Mistress Cassidy is a Professional...

She can do things you can't do.
Were you a fan of or did you create fans of Curious George? I loved that disclaimer. George is a monkey, he can do things you can't do. I personally heard it as a challenge not a warning, but all the same, clever disclaimer.

Did I mention how right before the universe went all wonky, I got to see my top? Oh, did I really mention it 100 times already? Sorry, I am prone to repetition.

In the alley over by the curb he said tell me what's your name, she only said the words again and it started to rain.

There's such a big hint, but still I don't think any of my readers are astute enough to catch the reference. Prove me wrong, I double dog dare ya.

I want to share the story. Also, I want to hold the moment private. I wish there were pictures. Also, I'd never ever share them. I don't think I appeared all that sexy. Can't have that, well except when I can in these so terribly rare moments.

No one else was watching her, she didn't seem to care. So over and over she said the words until he could take no more. 

I edited the last post after I posted it. Only one person saw the original. My perception is biased, I wrote it, but I think the spot where the record skips is blatantly obvs.
I said a thing I question the ethics of saying out loud. Mistress Cassidy is a professional, she can do things you can't do.

The songs a year old, and it had been playing for months when he walked in the place...

I think it was in January when he sent the pictures. The message with it was short, to the point. I want to see you in something like this pet. He doesn't often make requests of me. He's busy. I am busy. He's pragmatic. I have a handful of very simple standing directives, we touch base when we can, and 99% of my universe spins with his influence touching all of it and his presence completely absent. I love the moments when he makes a small request of me.

There's a long story that would explain why, it doesn't matter. He asked me to do a thing, I intended to do a thing, but in the end I did not do the thing. I forget sometimes how it works on the other side of the flogger. Mistress Cassidy follows through on what she says she will do with oh 97.5% accuracy. On the rare occasion I do not, a sub can get right over it. I am busy. My plate is full. I am a top, it is my prerogative to not do a thing even if I said I would. My 97.5% accuracy is about my ocd nature, not about my obligations to you. You are fortunate to serve a top with such a compulsion. Inquire how else you may lighten my day on that rare occasion I do not do a thing I said I would do.
Mistress Cassidy did not do a thing, then she stepped off the porch of the magical little cottage in the woods to hug and greet her top, and she was spun around and reminded, rather intensely that in this space she is not Mistress Cassidy and not doing as one is told has consequences. 

 I'm going to share the story. You want to hear it, don't you? Either I am going to go live on OnlyFans, and share it bedtime story style, possibly with reenactments of some moments that would be better with a visual aid. Or I am going to share it in installments. Create some photos to serve as our visual aids, and tell it one paragraph at a time, which is all OnlyFans allows for word based erotica. Watch for it, I'm not committing to when it'll be done, only that it will be done.

A Reason, A Season

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Oh we miss you so much Mistress...

That is what you are thinking, right? All of December had only two posts. You thought for sure there would be a big end of the year recap and/or a New Year's day is the New Monday, let's start the year right post, didn't you?
There was going to be.
Then there wasn't.
My OCD has gotten over it, I suggest you do the same.
It is Monday. Oh I just looked at my calendar, it is the first Monday of the year! This is the real new year's day. Welcome to Cassidy-Utopia, where calendars and time bends to my will, like everything else.

How was my trip? It was amazing. It was productive. It was exhausting. So much to share, maybe even a few yummy pictures for good little voyeurs. We'll come back to that in another entry. It's Monday, the day for plans not reflections. 

Where will I be this week? What are my plans?

Oh right, I liked that I have no idea approach so much, I am going to go with it for a little longer. OK, that is a little spin, not a fib really but a bit less than complete disclosure. The whole story, Mistress is being made to wait on things.  Wait. Like a muggle. 

It is OK. It is a big, huge thing. A I am so excited about the possibilities I could spontaneously combust sort of thing. But it is not quite set-in-stone, not quite ready to share thing. I can be patient. Watch. 

In the meantime. I have time open on Thursday this week for in person sessions. I have time open Tuesday and Wednesday for private cam or call sessions. I am hoping this is the week I get back into the rhythm for writing, but that could be delayed if this other thing finalizes soon. High probability that I will be on Chaturbate tonight, my hair looks shiny and I am feeling playful. Or maybe I will withhold my playfulness and just play with my new playmates privately. What? Playmates? Plural? Told you there were yummy things Mistress would share in another entry. 

In any case, find and follow me in the following spaces: 

Where can you find Mistress Cassidy:

Where is Mistress Cassidy at this moment: Mistress is home in RVA.

