Self-Care Sunday

Of the authentic variety, not the bubble bath version. Authentic self-care is a concept I have been working on embracing for the past year or so. Build a life you do not wish or need to escape. The bubble bath variety has merit, but selfcare via bath bombs and pedicures is at best a bandaid or a pacifier. As someone with many little vanilla responsibilities I value bandaids and pacifiers greatly. But also, one should learn to avoid things that cut them and one should plan for how they meet their needs so as not to frequently require a distraction from the discomfort of an unmet one.

It is a grey, wet, slightly chilly Sunday. I loved every word in that sentence. Mondays are my favorite, you know that already, but Sundays are pretty cool too. Fridays and Saturdays are more challenging to enjoy. Enjoying the end of a week for me is tied tightly to whether I feel like the week went in the direction I wished it to go, the direction I worked for it to go. Sunday anything is possible, there is just a little pressure to plan with foresight. Anything is possible, so let's choose the best of the possibilities.
I pen my schedule on Sundays, I do this after I consider my goals for the week. This week's goals includes re-committing to writing here. There is a second post scheduled for Wednesday. We'll see how that works. Slave alan and I have been playing the ball is in your court now with a couple ideas that we can't seem to find a moment to fully flesh out. They're cool ideas though, hold your breath and watch for them. I think they'll come together soon.

I continue to love broadcasting with Streamates: Follow Me Here I very much want to bend my schedule until I can fit 20 hours of live broadcasts a week, best I can do so far is nine. I will be camming Sunday, Wednesday and Friday evenings from 10pm til 1am EST. I may get there earlier some days. There may be bonus broadcasts some days. Follow my platforms below so you don't miss those. Sun, Wed and Fri are set in stone until further notice.

Private sessions, online and in person, are available on Monday, and  Tuesday this week. That schedule is not set in stone, that only applies this week. Wednesday day is all about the new project Jeunesse . Do you see that picture? Forty-six and 11/12ths. Yep, mostly that is the DNA fairy dealing me a very nice hand, and my avoidance of vices stronger than insomnia, caffeine and nicotine. I see a glow and sparkle that wasn't there two months ago though. I tap on Instantly Ageless, and I watch my laugh lines erase themselves. I haven't lied about my age since I was 15, and I have no intention of ever doing so again. I am all about owning my experience and my endurance, but I am also all about doing so while looking hotter than the sun and feeling healthier than I have in a decade or more.  I picked up an extra box of this tube of immortality to share, ask nicely and perhaps I'll hook you up. Thursday I will be completely unavailable to you unless you carry my DNA. About two months ago I declared that there would be a mandatory vanilla day every week. I kept with this plan for about 3 weeks. Then work picked up, I was submerged in I love my job energy and next thing I knew 3 weeks had gone by. This week, Thursday will be mandatory vanilla day.

There is one more thing. Do I announce it now or wait until it is fully fleshed out? Hmm, have you ever known me to wait until I thing is finished to announce it? Have you ever known me to exhibit self-control and patience? Ready? Ask nicely...Princess Gemini and I will be collaborating together again! We have a couple things on the drawing board. There is the vanilla thing you've seen me leak teasers about if you know me in the vanilla world. That launches this week, I mean it this time. I have said it here now, it must be true. The other projects are not as far along. They're not nearly as far along as Gemmi who's all, Cassidy I am growing a whole human being, my plate is full. And I'm all, here's your unicycle.

Virtual Spaces

Camming: Streamates

Immortality: Jeunesse  

email: cassidycream15@gmail.com

Fetlife: MistressCassidy

Twitter: Cassidy Cream

Insta: CassidyCreamV2

Snap: cassidycream

KIK: Mistresscassidycream

Amazon: wishlist

Promotional Friday: Royalty in the House

It has been another incredibly busy week in Mistress's universe. I made the trip to Virginia Beach as planned. I'm actually still hanging out in this lovely, quiet hotel. I'll be signing in on chaturbate shortly, getting a good night's sleep on this very plush bed and heading home in the morning. I'm writing this on Thursday, but it's Friday's post, this week's promotional post.

Who is this week's feature?

