Lightning-fast entry, maybe we'll edit and add pictures later. The goal is weekly posts. I built in some wiggle room, because I know myself. A week is either 7 days from the last one or ends on Friday, whichever let's me say honestly, I met that expectation I set.
It's 6:24 AfuckingM. After the gym, there's a vanilla commitment, then pack and then the studio. This is the window I have for getting this done. There were a dozen other open windows all week long, but ya know sometimes the highest one, the narrowest one, the one that's about to close; that's the one that looks the most interesting.
I'm not going to beat up my top's property because I had a hard time managing my time and my feels this week. What a waste of time to revisit that.
Do you like that phrasing? I mean I could have said, I am not going to berate myself for having a challenging week. Negative self-talk is really damaging, and water is wet. I know these things, everyone knows these things, don't they? But all the same, Cass would absolutely tell herself she's really falling short to not meet this simple goal that I set for myself. Oh, and I'd use my most aggressive, most unkind vocabulary. But my top expects me to take exceptional care of his property, so I don't talk to myself that way.
It's funny how the stories we tell ourselves create our reality. ILike, don't go to the gym, masochists go to the gym. I smoke, I can't quit. I love sleeping in. There were also ideas like, I could never afford to touch up my hair every 4 weeks or manicures every two. The math is right there, I could do my hair every 2 weeks, and my nails every week on my cigarette budget if I wished, and tip generously. But I could only hear the story I was telling myself.
Anyway- naval gazing is over, I gotta get ready to see my second favorite sadist.
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