🎝I didn't know you had any feelings...
The other day I paused on a meme that read, "Do not give up on something you think about every day." Is that really good advice? Last night I was smoking again in my dreams, I quit in August of 2019. Did I make a mistake when I finally left behind the prop I held for over 30 years? On the mornings after a cigarette dream, I channel Tony Soprano and shake down my subconscious. What fucking message are you (am I) trying to bring to my attention? Then I feel bad when it cries and whimpers from the corner, that it just thought I'd like a little treat.
It's no longer a thing I think about daily, but there they are still waiting and hoping to catch my attention.
I let myself shut off my alarm this morning. Now that you/I've mentioned it, a little treat does sound like a great idea. Just how about one that doesn't rot my lungs? Just a little more sleepies will be so sweet. I'm self-employed as you know, I can do that whenever I wish. I can always do whatever I wish. Well maybe not if I wish to be successfully self-employed, but today, the Monday before Valentine's Day, it will be okay.
When I did wake up, in a black velour crop top tank and black panties, I did that cross body stretch and reach for the box of dopamine on the bedside table. No longer Parliament Light 100s, now it's a Galaxy S24 Ultra. Funny I only just now noticed how much it would feel like grabbing a pack if I had to ask for it by name twice a day. But I digress. You've stretched like that before, haven't you? Isn't it the most luxurious feeling ever? I love that moment, pausing for just a beat, remembering and acknowledging, that I am waking up to a life I really like.
I created a life I really like, and I got to wake up in it again.
I must remember to reframe it all. The stretch, the fresh linens, my delicious pajamas, those are the source of that moment, not either box.
Perhaps I should pull the poetry from this and just let go of the box. It betrayed me today, denied me my bump of oxytocin and spiked my cortisol again. It's all good, I have prescription grade oxytocin in my fridge, and I've already hit it. I feel fine, once again in love with me, and everything in my domain.
I could cut to a Rick Roll right here.
Wouldn't it be clever?
Is there way to preserve my sanity and Zen and still write deeply and meaningfully?
Titling this with a Megadeth lyric would be over the top, right? Would my audience, with our ever-increasing age gap, even catch the ref if I said, "What do you mean I don't support your system? I go to court when I have to..."?
Let's just pin it here. Why not. You'd let me, wouldn't you? Leave you here, waiting and longing.
I'll be back, probably.
February Availability Events and Travel
- Feb 20th and 21st Live on OnlyFans, time to be announced soon *Surprise Co-Host very likely!!!*
- Feb 20th 9p 231Mutuals members only event with Mistress Danielle
- Feb 26th 9p: 231Mutuals members-only event, theme TBD
- Feb 16th-27th: Session availability (very limited) contact asap if you hope to submit or serve Me in February. It is unlikely that I will have any availability in Mass/New England in March.
- Visits to NYC and Toronto (March) are being finalized. Unlikely any availability in NY, but double Domme Diva sessions with Ms. Danielle Diamond will be available.
- And there's just one more little spark of an idea I'm so torn...should I share it now or wait until even 1 detail is on the drawing board? It's really cool, you'd be excited if I told you now. It'll likely happen in the fall, mighty long time to edge. Ya, it wouldn't be fair to tell you yet. I'll just say when I ran it by my top, he said, "That could be fun.".