Well this was part of a post I shared on Fetlife a couple weeks ago, My profile lists Princess Gemini as my sister. It is the best description of our relationship. I love her profoundly. I am so grateful for the things I learned while working for and with her last year. But just like my biological sister, the best paths for each of us brought us to different places. Just like my biological sister, I would drop everything if she whispered she needed something from me. But again, just like my bio sister, she is a strong, amazing, capable woman who is unlikely to need more from me than an ear and occasional words of encouragement. The rest of that post can be seen HERE

I check my Facebook memories every night at midnight. OCD, remember? I knew it was coming up soon, but I did not know it was actually going to be today. A year ago today I became Princess Gemini's Facebook friend. A little more than a year ago, I responded to an ad on Fetlife seeking a professional domme to run the dungeon at kink and swinger parties. I didn't know Gemini yet, and I had never attended one of her parties. Ever meet someone who you know that you know already? I have that experience often. With Gemini I actually experienced that before meeting her. I knew we knew each other when I read her ad. About a year ago I began working with Princess Gemini Entertainment, about 6 months ago I stopped. I have heard so many rumors about what happened. I could write the sexiest, most outrageous piece of fiction if I put them all together. I might.  

I loved working with Gemini. I love Gemini. She's been the first person in my life in a really long time who comes up with more outrageous ideas than I do. Like myself, she rarely needs any encouragement to act on them, and she will not hear any discouragement once an outrageous idea has occurred to her. Absolutely fearless. I love that. Want to go skinny dipping? Want to see what's behind the door that says Do Not Enter, Staff Only? Want to see what's on the roof? It's creepy in here, turn on your flashlight. Those are the ones I can share here. Eventually there may be a Fetlife version of this that includes the more risque ideas. Working with Gemini was like attending a sleepover party with your best friends, at Disney Land, with a guest list that included Ron Jeremy, Mr Rogers and Einstein. Yes there was some sex, probably more than you're having and less than you are imagining. Again, maybe another version of this will appear on Fet.  There was far more, let me introduce you to the person who is an expert at that thing you said you were looking for, no finder's fee required. There was follow-up when someone was out of sorts. There were planning meetings, those were my favorite. Everyone on Team Gemini, claiming floor or bed space in Gemini's bedroom just tossing out whatever crazy idea popped into their head for our next party. I would claim a corner of the bed, with my box of pens (when one's lists are color coded, one needs a whole box of pens), calendar, phone and typically 2 notebooks for notes. My To Do List book to put specific tasks into and the idea book, shiny purple for Princess Gemini, for the short hand notes of the crazy ideas that I did my best to turn into reality. 

Why did we part ways? I have heard at least a half a dozen rumors, there are twice as many reality based reasons. They're not nearly as sexy as the rumors. There are only 24 hours in a day, I have tried to have this altered, no one has gotten back to me yet. The truth is simply, what was next and best for me, was in a different direction than what was next and best for Gemini. 

The next and best for me included coming home. The next and best for our Princess includes Las Vegas: 

Help her get there by attending her events and checking out her projects. Oh that will be so hard, going to super cool parties, meeting great people and um...watching adult entertainment.  

Princess, I love you. Thank you for having my back more times than I can count. I am so proud of where you have taken things in the past few months. You are an amazing, strong and fearless woman. I know that you will accomplish everything you have set out to do. I want a postcard from Vegas. I will buy the stamps, and tuck them into your phone case for you. 

What is Love, Baby Don't Hurt Me....