Current travel plans: Virginia Beach 3rd week of January

Rhode Island February 15-18th Mistress will be attending the Fetish Flea

Massachusetts: TBD either 2/10-2/24 or 2/14-2/28

Fine-tuning of my next trip north will be announced as they happen, watch for them or miss seeing me again.

Chaturbate: CB LINK

Again, when I am not signed on it will bring you to Chaturbate's main page, not to my room. Watch Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter for my announcements that I am on, pop in and sign-up to follow me.

email: cassidycream15@gmail.com

Fetlife: MistressCassidy

Groups on Fetlife:

• https://fetlife.com/groups/175329
• https://fetlife.com/groups/166037

Twitter: Cassidy Cream

Insta: Cassidy Cream

Snap: cassidycream

KIK: Mistresscassidycream

KIK Groups:

• Erotic Hypnosis with Mistress Cassidy Cream
• Financial Domination, Wishlists PayPigs
• RI Footlovers
• Pretty Feet of Massachusetts & RI

Airtightlifestyle.com: Mistress Cassidy

Blog:

https://mistresscassidycreamsmusings.blogspot.com/

Family and Community

Just over a month ago I was part of a conversation that included the statement, “My family will always come before the lifestyle.” It was a painful conversation. I tend to rapid fire, to have the quick comeback waiting to be hurled, and even more so when I am upset. I was able to partially temper my response. I was not able to stop myself from a request I continue to regret, but I was able to stop myself from making an untrue statement. I almost said of course your family comes first, water is wet, everyone's family comes before the lifestyle, my family comes before the lifestyle. But really that simply isn't true. I have mentioned that I have children here before, and of course they come before the lifestyle, my job, and my personal play. They come before anything and anyone on the planet. But taking them out of the equation because they have no place in it, the lifestyle is my everything else. The lifestyle is my art, my work, my downtime, my community and the regulars in my local scene, they are my family. 

A friend of mine, who agreed with and echoed my feelings, challenged me to explore that statement further. He gave me the standard, if over-used, if your actual sister and Mistress X both needed you, what would you do? I have an amazing relationship with my actual sister. I prayed for her to come into existence for the first 10 years of my life. We have never argued, we have never fought and I have never forgotten to be grateful for her existence. I have known Mistress X for less than a year, but she is my sister. My kitten, Hazey, calls her mommy. Around 2am on any given Sunday you will find Mistress X and I on the back porch of Twizted Acres discussing the progress our shared prodigy is making. We compare strategies for balancing our vanilla and scene lives. As experienced players in the scene, we have shared our thoughts on what our responsibilities are to new explorers, and what our accountability is to our community. While I never prayed to have Mistress X come into my life, I am blessed that she did. She is my sister. If my biological sister and Mistress X needed a thing from me at the same time, the only viable solution would be to assess which one's need was more urgent so I might resolve one and then give my attention to the other. Do I feel that way about everyone in my local scene? Of course not, but neither do I feel about all of my biological relations the way I do about my sister. Mistress X is my peer, my equal, please don't make me say what I would do if Hazey and my sister needed a thing from me at the same moment. 

I have witnessed some things in the past few months I feel compelled to speak on, yet I hesitate because protecting the privacy of others is very important to me. I do not wish to spread gossip, nor do I wish to fan flames that in many cases are finally beginning to die down. But the scene is my everything else, and I do feel I hold a responsibility to protect it and preserve it. So rather than share the stories, let me just share the takeaways. 

• BDSM is not all call me Master/Mistress and do as you're told. 
• BDSM 101: if there isn't consent, it is abuse. That statement applies equally to the way we talk to each other as it does to the way we touch each other. 
• We call this play, but we need to recognize that we are each real humans, with real feelings and we sometimes bring to our play real baggage that needs to be unpacked and that is work. 
• Subs can be manipulative and abusive too. Expecting things from your top that you have been told is not available is manipulative. Consenting to things that you do not wish to do, is abusive. 
• One should think long and hard before asking to be released. One should never asked to be released as a way of testing their top's devotion. 
• No matter the circumstance, if a top recognizes it is time to end a dynamic or has been asked to do so, the top is obligated to do so with kindness, grace and gratitude. No matter what. 
• When you recognize you have made a mistake, make amends, seek council in your peers if needed and ask for forgiveness from whomever you have wronged- no matter your station or your title. 
• Your interpersonal skills are more important than how well you swing a flogger or how many whacks of a rod you can withstand. 
• You should invest in, maintain and value your reputation more than your gear bag. 

If you claim to be anything in the scene other than a newbie setting out to explore, these concepts or similar should be part of your core ethics no matter what side of the flogger you enjoy.

