Really It's a Pretty Wholesome Lifestyle

We're in my kitchen, there's a purple tablecloth on my table. It's not paisley, but it will make you think of Prince. Tupac is trying so hard to convince us he's a simple man, fuck the fame. Do simple men leave this mortal coil in a blaze of bullets, in Vegas? It's your story Mr Shakur, spin it anyway you wish. 

Yesterday Ms. Dahlia and I were being silly on the phone. Being silly on the phone with Dahlia is a line item on my resume. Anyway, I said, I feel like I have had a very conservative sex life. Then I said, many times, stop laughing. Right now, stop it. 

YouTube drift just gave me Powerman 5000, are you ready?  

My breakfast included Brussel sprouts and miso soup. I made it myself, like a boss. Sadly, today, I served myself, like a muggle. I feel like consuming Brussel sprouts before 9am is the epitome of wholesome. 

My top was the first man ever in the history of all time to ever... hmm. I'm going to finish that sentence when I copy this to Fetlife. I was 45. The missing words? They're really not that shocking, I think it's far more shocking that I was 45 the first time I experienced it. Listen, Mr Shakur might be a freak and let you get up on top of him. Bitches on top? We be wild up in here. 

Oh, well yes, that thing my top did? I have caused probably several thousands of men to do the same. Yes, to their own  {Fetlife edit}

Dahlia and I lived out one of our Sister Wives fantasies at Canobie Lake Park recently. Um, that is the fantasy. Put your junk away, no one's getting naked.  Sister Wives= women in a platonic relationship, who's immortality investments are raised, provided for and protected by a fierce collection of adults, mostly women.  Fantasizing about a conservative religious based practice seems pretty wholesome to me. I mean, as long we keep our clothes on. 

Oh right, I was also in trouble that day. I sent Master John more filtered pictures, He h8s them. We have very different top styles. I suspect astute lifestyle readers know exactly what's written in between the lines. Anyway, I sent filtered pictures the day before I was spending the day deep in vanilla, with a high probability of muggle interactions. And he tossed me right in the briar patch, who knew that would happen? I may share the deets on Fet. I don't know, as much as I did totes ask for it, it was a rather intense punishment. 

Sea moss, acai berry, water kefir smoothies. 

My poodle's name is Fiona, we call her FiFi sometimes.

Before bed FiFi and I chill out by watching videos of bento box ideas and charcuterie board building.

Today fairies from the Amazon are bringing me toothpicks with little ceramic animals, like sea turtles. 

There's both sprouts and micro-greens growing in my kitchen. 

June Cleaver, Donna Reed and Martha Stewart combined aren't as wholesome as me. 

And also

I met a client after an event. I was wearing an ethereal floaty sheer black ensemble with my spiked, cbt stems. I wore them at Canobie too. The woman behind me coming out of the Turkish Twist tapped me on the shoulder to declare, you're shoes are terrifying. I said please be careful, it's possible there's a little blood on them. Neither of us were fibbing. My client met me at an uppity mugglemarket, where I had him {fetlife edit} in the parking lot before he lived out his fantasy of taking a Goddess shopping while {more of the same}. 

Really, I live a wholesome, simple life.