Mercury

Did you know I was born during a Mercury retrograde? I was, on the day after Thanksgiving 1972. My top was too. It's not really as odd as I may have implied. Mercury retrogrades 3 times a year on average, every year. Check your chart, maybe you were too. 

I have this informal theory though that there's something a little magnetic about those of us born while the messenger of the Gods is spinning backwards. You're intrigued, you don't quite understand us, but you want to try. You wish you could be like us. Then again maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just weird.  

At the beginning of June, I said I was going to write three posts this month. We have 11 hours, and 55 minutes for me to keep my word. It's cool, I love a deadline and I can name this tune in just one note Chuck. 

There was one entry posted when I decided 3 was the magic number for June, and I already had the other two outlined. One explores prioritizing pleasure, and the other about how to arrange to collab with me. They're outlined on paper, fully realized in my thoughts, translating them into keys tapped- convenance of precisely what I mean into a form I can share with you, well, that's not really put together yet. Each is important to me, and I really wish to do them well. 

When I sat down to write the last entry I just couldn't find either thread. That happens, and it's okay. My thoughts were all tangled up with the nonsense from the stalker I playfully refer to as the President of the Cassidy Cream fan club, and with the recognition that the anniversary of my mother's passing is quickly approaching. I couldn't quiet my thoughts from wondering what impact my relationship with my mother has had on the type of women I am attracted to and so instead I wrote the post before this, a quick exploration of my thoughts on humiliation. And yes, it was 100% inspired by the actions of the aforementioned stalker. 

Thanks, I guess.

Now to be honest, I wasn't going to tackle either of the planned subjects again today. It's June 30th, I really meant it when I promised myself there would be 3 entries this month, but I was up late last night. Nicholas (of Your Kinky Friends and YKF's Cinema Show) asked if I could come on the show when another creator had to reschedule with little notice. I asked him off air if he had asked anyone else, he said I was the first person he thought of. That humbles and flatters me, that is exactly where I aimed to be as a member of our community. I wished to be the person other kink professionals think of when they think, I need someone I can trust to show up. And here I am, my reality reflecting precisely how I imagined my life should look. Anyway, so I was up late last night, and I also have a rather important task in my vanilla life to tackle today too. Tomorrow marks 33 years since I brought whole human earthside, after creating her in my body. Can you imagine? That's a thing I can do, and I've done quite a few times. Yes, I know, it's been done 8 billion other times. Perhaps you somehow think that makes it less special, I assure you, much like a rose by any other name, call me what ya like, I make humans. Ergo, I am a Goddess. And tomorrow we celebrate one of my junior Goddesses. Wish Claudia a happy thirty-third should you see her.

And so I was again going to push back those two entries, pin them for July, and instead I was going to whip up an easy A. A quick recap of June, promo the show last night with Nicholas, bemoan that I didn't travel anywhere but tease that there may be a visit with my NYC love. Share that my July schedule is still rather fluid because house hunting sucks so hard, that I am committed to host on 231Mutual but I forget what dates, and wrap it up with a quick reminder to go pop off to my OF so you can, you know, pop off with me.  

Imagine my surprise when I got here, checked the stats on my last post, thought oh my goodness someone listened last night on YFK when Nicholas and I said, for real be brave, leave comments for writers. Two comments, oh my, you like me, you really like me (Sally Field, Google Sally Field's acceptance speech if you don't know the reference, I love that my audience skews young and sincerely I hope I don't make you feel less than with my Gen X references) But let's all lol loudly, because of course the commenter does, she's the president of my fan club.  

I know, who cares what psychiatrists write on walls (12 Monkeys, you'll love it). Ignore her and she'll go away, that's what I'd tell Claudia. It's solid advice. Let them, that's what my top said, also great advice and a good book so far. But also, will she? Will she go away? When? Why should I be the bigger person? I was minding my business. Never have I ever reached out to her, and yet here I am again with my day half undone because of some noise left by some insignificunt (Boondock Saints). 

This post isn't what I intended, or even my back-up plan. But it is the third post in June, and that's all I promised myself I'd do. There are some good movie recommendations sprinkled through it, let me know what you think if you watch them. Stayed tuned, there will be three more in July. Maybe two will be the ones I've been trying to finish for so long or maybe it'll a slideshow from my next adventure. I promise it won't be boring, and you'll never, ever forget me.