If you are player in the scene, you are part of a family. My family, our family, even if you are that distant cousin that we only see at the big events. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to be all out, and not everyone wishes to be out. That's OK. The scene is our home, and those of us who are out, we hold your space when you aren't here.  If you play responsibly, and ethically, no matter your kink and no matter how infrequently you visit, I will have your back. If you lie, if you put others at risk I will call you out and you will be asked to leave no matter how frequently you visit, no matter what title you claim. This is our home, you will not disrespect it.  

What Makes a Good Submissive?

Have my mute readers missed me? I have said this before, I love keeping this blog. I also love having a life worthy of recording in ink (or virtual ink as it is). Someday I will find a balance, it is unlikely that will be this summer.

So many things have changed recently, and so many more changes are on the horizon. I love change. I love new experiences. I love adventure. But honestly Mistress is ready for some things to just settle down already.

It is 8:45 pm on a Thursday. Today I had two great sessions here at Safe Haven. The dungeon is cleaned and ready for tomorrow's party. Mistress has had her fill of fried clams. I am in my tank top and panties (little visual for you, you're welcome) pretending that I paid for this heat and that I am sitting in a glorious sauna catching up my blogging, ad writing, and writing my new goal list, which includes a clearly defined business plan. There are several entries in my mind that must be put into orderly sentences and paragraphs. Some have been occupying head space for the better part of a month and some are fresh. This may turn into a long night for me, but I am up for the challenge.

What makes a good submissive? Months ago I shared that both of my collared subs asked to be released. And yet slave allan  has volunteered to continue to be of service to me, with no expectations of favors or even my attention in return. The term natural submissive has been tossed around in a couple of conversations I have had recently. I concur that there are people who tend to be more submissive than others, in my opinion that doesn't make them better at it. I have always dated artists, singers, guitar players etc; people naturally inclined to be musical, and/or artistic. Those who have continued to follow their passions have become better at them, those who have not- well I don't know, because they don't do it anymore. Being a natural at a thing perhaps gives you an edge, devoting the time to your craft makes you a master of it. Veered of track a little bit there, stay with me. Slave allan may very well be a natural submissive. But that does not mean that my other sub was not a good submissive. 

What, in my opinion, makes a good submissive? That is the question I have been tossing around for weeks. I think I have sessioned with around 500 submissives. Although I have been in the scene for 20 years, there were years I focused only on regular clients and years I saw many new-to-me subs. Five hundred is my best guess. I have been blessed in that I have only ever had one client I would refuse to see again were he to call me. I am confident that he will not. But of course I can not instantly bring to mind all of the people I have met. As I pondered this question certain clients came to mind. At first it was the obvious ones, clients that have become friends, formerly collared or on-going submissives. After awhile though other subs, even ones I only saw once ages ago, started to come to mind. At first glance they don't have much in common. Their interests are all over the spectrum, my memory of their interest may not even be accurate after all this time. They are not necessarily the ones I found attractive. Some were newbies and some were more experienced than I. Here is what I remembered time after time, these are the things they had in common. These are the traits I thought of when I was finally able to articulate what it means to me when I say someone is a good submissive.

