In that blog Mistress bluntly pointed out that typos that got by me would be punished. So in an attempt to save of any errors, I have use my Word program to help me catch any mistakes.

Mistress I am reasonable sure there are no mistakes in my spelling or grammar. But if a reader or youself find one, please point it out so I can learn from my mistake. I have had this project for quite sometime, and I hope my work is pleasing enough to my owner, to earns me brownie points against my tardiness.  Now lets move onto the Q and A

                                           

When everything is said and done at the end of the day. How does Mistress Cassidy unwind? Social Media or Television.

I spend entirely too much time online, but I don't consider that downtime. Most days I spend a couple hours online screening messages, responding and promoting my sessions. I also have a couple vanilla projects that require an online presence doing much the same things in different settings.  I always imagine that I'm going to be able to sit at my laptop, whip through these tasks and then get spend some time catching up with friends, indulging my Pinterest addiction and veg out with an audio-book or eBook. Of course, it never works out that way. As to what do I watch when I have time to relax. I love how entertainment has evolved in my lifetime. I love that at any time, on any day, I can check out a new to me show. If I love it I can binge as many available episodes and/or seasons as my schedule allows. I loved the Handmaiden's Tale. I thought the show did a great job staying true to the original story. I liked Harlots and I am impatiently waiting to find out when the next season will be released. I am a Dr. Who fan and I am so excited that the next doctor is being played by Jodie Whittaker. I have a love-hate relationship with Game of Thrones- which has not stayed true to the books & the cliff hangers make me want to hurt someone. I'm a fan of Criminal Minds, I love that Paget Brewster has returned to the series and I am not sad that Thomas Gibson left. I am sad that Orphan Black is on its last season. And my other favorite reality show, Project Runway, is just about to start up again- so I am super excited about that too. 

   

                                                                Just some Of Mistress Cassidy's favorite shows

With all the different fashions you have seen over the years, what is your opinion of the clothing that young adults are wearing now. And would you consider the clothing too revealing? 

Not at all. I'm turning 45 this November. As a teen the most influential fashion icons for me were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Sheila E, Prince and artists like them.

          

Madonna in ruffly skirts with net tops & combat boots, Cyndi with half her head shaved, two tons of thrift store jewelry and plaid evening gowns, and Prince with one-legged pants and cropped top formal jackets- I loved those looks. I was just a bit too young for first wave punk, but the way the individuality and rebellious looks of punk trickled into mainstream pop at the time had a lasting effect on my personal style. I think, with few exceptions, modern fashion is uninspiring, unimaginative and rather conservative.

I don't think it's a sign of my age, but I don't get the controversy that follows stars like Miley Cyrus. I remember reading scathing reviews of her "teddy bear teddy" and bikini with the foam #1 hand prop. I didn't care for either look, but not because they were too provocative- how is a teddy bear bathing suit provocative??? I didn't care for the looks because they were goofy and she didn't look comfortable in them. And I don't mean the comfort of yoga pants, I mean the comfort of this is my body, I know I look hotter than the sun and I enjoy looking this way

                                         

I don't see many younger women (or men for that matter) rocking looks that they seem to own. I have seen many naked bodies in my 44 years, how much or how little clothing one wears is no longer surprising, shocking or inspiring to me. Confidence is the only thing that catches my eye these days.  

Happy Fourth

With the fourth falling on a Tuesday this year, it's like having a bonus Monday this week. Note to new friends: Mistress's favorite day of the week is Monday. No really, I <3 Mondays. They are the best day of the week.
So in honor of the pretend Monday, we'll have on Wednesday this week, let's revisit the Monday's List post idea.
Mistress has some needs, and a bulleted list seems the best way to share them.

• A craftsman. Mistress would like some new pieces and her regular carpenter is overbooked this summer. Must have samples of work and give impeccable attention to safety and durability. 
• A videographer. Mistress wants to explore offering audio recordings, primarily hypnosis recordings, and video clips, video blog entries and clips from my sessions. What I most need help with is setting up a recording space in my playspace and purchasing the right equipment.
• Someone who understands bitcoins and could help me decide if this is a payment option I should explore. 
• A real estate agent. 
• A web designer. At this point, I need more than a hobbyist. 
• Mistress Sarah needs bodies to practice on. 

