I Love Living in the Future

This is another of those entries that have been on the idea board for some time. I have decided it will be in two parts. The second will share my thoughts on how to have a successful long distant dynamic.  The title came to me like 2 months ago. I was in my bed early after a very busy day, but I still had to tend my nutritional needs. I placed my second order ever with Uber Eats, and realized I didn't even have to get up to grab my purse because my card info was stored in my phone. Spontaneously, and with absolute sincerity, the title burst from my mouth. It may have included an F-bomb. That's it Cassidy, skip turning into your mother and go directly to channeling your grandmother. Gather the TNG'ers around and teach them of the hardships of life back in the stone age. When a lazy dinner meant having to call the pizza place on the telephone, that may have been wired to a wall in a room other than your bedroom, and how you had to have paper money in your wallet when the driver arrived.

Then tell them about your first long distance relationships. When to keep in touch meant paying $99 a month, in addition to your base rate, for 1 hour of talk time. If I recall correctly it was $1.00 per minute after the first 60. Or one could put pen to paper, proclaim their devotion and share the minutia of their day in words. For a mere 25 cents the postal service would take up to an ounce of your words to your beloved anywhere, rain or shine. Of course it would be a week later that your beloved would hear your words. I did love writing to my long distance partners and I still do. Thoughts shared on paper will always hold a special place for me, I love words. My long distance partners of long ago, were often a bit quieter on paper. In my first long distance relationships, mismatched budgets, schedules and inclination to express one's self on paper sometimes left me questioning if my partner so far away thought of me as often as I thought of them.

Yet the people I shared those relationships with are, in varying capacities, still in my life today. It seems to me now that a person who would invest even a couple words via a call or card, when there is little to no irl time, valued any and all time spent together. 

All of the words above have been written a half a dozen times. This is the spot where I realize the post is going to go all Dear Diary if I continue to revisit thoughts of people on Memory Lane, and that is not where I am intending to go today.

Today I intend to talk about now. I intend to talk about the amazing, complex, long distance dynamics I have now, and how they are enhanced by the distance that separates us. 

Let's start with recognizing the word that is pluralized. Dynamics. I suppose this may have been an option for some people 20+ years ago. Incredibly progressive, bold people, who were able to find other like minded partners without the help of the internet. While I have always been quite bold and progressive, finding like minded partners was not a thing I was able to do as a young adult. I once tried diligently to explain to my Texas boyfriend that it was perfectly reasonable I should also have a Massachusetts boyfriend. Both my Texas and Massachusetts best friends agreed with Texas boyfriend that I was completely unreasonable. Today my top understands my needs, and encourages anything that is best for me. My muse and partner supports my other dynamics. She brings my pet to scene  and vanilla events so my sub knows she is not forgotten in my absence. My partner's primary partner teases me, in ways I love, with video chats during their play time. Not only would I literally not know these people I love if not for meeting them through virtual channels first, none of us would have the support to explore these alternative paths if not for having digital communities to share with and learn from. 

Of course I would like to spend more time in person with these people I love, but I recognize there would be many trade-offs. From a distance, my pet appreciates the minutes I carve from my day to share with her. How neglected would she feel if I were down the street but still only had minutes in a day for her? Those minutes are just as scarce in my life no matter where I am. My partner is a dominant, take-charge woman. From a distance, when we share ideas for managing our vanilla responsibilities and our professional lives, it is helpful. If we were sharing a home, she may not understand that there is actually only one way to fold a towel correctly. My top has a schedule as full and as variable as my own. I have no desire to neglect or feel neglected. At this time, these relationships occupy precisely the right amount of space. The time I spend virtually and in person with each is special, valued, and magical.