• The ability to articulate their intersts. Their list didn't have to match mine completely, we may have only had one interest in common, but they were able to name that interest. One of the most frustrating things for me when I am screening potential clients is when they say, “Whatever pleases you Mistress”. It frustrates me because I do understand that they do wish to please me and they have somehow been lead to believe the way to do that is to just agree to anything. I have many interests. I love all of them. It is a waste of my time to create a scene that is simply what I want if it doesn't meet my sub's needs. Know what I want? I want to hand your credit cards off to my assistant, because I hate to shop myself. I want to lock you in my kennel. Then I want to reread some of my favorite books until your time is up and your card is maxed out. Is that what you were hoping for? Actually I would hate that, and if that's what you are looking for find a findomme, and tell her you wish to be a paypig, those are the terms for that. I want magic. I want to be exhilarated or exhausted at the end of our session. I want tears, sweat, blood if that's within your comfort zone. A good submissive can say what their hopes are for their time with me. . 
• Honesty about their experience level. When a person tells me that they are very into xyz, I assume they have experienced xyz. Depending on the precise words they use I might even assume they have extensive experience with it. It happens sometimes though that what a person actually means is that they are attracted to xyz, they have thought about it, sought out images of it, but in the real world they have never experienced it. That's kind of a really important distinction. I have come to learn that as the person accepting responsibility for a scene, I need to ask questions and be certain I understand what has been said to me. But a good sub volunteers that information.    
• A good submissive pays attention. It thrills me when I see a returning client and during the how have you been stage of our time together they are able to say, Mistress how is quitting smoking going? Or any other thing that was discussed in our last session. Was my vacation relaxing? Is my garden coming along? They may not remember my birthday. They may not remember that my favorite flowers are orange roses. But remember that I was fighting off a cold the last time you saw me and ask me how I am feeling now. You know because I am not a fantasy fulfillment dispenser, I am person with feelings and people feel good when you follow-up.
• A good submissive is thoughtful. I receive gifts from my subs all the time. It would be inappropriate of me to start rattling off the dollar value of some of these gifts. I have been blessed with many generous subs in my career. It isn't the value of the gifts though, it is the sincere thoughtfulness behind them. I fell in love with the work of a submissive artist in the UK. a person I have never met in real life. He gave me access to his work and his blanket consent to use them as I saw fit. Once I had to put away a tool I intended to use when I realized it had suffered damage and was no longer safe to play with, the submissive I was in a scene with sent me a replacement within a couple days. I have a subbie who brings me the most delicious chocolate covered cherries. Thoughtfulness can be inexpensive, it can even be free. Truly, it is the thought that counts and it warms my icy heart when the thought was of me.
• A good submissive shares themselves with me. I do not mean a good submissive offers up their body to me. I mean a good submissive opens up their soul to me, or at least shares with me where they are at at this time. In part I need to know where my sub's head is, but also I want to know where my sub's head is. I want to know is this stress relief time, or is it the capstone of a perfect day. We are going to engage in some intense play. (That is another thought I have pinned for an entry, it is ALL intense play.)  It is my hope that our scene leaves my sub feeling wonderful. It might not though. If it doesn't, I am going to do my best to walk them through whatever feeling it gives them. 

Another top may have a completely different take on what makes a good submissive, and that is their prerogative. 

I am a Dominatrix

A couple weeks ago, on Mother's Day specifically if you're curious, I found myself chanting, "I work in the adult industry not a daycare, why am I being forced to deal with so much juvenile bullshit.". I wish I could say that all things quieted down from there. I can't, they didn't. What I can say is that my top, as always, had some insightful words and encouragement. 
So doesn't that make you a submissive, or maybe a switch Mistress Cassidy? If you enjoy being flogged, if you look to another dominant for guidance, if you knelt with your head on the floor.., um, what? The temp just went up a little in the room and I lost my train of thought.
Where was I?
Mistress Cassidy, Cassidy Cream and even vanilla, you saw me slip my legal name just recently didn't you? I'm not going to again, but yes even that woman, are tops, alphas, type As, dommes, dominants etc. I am all of those women and I am a dominatrix.  Let me tell you how I know this.
I love to wear corsets. They make me feel sleek, they remind me to stand straight and to own the space I am inhabiting. I feel strong and impenetrable in a corset. A corset is fashion. Enjoying corsets does not make one a top. Right now I am sitting here in leggings, a beater and yesterday's make-up, and I am still a top.
I make magic when I swing a flogger. I can make it dance an eighth of inch from your skin, just enough to stir the air around you and swirl the little hairs on your arm. And I can bring it down like thunder, causing plasma leaking welts to burst forth from you. I can do this while coquettishly swiveling my hips, sometimes with my eyes closed, in time with Take Me to Church or anything the DJ might be spinning. When I am finished you will drop to your knees if I ask you to and you will recognize me for the Goddess I am. Swinging a flogger is a learned skill. I am not a Type A because I  can swing a flogger. Anyone with the tools and patience can learn to do the same. Today I am catching up the electronic part of my job. I am doing laundry and while there is music playing there isn't much hip swiveling happening. I am still a type A alpha.
I like to be indulged. I like for there to be flowers in every room of my home. I love breakfast in bed, and see nothing wrong with requesting it on a random Tuesday and then again on Wednesday. I might not even say thank you if I am distracted, but that is rare- I tend to have impeccable manners. Being indulged is a side product of having had indulgent partners in my life and of having grown-up an only child. Today I am single. I do all the things myself and if I want breakfast in bed I will need to make it myself, like a muggle. Or I will need to pay for a hotel & room service. Enjoying being indulged is not what makes me a domme. When I make my own breakfast, I am still a domme.
I like to make people uncomfortable. There is a whole spectrum here. I like innocent discomfort like when I am speaking to someone and I can see them struggle to maintain eye contact, hear their voice catch a little and know that I am making them think less than wholesome thoughts.And I like more intentional discomfort, I like causing pain.  I like looking directly in a subs eyes, and slowly applying more and more pressure to bits that aren't intended to withstand much pressure at all. I love the moment when without words I see a sub slip from oh please you can't hurt me, to oh please don't make me ask you to stop hurting me to a desperate can't you hear me begging you to stop hurting me. But I only engage in those activities with those that have asked me to. I think everyone I know (or at least almost everyone I know) , including the people who ask me to hurt them, will tell you that I am mostly a kind & gentle person.  I am still a dominant if I break out my hot stones and give you a massage.

