It's come to my attention that another Cassidy Cream Fan Club has formed. This one is also headed by a former lover, and my once Ride or Die. Not the same duo as the original, although the blood alcohol level and the delusions are causing me a little deja vu. I'm uncertain if this a franchise or a new, independent organization. The primary activities of Cassidy Cream's Number 1 Fans seems to be getting black-out drunk, haunting my socials and posting incoherent comments. The comments jerk erratically from what my recently deceased mother thought of my lifestyle, to openly fantasizing about who and how I fuck.
There was more. It was well written. He said so, and you know that's the only high I've ever enjoyed chasing. But I'm simply not inclined to accept your invitation. Pity parties and regret are not my kink. My deepest regrets, I must starve it and let it die.
Next.
Aqua Fit, I'm on my way to Aqua Fit in a moment. I found myself with a 4+ hours open today that I could do anything at all during. Anything. How blessed am I to have the resources and the time to do whatever I wish for an afternoon. I literally bounced in my seat when I saw my open block of time overlapped the aqua fit class at my gym.
Who am I, and how did I get here?
If we were to time travel, dial in October of 2017, you'd find a pretty content Cassidy right here in this very spot actually. Even then I was in love with my life and grateful for the many ways it had worked out just as I hoped. There were, if I am honest, a handful of things I wished were different, but not many. And I was certain those handful of things were bearable. They were, I was positive, unchangeable. Like smoking, I had been a 2 pack a day smoker since 13, there was nothing I could do to change that, right? I would have said I was happy with my body, and I was. I guess. My arms were starting to grow into wings, that's inevitable with age though, right? I missed dancing, stripping. I missed the time when I earned an income living out my favorite fantasies. How could I complain about that though? Being a Domme is also work I feel so passionate about. It is unquestionably my calling.
I remember pausing before I replied, acknowledging to myself that I understood and accepted the consequences for the action I was about to take. Of course, I thought the consequences were going to be more along the lines of my standard variety. It had been decades, how was I supposed to know that he hadn't grown-up to become a felon? Ya know I have a type.
In what would come to be the last decade of her life, my mother and I had falling out. An ugly, complicated, regrettable falling out. We were very close before it, but after our conversations were typically tense and argumentative. Unless we were talking about my top. The smile I had every time I heard the subliminal I told you so when she asked about him was absolutely maddening.
At every fork in the road I have chosen the path that takes me further from conventionality, intentionally and unapologetically. I am certain some of my choices were far from my mother's comfort zone, and that I was probably the cause of many sleepless nights. I am equally certain that committing to a man who sees my best and compels me to do better, wasn't the cause of any of them.
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