And if you need some motivation, here are some pictures of Mistress Sarah....

A Quick Post by Mistress, Link to a New Post by slave allan

As I said in my last post, I am just swamped with electronic-paperwork and assorted projects in and out of the dungeon. A new one was added to my plate last night, my landlord has asked if I could move from my lovely second-floor space to his third-floor unit. In truth, the third floor is in better condition overall; but smoking Mistress Cassidy wants to climb 2 flights of stairs not the fuck at all. There was a legitimate and acceptable reason for the move, and I will be accommodating his request while swearing quite a bit about it. Local subbies wishing to be of service, message me immediately to help me move my gear.
While tackling some of the assorted, never-ending electric paper stuff this rainy afternoon, I had a notification that my LD collared slave allan had updated his blog. I assigned him a subject matter earlier in the week, and then quite forgot about it. The ding of the notification was a welcomed break from the monotonous youtube video I was watching that explains the steps for a vanilla project I am working on. slave allan's assignment was to write about chastity devices. I love chastity devices & key holding. I may write an entry about it soon, but this isn't that entry. I know chastity is not a hot button for slave allan. I believe he would endure it if I requested it, but it would be impractical at this time for the dynamics of our contract. It has been my intention recently to assign him tasks and administer punishments that are outside of his knowledge base but of course within his comfort zone. Remind me to share the story about why he had to stick his hand in maple syrup for 10 minutes. Chastity training fit that bill for this week's blog assignment. As I knew it would be, his entry is a quick but thorough exploration of the history of male chastity devices, well-worded commentary on current use and a few picture examples of modern devices. The history component was his own spin on the assignment, which I appreciate. I  have no use for mindless drones who write what I dictate without expanding on the ideas. After the maple syrup punishment, I felt my devoted secretary slave would appreciate a little public praise.
So go check out his blog, and wait for my follow up on what I love about chastity training soon.

secretary slave allan

My Dominatrix Fantasy verses Real Life as a Dominatrix

There will be no Monday's List this week. I am simply swamped with commitments in every area of my life. I imagine that some readers are thinking something along the lines of, why doesn't she delegate some of this work to her stable of subs? That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.
In my fantasy life as a dominatrix I might imagine that my day looks something like; wake up at the hour of my choosing, to birds chirping and a breakfast tray of pastries and fresh squeezed juice. Served to me by a sub who bears a striking resemblance to Alton Brown, and is his culinary equal. A Bowie look-a-like draws my bath and sings to me while I soak in a bubble-filled tub that JK Rowling used as the inspiration for describing the bath in the fourth Harry Potter book. Madeleine Stowe's doppelganger lays out my clothing and helps me dress. All the while a team of grooms are hard at work in my stable preparing my pony for a relaxing romp around the grounds and another team of secretaries are screening and scheduling sessions that will amuse and stimulate me for that evening. The grooms and secretaries might resemble Prince, Cynthia Ettinger, Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman and Johnny Depp in a pirate costume; my tastes are eclectic like that. My evening sessions would be a charming X-dresser who wants to be dressed up like a blushing bride and given a lesson in etiquette, followed by a sensory deprivation session with a side of forced smoking, and wrapping up the night I'd have a pain slut with resilient skin who wants to be covered with welts and bruises. Each sub would arrive on time, bearing chocolates and flowers, and they would smell like soap & toothpaste. I would return home to slave-chef Alton serving something new & delicious and all of my celeb impersonating subs would reenact my favorite scenes from my favorite movies. He couldn't quite understand that the charge nurse couldn't make it be yesterday. Thank you very much, Albert Einstein.* 
I am blessed. My real world does, in some areas at least, mimic my fantasy life. I spend my free time riding my pony. I am often indulged and treated to masterful meals. The vast majority of my clients are timely, well-groomed and a ball to play with. But at the end of the day, being a dominatrix is my business. It is a career that I love, but there are components to it that are work, just like any other job. I can not delegate screening clients to a sub. It would compromise my clients' privacy and it would be impossible to teach a sub to hear the things I hear when I interact with potential clients. I can not task subs with managing my advertisement. When advertising an adult service, the venues I advertise with have various safety & legal protocols. I am often asked to verify personal information such as my legal name, my residence and even my tax ID information. Even if I had a slave who I trusted with that information, it is actually crossing into some legal gray areas to create an advertisement for another in an adult industry. I only trust myself to clean my gear and playspace to my standards.
So it's back to the trenches for me. Branding, advertising, screening potentials and upkeeping the dungeon. The really cool idea I planned on unveiling a week or so ago? The one I imagine is going to be so much fun when it is up & running? Ya, well, creating a merchant account with a reputable provider who is adult industry friendly is proving a bit more challenging than I thought it would be. I'm in a holding pattern waiting for my site to be screen & approved. The assorted great ideas I have for posts here? They're still shorthand notes on my paper To Do List.
 But stay tuned, I'll catch up soon.
* If you can name the movie that quote is from, without using google, I'll publically declare how very cool you must be.