At our girl party several weeks ago I tapped my very good friend Mistress Dahlia and asked if she work me over a bit. Things have been stressful, I've mentioned that haven't I? I had new tools I needed to experience, and I had a real need for some hard core stress relief. I suppose I look submissive. She's slapping me between the shoulders with my new rod, it stings quite a bit. For fucksake I am biting the side of my thumb, is there anything more submissive than this? Now for those not as in-tune with my body language, I am absolutely blissed out. I am relaxed. I feel safe. I feel Dahlia pouring her attention into me and I am happy to receive it. I am ever so thankful that Dahlia knows what she is doing and I do not have to coach her through what I want, but there is no submission happening in this photo. Am I sure? Well this photo is a moment later...

I found myself having to yell at some ass across the room for messing with the music. Interrupt my bliss, they're lucky they still have a head at the top of their neck. 

I am still not sure that I have conveyed what I intended to here. 

 The night of our girl party, I was going to have a couple cocktails. I knew I wouldn't be driving. I was with a dozen people I would trust with my life. There was no reason I couldn't let my hair down. Then my Hazey was a little bit sad, about a boy. Mistress skipped the cocktails, and did her best to remind Hazey how valuable she is to me and how much I love her. That is what a top does.

When I go places, I am in the driver's seat. 

When a thing goes bump in the night, I get out of bed. 

When I have feelings that are not conducive to safe play, I either work through those feelings or I do not play. 

If ever someone suggested that I played in a manner that was unsafe, I'd sit down with a pen and my notebook and ask them to tell me precisely what they were talking about. I wouldn't stand up again until I was certain I heard every word that was said to me, even if it was painful. I wouldn't move until I knew I could correct the action they brought to my attention. Until I was certain that they were mistaken or that I now knew how to do this imaginary thing safely, I would never again do this thing to another human.  

This is what I mean when I say that I am a top, a Type A, an alpha, a domme, a dominant, a dominatrix. 

I mean, I am responsible.

In all ways, always.

The truth of the matter is, that is what I love and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Release & Restructure

