So that you can pack appropriately, you should know that you are going to time travel with me. Hope you're quick, we're leaving right now. See Write a blog post is on tomorrow's To Do List. The list is nearly finished. I want to add a couple stickers to jazz it up and then it will be Ta Done, and I will be ready to navigate a Wednesday. Tomorrow I'll take a contrasting color, probably gold, I'm using a black journal currently, and start checking things off. Except maybe we're checking Write a blog post off a day early. I opt to keep a couple bags always packed, one never knows when you can squeeze in an extra workout or meet a two-headed alien at a costume party. I find I just have a better time when I feel prepared for anything.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with a life coach. I sort of love this. It is very much in-line with my manifested, bliss-following, fantasy life I live. Also, I am more than just a little scared. Can I be completely honest, my terror is growing exponentially. 

What a silly thing to be afraid of, right? Wand flick, ridiculous. What a silly, privileged, bougie thing to cause me fear, expecto patronus. 

When I say I love to be watched, to overshare, to go ahead and just get naked right here, it really should be understood that I only mean in spaces where it is safe to do so. I only mean with people who are going to meet me with kindness or perhaps respectful curiosity. While I have never met with a life coach, I am pretty certain she is going to ask me what I do for a living. Bet she'll ask me about my relationships too. Well no, I bet she'll ask if I have A Relationship, singular and with a capitol R. Then I'll get to decide, on the spot, is this person safe to say that I work in the adult industry? I'll get to calculate how apt it is that I'll find acceptance or at least graceful neutrality, if I disclose that I have several intimate partners. And if I miscalculate, are my damage control skills up-to-snuff these days? Not really living close to the bone anymore, after all I'm in a place on my journey where I can access a life coach.  

How little can I share, but still access the benefits of seeing a Life Coach?

What does guarded authenticity look like?

This isn't my first rodeo. Typically, these moments work themselves out really well. It makes a lasting impression when a jaw drop is the first piece of info you share about yourself. More often than not, a positive lasting impression.  But sometimes it doesn't go well.  Several years ago, I made my new neighbor cry when I told her I was a dominatrix. Nothing I could say would reassure her that I wasn't a victim of the patriarchy or of trafficking. It was nearly impossible to quiet my imagination that was continuously reminding me the many ways she might try to save me and my family. 

This will not go like that. Tomorrow I am going to giggle about how unjustified my worry was today.