Oh that is a tacky title isn't it? While this sat on my dashboard waiting for a final edit, the placeholder title read :Insert Clever Title Here:. This had more edits than my average, about half were done while humming Tina Turner, What's Love Got to Do with It and the other, including this final was done while nodding my head to one side. If you're too young to catch the reference, perhaps you are too young to read my blog.  
I'm trying to write several entries for my blog and schedule them to post over the next week or so while I once again try to quit smoking. It's one of the things I find especially challenging to do nicotine free. With that in mind I tapped my friends and asked them to come up with themes to write about. My good friend and our psychic adviser, (yes, Princess Gemini Enterprises has staff spiritual/psychic adviser. ) suggested writing something about love within a BDSM dynamic. My first response was recognizing that it will probably be a really difficult subject for me to tackle at this time. Which is OK, Mistress sometimes enjoys when things are really difficult. Upon further consideration I decided that when your psychic adviser makes a suggestion you should probably listen to her.
I don't know that I am the best person to offer any insights on love. I love everyone. Sometimes I feel like people either don't take that statement seriously when I say it or that they judge the depth of my experiences of love and determine that I do not in fact know what love is if I can say with honesty that I love everyone. Whatever. What other people think of me is none of my business. I love you stranger reading my blog. I do not have to know you to know a woman allowed her body to be cut or split in half to birth you into existence. I do not need to know you to know that you possess an immortal soul, that just like mine is unique, perfect and flawed, vulnerable and resilient. I do not need to know you to know that while there is in fact no shortage of love in the universe, there have been moments when you craved love desperately and could not feel it, so let me give you a little of mine. I have plenty. I will not run out and I know no one has too much. What do I know about depth or love, I am a navel gazing, professional dominatrix, liberal snowflake.
Of course there are different manifestations of love. I would give you my last dollar. I would give you my last cigarette, yep even the one labeled, "Emergency-if quitting just sucks too much." Tell me that isn't love. I would not allow my body to be split in half for you internet stranger, but I have submitted to that for the souls that were entrusted to me. If love is arranged in a hierarchy, the love I feel for those souls sits miles higher than any other love I have experienced.  Let's be honest though, the profound love a parent feels for their child is largely one directional. Let's hope that those of us who are parents all strive to be parents worthy of our children's love, but it would be unhealthy if they felt for us how we feel for them. Further, that level of intensity is simply unsustainable if humans were wired to feel that for all other humans. While it is entirely a different experience of love, the love in a healthy BDSM dynamic in many ways, for me,  mimics those feelings. Perhaps the profound devotion is comparatively turned down, but then ideally it flows more or less equally in both directions. For me, whether it is within the confines of a single experience, a reoccurring arrangement or a committed ongoing relationship, feelings of love are always present. I screen my new submissives well, most of the time I do "click" with them, but I don't always. Sometimes, in person, the chemistry just isn't there. Regardless of how well we click, for the length of our time together I will feel protective, I will feel nurturing, I will strive to know you and to bring out your best self. It may not be the most intense manifestation of love, but it is still a feeling of love. Within an arrangement that is ongoing but perhaps informal, uncollared or otherwise a not committed dynamic, it is a similar feeling further enhanced by the familiarity one develops over time.
Which brings us to the last tiers of my love map. The love I feel for my committed, collared  submissives. I will give to my sub anything within my ability to give. I will continuously evaluate what I know to be best for them against what they want. I will challenge them to push themselves, to be their best self. I will do my best to guide them, to help them navigate their experiences and feelings. I will mentor them, and learn from them. I will as much as any one truly can, love them unconditionally.
And... I'm going to give you another peek into my personal life here. The love a dominatrix feels for the top she submits to. On another day I am going to write an entry about identities. I had yet another conversation about it this past weekend. I am going to write a voluminous entry on why I will correct you if you suggest that I am really a submissive, a switch or any term other than Dominatrix/Dominant/Top. For now I will explain it in the most simplest of terms. I am not a vegan, but I love carrots. I am not a submissive, I love my top. I have mentioned my vacation many times. I have mentioned how exhausted I was before I left. What I haven't mentioned, although it was probably implied, was how burnt out I was feeling. Months before when someone had asked me what I do, I had joked that I was a fantasy fulfillment dispenser. In the weeks and months that were to follow that joke started to feel true, and to not feel funny or silly or whatever feeling I had when I first uttered it. Perhaps the flow of love and energy between a top and bottom isn't quite more or less equal all of the time. Particularly with my submissive clients, but also to an extend in my personal relationships, sometimes I find myself saying subs are needy, demanding little creatures. I forget sometimes that we do not all have the same experience level. There are things I assume everyone knows, BDSM 101 if you will, but really there is no reason I should make such assumptions. Who serves whom in a BDSM dynamic? Who's in charge? When my feet are aching on a Sunday, after a weekend spent dancing in heels, when my phone rings and it is not a foot worshiping subbie but rather a subbie with a shoe fetish, what sort of session do you figure is going to unfold? Foot worship, shoe fetish, aren't they nearly the same thing? Can't I just demand this little bitch rub my feet like I need? No, not if one wishes to build a returning client base. As the top in my work and play, I am responsible for the scenes I engage in, I am in charge only in so far as I play within my own comfort zone and I do take absolute responsibility for my scenes. Sometimes the juxtaposition of the conflicting points of view is invigorating, sometimes it is just exhausting. Sometimes a top needs aftercare. Sometimes a top needs to say, here this is every thing I need, do you wish to be a fantasy fulfillment dispenser for me?  Our dynamic is still relatively new. It is a simple arrangement, that is completely free from vanilla entanglements. I feel known. I feel heard. I feel unconditional acceptance. I feel protected. That is the one that surprises me the most. It is a feeling I was unaware that I wished to experience in any significant manner. The practicalities of our situation dictates that feeling is largely only a feeling. I have a mandate to keep myself safe. I could swear I was doing a great job of keeping myself safe for the past 45 years and I didn't have any intention of not continuing to do so, but now that concept has taken on an entirely new dimension for me. I find myself contemplating it with nearly every decision of significance I make. For example, as I started to write this entry, and with each re-reading and subsequent hitting of the backspace button, I have asked, is this emotionally and professionally safe to share? Does it hurt or enhance my image? It wouldn't be terribly safe to tank my career. Particularly now when I am about to embark on some huge, I am so excited but still not quite ready to share, projects. Hold your breath you little mutes, and watch for the announcements. Are these feelings of mine reciprocated in a more or less equal flow? I have no idea. If I spent much time contemplating such questions I would have to consider if I too might be a needy little creature, and I do not have time for that much navel gazing. Quit smoking, make good choices, be safe; they echo sentiments I have heard before.