Not that sort of release you dirty pervs, get your mind out of the gutter.
This will likely prove to be a far more somber entry. Mistress has been debating the appropriateness of sharing this for weeks, and after determining that it is not only appropriate but necessary, the words have been challenging to find.
Astute readers may have caught the small mention in my previous post. Among my responsibilities I shared I stated that I have or rather had two collared submissives. Mistress had two collared subs, slave allan that assisted with maintaining my blog, among other things, and who had served me faithfully for over a year as a long distance sub. And slave **** who assisted in keeping my dungeon in order, and served in person and online for oh about 6 months now.
As I've mentioned many times here, for months Mistress has been keeping an incredibly hectic schedule. Adjusting to the responsibilities and schedule that came with signing on with Princess Gemini Enterprises has proved especially challenging, but I absolutely love the experience. There aren't enough words to adequately convey how much this experience is giving to me. I clearly see Gemini's vision for her company, our company, and I am so blessed to be part of her team. While it is taxing, I would not walk away from it for anything.
My sabbatical had several hiccups and nearly failed to launch at all. New England weather lead to what should have been my last party, the budget I had planned for my trip, rescheduling for the following week. My vacation should have been 10 days, with a monetary buffer to insure my comfort until I returned. Instead, with the reschedule I could choose between carving out 5 days, 2 spent driving and a budget that didn't really include the gas to get home or putting off my trip until at least April or more realistically May. But Mistress aren't professional dommes independently wealthy and above such mundane BS like how to travel 800 miles on a shoe string? Maybe some are, Mistress Cassidy is not. Beginning in November my one on one sessions, my bread & butter, tend to slow down to a couple a week. In December, you know with all the expenses of the holidays and the uptick weather related expenses, I am happy if I see 5 clients all month. I don't know if I have ever seen a submissive in January. Sometimes February will bring a couple of brave souls out to see me, March finally starts to see my calendar filling up again and then the busy season is in full swing again. As you already know, I opted to take the 5 days rather than delay. It was the right decision.
While on my trip, each of my collared slaves asked to be released. I saw that this was likely coming at least a month before. If there were more hours in a day perhaps I could have prevented it. Perhaps I could have carved out more time to meet their needs and tend to them properly, but as often as I petition the universe for more, there are still only 24 hours in a day. Are you confused by the words I used? Tend to them, meet their needs; don't subs exist to serve their Mistress? Sure, in the spank bank world subs are mindless, patient, giving beings with no needs of their own who live on sunshine and the occasional smile from their Mistress or Master. I play with real humans though. Fragile, vulnerable, flawed humans with needs and wants of their own. They serve me, they do as I wish and do it to the best of their abilities but it is not a one way street. They need to be thanked properly. They need to be reminded that they serve me because they enjoy my company, by you know actually being in my company. They need the insights, they need to know me, to feel they serve someone worthy of their devotion. I failed to deliver those things with consistency, and I lost two devoted subs as a result. Of course I released them, nothing else would have been ethical. I sincerely wish them each the best and thank them for our time together and the services they provided.
On to restructure: 
I've made another decision about my one on one sessions. I am still sorting out the fine details about how it will work in practice, but I have decided that I will only session privately with subs under contract with, collared by me. I will no longer session privately with newbies or new to me clients. It's a huge financial risk, as I have said private sessions are what pays the bills.
I've been home from my trip for 11 days, I jumped right back into the same crazy schedule I left and I have looked at my calendar every single day & contemplated when can I fit another escape. How soon? Can I do it tomorrow? The question I needed to ask, how can a make it so I don't feel I need to escape. Oh, don't misread that, I love the people I spent time with, I will spend more time with them in the future, in the near future even. When there actually is time, not when I am stealing that time from my responsibilities. What can I change in my life so I don't need to escape it. When I sat with that question, when I really looked at what I do, what I value, and what just doesn't work, I finally saw it. I do love working with newbies. I feel a responsibility to the community that has been so good to me, to give back and play my part introducing new explorers. I do that best at parties. At a party I can give a new person a taste of what a session can be like. If there is a connection, they come back to me. A relationship can develop and I can invite them to my dungeon if I wish. Private sessions with newbies requires hours of preparation for someone who might simply not be a good match. While it pays well in the short term, it is a poor investment strategy. More than financial, the energy invested is best returned at parties. I can always earn more, I can not buy back my time.
As I fine tune how exactly I am going to implement this expect updates. In the interim if we have talked before but not sessioned yet, I will still session with you. If we haven't talked before, but you have been trying to work up the nerve to schedule now is the time.

Travel Q&A with Mistress Cassidy & slave allan

1: Now that the two month of 2018 is behind us and we look ahead to spring is upon us. Does the rebirth of spring have Mistress Cassidy planning any changes to yourself or to your dungeon and what interesting events are upcoming for you and the dungeon crew?

There is so much going on with both my dungeon at Safe Haven and with Princess Gemini Enterprises. Most of these things are still in the planning, not ready for disclosing just yet stage. But stay posted. Mistress is also moving very soon, and I may need some subbies to haul my gear where ever I'm going next. Yes, Mistress needs to move in about 6 weeks, and as of yet, I have no idea where I am going. 

2: You mentioned either to me or on your FetLife profile that you would like to pack your toy bag and travel more this year to offer your domination to other willing subs. I realize that traveling to my neck of the woods is

not in the plans but is there some destinations that you may be considering.

Canada actually is on the agenda for July, but I am looking at Toronto to visit a friend of mine.

Let's see what's on the calendar so far... I'm heading to Richmond next Sunday, March 4th. I'll be there for 2 or 3 days, and sessions will be available while I am there.

Then Mistress is heading to Myrtle Beach, SC for more of a workcation

And then the whirlwind trip will wrap up with Mistress spending a few days having some glorious downtime with a playmate in xxxxxxxx. No sessions will be happening during that leg of the trip.

Austin is tentatively on the calendar for June. There are a couple more trips also penciled on the calendar, but those like the plans for the dungeon & parties are still in that not ready to announce stage.

3: You mentioned on FetLife that you need some help and you have a need for an assistant. For those fans who choose not to be on FetLife, would Mistress like to mention here for them what assistance you are looking
for.

I'm not sure which post you're referring to, I have been looking for several professionals. I was looking for a stylist, but I have found Miss Hazy and so far, she's working out quite well.

I also need a web designer to do some work on my site. 

I could use a media manager, especially when I try again to quit smoking. It's impossible for me to manage my accounts during the first few days quitting, it has been my downfall twice now.

