Little Late: Tuesday Q&A with slave allan

Typically I try to write my posts on Sundays. They'll sit waiting for a last spellcheck and edit until the night before they're scheduled to post, but they're written ahead of time. This weekend was so full, and the start of this week has been more of the same, that I am all off schedule. Tuesday at 8:15p and I am starting from scratch. I didn't even remember to assign slave allan to come up with a question until like 4 in the morning today or last night. I hadn't slept yet, so it must still have been last night. So don't bother looking for typos, if there are any they'll be mine. If you correct me on my blog I'll poke you with a stick, and not in a way you'd like. 

I need another vacation stat

On to the question. 

slave allan: I have become friends with one of the male dom
members of our local community group on FetLife. He has since invited me to stop by and  visit. I should mention this is not a play visit. If you were to give your slave permission to go, how should I conduct myself? Should I be casual as if I am talking with an old friend? Or do I remain submissive, using proper titles and sub etiquette?

I would like you to pm me the person's Fetlife handle slave. I have every intention of giving you permission to meet with him, but I would like an opportunity to see who my slave is interacting with in the scene. I'll be curious to hear if your opinions of him post meeting match whatever opinions I may form checking out his profile. 

It is my opinion that you should exhibit the best manners that are appropriate for your vanilla community when meeting people in the scene if you do not have a dynamic or contractual obligation to do otherwise. You should address him by any name he invites you to use, as he should address you. If this were a meeting at a community event it may be appropriate to introduce yourself as Mistress Cassidy's slave allan. If it were a community event where this person was conducting a class, performing or the host, it would likely be appropriate to call him Mr. So & So. But a casual meeting in a person's home or at a munch simply requires that one use standard manners. Introduce yourself as allan. If he asks that you call him by a title, do so because you are in his home but know when you leave his home that you are welcome and encouraged to roll your eyes about it. Unless it is the cultural norm in your location to call people a title, it is not appropriate of a top to ask a submissive that is not theirs to call them a title in my not so humble opinion. Here in Massachusetts the norm in and out of the scene would be using first names. Many people are actually insulted if you call them ma'am or sir. It is assumed to be sarcastic. In some parts of the south, and near military bases, sir and ma'am are appropriate in vanilla settings, and therefor appropriate in scene settings too. If it is the norm when visiting a friend to bring a hostess gift, to shake hands, to air kiss, whatever- you should do those things in a scene setting too; but there is no need to do more simply because it is a get together of a couple of people who enjoy kink.  

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