Ch-Ch-Changes

I do so wish I had delayed the last post a little longer, but I had no reason to think we were going to jump in this new direction today.
A while back I mentioned I was considering no longer sessioning with new-to-me clients. I could link to that entry here, maybe I will edit & add that later. It's late, I'm nearly out of smokes and planning on quitting tomorrow, not tonight.
It's been on my mind for some time. It's a huge risk. I love huge risks. But truthfully I would have stood on this cliff for a really long time, maybe forever. I debated this already in the entry I am not linking to now. I do enjoy seeing new clients. New-to-me and total noobs are equally cool once they're in my dungeon. The never ending advertising, screening, and the god damn dick pics I have to weed through from wankers & time wasters to get to the actual subs, that's the part I could do without. That's the part that sucks my time, annoys me, puts me off my lunch and really, enough already.

I'm not doing it anymore. 

Effective immediately. 

Did I really scare you there? Don't panic you silly little mutes. I stood on this high risk cliff for over a month because I was certain there must be a way that I can avoid all that noise & bullshit and still see new submissives. It presented itself tonight.
Princess Gemini Enterprises has been debating what to do with our Wednesday parties for some time now. I talked them up in the last entry, the one I wished I had delayed posting. Every word was absolutely true, still true even. Omitted was the part that Wednesday parties as they were are unsustainable. The decision to drop our price and do one price for all was made earlier. That alone was a brilliant idea. Maybe that alone would have changed things, but that wouldn't have lead to me making the announcement I made above. Without being a part of the behind the scenes of a party, the way this ties together may not be readily apparent. Stay with me, you don't have to see the way it all ties together you can just trust me that it does.
We will now be hosting a $10 Wednesday party every week. The whole crew will not be necessarily be present every week. We will each choose which weeks we wish to be part of the party and we (or at least I) will do it based on what we have planned. At Wednesday parties I will no longer be engaging in performance scenes, I will be offering private, mini sessions. This will be the ONLY  route to a full, one on one session with me for the foreseeable future if we haven't sessioned together before. My tribute will be greatly reduced, as will the list of potential themes. Both to be determined shortly. You will contact me before Tuesday if you wish to be considered for a Wednesday session, we will have our time together and if I wish to see you again we will arrange a one on one at my dungeon. I will no longer need to do excessive screening as you are coming to a public venue. I will not require a deposit, as I will not be going out of my way to go to my dungeon for a sub who may get cold feet. I suppose as a woman on the internet, my inbox will remain a landing spot for unwanted, gross dick pics but now I can delete without opening! If I don't have an ad actively running and an email has an attachment, I will know you are just a random wanker & not a hopeful subbie sending a simple candid photo so I might know who I am sessioning with. You may enjoy the rest of the night at the party just like any other party, there will still be vendors, a DJ, and bar. Other crew members may opt to do performance scenes as they wish and Princess Gemini has several other great ideas that will be introduced over the next few weeks.

Availability: May 6th-11th

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Girls Girls Girls

A few months back I did a Q&A with slave allan that included a question about sessioning with women. At the time I replied, honestly, I had barely any experience sessioning with women. As a professional offering one on one sessions, I simply rarely had inquiries from women. Over the years I contemplated why that was many times. Is it that women do not frequent the places I advertise? Is it that my ads are not welcoming to women? Is it that women are simply not inclined to see a professional dominatrix? I suspect all of those play a part. It has always bothered me. It isn't about who I am most attracted to, if that were the driving force behind the sessions I agree to I would only see subs who have a mouth like David Bowie's or bear a striking resemblance Maggie Gyllenhaal. My dissatisfaction about not sessioning with women was that I know I offer an amazing experience, and I wished to share that with those of my gender too.