Another Round of Q&A

  Today we venture back to Mistress's studio to find Mistress Cassidy. Mistress has agreed to answer some more questions for us. The topic today is about general BDSM practices. In future Q and A's, if Mistress permits me, I would like to focus on just one topic. That way the people coming into the scene can benefit form Mistress Cassidy's experience. Also, keep an eye out for my blunder. Even with just asking questions a slave can get into trouble. I better get this started before Mistress decides to snap her whip

Could Mistress describe for those new to the scene, what is wax play?I would put wax play under the umbrella of sensory play. Wax play might take the form of simply dripping candle wax from a low-temp burn candle onto a partner's or one's own skinor it could be an elaborate scene of layering waxes, that one might sculpt, carve, peel or whatever your wicked imagination can come up with.


What are sounds?

 Urethra sounds are wands/rods that are inserted into the urethra. They should be medical grade stainless steel and properly sterilized between use or disposable catheters may be used. 

When you watch a BDSM scene on a video clip, when a sub is being flogged the motion of the flogger looks like it is only lightly caressing the sub. Is there a level of pain and discomfort for the sub during these punishments? 
 Floggers are made out of many materials from tickling fur to biting stiff leather. There are many ways to swing a flogger and a whole body's worth of places to land the swing.  I don't know what flogging movies you have viewed so I can't speak to what the sub may have been experiencing. My go-to floggers are a pair of red and black suede floggers with weighted handles. I have been swinging this specific set for at least a decade now, so they are well broken in. I can swing these so they don't touch the sub's skin but simply cause a stir of the air, I can caress like a massage with them, I can do thuddy, rhythmic flogging or I can cause welts with them. I often use them in one hand, doubling the impact. I sometimes hold them above a sub's flesh & just shake them so they tickle the sub. When I do two-handed flogging I might swing them in unison, I might do an alternating swing or if I am feeling particularly rhythmic I might do one forward & one back- I often goof this up after a half dozen swings though. I have several floggers. I have mentioned a few of my other favorites in previous entries. I have a short, maybe 15" stiff rubber that seems to have been made from the same material as a car floor mat. Again, a soft swing will just make a thuddy impact. A swing with some weight behind it will bring welts. I have a super stiff purple leather, that's around 30"s and I would love it except it has a less than comfortable handle. A heavy swing with that will break the skin. Then I have my silver handled weighted, black leather that has 24" or so fells. The handle is very comfortable, and it will also break the skin. I have paracord floggers, I had a beaded flogger- not sure what happened to that now that I am thinking of it. I have latex floggers in a range of lengths, including 6" nipple teasers. Material & swing determine how it feels against the skin. 
   

In a BDSM scene, do some dominants actually use bull whips, cattle prods, and shock collars? Or is that a myth?

 Some dominants use bullwhips. Some use cattle prods. Some use shock collars. At one time I owned an elastarator (gizmo used to castrate goats & cattle), and I used that several times before becoming annoyed with always dropping the itty bitty elastics all over my space & retiring the piece. I have never used a bullwhip, cattle prod or shock collar in a scene. My space is not big enough to use a bullwhip in, and I do not know a qualified user to tutor me in proper use. I imagine cattle prods & shock collars are probably similar to using a TENs unit, but I do not have any personal experience with either.
Have you ever heard of the term pervertable? And if you have, could you tell the new people to the scene what it means?
 A pervertable is a vanilla item that can be used as a kink item. I have a pair of paper holders, I suppose they were intended to hold phone messages or something like that- alligator clips on a spiral of wire attached to a weighted base. Since I use them to clip nipples, we could say that they are a pervertable. A feather duster is a pervertable, a leather belt is a pervertable. There is a song from a kid show that's name is escaping me that features a song called "Anything Can Be a Bookmark" and the lyrics go on to suggest you can use all sorts of things including your grandma as a bookmark. It's quite silly, but just as anything can be a bookmark, anything can be a pervertable. 

For newbies among us. Is there a difference between Femdomme and serving a Mistress?

There is or there isn't based on what the terms mean to the person using them. A Mistress may or may not be a professional Mistress, a Femdomme may or may not be a professional Domme/Dominatrix. One might serve, see or session with either or with a woman who identifies herself as one or the other. Femdomme sometimes means dommes who enjoy a female supremacy style of sessioning.