Tuesday is the New Monday

What's better than any Monday? A Monday that also happens to be the first of a new month! If Monday is a new notebook, with infinite possibilities; a month starting on a Monday is a new Trapper Keeper with matching folders. Mistress is a bit of a dork, I am OK with this. You should be too or you should look for a new dominant to follow and/or serve. 

• New Toys: If I'm not mistaken this will be the third time I type, no new toys lately. It's almost like my wishlist isn't posted on my website & my subbies don't know what I need. 
• Nail & toe polish: Completely naked on both fronts. I've been in the garden or the stable every moment it hasn't been raining. A deep moisturizing session is in order before fresh paint. 
• New Projects: Steady progress is being made on the as yet unrevealed new project. I'm hoping it will be ready for sharing in the next week or so...hold your breath for me, it may make me work faster. Oh OK that's a fib, but it will amuse me if you turn blue like a smurf for a minute or two.
• Ebook Updates: Progress here! Yay! My muse started singing and I banged out another few pages and edited what was done previously. I'm going to remove my self-imposed deadline here. It was intended to motivate me, it failed.The ideas come when the ideas come, forcing it when it's just not happening makes it sound awkward and labored.  
• Looking forward to (scene): I have a couple of old friends stopping in the studio over the next few days. Looking forward to some extended scenes. There's also a couple of rough draft entries awaiting tidying up & posting here. Watch for them. 
• Looking forward to (vanilla): We can probably just always assume that this space will contain the words horse, garden in some combination until summer. At that time it will be edited to say horse, garden, pool, beach. 

Monday's List: On Tuesday

My vanilla world has been a little full the past few days, so this week's Monday List took til Tuesday to exist. Oops. 

• Available Days: I'm not sure if I have any days open this week. Again, my vanilla obligations are a bit more full than normal. I may have some time open on Thursday, the weekend looks promising too. 
• New Toys: No toy shopping again this week 😞 But remember when I mentioned that affiliate program that didn't want to work with an adult website? If you're a new reader, don't worry about it. What you need to know now is that my blog & website were approved to promote a wicked cool adult store. The store is called "Love Honey". They offer a great points program, you get a # of points for each $ you spend and then you can apply those points to future orders.  And if you order from them using a link here  or on cassidycream.com  I will receive a small commission for the referral. Expect to see reviews of some cool toys soon.   I can't seem to put the link in correctly here.... 
  Making the right sex toy choice is easy thanks to real customer sex toy reviews at Lovehoney.com
• Nail & toe polish: My toes are still a navy blue, a pedi is on the agenda later on this rainy day. I'm thinking Goth Black. My nails are a really sweet rose colored glitter, but I've misplaced the bottle & I have no idea what the name of the color is. 
• New Projects: I have a couple of projects that I am super excited about. Neither is really ready for the big reveal yet though. At least one of them will be unveiled in the next few days. Come back & watch for it. 
• Ebook Updates: Ya, nothing to see here. That line on my daily To Do List has remained un-checked for days & days now. 
• Looking forward to (scene): I think, fingers crossed, I'm finally going to get around to taking some new photos. 
• Looking forward to (vanilla): I did get some of the work I had planned for the garden done when the weather cooperated for 1 minute the other day. Looks like it's going to rain forever now. No pony riding, and no digging in the dirt until it stops. I may build a fire in the fireplace one last time tonight though, it's really not chilly enough to justify it but I'm going to miss it over the summer. 

