The Wheel

 It's almost my birthday <insert prezzies here> 

That's forty-eight years and three hundred, sixty-three days; unfiltered. 

I was at this event awhile back. They had a sign posted with their protocols, where to find the condoms, keep quiet if you're watching other's engage; you know standard party rules. But an item on the list was, "don't catch feels". I'm sure they intended it to be clever. But clearly it wasn't my scene. I'm here, on this planet, for nothing but the feels. There isn't anything else, I've looked. 

She told me, that she told him, that I loved him. Said it like she thought I was going to hurt her. To be fair, I was perched for bouncing a face off pavement. I had no idea what she was confessing. But did she think that was a secret? Never have I ever been accused of being hard to read. 

Nor would I wish to be. Someone was telling me about the worst sexual experience they had ever had. IDK, I have that vibe I guess. Anyway. The story was that someone tongue flicked their thigh for 5 minutes, super into it & unaware that it was a thigh they were flicking, then rolled over, jacked off and fell asleep. Did you tap them on the shoulder? Say ahem? Hit them with your riding crop? You didn't? You were there, right? 

I was at the mugglemarket yesterday. This (if I weren't committed) hardcore DILF was surfing a carriage. You know what I mean, holding himself up on the handle so his feet were off the ground, skating the carriage (buggy for my southern friends). I rolled up beside him, windows down and double dog dared him to take it across the whole lot. 

That's what middle age GenX'ers are going to be doing. 

Following our bliss, and living our best lives. 

For real, you should do the same. Like right now, there isn't anything else.