What is a Findomme, is it a fetish with fish, or a preference to dommes from Finland? ;)

Edit: I remember when I was responding to this Q&A with slave allan. I was in an incredibly cranky mood. I think that contributed to the less than complete response here. A findomme is also a specific fetish. From what I understand as it is not really a type of play I engage in, it is typically strictly about an exchange of money or gifts. The sub enjoys gifting, indulging, perhaps providing for his dominant and his dominant enjoys receiving. But it is also, incorrectly I might add, used as I described below. /End edit 

A Findomme is an (IMO) stupid word someone coined to described a professional dominant woman, aka a woman who charges you to beat your ass. While some women seem to embrace the term, and that's their prerogative, I find it silly at best. Forevermore I'm going to think of a Finish Domme with a Fish thanks to your question. I prefer the term professional, and the average person shouldn't have such a difficult time understanding that professional means one who is compensated for their service. But yet every day I encounter a new newbie who has to have that explained to him, who then often tosses an "Oh you're just a Findomme then and it's all about the money for you" at me. It's late now, I am overtired we may edit this before publication. But you touched a pet peeve of mine. Does the average dude believe that they can contact a stranger, include a dick pic and ask her to truss him up like the Christmas goose and light his ass on fire and that the average woman is going to jump at such a glorious opportunity? And if the average dude knows women who would, he should contact those women & not me. It is not "all about the money", what a ridiculous accusation; but I know of no one who loves their job so much that they do it for strangers for free. I love what I do as much if not more than any of my friends seem to love their job, it is completely reasonable that one of the reasons I love it is because I am compensated very well to do it.  ( I am pleased to say that slave allan was not punished for making Mistress think of a Finish domme with a fish)

What would you say was the most interesting thing you ever did to a sub with ice.
 The most interesting things I have done with ice specifically have been during my personal time not during a session. I have a bit of a thing for ice, I think I forgot to mention that a few Q&As back when you asked about my fetishes. I guess I have done a thing or two with ice in sessions that I suppose is interesting in their own right. I will use ice and my hot stones during a sensory scene.  I have slipped ice into the plastic-wrapped subbie burrito. I have fed bound subs ice when they seem to be overheating. 


I don't know if you're a cold weather girl? Have you ever done an outside winter scene with a sub?
 I am very much a cold weather woman. Also don't refer to me as a girl again. If I opt to on occasion that is my prerogative; you will remember I am an adult, your superior and your owner. I have not actually done any outdoor winter scenes. While I love outdoor play, it is especially challenging. I think it is in very poor taste to expose others who have not consented to be part of your scene to session activities, even if one is very covert about it. Finding a place that one can reasonably expect will be free from mundane by-standers is a challenge on its own, finding an accessible spot in poor weather is more so. 

(I am very sorry Mistress, for displeasing you by me referring to you as a girl)

Other than the obvious, is there very much difference between a male and female session?Truthfully I have not had a session with an AFAB (assigned female at birth) woman professionally. I have had a limited number of couples session with me over the years. In my experiences with couples, it has been that the male partner was the primary submissive and the female partner either wished to learn a specific skill and/or wished to witness her partner's session. So even in my experience with couples, I have not really played with a female submissive professionally. Women, in my experience, do not seek professional scenes. I am sure the biggest reason for that is women seldom have a hard time finding a partner who will say that they will accommodate their interests. Which I think is in a way unfortunate, and likely leads to submissive women having much less than ideal experiences with partners of various skill levels before finding a skilled partner that they also connect with.  I wish that more women viewed their fantasy life in the same light they view their other personal needs. I don't think anyone would consider seeing a professional masseuse, for example, inappropriate while in a relationship with someone capable of rubbing their shoulders. While a massage is an intimate experience, no one would think if it as cheating or straying to see a professional when one needs the skill level of a professional.On your FetLife profile, you have pictures of some custom made collars. How would an individual be able to acquire one?

 Those are collars made by Master Paine, who I have mentioned a few times here. If one was interested in a custom collar or other leather piece, they should let me know & I will relay the information. Master Paine has a vanilla life too and I am not at liberty to give his contact info to strangers. 
Post editting note: Master Paine has now, finally, set-up a Fetlife profile. He can be found their under the handle "MisterPeterPain". 
  This is a shout out for Kinky Social at http://www.kinky-social.com/user/MistressCassidy  Are you enjoying the site?

I am. I love Fetlife, I have been a member there for many years. But right now on Kinky-Social, as a new site, it is pretty quiet when I visit. If I want to post a blog entry or comment on another's post I can do so without being interrupted by private messages. I am certain that soon enough that will change as the site gains momentum, but for now, I will enjoy the quietness.What is the name of your website again, for a first-time fan? 
cassidycream.comOnce again it has been a pleasure having Mistress Cassidy enlighten us with her knowledge of BDSM. Please make a point of visiting her profile on both Kinky Social and FetLife and say hello. Just remember, if you wish for Mistress to continue contacting you please always be polite and respectful and that will help. I am leaving Mistress's studio almost unscathed today. I must never refer to Mistress with anything less than a woman. Not with a girl, never never again. If anyone has any ideas for future topics, please let Mistress Cassidy know, and if you ask nicely enough she might put you in contact with me, so I can include your query in a future Q and A.