Monday's List: April 17th

Mistress had a wonderful Easter with friends and family that I do not get to see nearly often enough. I hope my readers and subs had the same. I am refreshed and eager to swing my flogger soon.
A week ago I introduced a new, regular feature on this blog. The Monday List, last week's can be found here. The following is this week's list:

• Available Days: I have time available Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday this week.
• New Toys: Sadly I have not done any toy shopping. It's on the agenda to order a new ball gag, seems one of my favorites disappeared. 
• Nail & toe polish: My pamper toes are sporting a navy blue, my fingernails are naked at the moment. Before the day is over they'll be "Crime of Passion" red. 
• New Projects: I assigned Slave allan, a project that amused me last week. I must remember to follow up & see if he completed it satisfactorily. 
• Ebook Updates: I'm excited to share that my ebook idea came off the "To Do Soon" list, and moved to the "Off to a Good Start" list. A slow start, just 450 words without editing, but a slow start is still a start. 
• Looking forward to (scene): I have a couple of fun sessions scheduled for this week. If you ask nicely perhaps I'll share the details in an upcoming post. If you beg and whimper, maybe I'll post pictures too.  
• Looking forward to (vanilla): Gardening! I planted about 150 bulbs last fall; daffodils, tulips, irises, gladiolas and saffron crocuses. They're all poking through the soil, and 2 yellow daffodils are just about ready to bloom. This week I'll be spring cleaning the veggie beds and making final decisions about what I'm planting this year. 

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Let's Talk About Language: Part One

In every pursuit one might investigate, there is a certain learning curve associated with learning the language of the particular interest. A sewing bobbin is not the same as a fishing bobbin, for example. Until you know what the unique meaning of a term is within a particular community, you won't be able to fully understand any instructional presentations and you won't be able to fully participate in the activities. In the BDSM scene specifically, not understanding the terms used by experienced players may compromise your safety or it may prevent you from meeting others best matched with your interests. Sometimes you can figure things out as you go, but this approach may lead to creating poor first impressions, or worse.
I'm going to share with you a few commonly used words and terms, and a quick definition of what I understand each to mean within the BDSM community. This is a list for beginners, just the basics for now. A couple will have multiple meanings, I will try to give an example that illustrates the context. Some may have other meanings within subsets of interests in the scene or may have a different meaning in your local community, I can not begin to know all of the possible meanings in those settings, so when you hear a word used in a context that doesn't fit your understanding of the word, politely ask for clarity from the person using the term. Take some comfort in remembering that everyone was a newbie at one time, and even seasoned professionals come across new to them terms occasionally.
Now, in no particular order, the words a new comer to BDSM should know:

• BDSM: Let's just start here, BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sado- Masochism. Turn to your dictionary for the definitions of each. Here understand that it is short hand for all the fetishes, kinks, quirks and activities that fall, broadly, under one or more of those categories. Some activities associate with the bdsm scene may not fit neatly into one of those categories, Let's use cross dressing as an example. Cross dressing might be used as a form of humiliation or discipline, but cross dressing in & of itself, strictly speaking, doesn't quite fit. Yet, in my opinion, I would include it under the wide umbrella of bdsm. Let's not get too bogged down in details. BDSM: adult activities that cover a wide range of interests, that typically include bondage, discipline and/or sado-masochism.
• Vanilla: Like the ice cream, it implies things that are plain, ordinary or uncomplicated. I don't know that is a fair way to think of vanilla ice cream or vanilla life, both do have their subtle complexities & some of us consider vanilla our favorite, but all the same, 'vanilla' covers anything that isn't bdsm/scene related. One might use vanilla to refer to topics that are off-limits or out of bounds in the scene. We might refer to our family, job, or our interest in ice cream, as part of our vanilla life. For some there is barely any line between their vanilla and their scene identities & lives; for others there is an absolute, clearly established, 20 foot wall between their worlds. Whatever your own divide looks like, everyone should show the utmost respect to the divides of others.   
• Mistress/Master, Dominatrix/Domme/Dom/Dominant: I'm lumping these together to streamline the list. They are almost interchangeable but there might be subtle differences for the persons choosing them for themselves. Collectively they are probably the most commonly used titles and terms for females or males who are---funny, I am having such a hard time breaking this down for the imagined new comer I am explaining it to, We might say they are used for the person in charge, or the person presenting as the 'top' either in all matters or in a specific scene, but neither of those statements are really true. The Mistress/Master or Domme/Dominant is the person in the position of responsibility either in all matters or in a specific scene.  There, that is more accurate. Of this list, I personally do not care for the term "domme". After 16 years in the scene, I am still not certain how it is to be pronounced, I have heard it said the exact same way as 'dom', I have heard "do-me","dough-me", "dough-may" and "do-may". It is intended, I believe, to be the feminine version of dom which is the abbreviation for dominant. I find dominant to be gender neutral, and the use of domme to be unnecessary and redundant. But some women in the scene seem to like it, so if you are told to refer to someone as such, do so. 
• Slave/submissive/sub: In my opinion, these terms are less interchangeable than the terms for tops. To experienced players they often imply very different meanings, but they are commonly used interchangeably in various representations of the scene. Each suggests a person who has considered and negotiated their interests and boundaries and who wish to relinquish, temporarily or long-term, some or all of their responsibilities to another. A submissive might enjoy receiving discipline, may wish to be of service, or any one of countless activities associated with submitting one's self to another. A slave implies one who has, or who wishes to, submit more formally to another, For me, it implies one who is in service, or is seeking to be in service, typically under a well defined contract, which may be short term or long term, with specific, agreed to, limits and responsibilities assigned to each within the contract. The term "Collared", would also be appropriate for one in an on-going, formally agreed to situation.
• Switches, Bottoms & Tops: These words, while they do mean different things, are more alike than any other of the combos above. A switch is a person who moves between these definitions. It may be clearly defined roles, they submit to Mistress X but they dominate Person Y. Or that in different situations they enjoy different roles; in public they like to submit, in private the prefer to dominate. And it may be that they wear these different hats equally as often or that one is a rare activity while the other is their primary interest. One is a switch if they say they are a switch, and they are free to define it however it fits for them. A bottom is one who is in the position of receiving an action typically for a specific act without any implication of ongoing submission. A good example would be agreeing to receive a flogging for a demonstration on safe flogging practices. The receiver, the bottom, might be a submissive, they might be a dominant, they might be an adventurous vanilla person; whatever else they might be in the situation they are the bottom in that scene. A top is essentially the reverse of a bottom. A person who in a specific situation is administering an action, directing a scene or taking the responsibility of the scene. Again this may or may not be the hat they typically wear, but they are wearing it now. An example may be a submissive who is partnered with someone who identifies as a switch. They may not have an interest in this position, but they have agreed to for this scene with their dominant. Or if we applied to the demonstration example given for a bottom, they could be a dominant but they are not this bottom's Master. Their responsibility to this bottom will end when the scene ends.    

When I sat down to pen these ideas I had for an entry, I had no idea it would be so long. I've only covered half of the words I intended to, and the entry is about twice as long as I had imagined it would be. If you haven't already, create a bookmark so you won't miss part 2.