Hmm, these all look like female people to me. There are many things I love about working for Princess Gemini Enterprises. One of the things I love the most is that we are an adult company owned  by a woman. Now in fairness, Mista_Jay, Princess Gemini's husband & partner does an incredible amount of work to make our parties perfect too, but it is Gemini who is in the spotlight. It is Gemini who is out, loud and proud, with no apologies, owning that this is her party literally & figuratively. Another thing I love is that our core staff is three men, seven women. That ratio extends out to our contractors and even our vendors. We are a pro-woman, body positive, consent driven, adult business. I don't know how much time you've spent in the adult industry, but in the corners I've visited we are a rarity. 

At the risk of sounding a little new age woo-hoo-y, I believe our guests can feel that the energy of our parties and events is different. I believe the reason I average four scenes with women for every one with a man at our events is because of this different vibe we put off. I love that at every event I am tapped by woman after woman, sometimes shyly, sometimes boldly, asking if I can make some time to flog them. I love that after every event I have emails and texts from the women I have scened with offering feedback, asking question, and thanking me again for the experience I helped them have. Now that I have found the platform to speak to a female audience, women contact me for private sessions now too. Still not nearly at the rate men do, but it's a start. 

We have event coming up this Friday that I am so excited about...

It is for our crew and select female guests. I hope that it is screaming success and becomes a regular event. Our team is filled with women with big personalities, there is nothing snarky in that observation and I am not an exception to it. We have some really amazing projects just kicking off. We have each been keeping an incredibly hectic schedule, and we know it is not easing up anytime soon.  I have had some major upheavals & changes in my vanilla world recently. Our emotions are sometimes very close to the surface and sometimes they bubble right over too. I am not making any apologies for that, our emotional investment in Princess Gemini Enterprises is a testament to how much we believe in our vision. The Girls Night Sleepover should prove to be a chance to move past the minor but jarring bumps we have hit a few times and to kick off spring ready for the best party in New England to be better than ever and go further than before. 

Moments from Our Events

How busy has Mistress been? So busy that my poor blog is this neglected. I would tell you that I am rededicating myself to keeping it fresh and updated, but we all know I would be lying, right? I love keeping a journal, I love being able to revisit the highlights worth noting in ink, but I love living a life that's journal worthy far more. Sometimes that means there's just no time to jot it down. My biographer can sort through my Facebook posts and bills later to sort out what I was doing when someday. For now, this blog will continue to be a spot you may catch an update when I get to it.  

So what has kept Mistress so busy? All the things good and wonderful :) Have I mentioned that I am the lead dungeon Mistress for Princess Gemini Enterprises? If I hadn't, I have now. I virtually met Princess Gemini oh early in the fall I think. In October I responded to a message that she was looking to bring a greater BDSM atmosphere to her swinger parties. I attended her next party with my gear in tow, and the whirlwind began. 

Princess Gemini is just the sweetest, most down to earth, wildest woman you may ever have the good fortune to meet. She really embodies what it means to be a strong, sex-positive, body-positive, progressive, intelligent, and self-determined woman. Instantly I knew this was the woman I wanted to work along side. And I was beyond thrilled that she welcomed me to join her team. In just the few months that we have been working together her parties have grown quickly that we have outgrown one of our primary venues. 

I hope that some of my local lurkers decide to check out our parties soon. If you're too nervous to schedule a one on one session with me, this is the best way to get to meet me & get past your nerves. And to help you Mistress has decided to share a few of her favorite pictures from recent parties... 

Mistress Cassidy with Mister Pain's pet Miss_Sunshyne at the Glow Party.
I couldn't ask for a sweeter, more thoughtful metamour in my life.  

Mr Pain who does not care for the term switch & really isn't, submitting to a demo flogging with lovely but out of the frame Mistress Nightshade. 

Mistress Cassidy flogging our Princess at our Mardi Gras party

I don't know why, but I take the best selfies in the restroom. Mistress getting ready for a night of fun at Twizted Acres. 

The Glow after party, Mistress had an amazing night, with body after body submitting to her floggings. I think when most of us think of aftercare we think about what our subs need. Of course a Top's responsibility doesn't end until their sub has been properly cared for after a scene, but Tops need aftercare too. This is what it looks like for me. My adorable cuddly stylist Hazy and Gemini letting me melt into them so I can release all the energy I absorb from my scenes and recharge so that I can do it again!