Are you doing something... sexual right now?

I'm not being provocative, it is quote from my favorite scene in one of my favorite movies.

Secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal 

The movie is Secretary, with (deep sigh) Maggie Gyllenhaal. Isn't she divine? Sorry, Mistress was distracted for a moment there. If you haven't seen the movie, you should- it's smart, sexy and yes at times the story line is a bit problematic but it is light years more entertaining than 32 hues of blue or whatever that  'bdsm' movie is called. Let me share the scene for those that haven't seen it. Maggie's character, Lee Halloway,  has just runaway from trying on her would-be mother-in-law's wedding dress for her upcoming nuptials with the definitely not-kinky, lamb-like Peter. She ran back to her boss/dom, played by James Spader, who is having something of an OCD/mental health crisis himself (it is his character that causes me to use the term problematic over and over again during the movie but that's a review for another day). Spader's character, E. Edward Grey, orders Lee to sit at this desk, with her elbows on the table until he returns. Then the ass goes off to work out, but that's not where I was going. Lee is sitting at this desk, for days,  and the fiance` she just bailed on comes in, rips her away from the desk and asks (accuses) her, "Are you doing something.... sexual right now?" She looks up and says, "Does this look sexual to you?".
Sometimes muggles don't get what I do. Sometimes would-be clients don't get what I do. The most common misconception is that professional domination is perhaps a code word for escort, which of course most people think of as a more polite term for prostitution.
Am I sex worker? Sometimes I help my subs ease their private parts into a metal cage, with or without internal spikes, and slap a padlock on it. Does that sound like something sexual to you?
Until recently I my favorite over-used statement was, I do not engage in anything as pedestrian as sucking and fucking with my submisives. I still don't, I am just trying harder not to judge other people's kinks- if vanilla sucking and fucking do something special for you, who am I to knock it.
Is BDSM just about sex with a kinky twist? I am engaged in several personal BDSM based relationships. I do not wish to be crude but for the sake of clarity I will say it plainly, only one includes sex. Yet they all include an intense level of intimacy. Intense, what do I mean when I say intense? I have what is largely a long distance, service oriented arrangement with a very dear friend of mine. He was actually the person who suggested this subject matter for an entry. I have known him for over a decade. Our friendship spanned a period of life changing personal experiences for each of us, a time when our families grew and a time when we each experienced painful losses. He is having surgery in a few weeks. It is my intention to take a week or maybe 2 off during the busiest season of my job. I am going to travel 600 miles to hold him. I will assist with caring for his family. I will feed him soup, home made.  And will spank, burn, flog or whatever activity he feels will best support & assist his healing whenever he wishes. I will tell him repeatedly that he is my good boy and that I am so proud of him. Does that sound like something sexual to you?
A BDSM session is of course an adult experience. It is often an exploration of fantasies that are sexual nature, but it is more than that. It is an exploration of one's identity, a time to expand or affirm one's boundaries, and  a safe space for exposing one's soul.